4: And With Every Passing Hour

I heard my alarm blare as I turned over and shut it off. The time read 6:01. I always woke up at 6:01. It was routine at this point.

I looked around my room; it was perfectly organized and filled with my awards and trophies. It feels more like all my expectations are staring at me than my personal space.

Different posters that my mom stole from my dad's office covered the walls; they were all weird motivational quotes and photos of different school events.

I drag myself out of bed and head to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror; I was confident; I was popular. Everyone knew me. Everyone liked me.

I looked at my eyes; I looked tired. I'm pretty overwhelmed. Pressure is crushing me slowly.

I rubbed my eyes.

I was in AP Chemistry, Calculus BC, AP U.S. Government and Politics, AP English Literature, and AP Drawing, and I have thankfully exhausted the Spanish program, so I don't take Spanish.

I'm slowly losing my mind, bro. 

I sigh and splash some water on my face, and I start my routine: brush my teeth, quick shower, go ask my mom to help me with my hair.

I put on some shorts and. 

"Momma, I need help," I called out, and she opened the door.

She sat me down on the toilet and helped me with my hair. Curly hair is hard, okay? 

She stretched it so it dropped around my face.

"Awe, you look so handsome," she said. "And breakfast is ready when you are."

I went back to my room and put a shirt on, followed by my shoes. 

I left my room and found my dad sitting at the table, looking through a few papers. He nodded his head at me as a head nod code for hello.

My mom walked into the kitchen with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. "Where's your brother?" 

"Right here," my brother said, walking in while looking at his phone.

He sat right next to me, and my mom put eggs and bacon in front of my brother, pancakes, and bacon in front of me, bacon in front of my dad, and pancakes and eggs in front of her.

We ate together, and it was nice. We talked about how our night was. It was peaceful and perfect.

My dad was awkwardly feeling my mom up under the table, but glad they were happy. I guess?

Me and my dad made eye contact across the table, and my eyes instantly shot back down to his food.

"Dad, leave Mom alone for like 5 minutes," my brother said. Thank you, Jason, for saying what we were all thinking. 

"She's my wife; I just want to love her," my dad said, kissing the side of my mom's face. 

My mom is a stay-at-home mom, and because my dad goes to school with us, she just runs errands and does stuff around the house. The house is always clean, so it's good on her.

"Nasty," I said, shoving pancakes in my mouth.

My parents split up once and then got back together. Every time I see them happy, I think about this.

My dad, uh, how do I put this lightly? He is an angry man. 

He was a bit abusive to my mom, my brother, and me.

I remember the day they left. My dad came home drunk out of his mind and started yelling at my mom about something stupid. 

My mom didn't yell back; she just cried. I remember because I was 9 or something and my brother was 7. We are in the same grade now, which is irrelevant to the story, because my parents enrolled me late and my brother early in kindergarten so we could be in the same grade.

I saw her crying and remembered asking why. Why was Daddy so mean to us? And why did he hit my mom? She hugged me tight and whispered that everything would be fine and that no matter what happened, she loved me.

Then she told me to go to bed and she'd come tuck me in. She didn't tuck me in that night.

The next morning, I woke up to an empty house. My dad had left with Jason, leaving me with my mom.

It took a few years and a whole lot of marriage counseling for them to finally get back together. After my dad stopped drinking and beating my mom and us, it took even longer for my mom to trust him again too.

I'm still surprised she had it in her to forgive him, but I'm glad she did because she's happy again.

My mom never stopped loving my dad, and those few years he didn't live with us broke her physically and mentally. She was alone with me and Jason. We lived in an apartment, and my dad would come to visit, with the supervision of my uncle, once a week. My mom was never in the room then; she was scared of my dad.

She went on one date and ended up walking out because she couldn't stop crying and thinking about my dad. 

Now I can't even imagine the pain she went through watching her husband turn unrecognizable.

It's been 8 years since then, and my parents got remarried 5 years ago now, so yeah.

My dad hasn't drunk since and has never even raised his voice at my mom. And if we even do something slightly wrong to our mom, he will scream at us.

He and my mom don't fight, and if they do, he immediately takes the blame and quickly goes to cuddle my mom.

People do change, I guess.

My brother and I put our dishes in the sink.

"Wash those fucking dishes," he yelled at us. Here's his angry side.

"Honey, I got them; they need to go get their bags," my mom said, and my dad's personality quickly changed.

"I'm sorry for yelling, darling; I just don't want too much work left for you," he said, grabbing one of her hands and kissing it. Maybe they were too lovey-dovey.

It wasn't even a show; my dad was like this to my mom, twenty-four seven, TWENTY-FOUR FUCKING SEVEN. Anyway.

"Let them get their bags, honey," my mom said again, and this time my dad nodded.

Jason and I walked up the stairs and went to our separate rooms.

My bag was already packed, so I grabbed my phone and my pin and walked down the stairs.

And they are making out. Disgusting. Downright disgusting.

I stood there.

"Dad," I called out, and my mom quickly went back to washing the dishes.

"You are nasty; let's go," I said, and my dad nodded.

"I'll come bring you something during my lunch break," my dad mumbled in my mom's ear, kissing her on the lips.

"I love you, Elijah," my mom said, and I nodded.

"I love you too," I said.

Jason came down the stairs.

"I love you, Jason," my mom said.

"Thank you," he said, pushing past me and my dad.

"Say I love you back, you ungrateful little-." Like I said, he is working on his anger.

"Honey," my mom said, and he put his head down.

At least my mom has him under control.

"I love you, darling," my dad said, kissing her again. Oh, my Lord, let's go.

And again and again.

I pushed past him and headed to the garage. I had my license and car, but why waste gas when my dad works at the school?

My dad followed me and handed me and Jason our water.

"Thank you; you are a jit," Jason says.

"I'm not sure what that means, but you are welcome," my dad says back. 

We drove to school, and I saw Kegan waiting for me.

He is my best friend, and honestly, he is kind of a dick; he is the vice president and has been on his bad boy dynasty since freshman year, but everyone loves him, so good for him, I guess.

"Hey loser," Kegan said, putting his arm around my shoulder.

"Fuck off," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Elijah," I hear my dad say.

"Sorry," I said.

"Watch your fucking mouth," he said. I wonder where I got it from. I just can't put my finger on it; it must be my mom.

I felt like I should not zone out in AP classes, but I did. Now it's lunch, and I think I might be hallucinating just a tad from all the information that was just force-fed into my brain.

"So, when are you going to tell me about your role?" Kegan asked as he sat down at the table with me.

"Why should I?"

"Because I am your vice president and your best friend," Kegan said, shining his braces at me.

"Still a terrible reason," I say laughing and Kegan rolls his eyes at me

"Okay, back to what you said the other day about that Alex kid, are you sure he's not the guy from the game?" I asked.

"That doesn't even make any sense; how would that work?" Kegan said. I guess he was right.

"If he was, and you knew, you would tell me, right?" dead silence. Fucker. 

Kegan's eyes shot up. I turned behind me. 

"Give me a second."

"Where are you going?" I asked, turning back around.

"Bathroom." with that flirty look on your face, hell no. 

I turned back around and there Kegan was harassing some kid.

I stood up and walked towards Kegan.

There a kid stood; he looked like the guy Kegan was dating in farmland love.

"Stop following me," the guy said.

"Come on, baby, don't pout."

"I'm not pouting."

"You so are bunny," Kegan said.

"Don't call me that; we aren't dating," the guy said, rolling his eyes.

"Not yet."

"Not ever." Damn, get rejected, idiot.

"Come on, bunny, I know you want me," Kegan said, grabbing the guy's hand as he tried to walk away.

He rolled his eyes. "I don-."

"Come on, bunny, don't pout; let me buy you lunch," Kegan said.

"I-." The guy's eyes locked with mine. "Your friend is here; I assume you don't want to pity me around him."

The guy pulled away from Kegan and quickly walked off.

Kegan turned around and smiled at me.

"Is that the guy you are dating in the game?" I asked.

"Yeah, he wants me," Kegan said.

"Yeah, no, he doesn't."

"He so does; I make him blush."

"I think that's because he's sunburnt, no one would ever blush for your ugly ass," I said hitting his arm.

"Same to you, ugly," Kegan said and put an arm around my shoulder as we walked back to our table.

I picked up our plates, and the two of us walked to the trash can.

We made our way to the lockers.

"Now I actually have to piss," Kegan said laughing, letting go of me and walking toward the bathroom.

Idiot.

I felt someone slam into my shoulder.

I quickly turned around.

"Alex," I said and I quickly covered my mouth.

I bent down to help him.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Uh yeah, I'm sorry," he said and he looked up at me. Alex. It has to be, oh he has no glasses. His hair is long and it covers his eyes; his face is cute and his eyes are warm.

"Do you wear glasses?" I wish my mouth would stop saying things without consulting my brain.

"Oh yeah, I don't normally wear them though, they are clammy," he said, laughing and I let out a laugh.

"You are Elijah?" he asks, and I nod.

"And you are-."I heard the bell blare, and Kegan's loud ass voice, both ruining my moment with this cute guy.

"Let's go fucker!"

"Lovely meeting you." and he disappeared into the crowd. 

"He's cute," I said with a smile.

"Let's go to class; stop being weird," Kegan said, putting his backpack in my other hand.

"You fucker."

"At least I have the balls to come out to my parents," said that little bitch.

"And this is why you get cussed out," I said, and Kegan's laugh echoed over the other conversations that were happening in the hallway.

"If you ever need help coming out, let me know-."

"Coming out of where?" I turned around. "Dad!" I said.

I hate Kegan more than ever right now. Holy fucking shit, he is a bitch, and this is why no one likes him. 

"Coming out of where?" he repeated.

"I-."

Kegan said, interrupting my dad. "I tried to lock him in his locker-."

"Again?" My dad was laughing.

"I'm sorry, sir," Kegan said, and my dad blew him off.

"I'll see you after practice because I have a meeting now. You boys stay out of trouble." and just like that, my dad was gone.

"I hate you," I said, pushing into the classroom and Kegan following behind.

"Hey, at least I covered for you," he said, patting me on the back.

"And almost exposed me at the same time," I said and the two of us sat in our seats, right next to each other.

I think we shared two classes together and English was one of them and the one we were currently in.

"I don't know how you can do so many AP classes; I'm doing two and I'm already stressed out," Kegan said, mumbling while leaning back in his chair and listening to the teacher. 

"Be better." Kegan gave me this look.

Dumb ass.

I heard the bell ring, and before I could even get my bag, Kegan bolted.

Relatable. I put everything in my bag and zipped it up.

"Can you give this to Kegan?" I turned around; it was this girl. This is bad because I am the school president, but I can't remember her name.

"Uh yeah, what is it?" I asked, and she giggled and walked out. Fucking weirdo.

I left the classroom and made my way to practice. Who starts football practice 20 minutes after school ends? I can't even get shit done.

I opened the thing the girl had given me to give to Kegan. We're best friends, of course, I have to know everything about his personal life.

Dear Kegan,

We have never really talked, but we have been in a couple of classes together, and I just wanted to say that I really like you. You are really handsome and even flirt with me sometimes, and I know you like me too, so we should just date already! Love Nella.

When I tell you, my mouth was wide open. No chance.

I crumbled the paper up and put it in my pocket.

Whatever, I do not need that energy in my life at the moment.

I made it to the locker room, and guess who I see harassing the kid AGAIN. Fucking Kegan.

"Stop pitying me," the kid said again. Why couldn't I remember his name? Fuck, I don't know.

He was still in his PE uniform, so I take it he didn't do a sport.

"I'm not; I really do think you are cute," Kegan said.

"I bet you say this to everyone."

"I don't." For someone who has boys and girls falling for him daily, my best friend was terrible at flirting.

"Alex told me you called me fat-."

"When?" Kegan snapped, not letting him finish his sentence.

"In the bathroom," the kid said.

"Bunny-. Nate, I swear I would never call you fat," Kegan said, trying to grab his hand.

Oh, so this was the guy he was dating in the game, Nate. Interesting 

Nate pulls back. "Okay, wait, I said you were short and a little chubby, but you are cute and it doesn't matter," Kegan said, my friend, you are digging yourself deeper in this hole.

Apparently, lacrosse is in the same season as football, so me and Kegan change together every day.

"Stop pitying me-."

"Kegan, what did I tell you about leaving Nate alone?" A voice rang, and Kegan quickly stood up straight and backed off.

It was the guy from earlier.

He grabbed Nate and mumbled something in his ear.

"I wasn't making fun of him," Kegan said.

"Kegan, change," I said, and he nodded.

"Sorry about him; again, he is terrible at social cues," I said, and Nate laughed. 

"It's okay; he's, uh, well, handsome." Mother fucker. I watched as Nate's face turned red. 

"They all think that; don't get hurt," I said, turning my attention to his friend, who was gone.

"Well, I will see you around." I waved, and Nate waved back.

I walked over to Kegan. "What is with you?"

"What? Are you falling for me too?"

"You wish; maybe if you didn't shave your head. Your forehead is too big-." Kegan rightfully smacked me as I laughed.

We started to change into our uniforms, and Kegan kept looking at himself in the mirror in his locker that his sister had given him.

"I'm joking about your forehead, dawg; you look handsome even with a buzz," I said, and Kegan nodded. He didn't believe me. 

"Dude-."

He interrupted me and said, "I heard you." He was blowing me off again.

We walked out, and whoever decided that football and lacrosse needed to happen at the same time deserves to burn in hell.

I grabbed Kegan's arm, and he turned around and looked at me. He was giving me this sad puppy look.

"Don't cry, dude; I'm playing," I said. He took a lot of things to heart for being this "bad boy."

I grabbed his face in my hands.

"Kegan, you are very handsome no matter what hairstyle you have, okay?" He nodded, blowing me off for the second time.

"Kegan," I said again.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Now let me go; it looks like you are about to kiss me," he said, laughing shyly.

"Oh, so you do want a kiss?" I asked and started aggressively pecking around his face.

"Dude," Kegan said in between laughter. 

"Say it; I'm handsome," I said.

"Dude-."

"Say it or I will keep kissing you," I said, going back to kissing him.

"I'm handsome," he said.

"Thank you; now hurry before we are late," I said, and the two of us ran to the field. Our school was pretty big, so we could practice on the same field.

I quickly kneeled down with my team as my coach gave us a lecture that I didn't listen to.

Practice went by slow as fuck because it always did.

I felt a lacrosse ball peg my back, and I turned around; it was Kegan.

"Give me that fucking stick!" I screamed, running after him.

For someone who was on the track team, he was hella slow, so I quickly caught up to him and rightfully started beating him with the stick.

"Eli, go back to football and leave your boyfriend alone," the lacrosse coach said, a little too loud for my liking.

I hit him again and quickly ran back to practice.

As quick as it started, it was over. Today was a drill day, and sure, my legs were going to be burning, but hey, at least we were done. For now. 

I made my way back to the locker room, and Kegan was staring at himself in the mirror.

"Still thinking about Nate?" I asked. 

"I do not have a crush on him," Kegan said. I snapped my neck to the side. Bitch what?

"I don't think I asked you that," I said as Kegan's face turned red

"So you do like him?" I asked as he followed me back to the locker part of the locker room.

"I guess," he mumbled. "He's so cute, like a little bunny."

I took off my shirt, listening to him go on and on about Nate.

"I take it your bad boy dynasty has come crashing down?"

Kegan rolled his eyes. "I guess."

Good, we were all sick of it. 

"You drive today?"

"Nope, Dad is taking me and Jason home; why do you need a ride?"

"No, just wondering if you can hang out," Kegan said, and I shook my head.

"We can hang out tomorrow or something, and you can come over and do homework," I said, and Kegan nodded as the two of us finished changing and grabbed all of our shit off the floor.

I grabbed Kegan's lacrosse stick and started twisting it around like I was catching a ball.

"You should play."

"My dad would kill me," I said.

We walked to the parking lot, and I dropped Kegan's stick into his mom's 2001 Honda.

"Momma still have your hellcat?" Kegan nodded.

"Yes, and because she bought it, I can't say no to her," he said, laughing, and he gave me a side hug.

"Let's hope this old ass thing gets me home," Kegan said, and he got in and pulled off, going a little too fast for driving a 2001 Honda in your school parking lot.

I opened my dad's truck and put my shit in there.

"Hi dad," I said as he pulled off. They were waiting for me.

"Hi," he said as we drove on.

I pushed open the garage door, and there my mom was cooking dinner.

"Hi baby," she said, and she was oddly excited to see me.

"Hi momma, you good?"

"Can't I be excited to see my sons?" she said. No, no, you can't.

"I guess you can," I said, and I hugged her and followed Jason upstairs.

"Why's mom so excited?" I asked.

"I don't know," Jason shrugged, and we both went our separate ways.

I looked down at my phone.

Damien: Your mother wants to eat dinner as a family, so once she says it's done, come downstairs.

Lovely. I didn't respond and just took out my homework. 

I did my homework in order of the class I had the next day, so if I didn't finish it, I could just do it during another class.

The homework was pretty easy so far, so I was getting through it pretty fast.

"Elijah! Jason! Come eat!" My mom yelled, and I heard Jason's big back ass door open, and I followed behind him.

Okay, I would be lying if I wasn't also starving.

My mom was putting plates down, and my dad was nowhere to be seen.

"Damien!" my mom called out, and he came out of his office quickly with a smile on his face.

"Right here, honey," he said with a smile. 

He sat next to my mom, and Jason and I sat next to each other.

We started eating, and my mom continued to be all giddy and happy.

Maybe tonight would be a good night to come out. The moods are high, and everyone's day looks like it went well.

My mom is all happy, and my dad is as well, because I see him once again feeling her up under the table. Crusty. 

Jason was, well, he was on his phone because he always is. Tonight might be the night.

Maybe I should have texted Kegan or something. Fuck, I left my phone upstairs. Okay. I can do this. I can do this

"Why did you want to tell us, dear?" my dad asked, turning his head to my mom. 

All of our attention is on our mom now. 

"Oh, uh, so I wasn't feeling well the past couple of days, and I got worried and went to the doctor, who, after giving me a high ass medical bill, told me I am 2 months pregnant," my mom said.

Huhh??? That's crazy.

Jason gave me this smirk, and we congratulated mom.

"That's cool, Mom," I said, and by the look on my dad's face, this was news to him too. 

"Yes," she said excitedly. That's why she was so giddy. 

"Why'd you give your brother that look, Jason?" my dad asked.

My brother smirked.

"No reason," he said, going back to his phone. 

He gave me that look because. He flashed me his phone.

Jason: Knowing your parents are still getting it on and without a condom too is INSANE.

I started laughing. I'm sorry, it was funny.

My mom's face dropped.

"Its not a bad thing, Mom, just us joking," I said, trying to reassure her.

"Are you sure?" she asked. It looks like we just kicked a kitten.

"Show your mom if it's not a bad thing," my dad said in a stern voice.

Jason smiled and slid his phone across the table. 

My dad quickly snatched the phone.

"Baby, I didn't read it," she said, trying to get the phone back from dad.

"You don't want to read it," my dad said, scooting back from the table with his plate in his hand and Jason's phone.

"Hey, give me my phone back," Jason said, getting up with his dish too.

"Its something about you and dad having sex," I said, laughing and grabbing both mine and my mom's plates.

"That's very vulgar. Damien, how dare you laugh at that?" my mom said.

"I wasn't, babe," my dad said, laughing.

"Knowing your parents are still getting it on and without a condom too is insane," my dad read, and my mom's face turned this slight red color.

Maybe I will tell them another day. I don't want to take the light away from my mom.

"Are you okay, Elijah?" my mom asked me. I nodded.

"I'll tell you another day; it's not that important," I said, and she nodded. When would that day come? We aren't sure.

"I'm going to go finish my homework," I said, and my parents nodded. My dad was kissing the side of my mom's face and holding her stomach as she washed dishes.

Good for them.

I sat down at my desk.

I could do my homework later. I grabbed my Oculus from under my desk, turned on my PC, and hooked everything up.

Farmland love. I clicked play. 

"Kegan, I saw you today. Why are we hanging out in my room in this game?" I asked, and Kegan shrugged.

He and I were awkwardly cuddled on my bed.

"Baby, come help me; I can't zip this," Nate said, and Kegan got up like a dog. I take it they are trying stuff on for us? Cool. Good job for once, Kegan. 

Alex came out in jeans, and I smiled at him.

"They look cute, honey bear," I said, and he smiled back at me.

"Thank you," he said, and I swung my legs around the bed and sat down where he was standing.

Damn, he has a nice ass. Respectfully, it looked at me first. I'm going to keep my hands to myself; just keep them nice and down, where they are supposed to be, because I am respectful.

"I like the dragon pattern going up the leg; that looks rad," I said, looking at him in the mirror.

"That's what I like about them," he said, turning around. Big ole booty all in my face. I rubbed my mouth.

"Yeah, me too," I said, making an effort to not look at his ass. 

I felt someone grab the back of my neck and yank me down.

"Stop looking at his ass," Kegan said, and then he jumped on me with full force.

"Cunt," and the two of us started laughing. "He's my boyfriend, so I have the right."

I pushed Kegan's heavy bald ass off of me, and he flopped down on the bed.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked, and I nodded.

"Surprisingly, Kegan's bald ass didn't kill me," I said, looking up at him from the bed. Even upside down, he looked gorgeous.

"I think he looks handsome with his bald head," Nate said, and Kegan gave me a look.

"I told you someone would find it handsome," I said, and Kegan grabbed Nate and held him on my bed.

He was kissing him all over.

I smiled and turned back around as Alex sat on the bed next to my head.

"Question for you."

"Yes?" I asked back.

"Does this thing correlate in real life for you?" I mean, Kegan does, but I'm not sure if the guy who likes you is actually you.

"Well, to be honest, I am not sure, because I have someone at my school who looks like you, but I don't know if that's you, Kegan and Nate aren't dating in real life, and neither are we, so I don't think it does. It's just kind of this break from reality kind of thing," I said, and Alex nodded.

"I like this reality a lot more," Alex said, snuggling into my arms.

"I do too; it's nice to have someone, and it's nice that someone actually loves Kegan's insufferable bald ass," I said, smiling.

"Yeah, Nate too. He's a hard shell to crack when it comes to emotions, so I am glad that someone is as infatuated with him as your best friend is," Alex said, looking over my shoulder. 

And they are making out.

"On my bed is insane," I said, and Nate jumped, but Kegan just held him closer and sat up in my bed with Nate in his arms.

"I just want to love my bunny," Kegan said, burying his face in Nate's neck.

"We don't want to see you love your bunny," Alex said, snugging next to me.

Real. I put an arm around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder.

Kegan once again started feeling Nate up and whispering strange things in his ear.

"On my bed is CRAZY!" I yelled, kicking Kegan in the leg.

"Whatever man," Kegan said, lying down behind Nate, who was still facing us.

Weirdo. 

"You should bleach your hair with the little star things, baby," Nate said, looking up at the ceiling. 

"I don't know what that is; show me," Kegan said, looking at Nates phone in his lap.

"Get the pink ones; those would be so cute," Nate said, and Kegan nodded with a smile.

Knowing Kegan, he would never follow through with it because he is bad at commitment. 

I kissed Alex's shoulder and flopped down on my bed.

"You better not touch your curls; they are too pretty for you to be a bald fucker too," Alex said, and I nodded, tapping his knee.

I felt myself yawn. Okay, that's enough.

I took off the oculus, and I was in my room, but this time I was alone. I turned off my PC and shut down my Oculus.

I lay down in bed. I was pretty lonely. Once everything died down, I was alone with my thoughts a lot.

I am very happy for my mom because I know she loves kids, but I don't want to let her or my dad down by coming out to them.

Whatever. Let me just sleep. I will think about this again tomorrow.

I put my bonnet on, and my head hit the pillow.