Chapter 10 The Memorial

The darkest nights always come before the brightest days... whichever way it was, it was Shania's story.

Only staring at their graves with their photos hung and the flowers withering brought back old memories of pain and regret.

The scene seemed so fresh in her head.

It was two years ago.

After she turned fifteen, her mother began to send her off to her father's office to deliver lunch. Mrs Jimmy said she wanted to put in effort in making her father love her.

Although Shania didn't like it, she didn't have a choice.

She had already given up on earning his love. What use would it be since she had done nothing wrong to attract hatred from her father?

On a Friday, she went to deliver lunch earlier than the assigned time.

She passed the gate after greeting the security man. She was already known as barrister Jimmy's daughter and no one questioned her presence.

Shania chuckled softly and opened the door without knocking.

Her eyes saw a lot.

She couldn't believe it was real.

Her father wasn't doing this, was he?

Her father's abusive howl drew her out from her drowning thoughts.

Shania shifted her gaze from her father to the pretty woman who was giggling in his arms.

They were so close in an embrace.

Shania glanced coldly; murderously at the woman.

Those arms were for her mother and only her mother.

No other woman was meant to be enclosed in her father's arms.

She dropped the flask and ran out of the office.

She didn't look back even when she heard the flask fall to the ground.

Deep down, she was contemplating whether to tell her mother or not.

She knew her mother would be disappointed, but would she believe her?

Later when she returned home, she retired to her room without speaking to anyone, not even Cecil.

And when she saw her father at home, she behaved as if nothing ever happened.

A few days later, she found out about the greatest shock of her life.

Her eyes grew wider as she scanned each word on the page.

It couldn't be true.

She started at the top and began to read it again.

Her father was cheating on her mother because she couldn't conceive again after Cecil's birth due to some complicated issues she couldn't understand.

It was an understandable situation since Mr Jimmy was an only son and child of his family.

He needed an heir; a male heir, and his wife couldn't provide them.

Shania couldn't tell but she knew hatred for her father had begun to consume her.

Even though he needed an heir, cheating wasn't an option.

Every thing he did irritated her.

"I wish father would pass away,"she voiced out to her mother in the kitchen.

Her mother stared at her. She could understand the pain visible in her eyes.

"You shouldn't wish him death, Shania. He's still your father,"she said to pacify her child who was chopping the vegetables aggressively.

There was nothing more she could say to the child who was pained deeply.

****

It was that fateful Friday. The weather seemed gloomy. Maybe this day was fated to be the worst.

Shania had made up her mind to tell her mother about the biggest news - her biggest achievement for the moment.

"Mom, I need to talk to you,"she said at the dining.

"Mom, I need to talk to you too,"Cecil chipped in.

Shania glanced at her sister coldly.

Why'd Cecil always come to speak whenever she needed to? Cecil could be at it again. Or she could even be the reason behind the cold treatment meted towards her?

Shania hissed and brushed off the delusional thoughts.

Her sister was loving and would never hurt anyone, not even her.

"Okay Cecil, go on. Shania, please give us sometime. Let's hear from the youngest first,"her mom pleaded.

"I promise to listen to whatever you would like to say afterwards with an undivided attention."

Shania's eyes widened in astonishment.

They all were ditching her for Cecil.

Why couldn't they treat her the same way and shower her with the love she had yearned for?

She trudged towards the stairs leading to her bedroom.

Within sometime, Cecil ran into the bedroom clapping her hands together with a huge grin on her face.

"Sister, mother and father has supported me to learn make-up training. I'll become a make-up artist soon. I'm so happy!"

Shania stopped on her track. Her hand suddenly became stiff with the comb as it hung above her hair.

Their father let Cecil? What about the forced idea of becoming a lawyer?

Then their father began to howl abusive words from the sitting room.

Shania's grades were bad. Someone like her would never be good enough, no matter how hard she tried.

She was unperturbed like a calm sea. It didn't matter again, did it?

Now, she'd given him a reason to howl at her and hit her; even better.

It was better because if he hits her, then there was a reason; not just any reason but she caused it.

It did hurt being hit and howled at when you did nothing wrong.

Cecil limped beside the giant sized bed; her breath sizzling.

"Help!"

She breathed heavily. She gasped for air.

Shania gazed at her. The asthmatic attacks had begun again.

She stood rigid.

'Why wasn't she helping her sister?'

Immediately, their father walked in; more words on the tip of his tongue.

He landed her a deft slap on her face.

Shania didn't feel any pain. Nothing was left of her being. She was already shattered; there was nothing left to destroy.

He ran towards Shania.

Everything happened quickly.

She dodged his intended hit and he dived onto the wood, hitting his head hard.

Her mother rushed in after dialing the ambulance.

On one side of the room was Cecil; lying lifeless, then on the other side was her husband with his bleeding head.

No one made a sound. Shania was certain she'd never heard a silence so silent before.

And for the first time, her mother yelled at her.

"What have you done, you demon-possessed child!"

Mrs Jimmy checked Cecil's pulse. She sighed and looked up at Shania who stood motionless. She couldn't speak or cry.

Those eyes held fear, disappointment...

It was the last time she saw her father and her sister.

It was the kind of Friday she knew she'd remember for the rest of her life.

"You know, your father had always loved you,"her mother's words snapped her out of her thoughts.

Her father? Loved? Her?

That self-absorbed, manipulative scum that never cared.

To hell with her father's love!

To hell with everyone blaming her for their death.

The only thing that hurt her the most was losing her loving sister; as for her father, she hadn't settled scores with him yet. She wanted him to pay for the monster he had turned her into!

****

Shania looked at her friends with an inexplicable expression when she saw them at the airport.

They had found out about her departure at the school announcement.

She remained motionless, despite knowing that they would go farther from one another.

"We couldn't come up with something nice but we still had to say goodbye,"James said.

"We'll miss you Shania."Jane sobbed uncontrollably, plodding towards her.

Shania chuckled softly and embraced her.

She turned to James and Nick, laughing bitterly as tears welled up in her eyes.

James embraced her longer than expected.

Mrs Jimmy stared as her eyes became teary.

Shania was going to hold on to those memories, her fantasies and the fact that she was fine again after so much had happened.

Every good thing has to end, eventually. She learned that the hard way.

It was time for her to leave after making the best grades and winning the writing contest.

Most of all, she would right that wrong somehow, someway.

There wasn't any need to regret!

She would pull herself together again and find the light this time!

Shania felt light and carefree; like the world was finally set to rights. Satisfaction welled up in her stomach.

She had been trying to find a remedy, a reason for all the times she wasted inside trying to find her identity, all the times she lost her mind.

If rebirth ever existed, she would love to come back to meet the same people but when the time comes, she would plead to let her choose another father, only once!