Prolog

In a carriage, a handsome man seems to sleep peacefully. his hazelnut hair is swaying slightly by the wind and together with the peaceful atmosphere inside the carriage will make every person feel sleepy and peace.

This man is Alex. Formerly Alex Royze. He was the only legitimate son of duke Royze, but born with an average magic.

It was not a secret that duke Royze hate this son of his. His only advantage was his adrogynous face. He have an average build, an average strength, and an average magic. Together with his meek and gentle character, the duke feels that he has waste his gene's.

But no one know, that this handsomely androgynous man's true identity is not a man but a woman.

Yes, Alex is a woman.

When the former Duchess give birth to her, she was so in despair that she use half of her soul to create a perfect magic to illusioned Alex as a man. The result, the duchess died 3 years after giving birth because an incomplete soul.

Remembering her mother makes Alex sigh slightly. To be honest, her time with her mother was unpleasant. Each day her mother always remind her that she was a man, not a woman. That she was the proud son of duke Royze and one day will take over that title.

Honestly, Alex never once believed her mother words at all. But maybe because she received her mother's love and hated by her father, she clung to her mother with all her heart. Hoping that someday her mother would realize it was futile and instead accept her identity as a daughter. but alas...

Before she have a time to knock a sense to her mother, God robbed her from her at the day of his 3th birthday.

Sigh....

Alex opened her eyes and stared at the outside with a dull eyes. It will took her a full day to go to the border with this speed, so she was pretty much chained here until she reach there.

Ugh... Oh well, it's better if she continues her sleep. with her magical capability, she was sure that she won't get hungry for 3 days straight.

Right... Let's sleep...

—————

Alex furrowed her brows.

She dreaming about a few people life's.

Sometimes she was a king.

Sometimes she was a queen.

A knight,

A Saint,

A mere villager,

She keep dreaming about someone else life's. After that person died, she will dreaming about another.

Again, again, and again. She watch how 'she' struggle in 'her' life, sometime reach a pinnacle of life, sometimes life like a mere pebble. Each of 'her' identity confused Alex, because she keep dreaming about a different gender.

Sometimes a man, sometimes a woman.

After struggling in a few 'life's', Alex decide to just enjoy the dream as an observer. Afterall, each time she dreaming someone's life, she will feel their memories and emotions. If she tried to remember each of it, Alex was sure she will go crazy, so she chose the best option. be indifferent. like an observer.

—————

Alex jolted awake when she feel the carriage stopped. She blinked her eyes a few times to focused her eyes, before confusedly stared at the outside.

"what—!"

A faint word escape from her mouth. She stared unbelievably on the outside. There, at least half of her Knights and servants was killed, while the other half keep protecting the carriage from a bunch of bandits.

"Don't falter! We mush protect young master from any harm!"

"protect the young master! we must ensure his survival until the border!"

"hahaha, you just talk big!"

"kekekekeke, brothers! their defense almost broke, keep going! hahahaha!"

a maniac laugh keep come out from the bandit leader, while his subordinates keep cheering and playing with the knights. it was supposed to be scary. but Alex was not care about that. what was making her in disbelief was the fact that her servants and knights seems to be enjoying themselves. there's a few grind time to time on their faces, while the bandits seems to be playing with them.

Alex lips quivered "... why?" she ask nowhere. She don't believe it, she doesn't believe it.

Why? why does her peoples keep shouting that they would protect her, while their face says otherwise? why? She never bullied the servant. She always polite and kind to them. not because she was gentle, but because she think them as her own persons. but why? why does they betray her?

She even though to work hard and give each of them a compensation later. Afterall, she have her 18 years education as a magic swordman, so she was quite confident that she can become a successful adventurer. at least not the high rank one. but just slightly above average.

"haha....hahaha...." a mocking laughter escape from her mouth. Alex just found that all this situation is hilarious. She feel like a fool. treating other with kindness but received the betrayal instead.

really... what a fool she is....

*snap*

*creak!*

Alex suddenly hear a breaking sound and she instantly hold her head painfully.

"agh— Aghh!!"

She feel like her head was going to explode! a bunch of memories and emotion poured to her brain in a fast rate. And she feel like she was going to pass out!

'I can't pass out here—!' she thought. on the outside there's a play between her betrayal servants and a bandits. who know what would they do after they finish their little play?

Alex shuddered at that thought. She can only grip her mother's given sword tightly, as if trying to transfering her pain to the sword.

Alex shut her eyes painfully. not realising that her precious sword was shining a faint and gentle glow. slowly and surely dulling her sense, subduing the pain slowly.

After a long time, she can no longer feel the pain, and she can finally sort out her memories and emotions. Getting hundred or so memories and emotions was no joke, that's why she can only try to bury them one by one. making sure that she can't always remember them, but if she need it, she can access the memories.

After she finish sorting herself, she began smile slightly.

"well, I suppose I'm still lucky. I guess I stuck with my previous arrangement" said the androgynous girl with a devilish but charming calm smile.

"goodbye despair~ hell-o world~"