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Chapter 44

“Ignore him,” I said.

“The last nurse that came to see me is a thief,” Papaw announced. “A fucking thief!”

“Watch your tongue, Daddy!” Mama said. “And she is not. She’s a very nice woman to put up with your contrariness.”

“She took my fucking teeth, Martha!” he exclaimed angrily.

“Oh, she did not!” Mama replied.

“What does she want with my goddamn teeth? Sell them on eBay? Or maybe it was a souvenir. Maybe she steals teeth from old men just to get her kicks. Well, I’d like to give her a kick.”

“If she stole your teeth, why are you wearing them now?” Mama asked.

“Well, that’s just it. She’s very smart, this one. She steals something; then she puts it back. I think she was just testing the waters.”

“Or maybe she cleaned them for you.”

“Still gave me a fright, Martha. I don’t want people messing with my fucking teeth.”

“Please don’t cuss, Daddy,” Mama said. “I swear I’m going to duct-tape your mouth shut.”

Papaw laughed.