C A S T L E // O F // G L A S S

~inspired by a song, and the soldiers who put their lives at risk for the sake of ours~

DISCLAIMER : I do not own this song or video, this is purely my interpretation.

"All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope."

-Winston Churchill

Knock knock

I walked slowly to the door, hoping it was my father. You see, he was in the army, and he had left a while ago for "work"- his choice of words, not mine.

I placed my hand over the cold metal knob, worn down by many years of use and twisted as the door opened. At first the light outside blinded me and I couldn't see, then I looked up to see the face of another man. He wasn't my father, though he wore a uniform similar to that of my fathers. A thought occurred: he knows where Dad is.

He was taller than me and looked around the same age as my dad. I counted about five medals pinned on his chest.

He removed his navy cap and held it in his right hand. He bent down to my level and looked me in the eyes.

"Where's..." I trailed off as the realization hit me.

"No..." I whispered.

He bit his lower lip, seeming to hold back tears; something I had never seen a man of his rank do. He must've been a friend of my fathers, this must be equally painful for him. Though in that moment, nothing could've felt worse. I couldn't imagine any pain worse than this.

I used to think that the worst feeling was fighting with your friend or such.

Oh how wrong I was. This was terrible.

My mother came up behind me, she was on a call earlier; she had left in the middle of lunch to take it and had seemed distressed.

She placed a delicate hand on my shoulder and I flinched. I didn't want anyone to touch me. It hurt.

She took it the wrong way and pulled me into a hug before I could protest.

I stiffened and pushed her away, turning back to the man on the doorstep. I nodded at him once, holding back tears, before walking back into the house, my footsteps causing the floorboards to creak and groan under my weight. Maybe they were mourning too. I walked down the passage, past all the pictures held in their wooden cages. Memories. Dad.

I trailed my fingertips along the wall, stopping as I reached one particular picture. I lifted it off the wall and held it in my shaking hands. It was one of me and my dad, we were sitting in front of a bonfire. Smiling. Always smiling.

Without realizing, my fingers had released their grasp on the frame and let it drop to the floor.

It landed with a 'crack' and the the glass shattered, sending lines across the picture. I didn't bend to pick it up, and carried on walking down the hall.

Up the stairs, each step becoming an effort as the realization hit me full-force that he wasn't coming home. Ever. I paused, my hand gripping the banister tightly as I closed my eyes and willed myself to forget.

I made it to my room and curled up on my bed, pulling out my headphones in an attempt to drown out the voices downstairs.

Hardly able to see the screen of my phone through the tears, I clicked something at random and closed my eyes.

He didn't deserve this. He was such a kind man. Everything that he had done for me and mom, keeping us happy. He always made me laugh and it hurts. It hurts like hell. Because now I don't think I'll ever laugh again.

Take me down to the river bend,

Take me down to the fighting end.

Wash the poison from off my skin,

And show me how to be whole again.

Soon enough, the tears came, and I didn't try and stop it. I couldn't deal with all the weight, all the memories, everything at once, no matter how much my head wanted me to. In a way, I hoped some of the weight of this burden could be shed along with my tears.

Fly me up on a silver wing,

Past the black where the sirens sing.

Warm me up in a nova's glow,

And drop me down to the dream below.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to focus on the music. No matter how hard I tried, how focused I was, there was always a small part of my mind that reminded me that he was gone. And even that small part was way too much.

Cause I'm only a crack

In this castle of glass

Hardly anything there for you to see

For you to see

Next the anger came. This was wrong. Unfair. Whoever had done this, my father didn't deserve it. They took away a part of a heart and my world.

Bring me home in a blinding dream

Through the secrets that I have seen

Wash the poison from off my skin

And show me how to be whole again

I stood up and my headphones fell back to my bed, however, now the song was stuck in my head. Playing from a non-existent source. It wasn't welcome anymore.

Cause I'm only a crack

In this castle of glass

Hardly anything there for you to see

For you to see

I walked across my room and dropped down into my chair. I can't deal with all these emotions. Glancing at a picture that I had framed on my desk, my anger somewhat increased and I spotted a vase with a single white rose in it.

Cause I'm only a crack

In this castle of glass

Hardly anything else I need to be

I picked up the vase and without thinking, threw it across the room. It smashed against the wall and the white shards of porcelain dropped to the floor, along with the rose. Spilling water across the floorboards.

Cause I'm only a crack

In this castle of glass

Hardly anything there for you to see

For you to see

I made my way up to the scattered mess and picked up one of the shards in my hand. I closed my eyes as I started crying again. Involuntarily, my grasp on the shard tightened and I felt it dig into my palm, drawing blood. I opened my eyes and dropped the shard. My hand was red as I gently picked up the rose.

For you to see

The petals had little drops of red on it. Somehow it still looked beautiful and I envied it.

I wished, so damn much that he would just come home. That I could give him one last hug and say goodbye. But no. Wishes don't come true.

He was gone.

And I couldn't change it.

I dropped the rose and sat back, my legs crossed and my head on my hands. I didn't care about the blood anymore.

I didn't care about anything.

For you to see

"One day Life asked death, 'Why is it that people love me but hate you?'

Death replied, 'It is because you are a beautiful lie, while I am the ugly truth.'"