5 The discovery
Day 46
Tonight was the new full moon. This revelation caused me to ponder for a long time.
I crept up into the attic and hid. Soon, the moon would be aligned with the skylight.
I stood upright, back to the window, hands clinched, as per the routine in place since my last encounter.
A shadow appeared on the attic floor around 10 p.m. sharp, at first extremely thin, barely thicker than a pencil line, then it grew in size. The shadow should have remained still, but it raised its arms, which were crushed against my side. The shadow's head swung to the right and left, stood in profile, and, as shocking as it may appear, stuck its tongue out at me.
Yes, it is possible to be scared and laugh at the same moment; they are not mutually exclusive. The shadow grew longer in front of my feet and began to bend the boxes. Her palm rested on a box, exactly as if she were leaning on it, as she wriggled between the trunks.
"Who are you?"
'Which character do you want me to play? I am your shadow; I am yours.'
"Show it!"
'See for yourself by opening this box. I have a small gift for you.'
The shadow slipped away as I made three steps forward.
'Don't take the one above because you've already opened it; instead, take the one below.'
I did what I was told. I tossed the first box to the ground and opened the lid of the second. It was full of images of me on the day I was born, which I had never seen before.
The shadow said, 'Now sit down, we need to chat.'
I sat on the floor, cross-legged. I had the sensation that the shadow was turning its back on me when it got into the same position, facing me, but it was only the effect of moonlight.
'You possess a very uncommon ability, but you must use caution in its application.'
The shadow continued to talk, but I couldn't comprehend what it was saying because of a startling noise. It gave me the idea that it was crucial to my future.
"Are you really my shadow?" I inquired, trying to elicit a response.
'It doesn't matter if it's yours, the guard's, Lucas's, or Alain's; let's just say I'm the shadow class's representative.'
I screamed as a hand reached for my shoulder. My mother's visage greeted me as I turned around.
"Are you conversing with your shadow, sweetheart?"
I prayed she hadn't picked up on everything for a little second. She, on the other hand, smiled and sat cross-legged next to me. I came to the conclusion that she has some sort of power. That I wasn't good enough for the appointments with the psychologist, but that I was like my mother.
Mom snatched me up and cradled me in her arms.
She inquired, "Aren't you afraid?"
I reassured her by saying, "No, I swear I'm not."
Mom gazed up at the night sky through the skylight.
"From here, the view is breathtaking. It's been a long time since I've been up in this attic. Tell me what your shadow and you were saying."
As I turned around, I noticed my mother's shadow standing next to mine, hugging. As a result, I hugged my mother and lavished her with all of my affection.
'My baby, I adore you.' I smiled as Mom's shadow confirmed what I already knew.
"Would you mind telling me how it all began for you?"
Mom said, "Not tonight."
"Did you have the same age as me? Is that something that happens when you become eighteen?"
"I have no idea who told you that." Mom gave me an odd look.
"No one, I didn't say anything to anyone."
"Have you recently met an older man?"
"Lately? As?"
"A couple of months before your birthday. Perhaps three months.”
"That would be the start of the academic year. At the school, a few of the teachers are rather old... I'm not sure which one it may be."
"One who spends a lot of time with the students and is able to be with them anywhere..."
"The guard! So what?"
"How long have you been stealing shadows?"
"A few days following the start of the school year."
"Did you send it back?"
"I did. And then what? What's next?'
"You studied shadows in your father's books. That is why you're here. Did you make it to level four?"
"Level FOUR?"
"Level 1: Day shadow : I see shadows. Level 2: Day Shadow : I'm stealing Shadows. Level 3: Day Shadow I return the favor...
"Level 4... Night Shadow. Ah, I see what you mean. Level 5..."
My mother looked at me as though she didn't want me to get to level 6 with the detail and said, "Now it's time for you to go to bed."
I dragged myself to bed, hoping my mother would take the time to explain everything to me.
When I awoke in the morning, there was a shadow of my mother's reminder on my nightstand.
My shadow read the reminder to me and informed me that I needed to go shopping on the way home. I grinned, believing that my mother and I had a secret, but I became enraged when I realized that I had to complete this shopping job.
-
-
Day 84
The sea does not grow old. Last year, the beach at Biarritz was the same. With the exception of Kerry.
I'd just recently arrived in Biarritz. Winter vacations have already begun. At the beach, I met Kerry, a girl far more attractive than Hanna.
Kerry creates evocative poetry by drawing words in the air. Hanna isn't even close to her. My father used to tell me that you should never compare individuals; everyone is unique, and the key is to find the difference that best suits you. Kerry was the one who set me apart.
Kerry approached me as we went down the bay on a bright late morning. On the sand, our shadows brushed against one other.
I paused for a moment, deciding that I didn't want to take her shadow just yet, and took a step back. Kerry was perplexed by my reaction. She gave me a serious stare. I didn't want to find out anything about her that she didn't want me to know.
Kerry had no way of knowing; my backward action had harmed her, and she bolted.
-
-
Day 85
The sky was hazy the next day. Kerry was kneeling on a rock near the pier's end, throwing pebbles into the water. I sat down close to her but she completely ignored me. Kerry rose and walked away. I followed her, positioned myself in front of her, and pointed across the pier at our shadows. I asked her not to move, stepped to the side, and her shadow clung to me.
She recognized what had happened right away. The one in front of me had long hair, whereas the one in front of her had short.
I put my hands over my ears, expecting her shadow wouldn't be as quiet as she was, but I still heard her say, "Help me!"
I got down on my knees and yelled, "Shut up, please, shut up!"
Our shadows began to overlap again, and everything returned to normal.
Kerry sat there, and I could tell by her frown that she wanted something from me.
"How do you do that?" she asked, pulling a little notepad from her pocket and scribbling on a sheet of paper before handing it to me.
I took her notepad to respond to her.
"Do ?"
Kerry wrote, "Your thing with the shadows."
"I don't know, it simply occurred to me."
Kerry scratched out her line on the page with her pencil, having changed her mind while writing. I could still read "You're insane!" Beneath the line, but she had finally preferred to tell me "You're lucky, do the shadows talk to you?"
She had no way of knowing. I couldn't tell her the truth.
"Yes!"
"Is mine deafeningly quiet?"
"I don't believe so."
"Do you believe that or are you certain?"
"It is not deafeningly quiet."
"It's natural; I'm not deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly! Would you like to speak with my shadow?"
"No, I'd prefer to speak with you."
"Did it say anything to you?
"Nothing significant; it was far too brief."
"Does my shadow have a pleasant tone to it?"
I had no idea how significant Kerry's question was to me. It was as if a blind person had asked me to show her her reflection in a mirror. Kerry's distinguishing feature was her silence, which set her apart from other girls her age; yet, Kerry aspired to seem like any other girl her age, a girl who could express herself in ways other than signs. If only she'd realized how lovely her difference was.
I took the pencil from the table.
"Your shadow's voice is clear, attractive, and musical, Kerry. It's the ideal match for you."
I blushed while writing these sentences, and Kerry flushed when she read them.
"Can you tell me why you're sad?" Kerry had approached me with the question.
"Because vacations have to come to an end, and I'll miss you."
"We have one week left, and you'll know where to find me if you come back next year."
"At the lighthouse."
"On the first day of vacations, I'll be waiting for you there."
"Are you sure?"
Kerry made a hand gesture that looked like a promise. It's far more wonderful than words can convey.
"I would like you to walk over my shadow again, and tell me what it tells you," Kerry wrote on the notebook as lightning struck the sky.
She locked her gaze on me. "You are my shadow thief, wherever you are, I will always think of you," she smiled and scrawled on the pad before rushing away.
This is how life can be turned on its head. It only takes meeting a Kerry to make no morning the same, nothing the same, and loneliness melt away.
-
-
Day 86
I walked away from the pier and went for a walk near the beach bazaar, where I purchased a kite. In the distance, the kite's shadow drifted across the beach.
Suddenly, a familiar shadow appeared alongside me. I was on the verge of dropping my eagle. To my right, Kerry was standing.
She put her hand on mine to grip the handle, not to keep it. Kerry's smile was captivating, and I would have been unable to refuse her anything if I hadn't delivered it to her.
This would not be her first attempt. Kerry flew the kite with incredible dexterity. Perfect 'S's', complete '8s' in a row.
Kerry possessed the ability to write poetry in the air and could draw letters in the sky. "I missed you," I read when I finally figured out what she was up to.
You'll never forget a girl who manages to write "I missed you" to you with a kite.
Kerry sat on the wet sand after putting the eagle down on the beach. Our shadows had merged. Kerry is leaning in my direction.
'I'm not sure which hurts more: the mockery I perceive behind my back or the dismissive looks that flash in front of me.' Who cares if a female can't communicate or yells when she laughs? Who will reassure me when I'm afraid? And I'm already afraid to the point where I can't hear anything, even my own thoughts. I'm afraid of growing up, I'm alone, and my days feel like endless nights that repeat themselves like a machine.'
