[Hippity Hoppity - 3]

//Sex.//

================================================================

"...What the... -UGH-... my head..."

Evans awoke with a bone-breaking, head-splitting headache. He barely noted that he was naked until the pink bed covers of an unfamiliar bed fell off him, revealing his body in all its naked, muscular glory. Blinking slowly, he looked around the room and with each passing second his confusion grew to new heights. He was... in a love hotel. And good god did it stink there! The stench of sex was thick and there were no windows, so the smell of semen would only continue to linger for some more time.

Looking to the side, all breath escaped from Evans' lungs. There, in the bed next to him in all her curvy, nude glory was a woman that many could only dream of the railing like a piece of meat. Yang Xiao Long, the blonde's fat tits weren't covered and left for Evans to admire. She was laying on her back, her body sprawled across her side of the bed in an unconscious state.

-HMM-

Evans was broken from his lust-filled gaze by the sound of his scroll vibrating, but when he turned to pick it up he noticed that this was indeed not his scroll. It wasn't Yang's either, her's was by her bedside drawer, so whose scroll was this? Still deciding to pick it up, Evans was greeted with a rather puzzling message.

[Congratulations on losing your virginity!]

'...What the fuckity fuck?'

[You have been awarded a certain number of SEX POINTS!]

-[Position Bonus]: 900SP [9x100]

-[Orgasm Bonus]: 3000SP [6x500]

-[Sex Bonus]: 1000SP

-[Newbie Bonus]: 1500SP

-[Impregnation Bonus]: 5000SP [2x2500]

-[Round Bonus]: 32 000SP [8x4000]

-[Overall SP Gained]: 43 400SP

[Would you like to claim these rewards?]

Evans' heart pretty much stopped at one of the listings, it read... [Impregnation Bonus]. He began feeling lightheaded, almost fainting was it not for the miraculous appearance of yet another line of text on his scroll that would save him from premature parenthood.

[WARNING! Upon claiming these rewards the fertilized eggs will disappear.]

'Phew, dodged a fucking bullet there!'

Never in his life did he press a button as quickly as he did now. Upon doing so, he noted a small meter in the top left corner of his scroll's screen that displayed the current number of these so-called SEX POINTS he had acquired. 43 400... he didn't know if it was good or bad, but it seemed pretty good!

'...Wait, what do I use these on?'

That... was a good question. Evans had no idea how this whole thing even worked, but it seemed that it wouldn't be such a bad thing considering it gave him rewards for having a blast with one of the hottest bombshells around. The layout of his scroll didn't appear that much different, even the contacts remained the same, the only difference being the addition of an unfamiliar app and a distinctly different outer appearance, now being black and golden instead of the usual white.

Still, this thing was a massive upgrade to his previously outdated scroll so who was he to complain? The newly installed app that he found was labelled as... ahem, the "SEX MENU", upon opening it he was greeted with two options. SEX SHOP and STATUS.

[Evans Brimir]

-[Libido: C-]

-[Virility: B-]

-[Technique: D-]

-[Charisma: B+]

-[Aura: D+]

-[Strength: D]

-[Speed: E+]

-[Durability: D-]

-[Semblance: N/A]

'Okay... these are pretty... shit? I don't know, what's the benchmark for these?'

And as if the system itself could hear his thoughts, a text message appeared on the screen detailing the respective classes and tiers of each one of Evans' stats, helping him get a basic idea of just how strong/weak he truly is. A normal huntsman who has graduated from an academy, regardless of which according to these sacred texts, has a rank of around B for every stat. A few rare exceptions, according to these messages, would be an A. Only the very best of the best would be able to have an S in their STATS, meaning that Evans wasn't THAT bad, but there was still a lot of room to grow.

Now exiting the status menu, he instead opened the SEX shop and was immediately greeted with a really long list of strange, sometimes even convoluted items with a price tag next to them and either a blank, grey BUY button or a bright orange one, signalling whether he could afford it or not.

>>>[SEX SHOP]<<<

>>[CONSUMABLES]<<

>[Temporary Affliction Pill]-[500SP]: a pill that upon being eaten provides the user with a temporary status affliction of their choosing, however, the duration and power of these pills is very limited and are recommended to be eaten in bulk.

>[Strenghtening Pill]-[1000SP]: a special kind of pill that can marginally boost one of every stat. The higher the stat, the lower the augmentation level. Once the user reaches a bottleneck, the Sex Shop will upgrade the quality but also the price of these pills. Taking these pills is not limited to just the user and they can be taken by anyone with various effects. They cannot strengthen libido or virility.

>[Libido Pill]-[2500SP]: a pill that magnifies the user's sex drive upon being taken by 10%. Has no uppermost limit but it is recommended not to go overboard as one can go mad with lust. Anyone can eat this pill but it is best if one doesn't eat too many of them as they can literally have sex until they die of exhaustion.

>[Virility Pill]-[5000SP]: a pill that enhances the user's virility, boosting the potency of the user's sperm by 15% for each pill. The maximum limit of boosted virility is 1000%. 1 impregnation = 100%. Only works on males.

>[Addiction Pill]-[10 000SP]: upon consumption multiplies the user's addiction to whatever gives them the most pleasure at that moment.

>[Truth Pill]-[50 000SP]: a pill that will prompt the user to always say the truth for the duration of 1 hour. Nobody can resist its effects.

>[Age Regression Pill]-[150 000SP]: a pill that restores one's body to its prime years upon consumption.

>[Sacrificial Pill]-[500 000SP]: upon consumption, irreversible and immediate death occurs.

>[Revival Pill]-[1 000 000SP]: a consumable that doesn't actually have to be eaten to work, but only has to come into contact with part of the deceased's body. Upon doing so, the dead person is revived with a fully healed body. Does not create clothes.

>[Divine Pill]-[2 000 000SP]: a pill that transforms the user's physiology from mortal to divine, giving them an almost endless number of physical and metaphysical bonuses such as immortality, eternal youth and greater physical strength and so on. Can only be bought and consumed once. The effects vary from person to person.

>>[MASTERY TOMES]<<

>[Sex Mastery Tome]-[25 000SP]: upon reading this tome, the user becomes a master at pleasuring their partners. Can only be used once. Anyone can read it.

>[Personal Skill Mastery Tome]-[25 000SP]: upon reading this tome, the user becomes a master at any of their personal skills, be it cooking or something lenient such as folding clothes or cleaning.

>[Weapon Mastery Tome]-[50 000SP]: upon reading this tome, the user becomes a master of their chosen weapon. However, the tome disappears after use and applies only to one portion of a multi-form weapon, such as a gun-sword hybrid. Anyone can read it.

>[Science Mastery Tome]-[50 000SP]: upon reading this tome, the user becomes a master at the art of science. Even if they don't understand the inner workings of some subjects, through sheer instinct alone they will be able to solve even the most difficult scientific formulas. Can only be used once. Anyone can read it.

>[Technological Mastery Tome]-[50 000SP]: upon reading this tome, the user becomes a master at tinkering with old and new technology alike.

>[Vehicle Mastery Tome]-[50 000SP]: upon reading this tome, the user becomes a master at piloting a vehicle of their choosing. However, this does not mean they know how it works or how to repair it. Anyone can read it.

>>[WEAPONRY]<<

>[Low-Calibre Gun]-[10 000SP]: a low-calibre gun of the user's choosing. Can be a handgun, a hand cannon or anything else so long as its calibre remains "low". Comes with infinite ammo but cannot have its magazine removed.

>[Medium-Calibre Gun]-[15 000SP]: a medium-calibre gun, the model is completely dependable on the user's preference. Comes with infinite ammo but cannot have its magazine removed.

>[High-Calibre Gun]-[20 000SP]: a high-calibre gun of any model. Comes with infinite ammo but cannot have its magazine removed.

>[Nichirin Sword]-[25 000SP]: a high-quality katana from the world of Demon Slayer/Kimetsu no Yaiba. Due to the nonexistence of demons within this world, the katana has become exceedingly capable of vanquishing even non-solid Creatures of Grimm. The colour of the blade changes depending on its wielder. Comes with its own sheathe!

>[Gunblade]-[30 000SP]: a gun-sword hybrid that fires decently powerful revolver rounds into the enemy. From the world of Final Fantasy 8.

>[The Round Table]-[50 000SP]: a large, cross-shaped shield that once acted as the table around which heroes gathered. From the world of Fate, this shield when used properly can block almost any attack. However, can be overpowered by strong enough force.

>[Dragon Slayer]-[60 000SP]: a massive hunk of metal attached to a strong handle calling itself a sword. The blade is made from extremely durable metal and extremely heavy. From the world of Berserk, this weapon brings as much pain as it does PTSD.

>[Moonlight Greatsword]-[100 000SP]: an indestructible, iridescent lime green sword capable of slaying even the toughest beasts. Unbreakable, indestructible but very heavy and difficult to use. The sword can excrete a great amount of Aura-like energy despite being an object and not a living organism. This energy can take the shape of a crescent ark or a beam, destroying most objects in its path. A weapon from the FromSoftware games.

>[BFG 9000]-[200 000SP]: a powerful weapon capable of firing green-coloured projectiles that can kill hundreds of enemies close to it. From the world of Doom, this weapon is extremely heavy and has large recoil and slow firing speed. Recommended to use it sparingly as it does not discriminate between allies and foes.

>[Sword of Rupture: Ea]-[250 000SP]: a weapon from the Fate series. A sword from before the age of swords capable of piercing heaven itself with its immensely powerful piercing attacks. At full power, it can even spear through a large desert.

>[Gravitational Beam Emitter]-[300 000]: an extremely powerful handgun from the world of Blame!. Due to the human physiology of Evans Brimir, the gun uses the user's Aura instead of other kinds of energy to fire a variable-yield graviton beam from its tip. The gravitational beam is coloured red and pushes all matter aside, upon the disappearance of which the matter flows back and creates a powerful explosion. However, due to the... God-slaying nature of a few weapons, the gravitational emitter cannot destroy absolutely everything.

>[Blades of Chaos]-[500 000]: a pair of short but wide swords melted into long unbreakable chains. A god-killing weapon that is effective across a short and medium range. Sets enemies ablaze upon hit. From the world: God of War.

>[The Crucible Blade]-[666 666SP]: a large energy sword capable of cutting down quite literally anything in its path, regardless of its strength and durability. From the world of Doom, this blade is the very same once forged and used by the Doom Slayer. Due to its nature as an energy weapon, the sword can be easily stored in its dormant state.

>[Stormbreaker]-[700 000SP]: a divine weapon forged in the heart of a dwarf forge with the help of a literal star. God-killer grade axe-hammer hybrid from the world of MCU. The weapon can also be used to summon the Bifrost Bridge, a superluminal means of transport. The weapon can be called upon at any time by its wielder.

>[The Death Note]-[800 000SP]: a black notebook with the words DEATH NOTE embezzled into its cover. Anyone's name written on one of its pages will spell their demise within a minute. The writer is capable of specifying the time and the method of the target's death. From a world bearing the same name, Death Note.

>[The Infinity Gauntlet]-[1 000 000SP]: a golden gauntlet capable of wielding the six of the most powerful weapons in the universe. Six stones of varying colour and power it does not come with. These have to be purchased separately but can be used without the gauntlet being complete. Each of the stones costs as much as the gauntlet and without them, the gauntlet is just a fancy glove. From the world of Marvel, this is the most powerful weapon.

>[Spear of Longinus]-[2 000 000SP]: an unparalleled crimson spear that, in theory, can kill and imprison anything and anyone. Can be controlled from a distance and can almost freely change its weight and size like Yeoui from God of Highschool. Indestructible by any means. It's the most powerful weapon anyone can acquire, period. Augmented from the world of Evangelion.

>>[TRANSPORT]<<

>[Motorcycle]-[2000SP]: a simple motorcycle of any model, colour and brand that the user chooses. Has infinite fuel but isn't indestructible and can be totalled by a reckless driver. Cannot be bought with weapon emplacements.

>[Automobile]-[5000SP]: an automotive vehicle of any brand, colour and model. From an old Skoda to a brand new Lamborghini. Cannot be bought with weapon emplacements and cannot include military-grade equipment. Only applies to generally available cars and not tanks and such. Infinite gas, still not indestructible.

>[Tank]-[15 000SP]: a tank of any model, brand and design that the user demands. Infinite ammo and gas but quite difficult to manage alone. Still not indestructible~

>[Commercial Aircraft]-[20 000SP]: a variety of commercially available aircraft, including helicopters and planes. Infinite fuel but extremely difficult to pilot alone, as well as generally impossible to use without a runway. Not indestructible, sometimes even fragile.

>[Fighter Jet]-[25 000SP]: a military-grade aircraft death machine of any design the user chooses. Infinite fuel, the missiles respawn after a few seconds of being fired and the ammo for the machine guns is infinite. Still not indestructible.

>[Warship]-[50 000SP]: a highly sophisticated military-grade naval vessel of any design the user chooses. The fuel and armament are infinite, however, it's impossible to fully operate one without a crew. Not indestructible but with the right design and crew, some might as well be. Does not include submarines!

>>[MISCELLANEOUS]<<

>[Almighty Scroll]-[0SP]: a free item given to the user, and only the user, at the start of their "game". It's used to monitor their stats and browse the shop! Can only be used by the user and is bound to them, meaning it cannot be lost.

>[Sexy Costume]-[1000SP]: a sexy costume of the buyer's design that can be worn by their partner any number of times to slightly increase the amount of SP received from sexual intercourse. However, its size cannot be adjusted so the costume has to be bought again for each partner.

>[Tracer]-[5000SP]: a simple tracing gadget that can help the user trail someone over great distances. Automatically connected to the Almighty Scroll. Can be destroyed but has infinite battery and range.

>[TARDIS Satchel]-[10 000SP]: a magical-like satchel that can somehow store virtually an endless number of items, however, these items have to be from the SEX SHOP and nowhere else, otherwise the satchel will just spit them back out. It can store anything, even vehicles and large objects. The colour of this item can be picked when being bought. Can only be bought once, however, cannot be lost or used by other people. A compensation for Evans Brimir not receiving an inventory.

>[Automaton]-[15 000SP]: a highly intelligent, programmable automaton that will obey its master's command. Genderless in nature and highly versatile in their uses, these robots can be taught to do virtually anything with a little bit of time.

>[Homeward Bone]-[20 000SP]: a pair of items, two bones to be precise that can teleport the one wielding one bone to the other. Both bones are destroyed upon use, but their range is virtually unlimited even across multi-dimensional space. An augmented version of the item from the Dark Souls trilogy.

>[Wedding Ring]-[50 000SP]: a ring that mortally binds the one wearing it to the person who put it on their finger. A vow of absolute trust and love, the one wearing it cannot betray or fall in love with anyone else except the person who put it on their finger. The wearer will also become obedient and in some cases even obsessed. Cannot be taken off.

'Oh, so you are called... Almighty Scroll, how quaint.'

Evans had no idea that he just sounded like a certain bitchy, white-haired princess now, but that didn't matter to him. He noted the ludicrous prices and power of some of the weapons he could have at his disposal. The very strongest weapon he currently saw was the Spear of Longinus, a fucking GOD-SLAYING SPEAR!

Who and what the fuck would he need that against?! He only later realised that he could actually afford to buy a fucking FIGHTER JET! A GODDAMN FIGHTER JET! Can you believe that?! From having sex, he can have a fighter, fucking, jet! ...well, that's cool and all but he doesn't know how to fly it. Not to mention that kind of thing is bound to attract a shit ton of attention. Instead, what Evans focused on was the TARDIS Satchel.

He wasted almost no time pressing BUY on it, considering it would be a massive help in storing all of the shit he would buy from the SEX SHOP in the not so distant future. He thought it would, like, be delivered to him or something. But no, it literally materialised from thin air right in front of him and in the colour he picked before buying it. It was blue, like the actual TARDIS from Doctor Who. A very niche reference if Evans had to say so himself.

[SEX POINTS: 33 400]

He still had quite a few points to spend, and he could save up for more expensive shit like that Gravitational Beam Emitter which by itself sounded fucking badass, he also thought of the possibility to farm SEX POINTS. The way to that was lying right next to him on the bed.

So, Evans bought the following...

1x [Addiction Pill]-[10 000SP] - 10 000SP

2x [Libido Pill]-[2500SP] - 5000SP

2x [Virility Pill]-[5000SP] - 10 000SP

8x [Strengthening Pill]-[1000SP] - 8 000SP

[SEX POINTS: 400]

After his purchase of a bunch of multi-coloured pills was complete, Evans was left with a measly 400 SEX POINTS to spend on pretty much nothing. Still, at least he now had shit to eat and grow stronger with. He immediately brought out the Virility and Libido pills, noting their white and pink colour respectively before popping them down the hatch all at the same time.

-[Libido: C- > C > C+]

-[Virility: B- >B > B+]

Those were pretty nice upgrades to his otherwise pretty abysmal stats. He had a plan in mind that he wasn't sure was going to work, but, he wanted to focus his efforts on farming as many SEX POINTS as he could before spending them on anything big. To do this, he would need to upgrade his stats which would also make him not just stronger, but more approachable by women, which in turn would lead to more SP and so on.

Next, he brought out the Strengthening Pills and, while unsure of how to properly use them, still decided to swallow all of them at the same time, mentally praying that the boosts would be given to the STATS he wanted to.

-[Charisma: B+ > A- >A > A+ > S-]

-[Speed: E+ > D- > D]

-[Durability: D- > D > D+]

Satisfied with the changes done to his STATS, specifically his Charisma, Evans hoped that when Yang wakes up he'll be able to get her to take the Addiction Pill. He knew it was morally wrong, but... it was for the greater good, no?

Yeah... Evans Brimir was by no means a good person, but he was not a villain. He needed, no, he WANTED a way to get stronger, and even if he had to turn Yang into a cum bucket, he was willing to take it. Although a much more preferred alternative would be romantically falling in love with one another, then he could buy her that Wedding Ring without bad conscience...

"Hmm..."

It would seem as if that train of thought would have to wait as the curvy girl in question began to wake up...

...

...

...

"Mornin' sunshine~"