[Hippity Hoppity - 1]
[Evans Brimir POV]
'Ello, dear Reader-sama! It is, the main protagonist of this convolutedly dumb but kind of fun story! I was born on XX.XX.XXXX and have officially turned 16! Ain't that simply amazing? Let's see, let's see... I'm a student at Signal Academy, you know, it's like a secondary school for Huntsmen and Huntresses, except you actually HAVE to go to an academy afterwards to be eligible for a license. So really it was more like a gymnasium, only with a lot more... guns.
This ain't no America but it sure feels like it...
I was in my third year now, there were four in total by the way, and... wow, my semblance is certainly something alright! But it's not the time for that yet, now is it? No, you use, only a month ago were we given the monumental task of... getting our own weapons... Yeah, that went about as well as you'd expect. I am very clunky with machines, luckily, I live with my grandpa and he actually owns a gunshop, aka the one safe haven for all huntsmen and huntresses to get their shit repaired/made.
Now, I like doing shit on my own okay? But goddamn it designing and making a cool weapon that's actually more like two weapons in one is HARD mate! The mechanics and all that jazz is something way beyond what my tiny peanut brain can handle. I'm training to fight dammit not assemble puzzles! So I asked my old man to help me out, and he agreed! His name is Gary. Gary loves making weapons and me being his only grandson sort of gives me a VIP ticket to the best shit he has.
So we worked together, and by we, I mean him while I was pretending I understand what he was saying when he showed me this cool artwork of Picasso only to say that it's actually the blueprints for my gun. Fuck.
Wanna guess what my weapon ended up becoming? Well, hear me out I know that you are going to complain but... it's a sword. Yeah, the most rudimentary fucking weapon since UNGA BUNGA CHAKALAKA people BUT as is the norm in Remnant—for some fucking reason—my swôrd is also a gún. Not any gun though, oh no, the Author wouldn't be satisfied with just that garbage.
My shortsword cleaver can turn into a hand cannon railgun.
I'm not shitting you. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MONEY I CAN SAVE ON GUNPOWDER! Although granted I actually have to leave this piece of clunky metal plugged into the wall socket overnight for it to charge. Ya know, electromagnetism!
...Look dude neither you nor I will be able to understand this science crap even if the Author explains it so just roll with it. 'Kay? Cool, you are a good reader! Aaaaanyways...
So I got this cool railgun sword thingamajig, I named it... Damocles. Damocles is a character who appears in an anecdote commonly referred to as "the Sword of Damocles", an allusion to the imminent and ever-present peril faced by those in positions of power. Yes, I just looked that up, eat my ass.
Damocles fires these tungsten projectiles that my grandad totally didn't steal from The Expanse shut the fuck up, and it can pierce things. Shocker. The problem is that the mechanism relies heavily on electromagnetism, which in turn can destabilize Dust, ya know, magic elemental powder and shiz. Essentially the gun can only fire basic metal projectiles, which sucks ass but it can do so at many times the speed and power as even a high-calibre sniper rifle. Precision is a thing I suppose but it's mostly my shitty aim that holds the gun back. I need to get used to the LUDICROUS amounts of recoil on this bitch. It literally blows my arm back!
The problem is probably the fact that it's a gun, something I can wield in one hand while it has enough power to warrant people holding it like a rifle. I call these people: fucking pussies. I will train my hand to fire this bastard of a weapon with just one hand! But how? Well, the plan was originally to masturbate with weights strapped to my arm.
But the discovery of my semblance got in the way of that.
We finally get to the fun tidbit, huh? Well, allow me to introduce you horny fucks that only clicked on this book because of the cover to my magnificent semblance! I call it the...
SEX SYSTEM!
...Yeah the name is as boring as every other system manga out there buuuuuuuuuuut the power boost and benefits are second to none! I think... Maybe. Possibly. ANYWAY! This niche gamer interface basically allows me to get SP, Sex Points but that sounds shit so I call it SP for short. I get SP for, you guessed it, having sexual intercourse with a woman. Or a man. But I am straight so there ain't no dick coming in my ass, no way.
The system comes with this cool contraception ability, and that is that should my coomies fertilize a girl, I can fucking yoink that shit and turn it into SP without any repercussions. Yes. I am amazing. You may applaud. The system also gave me a few cool perks since I got it, like a big boost to my appearance, better body, bigger dick (not that I needed it) and uh, what? Better eyesight? ...I mean cool but... okay?
Back to the point, pun intended, I can trade SP for rewards, be they physical or... metaphysical? Basically stat boosts. There are various factors that determine the amount of SP I get, like how many people are participating in the orgy, how many times I and they came and so on.
I, the almighty Evans Brimir even managed to snag myself a hot blonde GF! ...You already know who I am talking about, right? Yeah, it's the lilac-eyed beauty with MASSIVE titties and a huge ass! I am naturally talking about Yang Xiao Long! More on this though...
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"In the next chapter."
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//I am posting so much garbage it almost hurts. Anyway, don't take this story too seriously, it's mostly a smut-ridden hentai novel with some semblance, hehehe, of combat thrown in.
NO GENDERBENDING FUCK OFF//