2 – The Seven Gospels 2
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS UNFAIRNESS?! I KICKED THEIR ASSES BACK TO THE FIRST HEAVEN AND I'M THE ONE WHO'S BAIT?! DRAMA GRANDPA, YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A BURIAL AGENCY MEMBER? I VALUE MY LIFE AND YOU WANT ME TO ACT AS BAIT, LOSE MY JOB AND FUCKING EITHER BE HUNTER OR DIE WITH MY NECK ON A SILVER PLATTER IN FRONT THE DEVILS?!"
A rather angry and long no pause rant by Kirei came.
The cardinal smiled.
"Oh. Didn't I mention, the winner gets to be bait, we need someone strong for that position you kno~w?" He slurred the last part as he picked his ears.
"You didn't! The unfairness of it all–" So we mute him for now.
The cardinal looked towards Eve and gave a small thumbs up which she returned. A small glint in their eyes.
The traitors.
Adam smiled wryly and shook his head at the childishness of the 3. Abel and Cain were rejoicing at the fact that they weren't bait.
Junia was just happy she wasn't even actually fighting for real either way. A shadow doesn't punch people in the face. They just stay there and exist, gathering as much info as they can and relaying it to their sides, or those that are willing to exchange.
She finished her small monologue and nodded her head sagely.
Kirei was still ranting about the unfairness of it all.
In the end, time passed peacefully with Kirei muted.
(SE)
A week later.
Adam woke up. He quickly readied himself and did the essentials for the morning before heading straight for the ritual place.
This was how a knight was.
Eve woke up and yawned before doing her daily stretches, then she took a shower and brushed her teeth. Dried and styled her hair. Ate breakfast and took some mints. She kissed a picture of Adam on her wall and then went out of her dorm, greeting everyone on the way out with such grace that you wouldn't think of her as the type to kiss her crush's picture.
She actually only goes that far. Not once has she masturbated, hence Ms. Zero at Sex Education.
She's as fierce as a lioness when it came to being an Abbey, but as clueless as a hamster when it comes to matters of reproduction. It's just how she was raised.
Abel woke up and kicked Cain off their bed. The 2 siblings had a oil and water type of chemistry during ordinary life, but as Executor and Templar, they complemented and worked together like gears and cogs.
Cain's heavy offense and Abel's impregnable defense. The 2 were usually always paired up together on missions if they weren't on solo or groups.
They each did their routines, Cain being a bit slower. Eventually, they found their way out of their apartment and to the ritual place.
Enoch was a very systematic person. He woke up at 6:30, did his daily work out and until 8:30, ate his breakfast and waited for digestion until 9:00, then he would shower until 9:30, then he would dress up properly and garnish, or rather very specifically dressed himself until 10:00. Then he would do the rest of his days as an Exorcist. But, today. He eventually had to go to the ritual place.
Only thing was that Junia was waiting outside his doors. Junia was his childhood friend from the same orphanage. Thus, they were quite close.
"Enoch. Hello" Junia said without much of her usual flair.
Enoch immediately knew.
"You're nervous?" He asked patting the blonde in the head.
"Yeah. I mean. It's, what if it fails and we become a pseudo instead of a demi? Won't we lose ourselves and be dominated by the heroic spirit? I'm scared of that..." She replied. Her nervousness much more obvious.
Enoch fixed his glasses.
"Don't worry, I'll double check the ritual for you, okay?" He tried to placate her, it worked but only to a certain extent.
Junia nodded and they both went on their way to the ritual place.
Lastly.
Kirei.
"THE UNFAIRNESS OF IT ALL–"
Let's mute him for a bit. So, Kirei was unusual, being a Burial Agency member does that. They live knowing that they can die like ants being stepped on when given a mission. They all strived to live and him even more because he had things to live for, so the unfairness of it a–
I mean, so. Yes.
He readied himself for the day, making sure to make it knows that he was unsatisfied with the you-know-what of it all.
Eventually, he found time to lay down on his bathtub and complain about the you-know-what of it all again, with the bonus of shower thoughts.
Then, he went to get dressed in his Burial Agency uniform which was a holy sacrament in of itself, they value their lives so they were suited with a walking fortress. All hard enough to resist low to mid class magic and anything short of a missile would probably not damage it.
A rocket would hurt, yes. But, not damage the clothing.
All of them were given to the 8 ever changing members of the Burial Agency.
The counted ones. Burial Agency had more than 8 members, but they all die so fast that the church basically only counted those who survived for a year. They were given the walking fortress. Those who die from the counter would be a big loss, but they rarely die in the first place as they'd rather sacrifice an entire city to live.
That's the mindset of a member of the Burial Agency. They would probably fight with any Shirou in any timeline. Heck, even Kerry.
For them, it's not "one or the many" it's "I'll run and let those many plus one die so fuck yeah!"
The church allowed it. Hah. What do those civilians matter against their group of elites who literally makes sure that not everyone gets eaten by a vampire or stray devil taken care of too late.
Can't trust those Devils. Territorial shits.
On another note. Any other subdivision had a pretty low mortality rate as most of their mission would coincide with what they do best.
Templars for guarding and providing stallment during something big.
Chivalric Order for raids and attacking during something big.
Executors for hunting troublesome Devil worshippers or anything mundane in the supernatural world. Mostly wanted magicians or something.
Exorcist who takes care of ghosts and Devils if given the chance.
Abbey's who acts like supplementary backups. Thus are good at mostly everything.
Shadows who get info and relay them or exchange them for others, also assassination of human targets. Not supernatural, but human targets.
Meanwhile, Burial Agency had to deal with the unfairness of it all.
Vampires crowding and controlling a city. Zombies infection. Devil worshippers sacrificing innocents for Cthulhu as weird as that was. Stray Devils that eat humans for snacks. Fallen Angels being pricks. Even stopping an international organization hell bent on destroying the world was part of their workload.
Good thing the pay was good. It might've not been mentioned, but Kirei lived on a mansion.
He had about a billion dollars on his account. And he was pretty filthy rich.
After finishing the final touch ups, like... writing on his diary about the–
(SE)
The Seven arrived at the ritual place. It was an underground space where there were multiple chairs for the upper echelon to talk and whatnot.
It resembled a court. A justice court.
"Welcome. Seven Gospels!" The cardinal started, sighs could be heard from the background.
In front of him was a weird machine. It looked all futuristic, but one could tell it had its roots on Magic.
"As of now, you seven have officially moved from your specific subdivisions to a new one! The Seven Gospels!" He repeated the Gospel part with the same vigor as before.
"The unfairness of it–"
"And so, let us start the ritual as I'm sure most of the onlookers are pretty much asking me to hasten up. Don't worry, it won't hurt" He added the last bit with a serious face, therefore everyone could tell he wasn't lying.
Enoch raised his arms.
"Yes?" The cardinal asked.
"Can I double check the ritual?" He asked glancing at Junia, who just tightly held on to his clothes.
"Sure. Whatever, doesn't really matter as long as you don't touch anything" The cardinal waved his hands and took some things from somewhere.
Time passed and the cardinal quickly stood up and held a curious rainbow crystal at hand.
"This is a... something crystal... it's the juice for that machine. Just get inside, I can't really dramatize something I'm not used to" He sighed and played around with the crystal at the tips of his fingers.
After a few more minutes, the order was decided.
"First. Junia, as you already have a pre-determined location, you can go first" The cardinal added, placing the crystal inside the slot and waiting for Junia to enter.
Junia was nervous. She really can't get the chance of being pseudo instead out. She looked at Enoch and wanted to at least say something she wanted to say before she probably might disappear forev–
"Don't be afraid. We're all with you Junia..." Enoch smiled and reassured her.
"E-Enoch..." She looked at the other who gave her a warm smile.
Kirei spat at the ground
"Be pseudoed by a wrestling maniac goddess for all I care" He said with a warm tone betraying his words.
...
Quetzalcoatl stirred in the throne of heroes, but she wasn't getting summoned for reasons I won't even bother to state.
Junia found her courage and stepped into the machine.
A bright light encompassed all, every onlooker from the upper echelon clenched their old butts in anticipation.
This was the moment. This was history. This was the Holy Church's first ever step into retaking everything the Human way.
This. Was. The Start of the Seven Gospels.
Junia felt it. The modified machine that only summoned the saint graph instead of the soul which makes pseudo or all 2 including a body which was a servant.
She felt the memories of a dark skinned, skull masked, purple haired cutie who's whole body was poison.
The light dissipated and she went out. Her steps were quiet and light, her blonde hair had started to turn purple at the tips.
"J-Junia?" Enoch asked wearily. Kirei had his hands at a black key, ready to throw and run incase something bad happened.
"Servant... my servant saint graph is the Assassin Hassan of the Serenity..." Junia said. Junia Park. Junia... Park.
Was successful.
"WOOOOOOOOOHOOOO! THAT FUCKING VAMPIRE DIDN'T LIE!" The cardinal shouted and raised his arms up in the air and did a mini guts pose dance.
Everyone came close to Junia, except for Kirei, he knew what poison smelled.
"W-Wait! Don't come too close, I'm... my body is all poison so... I'm sorry." She said apologetically. It was sad that she couldn't mingle yet until she learned to control her dosage to a point where she doesn't kill by touch.
Enoch smiled and patted her in the head.
...
"ENOOOOOOOCH"
[Technical Difficulties]
(SE)
"Ok. Thank goodness we had Eve nearby who is so amazing as a healer than she managed to cure the poison fast enough. Now, next was Eve herself" The cardinal continued. Now that Junia was successful, everyone was excited.
They wanted to feel how being a Demi Servant was like but sadly they weren't the Seven Gospels, so they could only watch.
Eve, unlike Junia wasnt really ever worried. She was confident in not being pseudoed because she was Eve Nietze. The Ms. Zero at Sex Education. Or not really because of that but the point is something similar.
She entered the machine and a bright light, same as before came to blind everyone.
Eve felt it. A pink haired warrior queen, one who excelled in... riding... men. Having sex and was plain an actual... whore. Who chased after Cu Chulainn and did all sorts of bad stuff and she was cute and was perfect body wise and... what?
Eve came out with a cringe that matched the daily expression of Kirei.
"S-Servant is... Rider Medb..." Eve said a bit not alright.
...
"It's the whore right?" Kirei added salt to the wound of silence.
Eve suddenly got angry, and with a burst of speed definitely not hers normally, she summoned a HORSE WHIP and proceeded to smach Kirei in the head making him FLY and crash at the wall.
Servants at E are already pretty terrifying.
"S-She sent Kirei flying... Wow. THAT Kirei of the Burial Agency" A background upper echelon voice reminded everyone who was just sent flying.
Kirei was famous like that. Well, used to be. These Seven Gospels were about to wreck shit up soon.
Also, Kirei was saying something about the unfa–
(SE)
"You get the deal, next up is you Cain." The cardinal reminded, glancing at his actually grandchild Eve.
Kinda don't want her to get the saint graph of Medb, but he knew, he knew because the vampire shit gave him the list of the entire summonable saint graph.
He knew how ridiculously useful it was, especially for something like their mission.
But...
But, a slut? How can his Eve, oh sweet Eve who was dumber than even bricks when it came to sex education, be even remotely connected to that slut?
The cardinal knew something was going on with the way the whole thing was. Considering how hundred faces would be much more useful for Junia, but she was given Serenity.
He would get to the bottom of this. Probably.
Cain entered the machine with all the excitement he had and the bright light happened.
He felt... like he was some sort of angry immortal thing. Like he did 13 or something labors because he killed his wife because of some stupid shitty step mom. He felt like he became a God at the end and he felt like swinging a swordaxe. And having something cute on top of his shoulder.
He came out. His hair noticeably messier and his skin was a touch grayer.
"Servant saint graph is Berserker Heracles" He said with as little words as he could manage. Anymore and he felt like bellowing.
A ripe silence.
Heracles. Hercules. Everyone knew him.
Everyone knew how busted he was.
So, as respect for this half god, they didn't cheer and silently accepted that they've won whatever part of the globe he was being sent on.
"You look like a homeless bum, hah" Kirei broke the silence.
Only to be met with a literal punch in the face that sent him flying again.
This time, it was probably more powerful. It's Heracles after all.
Eve quickly had doubts of whether she should heal Kirei or not. She healed him anyways.
Despite how he was, Kirei was still like the younger brother of them all.
The really annoying younger brother that you would want to punch 10 times out of 5.
Kirei muttered something as he nearly passed out.
"Un..." He grumbled
"Un?" Eve asked
"Fai–" Ok no.
(SE)
"Go, go, let's go, let's go, Dagospel." The cardinal cheered with a "Go Seven Gospel!" finger he got somewhere.
He was prepared.
"You're next, Abel!" He shouted.
Abel stepped inside the machine. He guessed he would get something like Galahad.
"Say hello to Galahad version 2~" He smugly said. He removed his armor, revealing his small stature that anyone still doesn't get how he is somehow the First Shield.
The same bright lights.
He saw himself as... not Galahad. Black hair, the Big Fool of Owari, Demon King of the Seventh Heaven. Mystic Killer. The Warlord of Japan. King of Innovation!
Abel came out, his blonde hair longer and black at the tips. In fact, he didn't really look the same, he had red eyes now.
Kirei immediately stood up from his downed position, took a black key and stood in front of the others.
He recognized it. The feeling of dripping bloodlust.
"Why... Why did I get Archer Nobunaga ODAAAAAAAAA" Abel cried out to the Gods.
Everyone turned quiet. They glanced at Kirei, then to Abel.
"What a waste of home field advantage..." A smart background upper echelon said.
Kirei refused to make a snarky comment, he wasn't in the mood to have all that bloodlust directed at him.
"Seriously... the unfa–"
Oh. Sorry. That was Abel.
(SE)
Enoch was next. Compared to the others, he had low expectations as without a doubt physically he was the 2nd weakest. Junia was pretty much useless in an actual fight.
He kept up with smarts and tricks. But, from a pure raw to raw, he was the 2nd weakest. Thus, he didn't expect much and just entered.
And the heavens shook.
As if. God said. "Fine."
A bright light.
He was a king. A mage. Had so many wives and had... 72 Devils as his familiar. No more words to explain and express how stupidly shocked Enoch was.
He came out, his red hair black at the tips.
"Servant saint graph is... Caster Solomon"
...
...
...
'He wasn't the main character though.'
A smart upper echelon thought.
Soon. The whole underground shook with cheers.
Hercules and Solomon.
"God is blessing us from wherever he is now." A background said
"Indeed, it seems he agrees with our plan to wipe the Devil's influence" The cardinal agreed
"Ah~ Mage King Solomon. As our Sevem Gospel" Another background upper echelon said.
"Can it get any better than that?" A mysterious voice said, due to this the jinx was reversed and became a blessing.
It was none other than Eve.
Who currently had EX Luck because it was the easiest parameter to bond with.
Kirei cringed.
"The hell, why don't they just send you to Japan?" He said, he was close to saying it again.
"Oh. I got these things."
He pointed at his hands, or showed his hands, specifically at Kirei.
Yes. He had the 10 Rings of Solomon as it was technically the easiest skill to bond with.
I mean, it was literally just 10 Rings.
"They allow me to control any magic cast towards me or learn any spells, fast too" He further added.
Kirei was cringing and salty at the same time. He was experiencing the after effects of a 100 SQ roll at FGO.
"...I won't even..." He started.
"Complain about the..." He continued.
"Absolutely superiority of the misfortune counter of mine compared to yours at all..."
(SE)
"Go. Adam. It doesn't matter what you get, you'll always be the fan favourite of the upper echelon and their daughters and granddaughters" The cardinal reassured Adam, who only have a wry smile.
Angry Eve noises somewhere.
He entered and of course, the bright lights.
He saw the fight of a son and a father, he saw the vision of knights sitting on a round table, he saw him lead a country, he saw him... eternally chase a beast for mankind. A true King and a Knight. One who was Once... and the future king.
He came out.
His brown hair, blonde completely.
His brown eyes were green.
His aura was holy and kingly.
"Servant sain graph, Saber Arthur Pendragon" Adam said with all the flair of his charisma.
Natural ones.
Eve felt her inner Medb feel hot down there.
Everyone else was just quiet and wondering if they should even use a Bait in Japan or just straight up challenge the Devils already.
Kirei went out of the premises sometime after hearing Arthur.
Kirei wouldn't come back until an hour later.
(SE)
Kirei came back with a paper on hand. It had a big "I Quit" on it and he walked like he was very angry.
"Kirei!" The cardinal welcomed with all the flair.
Kirei threw the paper down.
"I quit. There's really no need for me to be bait in Japan. I'm going to live, enjoy my cash at my bank account and live completely not caring about the unfairness of it all." He took of his walking fortress.
"You can have that back too" He said as he started to go out again.
The 6 Demi Servants looked at each other.
"K-Kirei. Don't be too sad, you'll get something good too... probably" Eve tried to reassure him. Failing miserably as she can't take her eyes away from Adam.
"Just go in the machine and see what you get, oh and hey look at these rings" Enoch chimed in laughing.
"Kirei. Don't be like that, everyone doesn't always get the good things, like me." Abel added, still a bit salty at his Archer Nobunaga saint graph.
The last to speak was the cardinal.
"Simply put, we're cancelling your bank account if you don't step... Get in the fucking machine. Shinji." He fixed his last sentence to be like that one dad from that anime.
That perked up Kirei.
He valued his money. He doesn't think it's all that great, but everyone says that when they don't have enough.
He sighed and entered the machine. The only class left was Lancer.
He didn't expect much...
Or so he plans to pretend he thinks. Just like Enoch.
He entered the machine... and then bright lights came.
...
...
On the next chapter.
