last good night

No chance, no reset. But I doesn't mean I cannot keep my promise.

The ceremony has ended and Ivan was 6 feet on the ground. The afternoon sky was cloudless and the birds chirped gleefully, with no regard to the mourners. I was left standing with Ivan's parents and my mom, watching as two men filled the hole with soil. With it was Ivan, white roses that his mother bought, and a card signed by our classmates in school.

The twins, Honey, and even Nathan attended the funeral. Our classmates, the school nurse, Ms Kay and the principal were there too. People from the children center and the elderly home were also came and paid their respects.

"I need to go home honey, are you come with me?" My mom asked.

"Can I stay for a while?"

She nodded. "Ofcourse." She gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked away.

"I really wanted to thank you." It was Ivan's mother, she stood beside me and gently wrapped her arms around my shoulders. She didn't cry, she just stood there.

"I wish I was as strong as you are." I told her

"No honey, I'm not that strong. It's just that, I've expected this to happen, I have prepared myself. But I will cry, maybe later, or tomorrow. I'd definitely cry because I'm a mother. A mother should not be burying her child, it should be the other way around. " She looked at me and smiled. "So don't ever die before your mom ok?"

I watched as the men cleaned up and picked their shovels. They murmured a silent condolence and left. Ivan's parents left shortly after but I remained. I sat on the grass and patted the mound where Ivan's body was buried and the tears started flowing once more.

"We weren't able to make it to our seventh date, we didn't even get to plan it. The last was the amusement park on Saturday. I really enjoyed it, I know you did too. I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to that place again. But I'd definitely go back volunteering especially at the children's home, I'd keep reading them stories till they get sick of me.

"Then I'll go the the home for the aged and feed the elderly and sing songs for them, though I won't go back to the dance studio." I let out a chuckle. "I feel stupid talking here by myself but I guess I have an excuse, right?"

I took a deep breath and willed my self to stop the tears. "Here in your grave, I promise to live my life, like yours, with purpose. Although you're no longer physically by my side, you'll always be in heart and remember that I loved you. You're the first guy I ever did so be proud. I know I am."

I stood up and patted my backside, removing the dirt from my pants.

"Goodnight, goodbye, sleep tight and I'll see you soon."