I won't be selfish

After skating for awhile, they returned to the leisure area.

It was an inside skating rink; therefore, it was slightly heated in the leisure area where customers could eat at a small restaurant and leave their belongings. Earlier, they dropped their belongings behind her. The restaurant carefully reserves the seats of its customers.

He didn't pay much attention to this earlier, but this place is high class. He feels uncomfortable in places like this. But it must be the same for Ki too, and that's why she asked him to come along.

The moment they returned to their seats, Sumire ordered for them. While they waited for their orders, he allowed himself to stare at her.

'I have feelings for Ki.' But, he avoids being too obvious about it. It would be bad if others noticed, and she became the target of jealousy.

He is already aware that people think they are a couple and knows so many girls despise her because they are close. But nobody knows that he likes her. He recalled what that woman who had just confessed said to him.

'She is stringing you along.' Hah, what foolish assumptions. Even if Ki has done that, he will welcome it. He already has to hold back how strongly he feels towards her Ki; shouldn't that satisfy the rest of them?

His gaze fell towards Sumire; he could not help but stare. No matter where she is, whether she is in a professional environment like school or in the headquarters, in contrast to a less formal setting like now, she looks perfect.

Ki is beautiful, but it is not the type of beauty that people would notice immediately. She has a different type of beauty that people only realize after looking at her for a long time.

Sumire noticed him staring playfully and stuck her tongue out at him, which caused Mamoru's cheeks to turn pink as he looked ahead instead.

'This is bad.' Ki looks a bit different than usual today. Normally the girl seldom dresses up in bright clothes. But today, she wore a winter off-shoulder purple-colored dress. That color looks good on her; it matches her jewel-colored eyes.

Now that he thought about it, she wore a yellow dress the other day, right? That style looked slightly more sophisticated. He does not know what surprises him more, the fact that she owns clothes like that or the fact that she wore it.

He knew that Ki not only avoided wearing such bright-colored garments due to her financial situation but because she felt it did not suit her.

'I am gloomy and depressing; such bright clothes would be wasted on a person like me.'

She seems a lot more cheerful recently. But he cannot let his guard down. Moreover, he felt uneasy whenever she wore long sleeve garments.

"Ki, give me your arm."

Sumire, who was happily eating, suddenly froze, and his gaze darkened. He already confirmed his fears with that single glance. "Show me."

The girl hesitantly extended her arm out across the table, and he rolled her sleeve up slightly to reveal a few dark-colored bruises and cuts. Fresh cuts one would make with a razor or something sharp.

"Ki, do you want to stay over for awhile?"

"Ah," the girl seemed flustered. "You don't have to worry, Ru. I-I will be careful."

"You seem to be doing this unconsciously in your sleep. It's a bit dangerous.

"But I-"

Mamoru squeezed her hands. "I'm sorry, it's because I have been busy recently. I wrapped up all my work yesterday. You can stay over for awhile, Ki."

"Thank you, Ru."

It's truly dangerous leaving her alone. She must have done these scars in her sleep; that's even more dangerous than sleepwalking. Then again, sleepwalking is dangerous, too; last time, she slept walk and almost jumped off a bridge. It was a good thing he was working late that day and saw her.

Ki can't swim, so she would have died if she fell into the river.

"You're welcome."

He isn't Yuhi. There is a limit to what he can do for her. But she needs somebody to stay by her side.

It is something that only a few people know about, but Ki is suicidal. She has frequently tried to commit suicide as for the reasons why, the severe mental trauma she experienced as a child, the accident, and other factors. Either way, she needs someone with her.

"With your debut preparations, you should be busy. Are you still able to compose for the other guys?" Mamoru decided to swiftly change the topic as he massaged her wrist.

Even though she gained this scar a few days ago, it must still hurt. Scars take awhile to heal, but he can ease her pain a little.

"It's okay. I can manage. It's easy for me to compose tunes for them. The music comes to me so naturally."

"It means you have strong bonds with them; that's good."

"But uh Ru, h-how do you turn down a confession?"

Mamoru tilted his head, puzzled at her question. "Just say no; you have turned people down before, right?"

Ki is popular with guys, even if her reputation is not good. Many look past that; no only want her for her beauty, not her personality. So people have confessed to her before. He has frequently had people approach him to confirm whether he is dating Ki or not. Those people confess to her on the same day after asking him.

So it means they are clearly not sincere towards her. But watching her shy attitude now.

"Did one of them confess to you?"

By them, he is referring to the guys in nanairofeather; only they would make Ki behave this way. "Daiki?" Mamoru guessed.

"Y-yes."

Of course, it's that one. The other guys have more patience and seem satisfied with the current situation. No, they probably have their own fair share of problems. Seeing Ki fidgeting nervously and blushing, though.

"Are you going to accept?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I only respect Daiki-sama as a singer. Ru, you should know this very well, right? But when I was younger, I had a weak constitution. Whenever I walked for a long time frame or even half an hour, I would get tired easily. During that time, I heard Daiki-sama's singing."

"I see."

"His songs are wonderful; they saved me. But those feelings are not love. After all, the one I like is probably still Yuhi."

"Ki, you know Yuhi is actually in town for awhile."

"I know."

"You don't want to see him."

Sumire laughed weakly. "I am afraid if I do meet him, I will cling to him. I won't want to let him go." She trailed off. "Daiki-sama knows about Yuhi and me, but he still confessed. It must have taken him a lot of courage. That's why I want to give him a proper response."

"Since it's you, Ki, you should use music to solve this."

"Music?"

"For you, music is the best way to express your feelings. You're still writing their solo songs, right? Why don't you respond using the song your planning to write for him?"

Sumire laughed. "That's exactly like you, Ru. Mm, I'll do that." She trailed off. "A-also, it's okay. It doesn't hurt much anymore."

Mamoru shook his head. "It's important to do this."

"You worry about me too much, Ru. I will be fine even if I am alone."

"No, I already promised you a long time ago, Ki. I will remain by your side no matter what happens."

"You keep saying cheesy stuff today; careful girls easily fall for those types of lines."

'It definitely won't work on her, though.'

Well this is fine, spending time with her like this, as long as he can remain by her side and watch over her. He won't be selfish and ask for anything more.