1 Chapter 1

A year ago if someone had said my dad was going to die by a lightning strike, i would have laughed in their face. That stuff doesn't happen in real life, its all in books or those poorly edited youtube videos claiming "man got struck by lighting and now has super powers" . It didn't happen in real life and it didn't happen to my dad.

My dad is my hero, he was perfect and i loved him to the ends of the earth. Its always been me and him, my mom died when i was younger. I don't remember her much. I just know that she had short copper red hair, freckles dotted her face like a dot to dot telling you where to draw in order to make my mothers elegant face. Dad never seemed to recover once she died. He never thought of dating someone and so it was the daddy daughter duo. Its hard to believe i am standing here in my black mourning cloths by my fathers casket. My pale face dotted with red splotches from the tears that never seemed to end. The close friends of his shared memories and laughed but i just cried harder. No more late night rootbeer floats, popcorn fights, catching food in our mouth tournaments.it all would be gone.

"Our closing speaker is going to be Marks wonderful daughter, Cassidy." all eyes turned to me and i could feel my throat slowly constricting. I made my way to the pulpit slowly while in the process trying to control my breathing.

"I am cassidy, marks daughter. Most of you have known me my whole life while some of my dad's newer friends dont really. I am a sophomore at the local highschool. My dad and i have always been the perfect duo. As long as i can remember its been pops and myself. We did everything together, smores, fishing, Friday night just dance contests. Not only was he my dad but he was my best friend, my hero and i was his princess. My dad was the best, I never would have thought my dad was so amazing even the lightning couldn't stay away," I let out a shaky emotional laugh. "He was taken before i could realize how wonderful and truly amazing father he was. He was always there for me. Even during the not fun girl problems that he didn't know a clue about. I am always going to miss my dad, I love you dad and i hope you and mom are happy with each other and are proud of me. I love you dad and im always going to miss you." Wiping a tear from my eyes and walk down the long steps towards the casket. Slowly i put my head of the lid around where i felt his head was.

"I love you daddy, please watch over me while i try to figure my way around." leaving my dad with a kiss i turned around and walked away.

"Do you have any relatives that you would prefer to stay with?" my lawyer asked. I sat up a little straighter

"Is it really my choice?" I asked with a little bit of sarcasm.

"Well, no its not but if you want to live with one of your uncles or aunts i will try my best to get you into that home," Mr. paddle smiled at me, his smile was genuine and kind but i felt very strongly like he was just trying to get me to talk.

" Well there is one, but he lives in South Korea," i mumble. Mr. paddle laughs a little.

"So you want to live with Warren?"

"Yes, sir. I've always been close to him."

"What about your friends?"

"Don't have any," I shrugged. I knew what he was trying to do and it wasn't going to work. Warren was my favorite uncle and if i had to live with anyone it would be him.

"All right, ill see what I can do."

C: Warren i have a huge favor to ask of you -- Your favorite niece

W: Cassie! How are you doing, love? What are you doing up isn't it late in america?

C: I am doing as well as i can be. Yes, it is late here but i knew you would be up.

W: Okay, you want to get straight to the point. What favor do you want to ask of me?

C: What makes you think that i want to get straight to the point?

W: You are using Commas. Cassy, you never use commas unless your serious. Spill what do you want?

W: Cassidy? Is this about your father?

C: yes, and no.

W: You want to come stay with me don't you.

C: warren please, i'll never ask for anything again. Please i don't want to stay with anyone else. Your the closest to me. It may seem like a lot but i promise you won't even see me as a burden i'll keep your house clean. Do my chores study hard. Please i am begging you.

W: what about the language?

C: I'll learn. It will take a bit to get the legalities all sorted out and during that time i will rigorously study. I'll be fluent by the time you pick me up from the airport.

W: School? You know the schools here are way ahead right?

C: tutors, ill study a ton here. I will do everything i can to get you to agree to let me stay with you.

W: Okay, ill talk to minjoon about it.

C: Minjoon?

C: whos that?

W: right, she is my girlfriend. We just started dating 3 months ago.

C: you didn't tell me warren?!?!

C: I thought we were close!

W: we are close, love but you were so busy with school i didn't want to distract you.

C: fine.

W: I love talking to you Cassidy but i have to let you go so that i can go to work. Stay strong and ill see what i can do.

C: ok. Love you.

W: Love you too.

I clicked off my phone and flopped back onto the mattress. I hadn't let myself believe that dad was really gone, but as we started packing up everything i realized this wasn't a bad dream that i would wake up from. This was my life and it won't change.

"Cass? You doing okay, honey?" My neighbor janie nocked on the door then walked in. Janie is 20 and is staying with her parents until she can find a school. She has long blonde hair that she has pulled up into a quick messy bun. Her maroon cami has dirt on it and she has sweat pants on. She is so pretty and sometimes if I think hard enough I can imagine her as my older sister. I feel the weight of her sitting on the bed. I close my eyes and imagine that its my dad sitting there, It felt comforting. You need to stop this pity party cassidy. Imagining your dads here wont will him to be there. Lifting myself up i slump into her shoulder.

"Janie i don't know what to do. It's always been me and my dad. Why now am I left alone? Has fate really bored with taking my mother that now she has to take my father. What did I do to deserve this?" Unwilled tears fill the corner of my eyes. I try hard to hold them in but one stray tear slips down my left cheek. Traitor your giving away my emotions I think bitterly to my tears. Janie looks at me with pity in her eyes. I expect her to give me her apologies and condolences. Thats all anyone says to me anyways. Instead she asks, "So I hear your wanting to live with your uncle warren?"

"Yeah, he is the closest uncle to me. Out of anyone that I would want to live with I would prefer him. He treats me like im his daughter and I would rather that happen than someone else treat me like some orphaned niece who needs a place to stay. Warren has always treated me well and that won't change." Janie puts her arm around me as i say this. Pulling my legs up onto the bed I push most of my weight into her.

"What about America, moving is hard and its even harder moving to a entirely different country with different laws, education systems, currency, and language no less," She looks at me when she says this. "I don't want you to jump this. Why are you so eager to live with Warren anyway."

" I am a quick learner. I will pick up the language quickly I'm going to get a tutor while all of this stuff works out so that I can get to where i need to be education wise and I'll figure out that laws." I close my eyes and breath slowly.

"Whats the real reason cassie, you can't fool me," She accuses in a kind tone as she absent mindedly combs through my long red hair.

"Fine, you caught me," I say begrudgingly "My dad and I traveled the country while he was still alive. I have been to every state and I can't live anywhere in the U.S without seeing my dad. Without those memories lingering. I cannot deal with that. I need to get out of this place. It feels like someone has put a bag over my head, i can't breath. I am suffocating here and no matter where i live in the states I will continue suffocating until i become a shell of a person. I have to get out until I can get my thoughts together. I'll come back years later, maybe never. I need to heal. The best place to do that is out of America." I look at janie who has her brows furrowed. She is chewing on her lip as she thinks. I see her eyes light up and a mischievous smile plays on her lips.

" what is that look?" I ask but she just stands up.

"What look?"

"The one you are wearing right now."

"I don't have a look," she says pulling out her phone to check. Her face is composed as ever. "Anyway it is getting late so lets go to bed, Im going to sleep on the floor okay?" A frown tugs my lips she sees it and her face softens.

"It is okay to not be strong and composed, cassie. You know that you don't have to be strong around me. You need to let your emotions out before they drown you." I stare at her for a bit then quickly stand up, tucking away whatever emotion I felt and put on the familiar mask on nothingness.

"I'm going to go brush my teeth. I'll be right back." Janie opens her mouth as if to say something but closes it as I walk out.

I scrub my face until the skin feels like its going to fall of in chunks. The pain feels good though, a reminder that I am still here while the last part of my family is gone. I am still on this wretched earth while my dad I am sure is dancing with my mother. I wonder if they already have forgotten that their daughter is left to fend for herself. I move to my toothbrush and squirt an overabundant amount onto the bristles. The pale blue squirts over the edges, before it can spill onto my hands I shove the brush into my mouth and begin scouring my teeth. I do it with such force that my gums start to bleed but I keep going. My mind drifts into another world. Closing my eyes I continue brushing as hard as I can.

"Cassidy, what are you doing!" Janie yells as she runs into the bathroom. She grabs a tissue and rolls it up. My eyes once foggy now clear look in the mirror. Blood drips down my chin my hand is stained and the sink has streaks of blood and tears racing down into the drain. Janie grabs my toothbrush and throws it away. She puts gauze into my mouth and helps me close it. Tears stream down my face. She grabs me and pulls me to her. Sliding onto the floor I climb into her lap like a small child and cry. She rocks me as she soothingly smooths down my hair. We sit there as I let out all my emotions. She was right I can't let these stay inside. They need to come out. Slowly my breathing slows and becomes steady, my eyes are swollen but I don't care. Darkness crawls into my vision and I realize I am exhausted. Gratefully I welcome the darkness and let it overtake me. I slip into the world of dreams and gladly let reality dissipate into nothing.