4 Chapter 4. Joy and sorrow
It has now been a week since I 'woke up' and regained my sense of touch, smell, taste and hearing because of that blue light.
Since that day I had a lot of things to process. Not only did I think about how that blue light and how it was able to make me sense, but I also had a lot on my mind from what the doctor said to me.
When I woke up, the nurse called for the doctor in a surprised voice saying that I had woken up from a coma.
They thought I had been in a coma, so once I regained consciousness they performed numerous tests on me, but nothing was out of the norm.
'Can they not see the blue light that covered my whole body? Then maybe it is not a good idea to tell them about the blue light and the fact that I have my senses back' Is what Hanuel was thinking, being afraid he would be experimented on for not being 'normal'.
The doctors didn't find out that I have my senses back, they thought I still only had my sense of touch. They thought I had never lost that sense.
So they mistook me losing my sense of touch, what left me completely senseless, for me being in a coma... maybe that is for the better.
After waking up I had a lot to catch up to. The doctors communicated with me through Tactile Sign Language, and the information they gave me was a lot to process.
Firstly, they said I had been in a coma for three years. Knowing the time I spent in that dark empty void didn't leave me sad, quite the opposite actually. Hanuel felt relieved knowing that fact.
'Hmm, I was 13 when I lost my sense of touch, so that makes me 16 now I suppose' Hanuel thought with a smile on his face.
The second thing they told me, what left me in shock and pained me more than having been in that empty void for three years, was that they fell out of contact with my parents. 'How can that be' was what Hanuel asked the doctor in Tactile Sign Language with a tear flowing down his cheek. The doctor said that they went missing two years ago and that no one has been able to contact them.
Speechless, Hanuel sat there. 'That is not fair. Now that I have most of my senses back, you are taking away even more things from me. How empty do you want me to be' He thought looking up in the air.
While not even having processed the fact that my parents left me, the doctors told me the last thing. They told me I had to move out of the hospital before the next month. Like a kick to my stomach, they explained that until now the room was free because they could observe the condition of someone with a disease that only had a few precedents, hoping that they could learn more about it and perhaps even make a cure for it. But they found nothing, so now that I have woken up, that couldn't pay for the room anymore.
I couldn't even think more about the situation that is going to happen from now on. Will I be homeless? Or will I be lucky enough to be allowed to go to an orphanage?
I don't want to think negatively anymore.
Now that I have finally woken up, having most my senses back, nothing is going to stop me from being happy. I will live my life trying to be happy, nothing more, nothing less.
With only positive thoughts in mind, I asked the nurse if she could take me outside for a walk. I just wanted to hear the hustle and bustle of the city I grew up in. Once again experiencing life through most my senses.
Because of my situation, the nurses accompanied me on a walk through the city.
Hearing cars passing by, people talking to each other and the wind going through my hair, which was now shoulder length. Experiencing these made me realise once again how beautiful the world really is.
So now and then the nurse would tell me, via Tactile Sign Language, little things that had changed in the city.
Walking past a small coffee shop, she told me that this used to be a bakery.
Walking in a tunnel, she told me that this used to be a normal crossing, but because the city had gotten so crowded that a tunnel was needed for the flow of pedestrians.
Now having slowly walked for about thirty minutes, the nurse suddenly stopped. A few seconds go by before she tells me that we are in front of the biggest building in the city. She told me that it was only a construction site before I fell into a coma. A skyscraper that had been built in a single year, making it the fastest construction project in history.
'This really is the most beautiful building I have ever seen' Said the nurse out loud. Thinking I couldn't hear it because I lost my sense of hearing.
'Maybe she didn't want to make me sad, knowing I couldn't see the building, so she didn't tell me via Tactile Sign Language. It indeed would have made me sad. For a while now I have been frustrated that I was not able to see. I was thinking why. I should be content with having most of my senses back, so why do I want to see so badly?' This made a lot of thought come to Hanuel's head with feelings of sadness and confusion as to why.
Suddenly an idea popped up in Hanuel's head. 'If I could sense with my body by covering my whole body with this blue light, is it possible to see the things around me by spreading this blue light outside my body?'
Without a second thought, Hanuel spread the blue light, which was in his body, into the outside world.
This phenomenon that Hanuel now experienced was something he could have never imagined. The blue light having spread in a spherical radius of around two meters. In this radius of two meters, Hanuel could see everything. Form the tiniest insect eating a breadcrumb on the ground to a third person perspective of this whole sphere of two meters. Nothing like seeing through your eyes, this was much different. This was like seeing through a sixth sense, being able to experience everything covered by this blue light.
In this two meter radius, Hanuel could see the glass entrance to a building. The biggest building in this city, as the nurse said.
'I want to see this whole building' was the only thing going through Hanuel's head, excitedly like a kid.
Hanuel could now also see himself, a boy of around 1.70 meters tall with a small constitution, fair skin, long black hair and sliver grey eyes. But looking a step further, Hanuel could see how much blue light was remaining in his body. 'With this much I could probably see the whole building' was what Hanuel concluded logically, looking at the amount he consumed to look at a two meter radius around him.
Spreading out the blue light, Hanuel could see more and more of the building. A building completely made out of glass.
10 meters.
30 meters.
100 meters.
Hanuel still had enough blue lights to go even higher.
120 meters.
140 meters.
150 meters.
155 meters.
160 meters.
Hanuel reached the top floor of the building, where a huge logo could be seen.
*ssssshhhhhhffffffff*
100 meters.
'What is happening, I can see less'
70 meters.
'I still have enough blue light, so why is my sight decreasing?'
30 meters.
0 meters.
'I can't see anything'
*kkrrreekkk*
It got dark again. This empty void that I am o so familiar with. Back once again. I have lost all my senses.
I am senseless again.
Not even accompanied by the blue lights anymore.
Was I abandoned by the blue lights, just like I was abandoned by my parents?
Why did this happen?
Just why?
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*Blue lights started appearing in Hanuel's void*
'O they are here again. Did I just run out of blue lights, was that the case? I thought I didn't though' Was what Hanuel thought.
Hanuel immediately took a few blue lights into his body.
But then *A huge amount of purple lights started to appear* overshadowing the blue lights.
These purple lights were so big and bright that the blue lights were just like a drop in the ocean.
Looking further, the purple lights were denser in an area on the far right of the void. 'Wait... that looks like a silhouette of a person. Just like when I covered my body with the blue lights. Looking closer it looked like the silhouette of a woman.'
'Is she the same as me' is what Hanuel thought, feeling a sense of closeness.
'Do I not have to be alone in this world afterall?' With this thought in his head, an overwhelming feeling came over Hanuel.Making him cry uncontrollably, not from sadness but just pure raw emotion.
