90 I'm sorry

Mariza POV

''I love you Mariza, I always did just didn't know that'' these words from Valz lifted a weight from my chest that I didn't even know was threatening to suffocate me. Did he really love me and could I really believe those words? I was always sure about my love for him but the only thing that niggled me was his uncertainty and fear of rejection.

It felt so unreal and I felt like any moment I would wake up from this wonderful dream and be back to my misery.

''Mariza?'' Valz's hoarse voice made me come back to reality and I felt a tear trickle down my eyes. Shit why I was crying?

I felt Valz's warm hands swiping away my tears with a gentleness that I didn't even know he had in himself.

''I'm sorry'' he said with a distressed face and and the agony in them made my heart broke. He was really sincere this time and wanted to make things right.

He broke my heart every time I tried to trust him and was I really willing to risk it again? I placed the negative thoughts at the back of my mind and whispered, ''You won't break me again?'' my voice felt needy and I couldn't care less right now. I needed the certainty that he failed to give me every time.

Valz's grip on my chin tightened gently, ''I know I'm fucked up baby but if you give me a chance right now then maybe we can make this thing between us work'' He said with an intensity in his eyes that made me want to kiss him right now but now was not the time to leave the issues and confusions hanging and I willed myself to look at him and said in a determined voice, ''I need some time'' It wasn't a lie because it was happening so fast and I wanted some time allone to process everything without having to look at Valz because I had to tread carefully and with him watching me with a heated gaze I couldn't take a decision.

His expression turned into a scowl, ''Time for what?'' was he serious? He couldn't just boss around me.

''Valz I need some time to think if I can really trust you this time because trust me I've been through a lot of shit and you of all people know it really well'' I said in a calm tone.