The Hat

I was currently in the tub, bathing in water. Mist had risen from the tub, relaxing my muscles that were tensed an hour ago. The heat may have taken the fatigue out of my body, but the pain was still in my chest.

I kept replaying the scene that occurred earlier in my head all over again. Now that I had a clear head, I was internally beating myself for my poor behavior.

I had no self-control at all! I looked so pathetic. What kind of friend treats his buddies like that? Guess only me. And I wasn't proud of it.

I needed another way to apologize to Samuel again. But the way he looked at me gave me mixed emotions. He was so scared, so worried, so... Disturbed.

It wasn't my intention to push Samuel to his limits. I just wanted to ask him about the hat. Whatever happened to him and that hat, it must not have been good. That's one clue I needed.

I felt bad now.

Samuel was correct yet again - we all have our secrets. Heck, I even kept one from Elijah that I was an elite. Samuel also had the right to not tell me anything. I was such a jerk.

I needed advice from someone on how to fix friendships or how to apologize properly or else I would mess it up again. I could ask Samantha. But if I told her what happened between me and her brother, she might also be mad at me. I could also ask Ashley, but I got the feeling she would lecture me instead of giving an advice.

Thinking of Ashley, her voice rang in my head.

'If you want to strengthen your bond with your soul protector, starting a conversation is one way to do it.'

Of course! I could do that, it would hit two birds with one stone. I could get advice from Matt and I could make my soul protector stronger!

The question remains though - would Matt have an answer to my problems? It wouldn't hurt to try.

'Hey, Matt. Are you there?'

Y̶o̶u̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ c̶a̶l̶l̶e̶d̶ m̶e̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶?

'Uh, yes. I wanted to talk to you.'

A̶n̶d̶ w̶h̶a̶t̶ m̶a̶y̶ i̶t̶ b̶e̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶?

'If you had a friend, and you were... Um... Mean to them. What would you do to apologize?'

I̶s̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ e̶a̶r̶l̶i̶e̶r̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶?

'How do you know?'

E̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ y̶o̶u̶ s̶e̶e̶, h̶e̶a̶r̶, o̶r̶ s̶a̶y̶, I̶, t̶o̶o̶, a̶p̶p̶r̶e̶h̶e̶n̶d̶.

'Well, this saves me from an explanation. What are your thoughts?'

F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶l̶y̶, I̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ s̶a̶y̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ w̶a̶s̶ q̶u̶i̶t̶e̶... C̶o̶n̶t̶e̶m̶p̶t̶u̶o̶u̶s̶ o̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶.

I sighed, lowering into the bathtub even more.

'You think I don't know that?'

S̶i̶n̶c̶e̶ y̶o̶u̶ d̶o̶, h̶e̶r̶e̶ a̶r̶e̶ m̶y̶ t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶s̶. I̶'m̶ s̶u̶r̶e̶ y̶o̶u̶'r̶e̶ a̶w̶a̶re o̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ b̶e̶h̶a̶v̶i̶o̶r̶ r̶e̶c̶e̶n̶t̶l̶y̶?

I nodded. Even though Matt couldn't see me, my soul protector somehow knew.

A̶n̶ a̶p̶o̶l̶o̶g̶y̶ t̶o̶ h̶i̶m̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ b̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ m̶o̶s̶t̶ s̶e̶n̶s̶i̶b̶l̶e̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶o̶ d̶o̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶.

'I figured.'

T̶h̶a̶t̶'s̶ a̶l̶l̶ I̶ c̶a̶n̶ s̶a̶y̶, d̶o̶ y̶o̶u̶ n̶e̶e̶d̶ h̶e̶l̶p̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ m̶o̶r̶e̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶?

'It's just... Why couldn't he tell me? I know he had it 'rough' two years ago but why can't he say it to me to get it off his chest?'

S̶o̶m̶e̶ o̶f̶ u̶s̶ p̶r̶e̶f̶e̶r̶ n̶o̶t̶ t̶o̶ r̶e̶v̶e̶a̶l̶ c̶e̶r̶t̶a̶i̶n̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶s̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶. F̶o̶r̶ e̶x̶a̶m̶p̶l̶e̶, y̶o̶u̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ v̶o̶c̶a̶l̶i̶z̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ 's̶e̶c̶r̶e̶t̶' y̶o̶u̶ h̶i̶d̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ E̶l̶i̶j̶a̶h̶.

...?!

I almost banged my head on the wall next to the tub at the realization.

Samuel was like me - he had secrets he rather not share because of his own reasons. Kind of like what happened with Elijah, but this time, Samuel was me and I was Elijah.

I pressured Samuel into saying the real reason why he didn't want to wear the hat. Samuel said everything he needed to say just to drop and change the topic, but my stubbornness got in the way.

I was such a hypocrite! Here I was, saying why Samuel couldn't entrust his secret to me when Elijah probably felt the same way. Now, I was in his shoes.

I splashed some water on my face for my foolishness. I think I owe Samuel more than an apology.

W̶e̶r̶e̶ m̶y̶ s̶e̶r̶v̶i̶c̶e̶s̶ h̶e̶l̶p̶f̶u̶l̶, m̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶?

I sighed before letting out a small smile.

'Yes, Matt. You made me realize something. You have my gratitude.'

I̶ s̶h̶a̶l̶l̶ t̶a̶k̶e̶ i̶t̶.

Warmth flooded my stomach and chest despite all the bonds I had broken this day. Was this what Ashley was talking about? To bond with your soul protector? If this was it, I liked the feeling. It gave me comfort after the things that transpired.

I stood up from the tub, water trickling down from all over my body. I snatched a towel that hung beside the sink. I wrapped it around my waist and I ruffled my hair just in case it somehow got water in it.

I marched towards the door and opened it. I was about to step out when my eye caught something strange in the mirror.

The rash from my lower back had gotten bigger and darker. The pink color that once stuck onto my back was now red. What was strange about it was it had grown swirls - like an undone tattoo. I was perplexed by the sudden appearance. This couldn't be a normal rash anymore.

'I should see a dermatologist about this one. What kind of rash is this? I feel like it isn't a rash anymore.'

I gave the spot a poke. A twinge of pain made me pull my hand back from contact with it. I was starting to feel nervous and panicked.

'What the hell is this?'

I took a deep breath before exhaling deeply. It probably wasn't serious. It just swelled up or something because of gym class today. We were running the whole time after all, and sweating could deliver a nasty effect to rashes.

I dried myself up using the towel and put my pajamas on - only the pants though, I couldn't find the top to pair it anywhere! I was currently rummaging my closet for the shirt when a knock on the door startled me.

"J-Just a second!" I hurriedly spoke as I picked up a random t-shirt as all hope was lost in finding the pair. I scurried towards the door to open it. On the other side were the girls - Samantha and Ashley.

They both had their brows furrowed with a sad expression plastered on their face. "What happened to the both of you earlier?" Ashley asked, her foot tapped on the ground several times like a beat. "Samuel rushed out of the kitchen. He looked so pale. Then, you emerged a moment later looking like a mess! Did you fight again or what?"

"So, you did see us." I sighed, scratching my head. Samantha played with her fingers as she spoke.

"W-We didn't talk to you when you e-exited the kitchen b-because you looked so t-troubled. We figured to l-let you rest for awhile b-before questioning you."

I smiled a bit at that. 'They're so considerate. It makes me wonder if that's what got 'normal' people to idolized them too.'

"Thanks for that. I shall answer your questions then."

I opened the door and beckoned for them to come inside. The two of them step foot in my room and their jaws dropped upon seeing a good view of the full moon out my window.

Like Samuel informed us when we were still in the elite building, the elites had a different way of viewing the moon from 'normal' people. We see and feel Selene's aura radiating off the moon. There was a yellow hue circling the moon in waves, gradually disappearing when it's getting too far from the moon. When I was in elementary, I had thought this was normal until I told my 'normal' friends what I was seeing. They called me silly when I said I saw yellow waves were bouncing off the moon. That day left me confused. Now, I understood.

I felt some kind of tranquility when I gazed at the celestial body, feeling at home and safe. I also feel stronger, like I could take anything on. Except for my emotions.

Ashley and Samantha snapped out of their daze and turned to me. The blue-eyed girl grabbed the one chair in this room and sat on it. Samantha stood still as her eyes shifted to my bed and the ground.

I chuckled at Samantha's shyness. I walked over to my bed and sat down. I patted the space next to me as I locked eyes with the blonde-haired girl. "You can sit here."

Samantha smiled adorably which struck my heart to beat faster. She skipped towards the bed and sat down, joy was evident in her actions. That made me grin involuntarily.

Ashley cleared her throat to get our attention. "So, you may start explaining, Martinez. What happened between you and Samuel that I couldn't feast on the food you were making?"

I bit my lip and collapsed on the bed. The girls were bewildered at my actions. I didn't want to say it to them because I did it again - I was rude to Samuel who was kind to me. He didn't deserve the treatment I was giving him and the same goes for me.

"I... I did it again, Ashley."

The blue-eyed girl stood up and loomed over me. Samantha raised an eyebrow at what I meant. I didn't get the chance to elaborate as Ashley crossed her arms and shook her head. "You seemed to regret what you did back when you had injured your foot, and yet you did it again? What's the meaning of this?"

"I don't know." I ruffled my hair in frustration and abruptly sat up. "I-I couldn't control myself." I placed my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands, blocking my vision from the girls. I was so embarrassed, so ashamed. All in all, I felt really guilty about how I acted towards Samuel as of late. I should be repaying his efforts in taking care of me and saving me, not all this toxic nonsense.

I wasn't like this with all of my previous friends though. It all started with Elijah and Samuel. I was conflicted about what was happening to me. Was this supposed to be an elite thing? An after-effect? It didn't seem that way.

Ashley massaged her forehead and Samantha was still confused. I laid back on my bed again. Silence filled the atmosphere as no one had the heart to comment on my reason. Finally, Samantha couldn't take it anymore. "W-What do you mean 'a-again'? What did you d-do?"

I hoped she wouldn't get mad at me for this. I couldn't forgive myself if I lost both Samuel and Samantha like Elijah. I owe her an explanation - she is his sister, after all.

"Let's say... I was mean to Samuel, Samantha." I sat back up to properly face the girl. "And now, I did it again. I was rude to him - I invaded what should've been personal."

Samantha blinked, processing what I just told her. Then, she slowly said, "Can you e-elaborate on 'personal'?

I glanced at Ashley. "I asked about why he didn't want to wear the captain's hat like Zed."

"Oh, for goodness' sake." Ashley sat down and sighed. Her eyes were closed and she put a hand on her head. Samantha was also quiet when I told them.

Why do they know about it? How come Samuel couldn't tell me? Seriously, even Zed knew!

I bit my cheeks and huffed. All of them knew about his situation. I wished they could tell me so I, at least, know Samuel a little bit better.

"I'll t-tell you." Samantha suddenly spoke up. It seemed she was deciding whether to tell me or not about the hat. "I'll tell you w-why brother doesn't want t-to wear the hat."

"Samantha!" Ashley said in surprise. "Do you have to? Samuel didn't-"

"I-It's fine." Samantha cut Ashley off. "She's my sibling t-too, you know! I k-know why Samuel won't wear the h-hat."

Okay, I know what I did earlier was to get Samuel to say the reason why he won't wear the captain's hat, but for Samantha to force it just so I could satisfy my curiosity just feels so wrong.

But... For me to know about Samuel just a little bit more couldn't be any harm, right? I don't know why Samuel didn't want to tell me the truth, so I needed a bit of information so I could watch my words and how I act. I felt my conscience biting me for that though.

I don't want to force you Samantha..." I trailed off, unsure if what I was doing was right. "But if you could tell me why Samuel doesn't want to wear the hat, then..."

"I'll tell you." Samantha said slowly and firmly. "I think i-it's time Samuel stops running away f-from the past."

The girl looked straight into my eyes. "And I h-have a feeling you're t-the one who could help him, Mathew."

I felt like I've been handed a new responsibility.

I didn't like the sound of Samuel 'running away' from his past. I did it this time. I was about to know a secret I wasn't supposed to know in the first place. If it meant helping Samuel face his past, then I'd be more than happy to help him. For that to happen though, I needed to know about the hat.

"Thanks for believing in me, Samantha." I took her hand. "I'll do whatever it takes to help your brother."

It was a nice feeling to be trusted by someone.

The blonde-haired girl blushed and her eyes flitted to our intertwined hands. She smiled and gripped my hand tighter. "I'll hope f-for the best."

Ashley just sat on the chair, looking back and forth between us, not knowing what to do. I noticed there was another person in the room so I got straight to the point. "So... What exactly happened between Samuel and that hat?"

Samantha frowned a bit when I retracted my hand. I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at her cuteness.

"W-Well, I don't know if you already know about t-this but... We had one m-more sibling - an older sister to b-be specific. Her name w-was Samara."

I was confused on why she was using past tense at introducing her to me.

"Why are you saying like she's not around anymore?" I attempted to joke around. When I saw the glum faces of the girls did the realization hit me like a truck.

'D-Don't tell me... '

"Your sister... is dead?"