1 Second Chance - A New Life

PINGG….a notification appeared on his smart-phone screen, a very special notification, in fact the one that he had been hoping for at that very moment. It read "Your Talent Hunt Examination results have arrived, do visit the site to know your result…" and some more greetings and formalities. He raced to his computer , opened the site, and began searching for his name without delay on the leaderboard. It was there, but he had to almost partake in the help of a microscope to find his name among the other seas of names of the people who had participated and ranked…

It said ...His Name - 423rd rank - West Bengal.

Somewhere , in his heart, he felt a sudden pang of disappointment as if someone had stabbed him with a dagger of depression directly to the heart. He couldn't mask his disappointment this time. How could he ? He was at the end of his tether now. 20 competitions . Yes, 20 competitions in his life so far, yet not a merit certificate in his tally yet. He had been hoping, no hoping would have been too light a way to put it.

He had put all his strength, all his energy , all his brain-power for the past 2 months into preparing for this exam, for getting a respectable merit rank, a rank which would stand among one of the top names on the leaderboard.

He had always been that student, hovering between High and Average in his class.

Yes, 423 was an appreciable rank among 12,000 students, but , but no merit rewards, just a common participation certificate doled out to the rest 11,997 students as if to say " Yes, you weren't a ranker, but you participated , so we have to give this certificate to you, now Shoo, we have more certificates to print".This thought might have made him laugh at other times. But right now, he was too drained to even smirk…

He had been very enthusiastic to participate in all competitions that crossed his path, but participating here seemed more like turning towards a last resort rather than an enthusiastic entry..

Then the result came along..that was the last straw..his 20th defeat in a row.

That might not have sounded too much of a big deal to the adults..but it was a big blow to him.

He had never been much of a positive person, okay, he was not going to lie, he had always been a big time pessimist. Before he participated in anything, the first thought that arrived in his mind was "What if I lose?".

Now after failing again, he justified his thoughts, he couldn't do anything, he wasn't worth anything.The self-pity came back, this time like a wave, drowning him, engulfing him in it's treacherous waters, wave after wave.

Perhaps, his relatives would ridicule him saying, that the whole idea of him being so disappointed at the prospect of this small thing was idiotic. But didn't they always say themselves, that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ?

He didn't know what to say to his parents, explaining what all was going through his mind at the moment would take an excruciating amount of time, in fact he didn't know what was going through his mind at that time. His parents would probably sympathise with him, tell him ,"Participation is what matters, and there's always a second chance". But then, why did people participate if the result didn't have equal prominence as that of participation.And why couldn't people always be lenient with their first chance , if there was a second chance always there, hovering around ?".

More thinking might explode his brain, he thought…...and he stopped thinking and stared at the opposite wall, his brain an empty shell. He was there for how long he didn't know, he had completely lost count of time. It might have been minutes, hours, perhaps even a few seconds. He was jerked back to stark cold reality by his mother calling him for dinner. He got up, hastily smudged the few tears that might have dropped outwards from his eyes involuntarily and went out assuring his mother that everything was all right and he was "just studying".

He was half-way through the palang paneer , a dish he craved before, but it didn't taste so welcoming now for some reason. Then his mother dropped the bomb."I caught wind of this Quiz competition , would you like to participate ?"she said, not knowing what he had been thinking. His expression turned guarded, "No " he said almost automatically.

"Why", his mother asked,, surprised by this sudden change of answer.

"I've got a few...er ...other things to do, I am er...very busy with school-work. ", he fumbled, and left with his dish.

Going to sleep was perhaps the most difficult task he had ever faced. All the day's thoughts came back to him like a boomerang. And he was involuntarily thinking along the lines of what had happened today .

He had recently been addicted to the Rick Riordan books, and a quote came flashing back to him. "Your fatal flaw can kill you". Perhaps a fatal flaw wasn't just a thing from fiction books, looking closely, it existed very much in the mortal world, existing by the name of weaknesses in plural.

What was his weakness ? Ah, yes, not being able to stand being small in front of others was one, not being able to move on from yesterday was certainly one, he still contemplated about how things would have been a lot better had he done something different in the past.

Your fatal flaw could kill you, but what if you managed to 'overtake it", would you be granted a new start ? a new life ?

He could try. If it went wrong , well, we couldn't be more worse off mentally, than he already was, could he ?

He thought maybe he could try, maybe he could take his second chance which he had been so unsure of ?

With those thoughts, his head dropped, and he fell into dream-less sleep which is a relief.

The next day, he hesitantly walked up to his mother, fearing an angry reproach with some asperity.

"Er...mom...I was thinking whether I could participate in this competition of yours ?"

"Okay then, I'll fill up the form"

And thus ended the very very short conversation and he walked away his relief overweighing his happiness.

He felt proud of himself though, at being able to make the decision.

Self -pity was permanently kicked out of his conscience.

He would take his second chance, and start with a new mind-set.

Hmmm..thinking back..all this seemed suspiciously appropriate for an out of the box Bollywood movie , except perhaps replacing the results of the exam with the death of a friend.

But for now it would have to put up with being a Wattpad story !

And That's Exactly What You Are Reading !

**this story is based on real life and feelings**

A/N(Author's Note)- Hey friend ! I am neither a person with great philosophical sense nor a person with great experience of life, so I am just going to give you some short advice..don't let yourself be overcome by self-pity or you'll never find yourself again..Take it from me !

Cheers ,

Your friend,

Sid

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