Chapter 24

It was that party in their estate in which his father introduced a lady to him and his mother, the duchess of some royals perish he served. The lady held his father's arm as if she claimed him. Johnathan couldn't endure watching that lady being so impudent in the presence of her mother. But she kept a gentle smile on her face but even with that smiling face she had tears and red underlines that expressed more. He hinted her not to exhibit any sort of emotions, but she couldn't help but weep. John and the others noticed that and were quite confused as to why that woman was crying as they had no idea, it was the betrayal that made her cry. He had a great fight during which his mother uttered not a single sentence. It was unbearable for his father but the awareness that he wouldn't reform or quite the path he has taken made her like this, a silent cold and a cruel sculptor. Just similar to the ones in their garden at mid-night where they can silently express their melancholy in the atmosphere and not a single word needed to be said. That was her story, to him, his poor mother who died of this heart ache.

Now he was the one suffering it. The awareness that there was no way around it was quite upsetting. He remained confident and waited patiently for the undesirable invitation to be a part of the family that was the cause of her mother's misery. And it came with the boldness that sickened him to his core. It infuriated him instantly, and the maid who brought this post could tell how much he loathed it. Johnathan was just like his mother; people could see through him that is what the maid thought. She was wrong about him as her aunt changed him, he was open when he desired to be and only around the people, he felt no harm being with or the ones he loved. He concealed these sentiments, and it was his home, his safe place. He was invited to the estate of the deceits, he told himself he must visit, or he would end up aching like his mother did.

He was welcomed by everyone with a warm heart. People admired his gentle manner and the way he was appreciative to his father's will of his return as a proper family member. He warmed up to his siblings a half-brother and a sister, quite young and excited to recognize his existence. He dared not to develop a feud with his siblings, but it was their mother and his father who he despised the most. He ignored them entirely and attended the people who came and talk to him because of how famous he was in England because of his work. His father took him in his study during the party and told him, 'I cannot thank you enough for being her and I am glad to have you back dear son!'. He listened to him as he recovered quite well and appeared to be in a state to answer him without a lie that was an excuse he used in his childhood. His father admired his fame around England, and he made his name without a family reference. His silent manner was alarming, and the passive gestures even shook his father to his spine. He felt the same dreadful silence that his mother made him feel when he informed her about the duchess's interest in him. He knew he could not reason with him as he was not a child anymore, but he tried anyway, 'You have not spilt a word out dear! What is the matter with you?'

He stood up and scanned through the books he had accumulated all those years. He asked him, 'Is this the gain you achieved for destroying that one life? This estate and this position? Is that all that you get?'. Johnathan chocked on his words, still he continued, 'I cannot even tell you how big of a difference it would have made if you hadn't let me off all those years ago!'. He paused to look at him and his father said, 'But even then, you are here . . .. and that is what matters to me!'. Johnathan smirked and interrupted, 'To you! Wasn't it always about you and yet it is all about you! What you need, want or desire! Hunh! You! You! And only you!'. He told Johnathan, 'I know you are angry, but we can make it up for all these years!'. Johnathan shed tears of regret, and continued, 'I thought that I finally may receive an apology for what you did to us! But no, you wouldn't change for your child! You know what you are a self-centered and mean existence! I just want to know why you killed her and you are killing me now! I didn't want to be here with you I had a whole life there! I was not your son I was just her son! You ruined it for me!' He father called his name and tried to comfort him, 'John. …!'. He snapped, 'I am just here for my mother's belonging, and I think I would not be anything else to you! Not a son, and not a part of your fake family! I just cannot be mean to those new children of yours! You desire to know why? Because I am her son and not yours! I have her heart but even then, I cannot forgive you like she did when she died!'.

He opened the door of the study and left his father frozen. He knew felt the remorse that he buried deep when he told his mother about his desire to continue his affair with the duchess. He remained there in the party till the last of the guests left but his father was nowhere to be found. He then left to his home where he could now feel pleasant because he unlike his mother opened up about the pain, he inflicted on both of them. His father fell ill again, and he was again insisted to visit him which he did. He still desired him to stop there. He stopped only when his half-sister and brother insisted on his stay. He believed that his words were harsh and made his father ill. He went to his bed and apologized for treating him so harshly, but his father knew he was not sorry for the words he said. Therefore, he accepted his apology and was led to his room by his half-brother and sister.

He was not sick around them they went well and had quite a great time except for the dinner he had on the night he stayed in their palace or estate. The had every sort of Italian delicacies that one can imagine and yet Johnathan preferred lean meat and some soup with salad. The duchess addressed to him, 'It is quite pleasant to have you here, tonight!'. He gestured in confirmation and then she continued, 'Your father made quite a mistake when he sends you off to England! It was a result of his quick temper at that time! He was not in peace after that and missed how things could have been so different if he hadn't let you off!'. He listened carefully but remained silent. Then she further added, 'He loves you dear, so forgive the old man! His love for you has gotten him sick!'. He didn't want to utter words that he would regret later. So, he said, 'I presume that quick temper must have some external stimulant! Otherwise, my father, the old man as you called her, he is a very wiseman!'. His siblings sensed bitterness and cold for their mother from Johnathan for the very first time. 'I would rather not call it love but I would call it, his grief or may be not! Anything but love, I insist you do not name it for me at all!'.

He left to his room mid-dinner and Herbert followed him. He told him, 'John, I apologize for that! Mother shouldn't have talked to you about your personal matters!'. Johnathan smiled a little at him and said, 'It is alright, dear brother! I just am like that I just cannot tolerate strangers attending to my sentiments! It doesn't apply to you both!'. Herbert was alright after that, but he understood that Johnathan didn't accept the duchess as a part of his family. He left early morning to his work and then to his home after work. He was alone mostly but now his siblings visited and stayed at his childhood home.