1 Breaths, voices and unexpected afterlive

Ah, another day in the thrilling saga of my life. I wake up to the delightful sound of my mom reminding me about unfinished assignments. It's like she majored in nagging.

"Jimmy, assignments done?" my mom's voice pierces the air, perfectly timed to ruin my morning tranquility.

"Yep, all good, mom," I respond, the epitome of teenage enthusiasm. She retreats, leaving me to contemplate the mysteries of my impending adulthood. Like, do I even need insurance in a fantasy world?

I decide to indulge in some Wim Hof breathing, you know, the kind that promises enlightenment and usually ends with me gasping for air like a fish out of water.

In the midst of my "enlightening" moment, something weird happens. I hear voices. Not the usual "I should have pizza for dinner" voices, but actual, real voices.

And then it turns dark

"O puer meus... What shall his name be?" a woman's voice floats through my consciousness. I'm tempted to suggest something heroic like Captain Awesome, but I hold my tongue.

"Nomen eius Kael."

"Nomen eius erit Kael Erevan Shadowmere."

Suddenly, I find myself in what seems like a deleted scene from a medieval fantasy movie. A beautiful woman, a handsome dude, and me—clearly the comic relief in this epic tale.

I pinch myself, thinking I've finally lost it, but nope, still here. And apparently, I've been reborn into a world where my sarcasm might be the deadliest weapon I possess.