Chapter Six

Danielle sat on her bed, her knees tucked up to her chest, holding a stuffed animal. It was one Coop had won at the fairgrounds festival years ago. He had already gotten a stuffed animal for his sister, since this was back when Christine didn't call him names like squirt or pest. Dany had turned to leave, thinking he was done, only to hear him ask the attendant for more balls. He'd managed to get a perfect score and win a grand prize.

He had shyly offered it to Danielle, the fluffy gorilla had a permanent spot atop the headboard of her bed. She now had her arms wrapped around it, crushing it to her chest in a vice like grip.

Tears had dampened the animal's fur. Danielle had closed her eyes to staunch the flow a while ago. A knock at her door startled her. She set the toy back in its usual resting spot. Using a tissue she dabbed her eyes. "Come in."

Her mother opened the door, a solemn look on her face. "Are you hungry honey. I can fix you something, unless you wanna go out?" 

Danielle attempted to act casually, but she broke eye contact before she answered. "Nah mom, I'm fine."

Her mother's face turned crestfallen, coming into the room she came to the bed and sat down on the edge. Putting her hand on Danielle's knee she rubbed it in a soothing motion. "I'm sorry honey, I know it's not fair you having to put up with your father's and I's problems."

Danielle swung her legs over the end of the bed. "That's not it mom, Coop asked me to go out with him."

Her mother smiled, reaching up and stroking her hair. "Isn't that a good thing honey? Do you not feel the same way?" 

Danielle leaned over, resting her head against her mother's shoulder as she held back tears.

"I love him mom, I do. But when he said it I thought about you and dad. About how many times he kissed you goodbye in the morning. Told you he loved you. You guys got together right out of high school and he still..."

She trailed off, stopping to wipe her nose. A small sob tore out of her throat. "Right then I was so upset about dad, I felt like us getting together would just mean losing him later, and I just couldn't take it. I thought we'd have more time as friends before all that stuff would matter. But I said such hateful things to him." 

Dany's body shuddered and she wrapped her arms around her mother, remembering how her words had torn into him. "He got off at the next stop and now he won't answer his phone."

Dany buried her head in her mother's chest and let the tears fall. Danielle's mother rested her hands on her back and cooed to her like she was soothing a child who had just fallen and scraped their knee. "Listen, just go over there and explain it to him. I don't mind if Cooper hears about it, lord knows everyone in the neighborhood will find out soon enough."

Danielle removed her head from where it lay, laughing humorlessly at the face shaped stain she'd left on her mothers' shirt. "I already went over after I got home, I asked his sister and she said he wasn't coming back tonight. I'm sure he probably hates me now."

April shook her head, turning her daughters face to look her in the eye. "I've known Coop his whole life. I don't think he's capable of hating you. Just talk to him at school tomorrow and I'm sure you two can work it out."

Danielle nodded her head, even though she wasn't convinced. If she couldn't forgive herself for what she'd said, how could she expect Coop to?

* * *

Coop sat at the desk in his bedroom, writing a letter for Danielle. He was trying not to think of it as a goodbye letter. Franklin came to his door and leaned inside. "You nearly done? Your dad called, he's got your flight scheduled. He's grabbing your grandma and sister so we can have a going away dinner for you." Coop kept writing but glanced over and nodded. Franklin turned and walked down the hallway.

Coop looked down at what he'd written and said to himself. "Yeah, I think that's it." 

He sealed up the envelope and placed it on the desk. He stood and walked to the bathroom as he called down the stairs to his grandfather. "Hey gramps I'm gonna hit the head real quick and then I'll be down." 

All his grandfather answered with was a grumble. Coop handled his business in the bathroom and then walked to the sink. Turning on the tap he washed his hands. As he was doing so, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He chuckled to himself morosely. How had he gone from confessing to Danielle, to packing to leave the country a day later? He closed the tap and dried his hands. As he did a sigh escaped his lips. 

His grandfather's voice came up from below. "Hey bucko, everyone's headed to the restaurant now." 

Coop tossed the hand towel in the hamper and turned off the light. Stepping out into the hallway and going down the stairs. He forgot about the letter to Dany sitting on the desk in his room.

* * *

Cooper sat in the restaurant, surrounded by his family. His cousins, aunts and uncles. His grandparents on his dad's side. His mother's parents had retired to Florida years ago. He had spoken to them on the phone that morning so they could wish him well on the trip.

He promised to come visit after he got back and before he started college. Everyone was having a good time. These family get togethers we're a fairly frequent thing. Danielle had attended many as well, his family having accepted when he was young that the two were a package deal.

She got along with his family almost better than he did. He looked at the table the family usually sat the younger members at, remembering a particular time when the two of them had been fooling around. Using their straws to blow the wrappers off at each other.

Danielle had gone to tickle Coop's side, causing him to knock his fork off the table. They both bent over at the same time to pick it up and bumped their heads together. Both of them straightened up at the same time. Coop had the fork in one hand and the other gripping the table for support.

Danielle was looking at him as she brought a hand up to run the sore spot on her forehead. When she saw Coop had his hands full, she took her other hand and started rubbing his forehead as well.

After a moment they smiled, laughing at their own foolishness. Coop sat there reminiscing. That had always been a really happy memory. But all it did now was make him feel empty.

After everyone had finished, he said goodbye to his extended family. Just his father, sister and grandparents went to see him off at the airport. Sitting in the back seat with his sister and father in the front, Coop was free to watch the street pass by outside.

They passed the park where they'd played as kids. He could picture his younger self pushing Danielle on the swings. They passed the strip mall with their favorite ice cream parlor. They'd each get a cone then sit on the curb off to the side. Coop closed his eyes, doubting himself and questioning his resolve.

Sure, his pride was wounded. What guy wants to hear the girl he loves turn him down. But would this really solve anything between them in the long run? Was he doing anything besides punishing himself and her; trying to elicit sympathy or make her feel guilty?

As he contemplated this, they drove past the railway tracks. He closed his eyes and relived the exchange between them again, the way she had tossed the accusations at him. 

'Why do I keep thinking of her and I as an US? We're not a couple, a man and a woman who are good friends are still just good friends.'

Neither one of them had cared about what sex the other one was for most of their lives. It was him who had tried to change that. He'd put his thoughts and feelings before their friendship. He'd taken for granted that she would, what, let him down easy? He needed to do this for himself, not because he thought it would fix anything here. 

He missed something his sister said. He turned his head then pulled his eyes forward. "What's that sis?" 

Christine rolled her eyes at her brothers' daydreaming. "I said, what were you and grandpa whispering about outside the restaurant?"

Coop smirked, remembering his grandpa waving him over after he'd said his goodbyes to his cousins. "He asked me to try and smuggle back a five-body sword." 

She cocked her head back. "What?"

Coop's smirk deepened as he chuckled. "One of the stories, or maybe myths about the katanas that the samurai of Japan sometimes carried was that they tested it by using it to cut a cadaver or criminal sentenced for death in half. Supposedly the greatest swords could cut through five bodies in one swing."

Christine made a disgusted face. "Yuck, are they really so expensive that you have to sneak one back in your luggage?"

Coop shook his head. "A sword like that amounts to a national treasure for them, it's an antique from a bygone era of artisan sword smiths. Something like that might be given to a foreign head of state or someone who greased the right palms maybe, but not some random kid."

Christine laughed. "The amount of effort you two put into these fantasies."

She sat for a moment before a scowl settled on her face. She turned around in her seat and stared daggers at her brother.

Coop got self-conscious and leered at her. "Yes?"

Christine's eyes turned to slits. "You already looked into whether you could get one, didn't you?"

Coop said nothing for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, grinning and turning to look back out the window.

* * *

Coop and his family stood together inside the terminal. His father was grilling him to make sure he knew what he needed to do during his layover, and where his uncle was gonna meet him when he landed. His grandfather hugged him and gave him a wink. He was sure it was meant to be encouraging but it felt conspiratorial more than anything.

He got the obligatory kiss on the cheek from his grandmother. He took stock of everything, going over anything he might have forgotten.

As he patted his pockets, he remembered the letter. "Shit!" 

His grandmother stepped up and poked him in the side. "Hey there, pottymouth!" 

His father looked mildly concerned. "What's wrong Cooper?"

Coop turned his head to the side and spoke with a dejected sigh. "I wrote a letter to Dany, I was gonna drop it in her mailbox before I left." 

He looked to Christine with an earnest face. His pleading tone begging her to take pity on him. "Sis, do you think you could run over and drop it in for me?" 

Christine surprisingly didn't bust his chops. She stepped forward and gave her little brother a hug.

"Okay, but only because it's the last favor you're getting for a long time!" 

She smiled at him as she stepped back slightly, saying low so no one else could hear. "I gotcha bro." 

Coop smiled back and whispered. "Thank you." Lifting his shoulders and breathing out in an exaggerated fashion. 

His dad reached out his hand and smiled at his son. "I'll be along before too long. Make sure to call to let us know when you make contact with your uncle"

Coop took the offered hand and shook it. "We'll try not to get in to too much trouble before you show up."

He grabbed his bags and started walking further into the terminal, looking back to see everyone wave their goodbyes.

* * *

Danielle sat at her desk, pretending to do homework. Coop hadn't shown up to school that day, and when she called his number, she got a message saying the line wasn't in service. She didn't know if that meant he'd blocked her number, or if he was leaving his phone off. But her guilt and worry were in opposition to the small bit of hope she was clinging onto.

Coop wouldn't block her number. He might tell her to go to hell and ignore her, but eventually he'd want to hash it out and put her in her place. She'd explain and make a very uncharacteristic show of begging for his forgiveness.

This would be a rough patch for them, but they'd get through it, and their friendship, or possibly more, she wasn't sure, would be stronger for it. She couldn't blame Coop if he was cold to her for a while, but she'd do her best to show she loved him too.

Whether that love was the kind that a life together was built on, how was she supposed to know? It wasn't like she didn't get butterflies when he'd look at her that way sometimes. Okay most of the time, but she had things she wanted to do.

Go to medical school, travel, she didn't even know if she'd have time for a boyfriend. And she was scared of moving too fast, for reasons she wished she had been honest about. 'You'd be hanging out with him anyways, it's practically the same.'

Part of her had always known it was gonna be her and Coop, but that didn't mean she was in a rush. They had so much fun together now. The only thing missing was the one thing that destroyed all the relationships around her, the physical stuff.

Now she was realizing she may have taken for granted that Coop would still be around when she was ready. She thumbed through the pages, tapping her foot on the floor and drumming her pen on her textbook.

Glancing up she saw the Bogdan's family car pull into their driveway. She slammed the textbook shut and bolted for the door. Taking the stairs two at a time she dashed through the landing and straight past her mother, rushing a greeting as she passed. "Hi mom!"

She resisted the urge to throw the door open, instead looking in the mirror just inside the foyer and fixing her hair. She opened the door and speed walked next door. She frowned when she saw it was just his sister and father, Coop not in tow. Christine and Jack noticed her at the same time.

They shared a glance as Jack shut his door. Christine shut hers and sighed. "It's okay dad, I'll take care of it."

Jack nodded and started towards the door, waving to Danielle as he went. "Hello Danielle." 

She was making a beeline for Christine, but she waved back at him. "Hi Mr. Bogdan."

She came and stood in front of Christine with worry clear on her face, speaking in a flurry. "Hey Christine, is Coop okay? He wasn't at school, and I can't get through to his phone. Is he gonna be home tonight? Because—." 

Christine waved her hands, her tone gentle but serious. "Danielle…"

Both girls went silent for a moment. Christine motioned towards the front step. "Coop is okay, but I need to tell you something."

The color drained from Danielle's face and her heart sank even as its pace became hurried. Both girls sat down on the front step. Danielle kept her gaze low even as Christine looked at her.

"My dad is gonna be running a new project for the family overseas, in Japan actually. Coop is headed there now, we dropped him off at the airport just a little bit ago." 

Danielle's mouth opened and shut several times. Part of her was not comprehending what Coop's sister was saying. 'It was just a fight.' No, that wasn't quite right. A fight would mean both parties were in the wrong.

It was a mistake, hers, she just needed to explain things and it would be okay. "What project? How long is he gonna be gone?" Her voice was timid, but luckily it didn't crack. 

Christine inwardly cursed her brother for making her have to break the news. "It's something about a new oil rig. Cooper isn't coming back until the end of senior year."

Danielle's breath caught in her throat, and the tears she had managed to keep at bay started to spill over. She took a long moment to try and steady her voice before answering. "We haven't talked since yesterday, I didn't know." 

Christine nodded, to herself more than Danielle. Remembering the letter she stood up. "He wrote you a good…" She stopped, calling it that felt callous "…a note, it's up in his room."

Danielle let herself hope just the smallest bit. He must still care if he bothered to write something, right? She stood up, following Christine inside the house.

Christine pointed upstairs and started talking. "I'll go grab…" She stopped as she looked at Danielle and saw her tear-streaked face. Taking pity on her she nodded to the stairs. "Come on up, I have tissues in my room, and we can grab the letter too." 

Danielle nodded. "Thanks."

The two of them walked upstairs. As they passed Christine's room her phone rang. Looking at the screen she pointed towards Coop's room. "I need to take this real quick. Can you grab the note?"

Danielle nodded, Christine accepted the call and walked into her room. Danielle stood in the hallway a moment, not moving. Slowly she turned and made her way into Coop's room.

Looking around absentmindedly, circling the room and looking at things in a random fashion. She could almost imagine he would walk in any second, jokingly telling her to stop touching his stuff.

But he wouldn't, because he had chosen to go to another continent because he couldn't stand the sight of her.

She brought her hands to her face and held her head, sobbing for several moments. Finally, she opened her eyes and took a deep breath. Seeing a tissue box on Coops desk she used several to clean herself up.

She went to toss them into his waste basket but thought better when she realized it might not be emptied for almost three years. Then she thought about not seeing him for three whole years, and that was if he even wanted to see her once he got home.

The thought had a kind of numbness attached to it. Not quite shock but just plain disbelief. Even as she had told herself Coop would never forgive her, she was clinging to some childish notion that he would stroll up to her and read her the riot act. Appease her guilty conscience, and then they'd make up. Would he ask her again once he knew why she'd blown up?

She was brought back to reality when she spotted the envelope with her name written in cursive on the front. She didn't even realize Coop could write in cursive. Picking it up she held it to her chest for a second and closed her eyes, imagining what he'd start the letter off with. 

Hopefully something biting like, 'Hey, you're an asshole.'

She laughed a little at that. It would be like him to cut through the tension right off the bat.

She lowered her arms and started toward the door. Her hand brushed across the back of his desk chair, feeling his hoodie. The one issued to wrestling team members. She ran her hand over it, back and forth a few times. She picked it up by the collar and brought it to her chest. "Got everything?" 

Dany nearly jumped out of her skin at Christine's interruption. She repositioned the hoodie and letter in her grip. Stuttering slightly, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, and I found some tissues too." She held up the wad as proof.

Christine smirked and then deadpanned. "Well, it is a teenage boy's bedroom." 

Danielle couldn't get out of the house fast enough after that statement. She thanked Christine as she shut the door behind her, then ran home. Rushing up the stairs she brushed away her mother's questions with a promise to explain later.

Closing her door, she tossed Coop's hoodie onto her bed and sat in her desk chair. Taking a pair of scissors she used it to cut open the top of the envelope. Setting aside the scissors she pulled out the letter. Unfolding the paper, she smoothed it out on her desk and started reading.

'Danielle, I'm sorry.'

Her lip twitched, the words so unexpected. 

'I'm not proud of the fact that I'm doing this through a letter. But after what happened the last time we talked, I'm not sure I could take another round. I want you to know I don't blame you for what you said. If anything I'm glad, because I got most of what I wanted to say off my chest and I got my answer. Even if it wasn't the one I was hoping for I'm glad I know and that I didn't keep it inside any longer. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was scared of what you'd say, isn't that funny? I realize now that I've been chasing you all these years, never wondering if you wanted me to. I'm sure you're tired of seeing my face every day and hearing my bad jokes. Of me forcing you to watch old movies and lay in the backyard memorizing constellations. We aren't kids anymore, and I guess sometimes that means growing up as well as growing apart. So, I'm not gonna bother you anymore. My dad is moving to Japan for work, and I'm going to live there with him until college. It's a dream come true for me, you know how fascinated me and gramps are with it. I really wanted to say goodbye to you face to face, I did. But if nothing changed, then this time away would be harder on me than not talking to you at all. I'm sorry you felt that I was lying to you all this time, that is the thing I regret most about all of this. Your friendship has meant more to me than you will ever know. Take care of yourself, I'll see you when I see you.

Your friend, always, Cooper (AKA Dummy)'

She struggled to read the last few sentences as her tears began landing on the paper. She brought one hand up to her face, covering her mouth, and sobbed as silently as she could. 

Once she could manage, she walked over to the bed. Picking up his hoodie she curled into a ball and buried her face in it. There wasn't a hole dark or deep enough for her to crawl into.

She knew from the moment she'd noticed he got off the rail car she hadn't just hurt his feelings, she had hurt him. When she imagined their roles reversed, Coop saying the things that she had said in her anger and grief over her parents' divorce; she felt like throwing up.'…has meant'.

Did that mean he thought they weren't friends anymore?

'I used him as a verbal punching bag. Why would he still think I was his friend?'

Even as she sobbed she felt she didn't even have a right to be sad, knowing it was all her fault. Every time she started to cry, self-pity crept in.

'You deserve this.'

* * *

Coop stood on the porch of his uncle's place, looking out over the water. It had been almost a full day since he had flown out of Texas. He had already spoken to his father to let him know he'd made it safe. His uncle Jeff had been ecstatic to see him. He was a bachelor and hadn't been stateside in a couple years. So, the chance to spend time with family was a welcome change.

They'd gone out for ramen, and afterwards they had taken the long way to Jeff's rental so that Coop could see some of the city. Now he was taking in the view and breathing in the sea air. It was a bittersweet feeling, being here right now. But at least he was able to focus on the sweet for the moment.

Now that he had put some distance from home, he was sure this was the right call. Moping around at home wouldn't do any good. He'd never heard of any girl ever suddenly falling in love with a boy because she'd seen him feeling sorry for himself.

If he had lost Dany as his friend, it had happened that day on the train. She couldn't take back what she said. And he couldn't stand the thought of knowing she thought so little of him. He actually felt energized by the prospect of living here the next few years, so much to see and do. 

'Maybe I really can get over her.'

He smiled, but it only lasted a moment; feeling too much like a performance he was putting on for himself.

* * *

Danielle had her arms crossed, standing on the porch of her childhood home. She couldn't think of it as her parents' house any longer. Her father was loading up the last of his belongings. She'd convinced her mother to go with her brother and his family for the day. Nothing good would come of them being in the same room right now.

Danielle didn't want to see her father right now either. But she still didn't feel like leaving the house. And staring daggers at her dad helped distract her from Coop's absence. It had been a week now since she'd read the letter.

She still cried from time to time, not bawling fits but when she caught herself thinking of him. If she saw a funny video and thought of showing it to him. When she looked out her bedroom window and saw no light on in his room.

When the last bell rang at school, she found herself stopping outside the classroom waiting for him to catch up and walk with her to the station.

Her dad finished securing the load and approached her. Her scowl withering in its intensity. Her dad walked over with his eyes downcast but raised them when he reached her.

He held out his house key for her to grab but she shook her head. "Mom said just keep it for now, in case you guys do decide to sell." 

Raul tucked the key in his pocket, rubbing his hand across the back of his head. "That's just something we discussed honey, it probably won't happen. Listen I know you want nothing to do with me right now, so I'm not gonna push. But once I get settled in at the new place, and you're ready to, I hope you'll come over. Maybe let me take you out to eat."

Dany couldn't bring herself to be hateful after what happened with Coop, so she kept her tone blunt but dispassionate. "Are you going to move in with your girlfriend?" 

Raul cast his eyes down in shame. "No, it's just me, she wasn't my girlfriend pumpkin we just…" 

The sentence hung in the air unfinished, she knew exactly what words he wasn't saying. Danielle's hurt over her parent's situation and the prospect of losing her childhood home wormed its way into her voice. "I don't think that makes it any better dad. I can't understand what you were thinking."

Raul looked at her again, he didn't look so brow beaten when he spoke. "Your mother and I have been through a lot together. We just got too comfortable and lost the passion." 

Without elaborating further, he leaned in for an awkward kiss on the cheek and then turned towards his vehicle. "Call me if you need anything sweetheart." 

Danielle looked after him for a minute as he pulled away from the curb. She knew her mother had never lost the passion for their marriage. His words sounded like a hollow excuse. As she turned to go back inside, she saw Christine glancing at her through the living room window of Coop's home.

Realizing that Christine must have seen the exchange between her and her father, she waved at Christine and walked over. Christine looked a little sheepish at being caught looking. 

Christine came to the front door and met Danielle outside. "Hey Dany."

Danielle smiled awkwardly. "Hi."

Christine grimaced a little bit as she started to speak. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to snoop or anything, things just looked tense, and I was worried."

Danielle gave a slight shake of her head. "It's okay, we weren't exactly being discreet. Since you saw my dad was taking his stuff with him, I'm sure you can guess what that means." 

Christine started to open her mouth to say sorry, but Danielle cut her off. "Please don't tell Coop, I don't know if you're talking to him at all, but I don't want him to know about any of this."

Christine analyzed Danielle for a moment before she said plainly. "You know my brother didn't say anything about why you two weren't talking. Does it have something to do with your parents?" 

Danielle hung her head. "I said some things I shouldn't have, and Coop ran off and I couldn't get a hold of him to explain and apologize before he left. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore, and I don't blame him. I don't want him to pity me or forgive me out of sympathy."

Christine cocked her head and pursed her lips while thinking for a moment before she blurted out.

"You two are kinda stupid for each other, you know that?" Danielle was taken aback.

Christine took a seat on the stoop and smoothed out her pants. "You know my brother is like a dog, right? You put a plate of food in front of him, he'll eat it. Dangle your hand in front of his mouth, he'll give it a lick. Rub his belly he'll wag his tail, you get my point. But if you kick him, he'll tuck that little tail of his and he'll run and hide. Because when a dog gets kicked it doesn't get mad.

"It gets sad because it thinks it did something to deserve the kick. My brother isn't avoiding you because he's mad at you. He didn't leave because he doesn't wanna see you. He's tucking tail and running because he thinks he doesn't deserve to be around you anymore. If you take back whatever you said—."

Danielle interrupted, fighting back tears. "You don't know what I said, I don't think it's something I can take back." 

Christine waved it off. "I know my brother, you might have spent as much time with him as me, but there's one aspect of his overactive teenage mind that I have way more insight into than you."

She paused for a moment for dramatic effect. "You, and how he feels about you. He'd gladly take whatever scraps you're willing to offer."

Christine got a serious look on her face. "That's not an invitation to toy with him. He might be a pain in the ass but he's still my brother. I'm just saying he would be happy knowing you felt the same way, if you do. Either way you should let him know he didn't do anything wrong."

Christine reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. "Coop lost his phone the day before he left, not sure where. He's got a new one now but it's an overseas number."

She stood up and held out the phone to Danielle. "He probably won't take a call from you. He doesn't like taking pity or charity. He's stubborn that way. For weeks after mom died, he refused to sleep in his own bed and could only fall asleep next to mine on the floor, like he was guarding me."

Christine's eyes got misty at that. "Like he was afraid whatever took her was gonna come for me next. Once he gets an idea in his head you practically have to beat it out of him."

Danielle took the phone. "Thank you, Christine."

Christine nodded and turned to open the door. "I'm gonna fix something to eat, just set it inside on the entry table when you're done. Don't worry about whatever it charges me. I'm making it his birthday present." 

Christine opened the door and slipped inside. Danielle looked down at the phone, seeing Coop's contact info pulled up already. Her hand started to shake a bit, and she lowered it.

Lifting her head and taking a deep breath, she raised the phone back up and pressed the call button. She brought the phone up to her ear and waited silently as it began to ring. It continued until she started to question the time of day and whether Coop would be asleep or not. 

Just as she was sure it would go to voicemail, the ringing abruptly stopped and she heard a chipper sounding Coop answer. "Hey sis, I thought you were glad to be rid of me. To what do I owe the surprise?"

Her resolve wavered. 'Is it really fair of me to call him now? Maybe he's better off if—'

Coop interrupted her thinking. "Christine, hello, can you hear me?" 

Danielle took another deep breath and spoke. "It's me Coop." Across the pacific, Cooper dropped his brand new phone.

* * *

Making a mental note to thank his uncle for buying him a new phone case, Cooper bent down to pick it up.

Bringing it to his ear he heard Danielle nervously calling to him. "Coop, are you there?"

She didn't continue and he steadied himself before responding. "I'm here."

It was just something he said. He wasn't quite sure how it had started, but it was something he said to reassure her from time to time that everything was gonna be okay. When he uttered it this time, he could hear Danielle get emotional on the other side. 

He could hear her sniffling and realized she was crying. "I'm sorry Coop, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I needed to tell you…"

She stopped, worried she was gonna hyperventilate. Meanwhile Coop was torn whether to console her or admonish her. He did this for her as much as for himself, so why did he feel guilty? 

She managed to get out. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you..." She stopped again, Coop let the tiniest sliver of hope pierce his stoic facade and tried to spur on the conversation he had previously been terrified to have.

With a joking tone he said. "Don't stop on my account."

He followed it up with a nervous laugh. His words hung in the air, before they both started laughing. It was a cathartic laugh, dispelling the tension. Alleviating the fear they both felt they might say the wrong thing.

After they both stopped laughing Danielle continued, somberly. "Coop my parents are getting a divorce, and they might sell our house. Not that it matters now that you're gone."

He wondered for a second what that had to do with their fight when it started to dawn on him. 

"That's why I was late to school that day. My mom found out my dad was having an affair. I was so pissed at him, and I didn't know if I was gonna have to move away.

"I wanted to tell you and then you said…and it was too much. Everything was bottled up, I took out what my dad did on you. I was afraid I'd have to leave, that I wouldn't get to see you anymore. I know that's no excuse for what I said or how I treated you, I need you to know that it was all me. You didn't do anything wrong and I just..." Any further words got lodged in her throat as she struggled with how to tell him how she felt.

Coop cut in before she could start back up. "I'm giving you a pass." 

Danielle sniffled again, disbelief evident in her voice. "What?"

Cooper continued, more confidently. "The day my mom died, do you remember what happened?"

Danielle wasn't ready for the shift in conversation, so it took her a second to respond. "Your dad asked my parents to bring you home with us, right? And he came to pick you up later that night."

Cooper elaborated. "But what happened when you tried to comfort me?" 

Danielle understood. "You got upset with me. You said I still had a mom so what would I know about it."

Cooper nodded and smiled. "And then you hugged me, even though I lashed out at you. On my worst day I took it out on you, and you were still there for me."

Coop stopped, he had been so resolute that nothing could fix this. But he really had wanted an excuse, anything that would explain how she could say those things. She might not love him like he wished she would, but at least she didn't hate him. "So, I'm not gonna hold what I'm sure is your worst day against you."

He could tell Danielle was trying hard not to choke up. "But you left because of me, I should have just told you how—."

Coop cut her off. "I didn't have a choice, my dad made me come."

He said it before he could stop himself. Before he left, when he thought she hated him, if she would have called him apologizing, taking it all back it would have made him the happiest man alive.

Now that he understood why she had rejected him so horribly, hearing her be in pain over it tore him up inside.

He continued, deciding maybe he could save some face and shrink the elephant in the room. "That's why I said what I said. I was worried what would happen while I was away. I got ahead of myself and was scared at the thought of leaving you behind. I think I made myself believe there were feelings there when there weren't."

Before she could cut in, he continued. "But my head's clear now, I've had time to think about it here. I'm sorry that I did it. All I care about now is making the best of the next few years and coming home." 

She felt a stab in her heart at that. She had wanted to tell him how she felt about him. She didn't believe what he was saying. She had seen the truth in his eyes that day. She might not have destroyed their friendship, but apparently his feelings had cooled because of what she said.

'I made him out to be a jerk for loving me, of course. Why would he still feel that way?'

But now that she thought about it, he hadn't said he was in love with her, only that he cared about her. She hadn't let him speak long enough to be able to say anything about love. Maybe she'd nipped his feelings in the bud before they could develop into that? Did that mean they were gone, never to return?

While she was contemplating this, Cooper began speaking again. "So, I say, just pretend that day never happened. When you and I got on the train you told me about your parents, and I told you about moving to Japan."

Danielle had a lot of conflicting emotions swirling within her. But at this moment whatever kept Cooper in her life was what she wanted. "You mean it?" 

Cooper nodded, then shook his head when he remembered she couldn't see him. "I do, so please, never bring it up again." She heard him force a laugh, as if it had just been a funny misunderstanding. "It didn't happen. just forget what I said, okay?"

Danielle hesitated, she felt like she was closing a door she wasn't ready to. But she knew she didn't have the right to expect anything from Coop on that front at the moment.

She knew she could be a little hard to handle sometimes, pigheaded and abrupt. She had always thought those things were fine when looking for a friend, but not a girlfriend. She wasn't much of a girly girl growing up. She liked playing sports and riding horses more than putting on make-up and going to the mall.

But it turned out despite all her insecurities he had managed to develop feelings for her. And it had been her who had caused him to lose those feelings. So, she couldn't blame him for wanting to deny they had ever existed. "Danielle, are you still there?"

Coop's voice brought her back to the present. "Yeah, if you're willing to look past it then okay, it never happened."

She couldn't hide the sadness that lingered at the end of that sentence. Cooper mentally sighed, he had heard her voice and all his conviction went out the window.

He changed his tone, asking her while sounding concerned. "So, is your mom okay? I mean obviously not okay, but is she working through it?"

Danielle smiled at the familiar feeling of being able to talk to him effortlessly about the most difficult things. "Yeah, she's putting one foot in front of the other. Us kids are here to support her too so, you know, we're trying to keep her occupied."

Coop walked out of his room in the traditional style Japanese house he and his father were moving into. He walked outside, onto the wraparound porch prevalent on the old houses. "Have you talked with your dad much since you found out?"

Danielle stretched, letting herself get comfortable. "Not until today, I'm the only one home and he came to grab most of his stuff. I haven't really been in the mood to talk lately." He started to ask then realized she was saying why by not saying it.

'She's been lonely cause I'm not there.'

He pushed down the happy and yet also unhappy thought. He deflected his inner musing by shifting the conversation. "You know we're gonna have a hard time studying together now. I'm fifteen hours ahead of you."

Danielle furrowed her brow. "Study together? Aren't you going to school in Japan?"

Cooper laughed wholeheartedly on the other side. "There was no way my dad was letting that tuition check go to waste. They enrolled me in some distance learning program for kids that travel with their parents. It's all online, and I have access to a web-cam feed showing the classroom. It also saves a recording so I can watch it when it fits in with my sleep schedule."

Danielle thought about the time difference. "So, you'll probably wake up every day when I'm getting out of school."

Coop thought about it and nodded. "Yup, and you'll be going to bed just after noon my time."

She sounded hopeful as she offered. "So then if you want to, when I get out of school, I'll either have practice, or whatever, and then I'll do my homework/studying. That'll give you time to do your regular coursework, then you and I can check each other's work."

Cooper agreed that would work, since he preferred to get all his schoolwork out of the way at one time. "That sounds good, my gyms don't get together until later in the afternoon."

"What clubs are you doing?"

Coop shrugged his shoulders, already forgetting where he was. "Same stuff I was doing back home, except I'm also gonna be doing Kendo training once a week. Figured it would be a waste to come here and not try it out."

Danielle rolled her eyes. "Is that the one where you fight with wooden swords?"

Coop got pensive. "I think they are actually made out of bamboo. Oh I also got my dad to sign off on me going to a riding school, I'm getting a motorcycle!"

Danielle's mouth dropped. "Cooper Bogdan, you will not buy a crotch rocket!"

Cooper laughed deep in his chest. "Remember when I showed you Black Rain? It's gonna be just like that, I'm getting a leather jacket and some aviator glasses."

She would reach through the phone and slap him if she could. "If you hurt yourself, I'll never forgive you."

"I won't, I promise. Listen, I'll email the instructors and see if they can put us together for group projects as much as possible, if you're okay with that?"

Danielle closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds great."

Neither one wanted the conversation to end, but they both knew they were dragging it out at this point. And the mood still had that slight bit of tension that was making both of them anxious.

Coop was reluctantly the first to budge. "Well, I'll work on that, and I'll also send you a link for an app that'll let us do video-calling on our PC's."

Danielle's voice got just a little bit smaller. "Okay."

Cooper turned his head to the sky. 'Someone please give me the strength to endure this girl.' "I'll talk to you in a bit, bye."

She couldn't think of how to say goodbye, everything that popped into her head sounded weak. Once the pause had gone on an awkward amount of time she blurted out. "Bye luvya!"

Danielle ended the call. Flailing her arms, surprised at her own words. She brought a hand up to her mouth and with wide eyes opened the Bogdan's front door to place Christine's phone on the table.

Meanwhile, just outside Tokyo, Cooper was left to utter. "What the fuck was that?"