A Talk Pt. 4

Sapphire POV:

"Haaaah…. Fine then…. I guess you should get your answers," I state with shaky determination.

Don't regret it….

I slowly sat up in my bed, and Blake let go of my ear. One by one I put my gaze on everyone in the room, and, one by one, I convinced myself that they deserved some sort of answers; that leaving them completely in the dark would cause too many problems to be logically justified, but, no matter how much logic and reasoning I throw at myself, I just can't shake that voice in the back of my head telling me to "just leave it all in the past," "That I have no reason to bring it all up to surface again," and "This will only lead to regret."

Despite my greatest efforts, I can't tune it out; I just can't. Every time I try to find the courage to say something, that voice just shoots it down.

While I was having my mental debate, I put my weight onto my hands that I had placed behind me.

With me now leaning into my arms, I slowly started, "Well, it's a bit of a long story…"

Weiss didn't let my stalling fly though and said, "We have time, but, if you don't want to miss breakfast, you better get on with it."

Right…

I don't have all day to convince myself. I'm just going to have to push myself through, even if I'm uncertain.

I closed my eyes and gently took a deep breath. My thoughts were far too chaotic, and they would only hinder me.

I slowly let out that breath and opened my eyes. With new mental clarity, I observed my teammates.

Weiss was practically at the edge of my seat, and was practically bursting at the seams with anticipation; her pale-blue eyes were practically cemented in place as she waited for me to start. I could tell that she wanted to yell out something like, "Get on with it already!" but her consideration for me kept her from doing so.

Yang is just patiently sitting on Blake's bed. Not a hind of anxiousness could be found in her lilac eyes. She was as steady as a rock, waiting for me to talk. Yang's reliability really shines through in moments like this. She practically oozes that motherly vibe of unconditional love. In great contrast to her usual fire temperament, her atmosphere now just seems so calming.

Ruby is radiating pure supportiveness and worry. Her silver eyes unwaveringly gaze at me. When she is not messing around and acting like a kid, not that I mind, it's cute, her caring side really shines through. Before coming to Beacon, I would have never believed someone could be so kind, but it also scares me. This world has its way of making life difficult for the kindhearted, and Ruby is a shining target. I just hope nothing happens that would make her lose that bright smile of hers.

Finally Blake, the complicated look on her face is hard to miss. She very obviously wants to know my story, but she also doesn't. Like she said earlier, she's seen many people with my condition, and that has likely made her draw her own conclusions.

Enough stalling…

After another deep breath, I spoke, "As you have probably gathered, that little incident back there was due to some...difficult reasons to talk about."

No one dared to say a word for fear of breaking the determination I spent so long gathering, but the looks on their faces telling me to continue were obvious, so I did.

"I didn't have the... best of childhoods. In fact, up until I met you all, I don't think I had much of a 'life' at all, so... Thank you for that, truly. If it weren't for you all, I probably would have run back to my little shack in the woods by now," I started.

The atmosphere seemed to grow lighter from my words of gratitude and poor attempt at a joke.

"Anyway… " I pause, " For as long as I can remember, I have been an orphan."

And the mood dropped down again.

…

..

.

In the awkward silence, Weiss found the courage to say something.

"Your parents… are they…?" She asked, beating around the bush.

I answered instantly, "Dead? I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?!" SHe exclaimed frustratedly.

Again I answered instantly, "Just that. I don't know. I have no memory of my parents."

…

..

.

"Anyway, from before I could remember, I was put on a… Program… of sorts," I stated.

No one said a word while I paused my words. This is not the easiest thing to talk about, and they know that.

I continued, "They called it Project Eden. They would gather "Compatible" children from all over the world and gather them all in their facility deep in the tundras of Solitas."

Weiss suddenly interjected, " Impossible! No one is able to survive out there for long! How could anyone build anything out there!"

I just calmly replied, "You may think so, but where better to hide something than in a place no one would ever go?"

At my question, Blake suddenly interjected, "What do you mean?"

She asked that even knowing full well my implications. I could see it in her eyes that she wanted me to deny it, but I'm afraid I can't.

"This wasn't exactly a legal operation, Blake. Who in their right mind would allow them to do what they did?" I beat around the bush, but it was enough for her to understand.

"What did they do…?" Blake asked, not wanting to hear the answer.

I stiffen up at that question, and I feel my hands start to shake. Even trying to talk about those tortuous tests we were forced to participate in driving every cell in my body to try and stop me. My words get stuck in my throat, and I feel panic rise up from the pit of my stomach.

"Um..uh," was all I could get out.

I felt the world start to spin around me and nausea builds up in my stomach. Tears start to build up in my eyes and start to fall.

"Do...do I have to…?" I shakily mutter out.

No matter how much I convinced myself that telling them was going to be fine, once I got to the point of actually telling them, I couldn't. I just couldn't. Even just thinking about those awful experiments, the beatings, I...I…

I just shut down.

I looked at my teammates through my eyes, blurry with tears, and just hugged my knees to my chest.

I'm sorry guys.

Don't hate me…

I just can't...