132 [Bonus chapter]Ch. 131: Live By The Blade

"Asshole," I mutter under my breath, flopping back onto my sofa as if every muscle in my body has just given out. The pins in my hair pinch my skull, but they're easy to tune out.

My eyes have that plastered sensation that arises when you don't sleep enough so I shut my eyes for a bit. But when they shut, I see the same things I saw last night.

"Emma!" I say before my mind can register what my mouth is doing. The stoic maid is typically the best person to speak to when my stomach is in knots like this. And yet, I sent her away last night. She must hate me now, doesn't she?

I can't wait for the empress to approach Emma, just so we can end this farce sooner and I can have her by my side. We've been through the most harrowing events together, yet this is a trial I am undergoing alone. I could call her here, in a moment of selfishness. But with the empress' suspicions at a height after what I did to Julia yesterday, it would topple down the house of cards I've precariously built.