244 A Liar With Regrets

*WARNING: The following content may contain mildly mature content that may not be suitable for younger audiences.

"Sun…" Rin whispered, her voice faint and small.

She felt weak and light-headed, yet strangely resolute as if a great weight had lifted from her. Then, her legs weakened.

"Rin!" An Sun rushed to her side, binding his arms tightly around her shoulders.

The two of them leaned against the bed, sitting on the cold wood floors. He held up her bloody hand. The cuts in her fingers went deep, almost to the bone. His hands trembled.

"Shit. It's okay. You'll be okay." He softly tried to console her and kissed the top of her sweaty head.

An Sun quickly ripped a piece of the blanket from her bed and bound it around her wound, holding it close to his chest. She winced as he tightened the knot.

"Sorry," He grimaced, his voice low and deep.

"It's all right," Rin reassured softly.

He looked down at her, and she saw the pull her words had on him, the struggle in his eyes. He swallowed, and his arms clenched her shoulders tighter.

"Rin…I…"

Just then, a group of men burst through the door, two being her grandfather and uncle.

"What happened?!" Bai Han ran to her and knelt to grip her face in his large hands, turning it side to side. "Are you hurt? Where are they?"

An Sun stood up. "They seem to be gone."

"Then send someone to catch them!" Bai Han roared.

"There's no need. We can't waste any resources or energy. They're gone." Rin lightly patted her grandfather's hand. When he saw her bandaged up hand, his eyes narrowed.

"Sit down." Bai Han urged her onto the bed and grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around her. Rubbing the blood from her lips, he forced her head against his shoulder.

While she leaned on her grandfather's shoulder, more men entered, including the emperor. When he asked what had happened, Rin explained in full detail. At the end, everyone was certain of what had just taken place.

The An Clan had tried kidnapping their strategist.

"Those bastards…" Bai Han's voice was thick with anger.

Sitting on her side, General Guo rubbed her hand in reassurance. He grunted to Bai Han's words.

"For now, you should sleep in my room. It's safer." Bai Han offered.

"Commander Bai is right. We can't take any risks of another attack." The emperor agreed.

Rin looked up at them and sighed but nodded her head. She also did not want to take the risk.

"All right. Everyone, go back to bed. We will discuss tonight's events further in the morning. And make sure you all stay on guard." The emperor warned and retreated to his room, a eunuch and a group of guards following close behind him.

"Finally, I can get some fucking rest." General Donghai grumbled and left the group.

"How can we fall asleep after what just happened?" Fan Mingli murmured.

"Don't be such a wimp. Besides, with me by your side, you should rest easy." Yin Changpu boasted with a smirk. His eyes glanced to the side where Jin Yue happened to be.

"Shall I also rest in your room, Commander Bai?" Jin Yue asked.

"No. You go rest." Bai Han reassured.

Nodding her head, Jin Yue turned around, ignoring a certain man's intense stare on her back.

"Come on. Let's get you to a physician first to dress your wound." General Guo guided Rin to the side.

Following behind her uncle and grandfather, a sudden tug pulled her back. When she glanced over her shoulder, Rin's eyes widened.

"Sun?"

An Sun stared at her for a moment and only then realized what he was doing. As if her hand was on fire, he let go, taking a step back. His face was strangely empty of expression, but the hands by his side clenched into fists. She could see fires from the torches on the wall, dancing in the gray of his eyes.

"…I'm sorry." Was all he said before turning away.

Rin watched him leave in a daze. She felt a searing pain in her heart as she could hear the coldness in An Sun's words.

I'm sorry…

What exactly was he sorry for?

Slowly, something within her heart cracked.

…

After the attack, tension within the imperial palace grew. That morning everyone assembled to discuss what had happened…when An Sun suddenly revealed something shocking.

"What?" Bai Han abruptly pushed himself to his feet. "You mean to tell us that you knew he wanted my grandson, and you didn't say anything?!"

"Han, calm down." General Guo rested his hand on Bai Han's shoulder, but it was shrugged off.

"No, I won't. If he had told us, we would have been more prepared for their attacks! Because of him, my grandson…"

"Grandfather, that's enough." Rin stared at him with stern eyes. "Even if Sun told us, no one would expect the An Clan to secretly attack. What matters now is that we know and will be prepared if it happens again."

Gritting his teeth, Bai Han reluctantly sat back down. He shot a glare in An Sun's direction. The young man stared back at him before lowering his gaze to the floor.

"I'm sorry. I should have said something sooner. I didn't want to cause any unnecessary panic or…" He paused, his eyes looking around the room. Even though he didn't say anything more, the others could guess what he was thinking.

If An Sun had told them the truth and more than one person heard of it…someone might have sold them out and tried to get rid of Rin themselves.

The emperor sighed. "You were right to do so. Telling us would have done more harm than good. All we can do now is be ready and prepared for anything and everything that is to come."

Everyone within the room nodded their heads.

"And don't worry kid, if anyone does betray their own men, I will personally tear out their ballsack." General Donghai cackled and patted Rin on the back.

Giving him a look of disbelief, she awkwardly thanked him. With the meeting adjourned, everyone quickly went back to their tasks. Rin turned to look at An Sun only to find he had already left. She could only grit her teeth and attend to her duties.

It was the quiet hours of late afternoon; the palace had gone quiet. Everyone was wrapping up their training for the day. Rin took the longest way to the training grounds, through the garden's twisting path, to the house where the arms were kept.

Rin stood in the doorway and went to select her practice weapon, a sword, slightly blunted at the tip.

She needed to cool off some steam.

Walking to the stone circle surrounded by polished columns on every side, she paused at the entrance. Someone was already there.

With a sword in his hand, the man moved faster than her eye could follow. The blade whirled, flashing forward, reversed, and then flashed behind. His feet moved across the ground like a dancer, never still, never missing a step.

Rin could not move, only watching. She almost did not breathe. His face was calm and blank, not tensed with effort. His movements were so precise, and her heart jumped every time he made a pass.

He stopped, suddenly. She could hear his breaths. They were louder than usual in the still afternoon air. Loose strands of black hair fell from his tied up bun.

Sensing her presence, An Sun shifted. He stared at her, eyes still like a beast. Rin fell in a trance, unable to stop her gaze from watching the beads of sweat falling from his cheeks and down to his throat.

She stepped forward, legs slightly quivering. "Fight me."

An Sun's breath caught in his throat, brows furrowed. "What?"

"You heard me. I said fight me." Rin stepped closer, the sword in her hand gripped tightly.

"But your hand…"

"I still have another."

His eyes met hers, face twisting. They were dark, deep, and mesmerizing. From the beginning, her legs stepped toward him until she could practically feel his warm breath fanning against her face.

"Afraid?" Her eyes were defiant. A small smile on her face.

He stared at her for a moment, eyes unreadable. "No."

"Well, you should be. I still have a bone to pick with you." Rin smirked. There was a playfulness to it. A force that pulled him forward. "So fight me."

An Sun regarded her a moment, in silence. Over both of them, the trees rustled.

"Very well." He said.

In return, Rin gave a pleased grin and stepped back, sword held out to keep her at bay. An Sun watched her, a fire in his eyes. They circled, in high guard.

Then, Rin sprang to her feet and drove at him, the longsword alive in her hands. An Sun jumped back, but she followed, pushing the attack. No sooner did he turn to slash his sword, she was upon him. The swords kissed and sprang apart, clashing again.

Both of their blood was singing. This was what they were meant for; both never felt so alive as when they were fighting, with death balanced on every stroke.

Breathless, An Sun stepped back and let the point of the sword fall to the ground, giving her a moment of respite.

"Not bad for using one hand," He was smiling now.

Rin took a slow deep breath, her eyes regarding him carefully. It heartened her to see him smile.

Instead of saying anything in return, she whirled the blade back up above her head and flew at him again. The dance went on.

An Sun parried and tried to counter-thrust, only for the two of them to meet face to face, arms and swords high, each surprised.

They stared at one another, breaths quick and heavy. An Sun reacted first, using hands and sword grip to pry Rin's sword from her hands. She let it go and turned to strike him high in the chest. An Sun twisted just in time, taking the blow to his side. It was surprisingly gentle.

He grabbed her hands and twirled her around and pinned her against his chest. She struggled with all her strength, but could not free herself from his grasp.

"Are you done?" An Sun murmured against her hair. He pulled them back to lean against a pillar.

He let her hands slip loose, and Rin turned herself around to face him, his arms still around her. She looked up, eyes serious.

"You lied." She whispered. "You said you didn't have any regrets."

An Sun stared down at her, eyes wide. The words were loud in the silence of the afternoon.

For a moment, he was still. Then he said, "I didn't lie. And I don't regret anything."

Her fists clenched into his shirt. "Then why…"

"Rin, look at me." He cupped her cheeks softly. "I'm sorry…"

"Why? Why are you sorry?" She felt anger rise inside her.

"I…" Rin saw the struggle on his face.

Affection was strange to him, a foreign thing. He was hurt but did not know how to speak of it.

"All my life I never...I never knew what fear was. I was reckless, brave, and cared little for those around me." He stroked her cheek longingly. "That's changed since I met you. Rin, Bai Lan, whoever you are...I don't want to lose you. I want to protect you from harm. But…I'm not strong enough. Not yet." Each word he spoke was carefully placed.

Shock flashed in Rin's emerald eyes. Her lips trembled. "So that's why...Is that why you avoided me? Fool...You're such a fool! You said you had no regrets, so stand by your words. Otherwise, what is the point in protecting me? How I felt, you don't even—" There were tears in her eyes. She wiped them away angrily.

So foolish! For her to cry over such a thing, it was foolish! It was all because of him that she was like this!

When Rin lifted her flushed, angry face, An Sun kissed the tears from her eyes before they could fall. At one moment, he was looking into her face, helpless and imploring. And at the next, he was pressing his lips to hers, catching her up in a soft, opened warmth that breathed sweetness into her throat.

Without thinking, her trembling fingers clutched against his back with desperate strength, as if to hold him safe forever in the shelter of her arms. When he pulled back, he kissed her gently on the brow.

"Rin…" His deep voice whispered her name lovingly. His breath smelled of mulled wine and cloves, so sweet.

Goosebumps rose on her pale skin as the coldness crept up her thighs and kissed her arms. She held onto him tightly, eyes deep into his.

"You're still an idiot." Rin stared at him with a frown.

With a smile as warm as the sunrise, An Sun leaned close and kissed her gently on the cheek. Before she had time to say anything, he had pulled her close and pressed his lips down on hers.

He smelled of sweat, salt and leather, and the hardness of his chest pressed against her breasts as he crushed her hard against him.

One hand held her by the shoulder while the other slid down her spine to the small of her back, and her mouth opened for his tongue. It was long, soft, and slick inside her warm mouth.

She reached up and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him closer. His skin was warm beneath her fingers. When her thumb brushed underneath his ear, he moaned into her mouth, teeth biting her bottom lip.

It was a long kiss, though how long Rin could not have said. When they finally broke apart, she was flushed.

"I can not see the future," She whispered. "But no matter what is to happen in the end, I will always fight to live. Can you promise me you will do the same?"

"Yes." His voice was thick.

Their heads were leaning close, breaths joined. Rin touched his black hair, kissed by darkness. She had grown to love it very much. With a content sigh, Rin pulled him close into her arms as he rested his chin against her head.

The crack in her heart, melting from the flames of her emotions.

After a while, the two left the training grounds, hand in hand, occasionally nudging the other playfully.

When they came upon the entrance, they stopped. Rin quickly let go of An Sun's hand and cleared her throat.

"Uncle Guo."

The large man stared between the two with cold, penetrating eyes.

"Both of you, come with me."