The fuck kind of shit is this?

AN: I decided to do a boondocks, Cartoon Universe novel. Aliens, monsters, espers, time traveler are in this.

My mind is messed up. I wake up in the hospital...that's right I'm Riley Freeman...

My brother Huey told me to wear a vest...I mean a vest is pretty gay... I should have listened to him but...damn it...I'm not a weak ass...I'm not crying...

"if only I was stronger"

Suddenly grandad comes in the room

Grandad: you damn kid you gonna give me a heart attack

Huey: I told you should have worn your vest

Riley: hey what do you mean by that. No worried asking if I'm alright no seeing if everything

Grandad: you're lucky you survive...I can't take this much longer... first my car boat had exploded now this...do you know how long you been here and the hospital bill is costing me.

Riley: grandad why are you talking like my life isn't worth that much

Grandad: it isn't, Luckily your Uncle called from brazil. Well, he's not your real uncle but your godfather so pretty much the same difference. He was your parent's best friend. They own a dojo...

Riley: Grandad, I'm already hurting I don't think I can handle another long story.

Grandad then hits me in the head

Grandad: now boys, when your father was younger Yuichiro Matsuda they were close friends and always were always getting in trouble. Well, they like to compete against each other in everything. They even thought each other had feelings for the girl they liked...and mmhmm damn your mother was fine back in those days. If your grandma wasn't alive I would have

Riley: eww gross

Huey: Grandad! thats our mother

Grandad: you should be proud your mom was so fine. anyway, Your father went training there when he was your age. he stopped being reckless and because of that, he becomes a detective.

Riley: Aww man, so you're saying that pops worked for the popo. That traitor

Grandad: Yup he was one of the best detectives...haha man he was my pride. I hear he was talking to your uncle about a case before the accident...anyway, your father was a great man after going there. He could walk on water and teleport. well, he gets it from me. who similar to my grandad indiana jones freeman... You boys take after our ancestor Sun Wukong

Huey: Grandad Sun Wukong was a monkey king

Grandad: and how is he related to us?

Grandad: boy don't you know they used to call us monkeys back in the day as an insult. Wukong is blackanese. He was later the first Freeman. He was so smooth and everyone loved him.

Huey: grandad, Sun Wukong had everyone despised him.

Grandad: No that's was a lie. Everyone loved him and he was all-powerful. You see when he was born, he was the most beautiful baby. He had eyes so beautiful that you go blind if you look at them

Huey: laser eyes

Grandad: He was so great that he became the top warrior as a baby. Oh, and he could walk and talk at 2 months. and became the strongest at 1. one day there was a huge beast that attacked them so Sun Wukong Freeman led the tribe past a waterful. and they discovered a secret hideout and full of food, treasure and beautiful houses. So they named him the African King. Even at a baby he had all the woman swoon all over him but one day he realizes. He dies one day so he went on a journey

Then he met with this immortal sage guy who takes him as an apprentice who gave him the name Sun Wukong

Riley: Wait Grandad wasn't his name already Sun Wukong

Grandad; no he was just called strongest then king

Huey: wait what does this have to do with our father friend

Grandad: I just got to it. the immortal sage was the person who trained a relative of his so he was a fellow disciple.

Riley: wait if he is immortal then he should be alive right. how did he die

Grandad: boy who said he is dead. I hear that he is still in Asia...umm...yeah he's in India

Riley: Grandad you crazy India isn't in Asia its in India. I mean they are too brown to be asian

Grandad: boy...how dumb are you. what are they teaching you in school...I am worried about your future...Anyway Sun Wukong started learning how to become immortal from him but one day he learns that gods don't like this way and they sent 3 catastrophes to kill him every 500 years, Lightning, if that doesn't work fire and if that doesn't work they just straight-up disintegrate him...erase him, Riley...

The sage taught him how to survive this, by teaching him the multiform technique to transform into any being and he wouldn't be affected by the 3 oh and he taught him how to fly and Sun Wukong rode clouds because he was that cool. However, he became too good and the sage was worried that he gets surpassed and kicked him out

Huey: wasn't it because he played tricks on everyone...

Grandad: no he was just too amazing. Anyway, he returned home and saw some king trying to use his people as slaves so Wukong beats him up and saved them. Wukong being so wise formed an Army for his nation so this wouldn't happen again. So he goes to meet some water dragons in the ocean. Oh did I tell you he can breath in water well he can? he goes there they say sure if you can take this staff that ways 18 Tons he can have that. It can change shape and stuff. Wukong easily takes it. They were scared of his power so much they gave him superpower clothes. That made him the hit of all of his kingdom

He then makes a statue of himself outside that was up to the sky. The other kingdoms' demons were so awed of him they formed an alliance.

Riley: there are now demons!

Grandad: there were always demons,

Riley: oh yeah that old man you killed came back to life...

Grandad: ...well one day he was kidnapped while he was sleeping by some servants of the devil and carried him off to the underworld. Wukong was pissed because this was technically death so he starts bashing his way out of hell going to the tower of darkness to complain to the kings of hell. The kings are like there must be a mistake because there must be a bunch of people named Sun Wukong.

Wukong didn't believe this and asked to see where this was written. So they looked through the paperwork of all the names and Sun Wukong saw his name and erased his name and all the other names of his tribe he can think of. freeing them from the underworld gods. He then makes his escape and bashes his way out.

The emperor of heaven was jealous and wanted him arrested, but one of his agents was like no let's give him a position, there everything he does make him look better. Also if not you can discipline him if he does anything goes wrong.

At first Wukong was happy with the position and then learned it was the lowerest position, lower than the shit shoveler. Wukong was pissed and based out of heaven and returned to earth

Later he called himself the great sage equal to heaven out of spite. The Emperor got upset about that and sent several of his strongest warriors to come at him and drag him back

Wukong being so kind was like I just want to be called Great Sage equal to heaven.

But they challenge him but being so powerful Wukong one hits them killing them.

The Emperor was angry and was about to try to exucute him but was stopped by his adviser just telling him to give him an empty title and Wukong being kind accepted that title. plus it came with perks being waited on day and night by beautiful virgin (well former virgin after meeting Wukong) Goddess

The emperor was glad but feared Wukong would get bored and cause chaos so he assigned a harmless and easy job to tend this garden of the fruit of immortality.

Riley: let me guess, he ate that right, then there was a big party he snuck to and got more immortal stuff like drinks and food, and pills then they started hatting on him for stealing their stuff from him so he ran. The Emporer then got all his people together and probably like oh no he took my booze DEATH. so he sent everyone after him, then there was a huge war as Wukong was crushing everyone and suddenly

Grandad: wait let me finish

Riley: Please your story is so cliche

Grandad: no its get really good. listen the emperor sends a strong warrior that rivals his and their fight shook the world but it becomes too powerful that the Wukong army ran away but Wukong beat this guy. but then he was suckered punch and captured by some of the emperor cops. with cursed chains. You see that's why black people today are no longer good around cops. Well after that he was forced to prison for years. but they felt they could use him to aid them in their work and made him a slave. Seeing how powerful and strong he was. They felt oh black guys most all be strong and started capturing more black guys.

Well he didn't want to be a slave his whole life so he made a deal with the Emperor wife who he was with. That a few times. She agreed if he helped this monk he would gain his freedom.

Riley: Let me guess after all his work he was free and called himself freeman...well there was no such thing as slavery, I mean what kind of N******would work for free. ..wait if he was immortal how did he die? You made that all upright

Grandad: I made nothing up. He was immortal, you missed the part on where he fought and killed many gods and... blah blah blah....and now left his inheritance staff to his descendant

Riley: whatever grandad...all I can say is he was definitely black. I mean, robbing people, taking of gangs, drivebys, even stilling bitches. yup a true N*******

Grandad: anyway he was good but he always caused trouble and was reckless

Riley: wait weren't you complimenting him earlier

Grandad ignored him: so you will go with your uncle for a while

Riley: what about Huey. Why isn't he going

Grandad: Huey didn't get shot!

Riley: man you always hating on me. Huey should have said something

Riley was sent to Brazil and went to the dojo. While a year later Huey won a study abroad at a Yoga temple for 7 years

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I looked at the dojo and its in crappy shape. the internet sucks and there are only a few people around.

Riley: ugh this place is worse than back home

Suddenly I got hit on the head really hard

Riley: ouch what the hell.

he got hit on the head again

Girl: Watch your language boy. also this place isn't a dump its a holy land...oh your the new brat right. I'm Laura.

Riley: I'm not brat I'm Riley you bitch

Laura punched me in the eye causing me a black eye

Laura: didn't you learn not to call girls bitches...looks like your big sister is going to have to educate you...

Riley knew he would go through hell...

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8 years had passed since that day...Riley had gone through a lot. Right now he is on the roof opposite of a gangsters hideout. Listening to music. as he looks at their hideout.

Riley: now...whats the perfect song for breaking necks...