4 The bitch (life / literally this time) of Rylan Smith

Well, hello again, dear reader.

Feeling good, me too.

Huh? Why am I so giddy?

Well, dear friend, because things are going my way for the time being, so im going to enjoy myself as much as possible because there's a shit storm of chaotic thing going to come my way in a month and a few days.

Although I don't want to, I am "obligated" recap "certain" events in my new life.

Okay, let's start with the family situation.

First, let's start with my age. I'm currently 16, I became 16 a couple of months ago, so as you know, summer is a year older than me, and morty is 2 years younger than me.

Next in the tour is how I met Rick when I was one and half years old, although my mind says that's one crazy motherfucker, that's real I looked into it, Rick cares a lot about his grandchildren.

While his time with morty and summer is considered by normal by people, well normal with a touch of si-fi shit.

Our first meeting was, uh, weird.

When I say weird, you know how weird it was.

It happened like this, but before I tell how we met, let me make something clear, I don't consider Jerry my dad, I consider him comedic relief.

And Beth, well, Beth to me is something like a step-mom, although I never had one.

We get along okay, except when she says I'm not allowed to do this and that.

Now, onto my meeting with Rick.

It was a regular day, I did what every genius reincarnated would do, read a shit ton of books so that I could slack off for the rest of my life.

I was in the zone, went 3 and half hours reading books without noticing someone watching me, I was really disappointed in my situational awareness that day, although I added situational awareness training in the future.

Rick was watching me read a book for 3 and half hours while drinking booze from time to time, so when I got hungry and got up to go tell Beth, I'm hungry, I saw him siting in front of me, real close, invading somthing called personal space.

Me being startled shouted "what the fuck?!" And he spitted all the booze in his mouth in my face, he started performing a shit ton of test on me, now although I didn't show anything on my face I was sweating inside.

After failing to get any results that told him I was someone else, he started interrogating me, Being the best humanity has to offer I obviously have steel balls, so while I was nervous inside, I argued with him and told him how I was a genius and stuff, while pleading my case with cold logic and a couple of more tests he bought the lie, well it's not a lie really, I am a genius.

He asked me 2 questions that were super easy to answer. Sometimes, I wonder if his iq got better after season 1.

Anyway, his question was that if I was a genius, why did my "parents" not tell him about it, cuase Beth and Jerry would obviously brag.

I told him how I found out I was different from everyone else and how I saw on TV that different people get dissected.

His his second question was how I learned what "what the fuck" meant.

I obviously told him from tv.

After that whole ordeal, we got along just fine.

I obviously abused the shit out of having rick as my grandfather, so I showed him how I'm so smart and already finished high school material and am reading college level stuff, so I asked him if he could hive me more books when I finished college level stuff.

My relationship with summer was okay, we were pretty close, until she became a teenager and became the bitch you see in the show.

My relationship with morty, on the other hand, was really different. He was so whiny and nervous about everything that we don't have a deep bond, I mean, if he was being bullied, I would intervene, but I would ignore him most of the time.

Rick kinda disappeared when morty turned 3, I guess the only reason he stuck around that long was because he thought he needed to "guide" me because he's the smartest man in the universe. For now.

That's right. I'm gonna surpass Rick in a few years, and that's only because I don't have as much experience and variety in the knowledge that I possess.

Although I surpassed Rick in combat when I was 12.

That's right, being humanity's best, I have a lot of perks.

Increased physical abilities, I can lift a total of 3.4 ton worth of weight, that means all I gotta do to kill someone is punched them a little hard, I can run a little slower than a cheetah.

Increased mental capabilities, I'm smarter than Rick, well the one I know anyways, my hand eye coordination is through the roof, my sense of balance is really good, not spider-man good but that's easily fixed, If I invent a spiderman serum.

Finally, he heightened emotions, the bane of my existence, imagine the pain rick is feeling, add that my rage from being killed by Rob, and amplify them 100 times, for a while I was depressed, so me and my genius mind created a serum, that dulled negative emotions.

Well, it backfired horribly, my sense of shame is gone, like Blade, not vampire hunter blade the normal one from community.

My moral compass is broken AF, I can commit genocide and don't flinch now, I don't really feel anger that much anymore or alone.

Ironically, sadness and cringeness are my only remaining negative emotions.

If you wonder how I feel now, I basically feel high and happy or indifferent all the time. Also, my consciousness became younger, so I'm more child like now.

My daily schedule from 2 to 8 was studying and expirementing like hell until I was able to create my own portal gun, I took a page from the fact that Rick had limited portal charges and that it was lost or destroyed all the time, so I made mine under my watch, now when I portal somewhere, I make the same pose as spider man, I also made the charges for like the cartridges spider-man form the mcu carried, I put them in my lab coat, yes I have a lab coat, yes I copied it from Rick, yes I tried a regular coat, it didn't feel right for some reason.

From 8 to now, I just made cool gadgets for myself, watched a ton of cartoons , TV shows and movies, slacked off a lot, and went to school, while hiding the fact that I'm a genius from my family for comedic effect, like sheldon said "I know I have to wait a long time but it's going to be worth it " cuase apparently Rick never told them about it.

Anyway, never mind that, where I my manners I never introduced myself.

Hi, I'm Rylan Cole Smith, the second smartest man in this multiverse... for now.