9 Mega SEEDS Final
Hey guys sorry I didn't post anything for the past couple of months, my grandfather died from my mother's side, so I've been grieving, and then my VPN subscription ran out. The guy who sold it quit selling VPN subs, so I was disconnected from most platforms (almost all of them). So I was looking around for someone I could trust to sell me good quality vpns, my country is banned from most stuff on the internet (Instagram, TikTok, Youtube, telegram, WhatsApp, reddit, etc …) so I was basically in hell.
Anyway, this chapter has [4587] words, I hope you enjoy it there is going to be another chapter coming up soon
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Last time on Rick and Morty: I hate life :
Rylan, Morty, and Rick find themselves in Dimension 35-C, where Rick needs Mega Seeds for his research. Rylan reveals his unique life hack gun, and they encounter a white rabbit resulting from a monster transformation. Rick introduces special grappling shoes, but Morty almost makes a gravity-defying mistake. Meanwhile, back on Earth, Beth and Jerry have a heated discussion about Rick's influence on their sons. The chapter ends with a phone call from Morty's principal, suggesting a meeting with Beth and Jerry later that afternoon.
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Rick and Rylan were standing by Morty, who was lying on the ground with his legs broken.
"Morty, oh, you d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, I don't even know how you failed to use those shoes.
Rylan had no problem using them, I had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze, so how the *burp* fuck did you fuck up walking?" Rick said as he looked at Morty while Rylan was sighing.
"I'm in a lot of pain, Rick! Never mind that just f-fix my legs" Morty said as tears gathered in his eyes.
Rick shook his head and said "Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me (burps) collect my seeds, Morty?"
Rylan deadpanned and looked at Rick and said "Is that the important thing right now?"
Morty being in agonizing pain shouted "Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something, and you why are you standing there not doing anything, aren't I your brother d-don't you have a device that can fix my legs?"
Rylan just looked at Morty and said with an expressionless face "Bro I'm sorry, I tried to help you and you fucked it up anyway, so now I'm just waiting for the moment"
Rick sighed and said, "Okay, hold on just a second, Morty." Then Rick opened a portal and left Rylan and Morty behind, lying on the ground to suffer for a few seconds.
Morty started screaming and crying in pain "Ooh! Ohh! Ooh! Hnngh! Hoo! Ooh! Ohh! Aaaaagh! Oooooh!"
Rick finally returns and injects Morty's legs with medicine, healing them to perfection
Morty amazed says "Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you."
Rick looked unimpressed with the phenomenon and said "Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?"
Morty sighs and asks " Why am I always helping you? why does Rylan have to laze around all the time?"
Rick looked at him and said "When you grow up and mature more I'll tell you"
Morty sighed again and said, "Sure thing, Rick."
Morty goes up the tree and gets the Mega Fruit while Rick talks to him and Rylan just stands by Rick's side and looks at Morty bored.
Rick said "Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place, Morty."
Morty looked amazed and said, "Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick."
But then Rylan Looked at him and said "I've visited that place before, it's not as impressive as "the pLace" you know but I bet you've never gone there, now that I think about it I should visit it again"
Rick and Morty looked at Rylan with a confused face and both said simultaneously "What's t- *burp* the Place?" / "What's the Place?"
Rylan looked Smug for a second and said "Only the best club Dimension ever, but I'm not surprised you guys don't know about it, you gotta be in the know to know, you know"
Rick shrugged and said "Anyway there's just one problem, guys one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that *burps* they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there, Rylan. *burps* It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, guys, and they-they-they— they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device has no charge left, guys. It's got no charge left."
Morty freaked out and yelled, "What?!"
Rick said "It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty."
Morty looked scared and said "Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?"
Morty then looked at Rylan and said "You have a portal gun Rylan, Y-You can take us home right?"
Rylan looked at Rick and Morty and said "I'm sorry bros but I can't do it."
Rick and Morty just looked at Rylan and asked ""Why not?""
Rylan just Looked "Sorry" and said, "Well you know I can't tell you right now but I will tell you why about 1 and a half hours from now."
Rick sighed and said "Never mind that but look g- *burp* There's ways to get back home, guys. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so one of you guys is gonna have to do me a real solid."
As Rick said that Rylan immediately said "I'm out."
Morty was late and just looked scared because whenever Rylan refused to do something it always ended badly so on reflex he said "Uh-oh."
Rick looked at Morty and said, "When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty."
Morty: In my butt?
Rylan that was filming everything secretly through his contact lenses laughed and said "Pftt, Congratulations bro, you're finally losing your virginity, well not the virginity we expected, but never mind that losing your anal virginity is also a kind of achievement"
Rick hearing what Rylan said was also laughing, but because he was a grandfather he tried to do it secretly and said "Pf, ehem Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit."
Morty looked pale and angry, pale at the prospect of "losing his anal virginity" as Rylan said, and angry at Rylan for putting it that way.
So our brave Morty for the second time today gathered his courage and said "Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that."
Rick while dying inside from laughter said "Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty and Rylan said he's out so I can't really force him to do it"
Morty just looked scared he tried to protest but Rick cut him off before he could say anything "Uuuh."
Rick quickly said "And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable. You got to do it for Grandpa, Morty. Y- *burps* you've got to put these seeds inside your butt."
Morty said nervously "In my butt?"
Rylan trying to be funny again said "yea bro up your ass"
Rick still laughing inside said "Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty."
Morty gave up and said "Oh, man"
Meanwhile back in Rylan's and Morty's Highschool, in the hallways, the smith couple (Beth and jerry) and principal Vagina, nor relation to the actual Vagina *cough*pussy*cough* were walking while talking.
Principal Vagina looked at the Smith couple and said "The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months, while your other son while attending school isn't really in class"
Beth looked confused for a second and said "What? Why didn't you notify us?"
Principal Vagina also looked confused and said "I did notify you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's and Rylan's grandfather?"
Jerry looked happy all of a sudden and yelled "Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?"
Principal Vagina got happy for a second like Jerry and said "Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school."
After the Principal Vagina stopped talking they stopped to see Summer and some other students, crying at an obituary for Frank (the bully)
Beth looked confused seeing Summer cry so she asked "Summer?"
Summer said while sobbing "What kind of God lets this happen? I thought Rylan promised to Destroy that gun, it's all happening all over again. *continues sobbing*"
Principal Vagina looked nervous and said "We had a little incident. A student was frozen to death. *chuckles* it's happened before but this time it's with ice and they keep saying a Latino student did it. there's no evidence that a Latino student did it! Everyone wants to take this to a racial place. I won't let them."
Meanwhile at the Intergalactic Customs.
Announcer: The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.
[A/N: am I the only one that read it Fapping?]
Alien: So, I told him, "Give me the blimfarx," you know? This-this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency.
Alien: It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like, that's what we eat on Girvonesk.
Announcer: The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only.
Rick was waiting in line waiting for Morty and Rylan to come back.
After a while Rylan and Morty come back they come up to him, Rick who is waiting in line to get through security, Rick said to them "I don't like it here, Guys. I can't abide bureaucracy. I don't like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Anyway Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?"
Morty looked uncomfortable "Yeah, Rick. Let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy. They hurt, and did Rylan have to come with me to the bathroom?"
Rylan looked at Morty and said "yea bro I had to come so you could go to the correct room and I stood behind the door so I could protect you" 'yea the real reason was that I had to collect some "blackmail material" so that I can use it against you later'
Rick looked at Morty and Rylan and said "That means they're good ones and Rylan's a good brother. You're a good kid, Morty. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-
*burps* all kinds of things with them. It's gonna be great, Morty. A- *burps* all kinds of science."
As they are talking we can see aliens are going through security with a Gromflomite, letting them through.
Gromflomite says "Okay, next thought."
The Gromflomite stops Morty and says "Except you. You go over there."
Rick looks confused and asks "Why does he have to go over there?"
Gromflomite says "Random check. He's got to go through the new machine."
Rick asks "What new- *burps* what new machine?"
Gromflomite looks proud and says "It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt."
Rick panics and says "Run, Guys! Run!"
He then grabs Morty and they run through security and dart for the exit.
All while Morty is screaming "Aaaaaah!"
Gromfomite says to his radio "Red alert!"
And a team of Gromflomites starts chasing after Rick and Morty and Rylan.
Morty yells "Ohhhhh!"
As Rick pushes over a giant capsule, with an alien fetus over, smashing some Gromflomites, to slow them down.
Morty well per usual keeps screaming "Ohhhhhh!"
an alien is seen smoking a hookah and Morty runs past him and accidentally inhales the smoke from the hookah while Rick comes from behind and slaps the alien in the face, causing the alien to cry and the hookah to fall to the ground while Rylan catches the Hookah; he then coughs up a life form from the smoke and the lifeform starts running through the glarp zone and goes through the entire aging process from developing fetus to decomposing corpse, over the course of three seconds.
Morty is still screaming "Aaaaah!"
Rick shouts "Don't think about it!"
he and Morty are cornered but Morty activates the grappling shoes and runs up the wall with Rick, while Rylan starts beating a Gromflomite and then tosses it at the other Gromflomites.
Rick yells "Ooh! Oh, nice, Morty! The student becomes the teacher." While Rylan rolls his eyes.
the Gromflomites reveal that they can fly and then Rick and Morty start running away, Rylan seeing the Gromflomites start flying pulls a round pink sphere like perfume shakes it a few times, and then tosses it in the air yelling "Catch!"
the sphere then explodes and a pink sticky substance sticks a bunch of Gromflomites together.
Morty is now enjoying the chase (well kinda) and yells "Whoooooo!"
Then he and Rick run through the equipment on the ceiling before they slip off to the ground while Rylan is running right behind them.
Alien: Aah! Aw, hell, no, dawg. You know me I'm just trying to— Rick and Morty crash to the ground and he dies; Rylan grabs them by the collar and picks them up as they then run to the portal computer.
Rick starts typing in the computer and says "I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, Morty. Cover me."
He then tosses Morty a gun.
Morty gets nervous and says "Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody."
Rick gets annoyed and lies to him saying "They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots!"
Morty shoots a Gromflomite named Glenn, blowing his leg off, and making blood gush out as he drops down in pain.
Glenn yells as he hugs his leg "Aaaaah! My leg is shot off!"
Another Gromflomite yells "Glenn's bleeding to death! Someone call his wife and children!"
Morty gets angry at Rick for lying to him and yells "They're not robots, Rick!"
Rick yells back "It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty. You have no idea what prison is like here!"
Rylan Takes the gun from Morty and starts shooting the Gromflomites but because Rylan Shot at the Gromflomites he prevented Morty from killing some innocent bystanders.
While Rylan was brutally killing the Gromflomites Rick hacks into the portal to take them back home.
Morty yells "Holy crap! This is insane!"
Rick opens the portal and takes Morty in with him as Rylan Shoots another Gromflomite in the head hearing a "HEADSHOT" sound effect in his ear, he then takes cover behind a wall messes with the gun in his hands, runs toward the portal and throws the tampered gun towards the computer and yells "astala vista baby"
Rick And Morty and Rylan Land in the middle of the cafeteria, Morty lands with his head on a table (obviously) while Rick and Rylan land on their feet.
Rick said "Come on, Morty! We got to get the hell out of here!"
Jessica is amazed and says "Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?" while looking at Morty.
Morty smiled while answering nervously "Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my-my Ferrari's in the shop. *nervously laughs* Just kidding."
Jessica says "You're Morty, right?"
Morty says "Yeah."
Rick then grabs Morty and takes him away while Rylan follows behind them.
Rick rolls his eyes and says "You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass."
Rylan, Rick, and Morty are stopped by Jerry, Beth, and Principal Vagina.
Jerry looks at them accusingly and says "Oh, look, honey. It's our son with Albert Ein-douche."
Beth looks confused and asks Jerry "What?"
Jerry looks upset and says "I'm an angry father, not an improviser."
Rick tries to play it cool "Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, Morty!, Rylan! What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your-your parents and I are very disappointed in-in this behavior... No? No takers?" Rick seeing Jerry and Beth look at him without any change in expression gives uo at the end.
Rick, Rylan, and Morty are back at home in the garage while Jerry and Beth start taking all of Rick's things and packing them up so he can move to the nursing home.
Rick says "You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It's beyond your reasoning."
Jerry yells at Rick "You're beyond our reasoning!"
Rick rolls his eyes and says "Takes one to know one."
Rylan rolls his eyes and says "Well you all aren't exactly normal to begin with."
Beth looks at his Dad and says "Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's."
Rylan murmurs "That's why I don't have any hope for this family."
Rick asks "What what are you guys doing with my stuff?"
Beth said, "We're moving you to a nursing home."
Rick looks at her accusingly "A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun."
Jerry says "Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the Boy Scouts every Christmas."
Beth asks "What does that mean?"
Jerry said seriously "It's personal."
Morty looks at them pleadingly and says "Dad, Mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all."
Jerry looks at Morty and says "Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own."
Rick looks at Jerry accusingly and asks "What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?"
Beth rolls her eyes and says "Oh, don't high-road us, Dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes."
Rick says "I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?" pretending he doesn't know anything.
Jerry not buying it says "Oh, for crying out—he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?"
Morty asks "I do?" being confused by the situation.
Rylan looks at his brother feeling awkward "Well, bro I'm sorry to tell you this but yea, we all know you're not that bright, but look at the bright side although you're not that bright it doesn't mean you can't be bright, you're … *sigh* you're good at the whole adventure thing with grandpa, I kinda envy you, you know you guys have a real connection"
Jerry looks at Morty and says "Well, duh doy, son. Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard." As If it's obvious.
Morty sighs and says "Aw, geez, guys. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once."
Rick looks at Morty and says "Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi."
Morty says "Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't."
Rick not giving a shit about what Morty said says "The square root of Pi, Morty. Go!"
Morty says "1.77245385... Whoa!"
Beth is freaked out and says "What the hell?"
Jerry checks Morty's answer with a calculator and says "Holy crap. He's right."
Rick says "Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics."
Morty says "The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system. Wow! I'm so smart!"
Jerry tries to say something but gets interrupted "But—"
Rick interrupts him and says "I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty's a gifted child. He has a special mind. That's why he's my little helper. He's like me. He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life. He's too smart for school. He needs to keep hanging out and helping me. Even Rylan agrees with me."
Beth looks uncertain and says "Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop."
Jerry being uncertain too says "No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But he has to keep going to school."
Rick says "Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You-you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication."
Summer butts in, crying over the death of Frank.
Summer while crying says "Frank Palicky was frozen to death today! The chocolate incident happened again"
Rick really not knowing anything about the chocolate incident says "No idea what you're talking about."
Summer looks at Rylan and with her eyes says that we'll talk later, Rylan gives a little nod, and Summer then leaves, still crying.
Jerry sighs and says "Okay. Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you."
Beth smiles and says "You know what? Okay, and Rylan"
Rylan looks at his mother and says "Yeah?"
Beth says "We're going to talk later tonight"
Then she and Jerry leave.
Morty then looked at Rylan and said "Did you mean all that"
Rylan looked Morty right in the eye and said
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"fuck no bro, I was just saying that so that Mom and Jerry go easier on Rick, by the way, Rick you owe me one"
Morty gets sad and says "Aw geez man"
Rick then said "Yeah yeah I know"
Morty then looks at Rick and says "Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter."
Rick looks at Morty and says "Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity."
Morty disappointed yet again says "Aw, man."
Rick opens his flask and says "Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty.
Starting right about now."
Morty afraid says "Ohh, man." And starts losing consciousness "Oh, geez! Ohh." Morty then drops to the ground and starts moaning as he has a seizure.
Rick starts getting drunk and says "I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more." Rick then excitedly looks down upon him, telling him about their future adventures.
"And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty and you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart, Morty but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you're gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, Morty. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you, me, and sometimes Rylan, and Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only friends we've got And Rylan, Morty. It's just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. Morty's things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures.com. All 100 years. Every minute, rickandmorty.com"
*POV Rylan*
After Rick started ranting crazily about him and Morty I left the garage and went into my room only to see Summer pushed against the wall by the robot hands dangling from the ceiling.
"Well, well, well look who is visiting my room, my older sister, glad0s you can release my sister now"
[Affirmitive]
"Rylan didn't you promise me that you'll destroy that godforsaken gun?" Summer said acting angry so that I didn't know she was upset I broke my promise, I'm not dense okay?
"I didn't break my promise you know, I didn't turn Frank into an ice statue, Rick did, okay? Now you don't have to be upset anymore" I said sitting by her side on my bed.
"Really?" Summer asked hopeful that I destroyed the chocolate gun.
"yeah, now why don't you tell me why you're really upset," I said fully knowing this sister of mine didn't really care much about other people.
"hmph, I don't know what you're talking about" she said as she looked the other way.
"anyway you should go now I have a bunch of stuff I need to do." I said losing my focus on the present.
"…" Summer just stayed silent.
"come on, get your fat ass up and go out of my room I have important stuff I need to do" I said feeling annoyed.
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT!?" Summer yelled at me angry
"No, I said get your fat ass up and leave" I said not knowing what she was angry about.
"…" She just stared at me for a few seconds and got up and left, and slammed the door as she left.*slam*
Sigh.
"Glados?"
[Yes Master?]
"is it ready?" I asked feeling impatient
[it will be completed in 4 hours 3 minutes and 33 seconds]
"Good, I can't wait to fix my stupid mistakes from all those years ago."
