The Force and the Past

On the Ebon Hawk, Padme searches the ship in confusion. After walking through the main hold for the third time, I decide enough is enough.

"What exactly are you searching for?"

She jumps a little at my voice coming from right behind her. Turning around with a slightly abashed look on her face, she responds. "I was looking for Anakin. I'm worried since I haven't seen him nor his mother since we boarded."

I nod in understanding. The Force formed a strong bond between the two of them for whatever reason, which is probably why she's trying to seek him out.

Now, I COULD cut their connection, or at the very least weaken it to the point where it doesn't affect them overtly, but at the moment I don't really care. Sure, the boy is powerful, but nothing extraordinary from my time period. And royalty for a single planet isn't really important enough for me to concern myself with. Maybe I'll do something if I get to know either of them a little better.

"Shmi is on the bridge with Carth, seeing if she can learn the controls so he can have a break from flying the ship for once. Her last name is 'Skywalker' afterall."

Blinking at my obvious brilliance, she moves past it and queries me again. "... And Anakin?"

"Oh, he went with Bastila, Mission, and the Jedi to Coruscant."

Now she's looking at me in shock, one of the most common reactions I get from people. Though since this is a new time period I suppose it's reasonable. They'll get used to what I do eventually. Probably.

"Why did you send him with them!? Shouldn't he have stayed with his mother? And does she even know about this?"

I can't help but snort, and out of the corner of my eye I spot the Jedi Padawan, Aayla Secura watching from the corner of the hallway. Does she think she's hiding? Her Force Cloak is so thin I can almost see under her regular clothes! Though considering how tight her outfit is it doesn't really hide anything anyways.

"Of course I told his mother! Unlike the Jedi, I think that kids should have a connection with their parents." Aayla's face flushes, though I can't tell if it's from indignation or some other emotion. "As for why, well, the Force willed it." I shrug at her baffled look. "The Force does as it likes, and for whatever reason it wanted the boy to go with the Jedi. And I didn't really have a problem with it so long as he's following the path he desires."

I won't tell her that I had no idea he wasn't here until Mission contacted me.

My explanation seems to have satisfied both Padme and Aayla, though the first looks uncertain and the second smug for whatever reason. 'I wonder if I should speak with her or have Juhani do it? See what we can learn of the Order from her perspective then cross-examine Bastila and Mission's observations.'

As the queen walks away, I make my decision. "Padawan, let us speak."

She jumps a little in surprise before giving me a wary look. After a few moments though, she nods. We walk to the cargo hold since nobody really uses it. I turn to her, a serious expression on my face. Seeing my look, her expression gets serious as well. Though it's a bit ridiculous considering she still has the Force Cloak up and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Stop that. Sure you obviously need the practice, but we're here for a talk, not a training session.

Her eyes widen as it's only now that she realizes that she still has it activated. With how Revan was acting she thought that it was off!

After she deactivates it, I nod. "Good. Now, your mind. What's wrong with it?"

At her affronted look and dropped jaw, I clarify. "I'm referring to your memory, as well as the way the Force swirls around you. You've obviously walked the path of both dark and light, though the light is far stronger than the dark."

If I thought she was surprised before, that's nothing compared to now! I don't think her eyes should be able to pop out that much.

I wait for her to collect herself, which takes a good ten minutes. Once she does, she finally responds. "How do you know that? What happened to me is kept strictly hidden!"

"I just told you, I can tell by how the Force swirls around you. Not to mention that it resembles my own past as well. And before you ask, no, I will not tell you about it until you've earned my unequivocal trust."

Now Aayla is even more wary of me, but also a bit awed. As far as she knows, the only Jedi powerful enough to sense that level of detail from the Force are those on the council, with Master Yoda being the most observant of course!

Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, she decides that since Revan knows that much already, she might as well give out the details.

"Well, my Master and I were tracking down the source of a new drug on my homeworld, and we encountered my Uncle. I was accepted into the Order past the usual age for younglings, so of course I recognized him. When he heard of our mission, he invited us to make his home our base." She scowls as she's enveloped by the memories. Not of the event itself, but of what she remembers after it occurred.

"Suffice to say he was the source of the drug. The drug in question had a side-effect of memory loss, with stronger doses accounting for a more profound effect. He drugged the both of us and dumped my Master somewhere, though I'm uncertain as to where. As for me though…"

She closes her eyes and takes a deep, shuddering breath. "Me he kept. He was also worried about how my Jedi training might make me resistant to the memory loss, so he gave me repeated doses. Eventually it got to the point where I remembered nothing at all and he turned me into one of his slave girls."

Her hands clench, rage burning inside her as the memories become more vivid. Of her waking up one day, knowing nothing. Of how he told her of herself, all lies meant to secure his place in her mind. Of the collar he placed around her neck. Of her DUTIES.

NO. She takes another breath, holding it before letting it out slowly. 'There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no passion, there is serenity.' She repeats these lines of the Jedi code, tamping down on her raging emotions. It's worked before, it will work again.What has not happened before is warm arms wrapping around her, holding her tightly.

She tenses up at the contact, but a calming voice with a touch of the Force relaxes her. "It's ok to let it out. While the Jedi code rejects emotions, that does not mean you do not have them. Instead of holding onto the pain, simply let it out. Cleanse yourself of the rage poisoning your heart."

"Peace cannot be achieved without strength, especially if it is the strength of will. Through that strength, your chains shall be broken."

She fights my words of course, as all Jedi are taught that peace is achieved by the suppression of emotions. But my words resonate with something deep inside her, and before she realizes it the tears start to flow.

Nothing else is spoken as she lets out the emotions she'd been suppressing ever since she learned of the truth of what happened. Of the anger, the betrayal, the guilt.

She simply lets them flow out of her along with her tears.