7 Chapter 7: Slow and Steady

few days have passed since the big fight between Iroha and Yui, the aftermath was pretty rough and there were alot of steps to take before we reached a sense of normalcy but we managed to go back to a healthy lifestyle after the dust settled...

Ha, if only.

In reality a few minutes have passed since the fight and I'm currently just sitting in the club room with Yukinoshinta...awkwardly I may add. There aren't any conversations being initiated or jabs thrown at each other just...silence. Usually I'm quite alright with silence but not when it's like this, every shuffle in my seat or breath seems to draw her attention...it's obvious she wants to talk about things but I had decided to push it off for my own selfish reasons. I know we have to talk about it, and we have to talk about it now but...I just don't know where to start. The odd request from Iroha that started all of this? Although maybe the exact details of that can be omitted...Yui coming over to my house to talk? Hmmm maybe not that either. So when do I start, what do I say?

"Hikigaya." She calls out to draw my attention before I can begin to overthink the finer details, something that may be a good thing.

"Yes?"

She seems to contemplate a bit before continuing, stopping herself from speaking a few times as if she's still debating if it's something she should say...or just how she should say it. "I understand that we had agreed to speak about..."that" until a later date, and I respect your wishes but..."

"It's awkward just sitting here in silence." I cut her off, already knowing where she was heading.

She glances at me and I'm sure she's about to berate me for cutting her off but she averts her gaze and mutters. "Yes...a fair bit."

I let a heavy sigh escape as I sink further into my seat. "Yeah...I know we shouldn't push it off but I just don't know what to say."

"I believe I have a few things to say...or rather ask." She offers.

"I may or may not have answers."

She stops to look at me before a small smile makes it's way on her face. "I suppose that will have to do."

I grin back a bit, I'd never admit it but I really do like interacting with Yukinoshinta...the way we talk and throw verbal jabs at each other is enough to ease my mind a bit. "Suppose it will, so...shoot."

She brings a hand to her chin as she strikes a thinking pose for a bit before she speaks "Well to start...how are you doing?"

"A bit bored to be honest." I drawl out in a teasing fashion.

"Hikigaya..."

"Sorry, I'm...fine. Or at least I think I will be...it's just alot to process I guess." Understatement of the century but no need to keep going over and over how messed up the whole situation is right?

"Yes, which brings me to my next question...what exactly was...that?" It's obvious that she is refering to the fight...I don't know when we agreed to refer to it as "that" but I suppose it works just fine.

"It's...it's a long story." Another understatement.

"We have plenty of time, 2 hours to be precise." She clarifies, no getting out of this huh?

"...Right...so where to start..." I think hard, mainly considering what details I could leave out, before starting. "Well as you already know a few days ago me and Iroha became...a intimate couple." No reason to go into details about how the relationship started right? Some things are better left unsaid after-all, and I guess the fact that I slept with Iroha would be one of those things.

"Indeed, she wasn't exactly secretive about it..." Heh, between blackmail and threats? No, no she really wasn't. I keep those details to myself as well though.

"Right...well Yui didn't exactly take to well to that fact and sought me out...demanding that I go out with her instead."

"From how casually you say her first name I presume you accepted?" She asks with slightly narrowed eyes, most likely judging me for jumping between relationships so fast...can't say I blame her.

"Wha-I...yes...and no...I really don't know. Both of them...came on so strongly and I didn't really have a chance to gather my thoughts." Excuses, excuses.

"Until recently? You seemed to have denied both of their feelings."

"Yes I...I finally came to some sort of conclusion." Not really though, I essentially bought me more time to come up with a game-plan...not a decisive action in the slightest...plus I doubt either of them really care about it regardless.

"May I ask why?"

"Why what?"

"What made you deny them, what made you turn down such a...enticing offer?"

"I...I was too confused."

"Oh?"

"They had been both been acting...strange, the violent outburst was a great example of that, but more than that there were so many...contradictions."

"Contradictions? How so?"

"Well" I clear my throat "One moment they'd be...uhm cute and uhhh...lovey dovey I guess and the next frightening and controlling. I couldn't tell what was real, what was-"

"Genuine."

"Yes...Genuine..." I feel a tear run down my face. Damn it I'd hate for crying to become a habit for me but everything...everything is just so confusing and ruined now. I want to go back, back to when I had even the faintest clue of what genuine meant...the smallest hope that I could find it with one of them.

"Hikigaya...I'm...I'm sorry." She moves to a seat beside mind and hesitates a moment before resting a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. "I know you've been through so much and yet I..."

"N-no it's fine I-" I quickly regain myself and brush away the tear, preventing a similar outcome to when I first voiced my request. "I understand why you asked and...it's good you did...it's slow but it helps clears things up."

"H-Hikigaya..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm...I'm sorry."

"Huh? What for?"

"No I mean...I'm sorry for what happened to you it must have been...difficult."

"Oh...thanks."

"If...if I may..."

"Hmmm? What is it?"

"Well...in stressful situations people like to be physically comforted so..."

Uh-oh I don't think I like where this is going...

"W-would you like...a...a hug?"

Do what? "A...hug?"

"W-well yes...if you promise to keep it strictly platonic that is."

"I-" I stop to consider her offer more, in hindsight I have no reason to jump to such brazen conclusions. Yukinoshinta hasn't shown any signs of being crazy and...I could honestly use some innocent comforting. All in all no harm in it right? "I wouldn't mind."

"Well then" She throws her arms out ready to embrace me. "Come." I find something funny about how she still speaks diligently and has a stern look on her face in this situation. I smile a bit at the peculiar site before scooting myself closer and leaning forward, arms at my side to show there is no funny business from me. She tilts her head down to study my ramrod straight arms before looking back up.

"Hikigaya I am aware that you are hopeless when it comes to social interaction but could it possibly be that you've never shared a hug in your life?"

"Well...no it's just that...you know...no funny business right?"

She sighs "Hikigaya...just don't let your arms wander anywhere provocative, are those instructions clear enough?"

This whole comforting hug business is far more of a headache than it should be...somehow I like that. "I think I can manage, thanks." That being said I pick my arms up and wrap them gently around her back and pull myself further. I feel her shudder, only for a brief moment, but enough to be noticeable...still not that great at physical contact huh...or maybe she still thinks I'm some sort of germ.

P.O.V Switch-Yukino

Easy. Steadying breaths. Control yourself. Remember the bigger picture. Remain calm.

Various instructions race through my mind as Hachiman pulls me into a soft and gentle embrace, and I do my best to heed them. It is...difficult not to push things further, to play the part of concerned friend but I must. Those harlots aren't good for much but I can learn from their mistakes, the main one being how aggressive they were in their approach. If I was to give into my carnal desire right now he would hesitate, much like a deer becoming wary of bait. Instead I need to...condition him to the idea, slowly teach him that a life with me is his best...his only option.

But who knew a heart could beat this fast, that cheeks could become this flustered, or that I could find myself...wanting so much. I don't want this to be platonic, I want his hands to roam, to explore every inch of my body as I-

No. Now is not the time to drift into fantasies, now is the time to make them realities.

The first step would be to pull away before he begins to suspect something...a simple task...I'm sure I can manage...in a bit.

"uhhh Yukinoshinta? I guess I feel comforted enough now, you can-"

"Just a bit longer please..." Quick come up with an excuse. "I...was also disturbed by recent events."

"R-right...as long as you need."

Would now be a good time to advance things? The longer I remain in his embrace the less sensible my thoughts become...he's truly the most dangerous sustenance...intoxicating...addictive. I pull myself tighter against him, wishing to remove any gap between us.

Just a bit more wouldn't hurt right?

P.O.V Switch-Hachiman

My back is starting to hurt.

Perhaps I was so focused on myself that I neglected to think about how everything would have affected her, and judging by the intense pressure on my spinal column it must have shook her to the core...so what is this small nagging feeling of foreboding in the pit of my stomach?

Finally, mercifully, she loosens her grip and pulls back a bit. I notice her arms don't fully remove themselves as she gazes at me, her eyes a bit...unfocused.

"I...I can't" She mutters out weakly as her breathing gets more erratic. "It's...it's too much."

I feel my breath catch in my throat, it isn't the first time I've seen her so...open and defenseless but I never got used to the site, hell I doubt I ever could. She's always so diligent, so strong willed but now she's showing just how much everything affected her and my heart aches for her.

It's almost second nature at this point but I pull my arm back to rest my hand on the top of her head, gently rubbing it to sooth her. "It's alright...everything will be alright."

Thankfully my makeshift repairs seem to be enough as she snaps back to her senses. "Hachi-*cough* Hikigaya?"

"I hope this isn't considered a provocative place." A say with a small smirk, something that makes her chuckle slightly.

"No..." she smiles warmly at me before she pulls back fully. "No it isn't, I'm glad to see that you have some common sense."

"I wouldn't go that far." I smirk as I decide self deprecating humor would help ease her mind a bit more. "Just instinct."

"Oh? You have an instinct to stroke any woman's head? I'm staring to see how the other two could take advantage of that."

I pause for a bit, debating if it's alright to make light-hearted references about those two before I chuckle a bit. "Maybe, but I don't do this for just anyone."

Her eyes widen a bit. "Is that so..."

I pull my head back, noticing the slightly peeved look from Yukinoshinta as I do so, before responding. "Yeah...only...well...you know..."

"I don't."

Ugh she's really going to make me say it? My face flushes as I stammer out "W-well people I...care about." Ugh.

Her eyes widen more and her mouth drops a bit before she regains herself and smiles warmly. "I see..."

There's another moment of silence as we both sit there...it isn't awkward like before despite the incredibly embarrassing thing I just said...It's peaceful.

"Hikigaya..." Her soft voice breaks the silence, I notice that her face is flushed and she avoids looking in my general direction. "I...I also c-care about you."

"O-oh?" I also look to the side, something about this situation is incredibly difficult despite my...recent experiences. "Bold words coming from someone who shot down my offer of friendship...twice."

She snaps back loudly, almost panicked. "BECAUSE I-" She catches herself however and clears her throat a bit before continuing at a much more appropriate volume. "I...well maybe now isn't the time."

Could it be? I have a pretty solid idea on what she's implying, like I've said I'm not entirely clueless, but some part of me still finds it hard to believe. She is right however now is hardly the time given recent events...I need to take time to clear my head...prepare my heart...

However...

"Go on."

She gasps as she turns to face me. "H-Hikigaya...are you sure?"

"No." I haven't thought this through at all, considered the outcomes or fallback but... "Just going off of instinct again."

She blinks a few times as she processes my words before a small comes to her lips. "I see...well perhaps I should take a page from your book." She proceeds to lean forward, bringing her lips closer to mine.

I don't hesitate to follow her lead and bring my lips to hers...gently...tenderly. Not much happens afterwards, we just stay together for a few seconds before pulling back, a boring and chaste action compared to...other things.

I loved it.

Her eyes are slightly lidded as she speaks. "I hope this clears things up Hikigaya...friendship simply won't suffice."

I smile warmly, a action I don't do often, before responding. "I think I get the gist." My smile vanishes as I think further. "The others won't like this."

Her smile also falters as a solemn look takes over her features "No...they won't...if it would be better we could-"

"No. No waiting, no pretending, no fake emotions. Just-" We both look into each other's eyes and I know we're both thinking the same thing. I lean forward to wrap my arms around her to embrace her again, she reciprocates as we both mutter out.

"Genuine."

P.O.V Switch-Yukino

It's good that he had decided to pull me into a hug, I'm sure the sight of my smile that splits ear to ear would be...unsettling to see. It only grows as I think more and more on a single thought

I win.