Chapter 10: Revelations

The first thing I noticed as I began to stir from my slumber was the softness of my surroundings. The mattress is what you would expect from a girl like Yukino, but I couldn't really care less about mattresses or pillows right now. No, the real softness is coming from the body pressed tightly against mine. I blink a few times to remove any trace of sleep from my sight as I study her features. Her eyes are still shut tightly but her mouth is slightly open as she quietly breaths, the edges of her mouth still curved upwards in a content smile. Official diagnosis?

Cute.

However the main reason I'm waking up keeps me from further study, the call of nature beckons me. Groaning and loathing my body for betraying me, I ever so gently move away from her to rise out of bed. Doing my best to ignore her groan of disapproval as she paws at the now empty spot near her, I hastily slide a pillow to take my place. I smirk as I see her quickly pull the pillow to her body, another groan escaping her as even unconscious she notices something is wrong.

Yep, experts agree that's cute.

I force myself out of the bed and make my exit from her room, with luck I can finish my business and be back in bed before she wakes...heh, the perfect crime. As I make my way to the main room and look out the window I notice that it's still dark, not overly surprising seeing as we both fell out rather early because...

I feel my face begin to heat up. No point thinking about that now however, though I would like to know the exact time it is, I know I already told Komanchi that I wouldn't be coming home toni-

My heart skips a beat in my chest as my mouth dries. Quickly, albeit still as quietly as I can, I make my way back to the room to fish through my pants and retrieve my phone, and hastily begin to text my precious sister, ignoring the other notifications I have at the moment.

"Komanchi, please forgive your no good, idiot, worthless, cold, and despicable brother. I'm sure you must have been worried sick but your loving brother was just too caught up in the moment to text you. I hope you didn't stay up too late wondering where I was! I'm staying over at a friends tonight, but I'll be back first thing tomorrow!" I quickly glance up to check the time, appreciating that it's only around nine o clock, before I finish. "Don't stay up too late, love you!"

I sit there clutching my phone waiting for her response, she should still be up after all. Thankfully I don't wait long.

"Minus 5000 Komanchi points."

...oof. I hold back the beginning of a tear, how could I fail such a perfect sister. The price of 5000 Komanchi points is a heavy toll, but a fair one. As I clutch my chest to ease my troubled heart I resolve myself to never fail her again.

However lamenting over such things will have to be put on the back-burner for now as my attention is grabbed by a faint ring, coming from the device I'm holding.

She's calling. I quickly clasp my hand over the speaker to mute the volume as I turn to check on Yukino. Other than a few shuffles and a growing pout it doesn't seem like anything has changed. I quickly and quietly move out of the room, putting more distance between the door before I answer.

"What do you want Issh-"

"Ah! I'll stop you there before you say something stupid senpai!" She interrupts with a cute and chiding voice, though by now I know enough about reading between the lines that there's genuine anger. "Mouuuu, Haven't we already been over the whole name calling business...hubby?" She finishes and I swear I can feel her hot breath on my ear through the phone.

"Right, so what did you want then?" I say with a neutral tone, I won't be swept up by her charm, nor will I risk her fury. The winning move to her little game is simply not to play.

"Hoooh? Do I need a reason to call my lovey dovey hubby?" She continues to tease, and by doing so forcing me to play along as I can't just ignore that statement.

"I thought I was clear that we don't have that type of relationship anymore." I respond sternly, forcing my growing blush away.

"Hmmmm that's weird I don't remember anything like that...ah could it be you're trying to play hard to get senpai? I'm sorry but such outdated tactics won't have any effect on me as nothing you can or will say can stop me from loving you. Please try again never." She says in the quick pace I've grown accustomed to when she does these little rants.

I blink dumbly a few times. This girl...did she just reject my rejection? She takes advantage of my stunned silence to continue.

"But ahh you did catch me red handed senpai, I did want to ask something..."

I regain myself, opting to let the twist of her rejection thing she does slide. "Go on."

"How did you like seeing Yukinoshita's true feelings?" She hauntingly asks.

I almost dropped my phone as I manically glanced around the apartment. Of course I don't find anything but that doesn't calm me down any. Somehow she knows...did she follow us? Did she plant something one me...would a high school girl even access to that type of thing?

As I race through millions of possibilities she continues. "I'm sure she really put on a good show when she got my text, eh senpai?"

All of the millions of possibilities leave me as my mind grinds to a halt. "...what?"

"Go on tell me senpai, how'd the little ice queen blow her top when she got my message? How was it to see what she's truly like past that dumb little act of hers?" She clicks her tongue in disdain. "Seriously...pretending she's any better than me...pompous bitch." She finishes with obvious venom.

Said venom being the least of my worries however. "Your message...you mean when you threatened her?" I ask, not even out of anger or defensive instinct but rather genuine confusion.

Silence for a few moments before she answered, likewise without any anger "...what?"

"You...you threatened her in some way...right?" Slowly but surely I feel an uncomfortable, yet sadly familiar, feeling in my gut begin to bubble.

"Senpai...where are you right now?" She asks, worryingly without any sense of anger or accusation, but rather with a sense of dread?

"I...ermmm..." I stumble over myself, dealing with this revelation and pondering if even then it would be best to tell Iroha where I am.

"Darling?" A different voice catches my attention and I feel my whole body start to cool, a cold sweat forming. I also hear the beginning of a scream come from my phone but I quickly end the call to avoid this issue becoming completely volatile. I take a steadying breath and calm my features before I turn to face her.

"Y-Yo..." Dammit brain really? That's what you pick to say?

I notice her eyes are still groggy and unfocused, the usually prim and perfect girl still recovering from waking up. "I couldn't stay asleep...why did you leave?"

"S-sorry, I had to use the restroom real quick." I hastily answer.

Still a bit groggy she weakly nods her head a few times. "Oh I see...well please do hurry up, I'd like to get back to bed if you don't mi-" A dinging noise emits, cutting her off. Suddenly her eyes regain their usual focus as she zeros in on my hand, or rather what it's holding. "Darling...do you require your phone to use the restroom?" She asks, obviously rhetorically.

"N-no I..."

"Who were you talking to?" She asks, eerily calm.

"I just had to give Komanchi a call real quick, I never got a chance to tell her earlier I'd be staying over because...well..." Technically I'm not lying.

She blushes and averts her gaze. "O-oh, of course." She quickly turns to head into the bedroom. "The point still stands however, please do hurry dear."

"R-right of course." I dumbly grin back as I watch her leave. As soon as she's out of sight the grin leaves and I hastily check my phone to see what was the cause of the notification, unsurprisingly it's a text from Iroha. What is surprising however is the content of the message, namely a single image...a screenshot of her text conversation with Yukino, consisting of three items.

Firstly I can see that Iroha decided to share her image of me and her, I can also see that it was sent earlier today. Am I a fan of her sharing that image? Obviously not, nor am I a fan of the message she sent immediately afterwards.

"Just in case you were getting any funny ideas, he's all mine ; )"

Well it's certainly bold but at the very least it's honest, Iroha laid her intentions out bare, on the other hand...

Yukino lied to me. There was never any threat, she never felt scared. I can only assume that a message like that would cause some degree of anger. That being said it's obvious that she didn't have me walk with her home for safety, she wanted me for revenge.

This theory of course is only further proved when I look at the next message in the conversation, this time sent by Yukino.

"Not anymore."

As much as I wish it wasn't, the truth that Yukino has...used me is undeniable. A mixture of sadness and frustration bubbles within. How much? How much of what happened in the last few hours is a lie? Who can I even trust anymore? My grip on the phone tightens along with my eyes as I try to suppress the tears from falling, my throat beginning to feel tight as I begin to weakly sniffle.

How could I have been so dumb? Not even just today, but even the days prior. Time and time again I try to open myself up or help one of them and each time I've been used to fulfill some sick obsession. Was the genuine thing I thought I'd be able to find with one of them always some hopeless delusion, just something they could dangle in front of me like some carrot on a stick?

I take a steadying breath as I try to do away with so many thoughts, now hardly being the time and place. I'm still in the danger zone to speak and I...wait a minute, something isn't right...

When Iroha called she seemed sure that Yukino had exploded into some fit of rage, but there's no way she would have thought that if Yukino replied with something so brazen...that only leaves one possibility, which is of course confirmed as I double take the timestamp of Yukino's message.

She replied only a few minutes ago, most likely right before coming out to question me. Of course if she was coherent enough to send a text message that means that her whole barely conscious thing was most likely an act...so theoretically that means that right now Yukino is still wide awake in the bedroom, doing a myriad of possible things as she waits for me to come back. It would have been ideal if she had just immediately passed back out but I guess that's just wishful thinking on my part. All in all that means there won't be any calm and swift exit from this building...

I sigh as I begin to make good on my other promise, making my way to her bathroom to relieve my bladder that's been growing increasingly impatient, nature waits for nothing after all. I'd like to use this time to formulate some type of plan but I don't really have the time, I'm sure Yukino is already growing impatient if not suspicious, so all I can do is come up with a few basic steps.

Firstly I have to retrieve and put on my remaining cloths, currently in the same room as Yukino. Secondly I have to make it to the elevator and make the rest of the trip home. Lastly once I get home I have to, I dunno, reflect on what a train-wreck my life has become or something.

...should be easy to pull off.

Knowing that I unfortunately can't dawdle any longer I make my way back to the room, slowly opening the door to see a unsurprisingly awake Yukino laying on the bed.

"There you are." She glares at me with a pout as she pats the mattress next to her. "Don't you know it's rude to keep a lady, much less your girlfriend, waiting?"

I'm sure the blissfully ignorant me of the past would've all nosedived but onto the bed but now...

"Yeah, about that..." I reach down to first pick up my pants then my socks and put them on, deciding that in the event of me making a mad dash out of here those and my shoes would be the hardest things to put on.

"D-darling, what are you..." She asks, almost fooling me with how confused and hurt she sounds.

"Leaving, and don't call me darling." I answer bluntly as I quickly put on my shoes, hoping that answering in such a cold manner stuns her and gives me more time to prepare.

No such luck.

In one swift motion she's out of the bed and clinging to me tightly, desperately pinning me to her. "No!" She furiously shakes her head. "No no no no no no no no!"

I try to pry myself off of her but she responds by clinging even harder. "What is wrong darling? What did I do, why are you acting like this?!" She desperately asks.

Conveniently enough all of those questions can be answered in one go. "You lied to me."

That causes her grip to loosen. "W-what?"

"When Iroha threatened you what exactly did she say?" I push her away, slowly and gently to avoid hurting her but also because it would be more subtle and have less of a chance of a reaction.

"She...I..." She stammers out stunned, obviously trying to come up with something.

"That's enough, I'll go ahead and admit something first. While it's true that I sent Komanchi a text telling her my location Iroha also gave me a call real quick...and revealed something real interesting."

"W-wait I can explain..." She frantically pleads, if her frantic mood right now is even true.

Using her shell-shocked nature to my advantage I completely untangle myself from her and pick up my shirt, completing the puzzle. I of course opt to leave my blazer, as it's unnecessary and I'd rather not spend any more time here than needed.

"...fine." She states after she realizes that there's no getting out of it. "You want the whole truth then?" She clinches her hands tightly as she stares at me, eyes slightly puffy and wet but determined.

In a shocking reversal this actually stuns me a bit, stopping me from fully buttoning my shirt as I gaze at her.

"The undeniable, full truth is that I love you Hachiman Hikigaya." She states while still staring directly into me. I open my mouth to respond but she continues. "No...that's not good enough, in reality I don't think even love can describe how strongly I feel for you. I...adore, cherish ,covet, crave, idolize, treasure, desire, relish, need you." She takes a deep breath as she intends to continue

"Y-Yukino" I try to interrupt, to no avail.

"I long for you, I yearn for you, I dream of you, I fantasize of you, I'm entranced by you, enthralled by you, I lust for you, I think of you, always." She continues, never once breaking eye contact with me. Her eyes are a mix of determination and sadness as she even still continues.

"I want to hold you, kiss you, taste you, feel you, smell you, hear you, breath you, I want to..." She clenches her fist even harder as her face reddens "I want to p-procreate, mate, fornicate." Even with her face a burning crimson and looking even more like she's on the verge of crying she stares into me, likewise I can't seem to break eye contact as my mouth hangs dumbly. "Even with all the breath I can muster and with all the words I can think of I can't seem to fully convey just how much you mean to me."

I stand there dumbly for a few moments before my brain starts to work again, managing speech. "E-even so you-"

"Lied to you, yes." She interrupts again, taking another deep breath as she prepares to say more. "And not just about being threatened, I've lied about a myriad of things." She admits, sniffling a bit afterwards. "When..." She takes another deep breath as her fists starts to slowly relax "Isshiki first told us about your relationship I was enraged, nothing like the calm front I put on. When she and Yuigahama fought I cared nothing for their safety or even how troubled it made you, only how I could use it for my own benefit. When I consoled you afterwards I was ecstatic about finally having you all to myself...maddeningly so."

For the first time since she started spilling the whole truth out she breaks eye contact, looking down in shame. "Hachiman...deep down..." She looks back up to me, tears trickling down her face. "Deep down a part of me knows how strongly I feel about you isn't healthy."

At this point escape is such a distant thought that I can't even remember why I'm still just standing here, not holding and comforting her. "Yukino...I..."

If she heard my admittedly weak call for her she doesn't acknowledge it, instead she shakes her head a few times as she lowers her gaze back down to the floor before finishing. "Even so...even so the truth is..." Her head snaps back up to face me.

"I don't care." She once again reaches out to grab me and I wince and tense up at the sudden movement...however...

Ever so gently her hands wrap around me as she pulls herself into me, nothing at all like I was expecting. "I could be deranged, insane even, but I really couldn't care less...as long as I can have you." She finally finishes, opting now to quietly sniffle as I feel her tears wet my still uncovered chest.

Is this...could it be? I came in here fully expecting her to deny the truth, keep me from leaving, or even possibly get violent but instead she laid everything bare for me to see, the entire truth...even the parts I never asked for. I knew I mused earlier about these girls using my desire for something genuine as a lure but maybe...just maybe...

I wrap my arms around her in a brief hug, she initially tenses from the movement but almost instantly relaxes in my arms. Genuine is not synonymous with perfect. I had said it before when I first told them my request, I don't care if it hurts, if I have to struggle and writhe to grasp it. I want to fully understand someone, even the things that would best be kept secret, a selfish request indeed.

I hold her for a few moments before gently I pull pack and push her back.

Eyes still slightly red she shoots me a worried look. "H-Hachiman?"

I give her a leveled stare before I smile and begin to undo the buttons just moments before I was hastily putting together. "Thought we already went over this, I don't sleep fully clothed."

She gasps wide eyed before she shoots me the most beautiful and heartwarming smile. "I...I see."

I reach down to take off my shoes and socks as I continue. "Don't get too excited, I do intend to sleep." I tease, perhaps prematurely as it was only moments ago my relationship with her was nearly severed, but I believe it should be alright, that she understands I've already accepted everything she said and forgave.

"Nonsense, I fully expect you to cuddle." She teases back. I look back up at her and shoot her my best attempt to match the type of smile she showed me.

"Hmmmm, that can be arranged." I make my way back to the bed, with her right behind me. We lay side by side, facing each other as we gently caress and hold one another.

As peaceful as the situation is sleep does not come quickly, not with so much previous excitement, and seeing as I (and hopefully she) are too tired for more carnal activities, I'll simply talk for a bit, clear up some more confusion...I blink a few times as I slowly put a few pieces together about last night.

Speaking of carnal desires...

"So, I've been thinking, that tea yesterday..." I cautiously ask, doing my best not to sound accusatory.

"Was spiked with an aphrodisiac, yes." She instantly answers. "If it's any consolation I put some in both of our drinks." She finishes with a timid smile.

I sigh and shake my head, I suppose it is some consolation. "Well at the very least I know for certain you're being entirely honest."

She blushes and shifts her gaze. "Is that..is that why you decided to stay?" She weakly asks.

"Yes." I instantly and earnestly answer. "Sure you've done some...questionable things, and any other guy would probably have the common sense to run, but even so when it came down it you chose to be honest with me...which makes you far better than the other two."

"Well of course I'm better than them. My, looks, personality, intelligence, and manners are far beyond theirs." She hauntingly states full of bravado and with a smirk, however her mood suddenly changes as she avoids looking at me. "However..."

"What is it Yukino?"

She sighs again before she looks at me, a small and resigned smile on her face. "As far as how much I love you however..."

"Yukino...a little humility is alright but don't take it too far."

"No Hachiman, this isn't mere humility...it's the honesty you so desired." She squeezes my hand gently. "Even if I myself loathe to admit it those two really do love you, perhaps even as much as me."

"But they're insane! They hurt each other...were fine with using me, with forcing me to-" My rant however is interrupted by the smallest thing. Yukino squeezed my hand gently and as I focus on her resigned and understanding smile I realize what she was trying to convey.

In this regard, she really isn't any better than them.

"It's an ugly truth Hachiman but that's just how the truth can be sometimes...for example I know you love them too, even though I so desperately wish you didn't."

"That's not-" I begin to deny what she says but her look stops me, still staring at me intently with a sad smile. "...okay, I won't lie to you...a part of me definitely does still care for...no, love Iroha and Yui."

"I know." She answers calmly.

"You handled that a lot better than I thought you would..."

"Oh believe me, I hate that you do, more than anything the fact that I alone can't occupy your whole heart infuriates me to no end." Her hands clench once again as her form trembles, eyes narrowing and mouth beginning to form a snarl. She snaps her gaze directly into my eyes, causing me to reel back a bit. "How badly I wish you could just...forget those two, that you could devote all of your being to me, I can't begin to put into words how much I want that." She begins to relax with a deep breath, mood suddenly becoming almost melancholic. "Even so...if it's to keep you here, with me, sacrifices have to be made."

"Sacrifices?"

"Hachiman...I see how you react when I begin to lose myself in my more...base emotions. I see how you reel back, how troubled you become...how you begin to doubt."

"Doubt what?"

"Doubt me...if I truly love you..." She shakes her head frantically. "I can't bare it, the thought that you doubt if I truly love you!" She wails desperately, no anger or accusation in her tone, only genuine panic and sorrow.

I can't form any words, I'd like to tell her that she's wrong but that's...that's exactly what I've thought, and not even just about her. Her, Yui, and Iroha...all of them have been prone to sudden mood shifts or sudden spouts of anger, and each and every time it shook me to my core. Am I fully in the wrong? Perhaps not, it's only natural to worry when seeing someone close to you act in a way you never thought they would...but on the other hand was it unfair of me to write off them showing their uglier emotions as them deceiving me, that those we're their true and only emotions?

Unwittingly Yukino's honesty not only opened my eyes to her true self...but the others as well. Memories from my previous encounters play in my head.

"Is it really so bad that I didn't want to be something that you hide from others? Is it bad that I don't just want you to act like nothing happened between us?"

"I showed you my true, genuine, feelings. Is that supposed to be a bad thing? I remember what you told me...that's exactly what you wanted, so why are you treating it as if I did something wrong?"

...So that's how it is. I feel a entirely new feeling begin to bubble deep within me, nothing like the uneasiness I had let myself grow accustomed to. No, this is a warm burning feeling...determination. The me of days past was weak, In the face of any challenge to what I sought I had cowered away...hurting those who mean most to me in the process. Hell even before that I refused to have the courage to acknowledge the growing romantic tensions in the club, I kept the same status quo I regularly chastise others for up-keeping because I was afraid of the unknown. For too long I've let my own shortcomings keep me...no, all of us, from finding our genuine thing.

Not anymore, I know what I want and I know that it will be hard to obtain. It's entirely selfish, down right disgusting and vile, I should be ashamed...but much like Yukino, I don't care.

I firmly grasp her shoulders, to calm her and gather her attention. "H-Hachiman?"

"Yukino, will you once again hear the request of a no good loner?"

She blinks in confusion a few times before she smiles. "If it's to win you over? Of course."

I skip any long speech this time, she already knows all of my innermost feelings. "I want something genuine."

She smiles warmly. "Of course, I know I can provide th-"

"With all of you." I interrupt, finishing my request.

Her smile, and the light in her eyes, dims.