My wind
"Remember to eat more fruit and drink more water. Good night, my baby <3"< p>
"Yes mom. Good night."
The call ended.
I put the phone down, next to my head pillow, staring into the dark ceiling.
It had been 6 years since I decided to move out and reside in the big capital that is Ho Chi Minh city.
I would probably turn 25 next month but my mom would still not stop calling me "baby".
It would be lying if I said I did not hate it, but knowing my mom, I doubted she would listen to my argument.
Over time, I just came to accept that it is just her way to express her love.
Though, it was exactly that love that she always bugged me about going back home.
Do I hate my hometown? Of course not.
Khanh Hoa, or more precisely Nha Trang city, is not a bad place to live, mind you.
Riding on Tran Phu Street in the afternoon with the wind from the East Blue flowing through my body was one of the best experiences I had growing up.
I would not hesitate to recommend anyone to choose Nha Trang as a vacation spot even if the feeling now could be a bit different (with the huge number of vehicles and tourists crowding the place and whatnot).
I did not want to come home because I found my life here comfortable.
Thanks to my IELTS score of 7.5 as well as my bachelor degree in Computer Science, I managed to get a remote job in an IT company.
In other words, I could live anywhere in Vietnam or the globe and I would still be able to work and get paid! (As long as the place had wifi connection of course :)) )
Moreover, my social life had always been hectic since I joined many communities.
Games, Mangas, Technology, or even odd ones like the Stock market.
With just the ability to use English, I got to meet many interesting people, heard about the weirdest things, and truly got exposed to the world with their many sides.
Honestly, who could have thought that a normal boy living in a seaside city from a third-world country would ever reach such height (Definitely not me, 20 years ago :)))) )
Then again, I really must thank my parents for forcing me to learn English as a kid.
If it was not for them, I would not be able to do what I could now.
But loving my parents was one thing, living my life how I saw fit was something else.
I could probably guess what my parents' intentions were by telling me to go home, they probably wanted me to settle down.
I never found it important to look for someone, and I really hated it if I was forced to live with someone I found no interest in.
To put it bluntly, I wanted to keep living freely as I had always been.
*Whoosh* *Whoosh* *Whoosh*
The fans inside the air conditioner spun heavily to fill my bedroom with the breeze, giving out a terribly loud noise.
Stop thinking for a bit, I took a look at my phone.
It was already 12 p.m, midnight.
Feeling sleepless after thinking so much, I grabbed the remote control on the drawer, turning off the A.C.
I left my bedroom, walking towards the balcony to get a good view of the city at night.
*Whooosh*
*Brvm* *Brvm*
*BIP* *BIP*
The lights were still on, and the streets were still filled with noises from the vehicles, restaurants, karaokes, or the bars.
The air vibrated with music and the sky was painted in yellow from different beacons.
Magnificent.
That would be the right word to describe this beautiful view.
*Whooosh*
Gusts of wind blew through me as I stood there watching in silent.
I had always thought that if I got to leave my home behind and live in the big city, I would be happy watching these views every nights.
But truth be told, I did not feel happy one bit seeing all these.
Because, for whatever reasons, I felt like I was missing something.
*Whoosh*
Another gust, this time stronger than before, even shooting tiny dust into my eyes.
I covered my eyes and walked back inside, closing the door.
The noise finally stopped and I somehow felt relieved.
The world outside the thin door was bright and lively but it was also noisy and full of dangers, only by staying inside that I felt comfortable.
But why?
Since when I even felt intimidated by some measly noises and dashing wind?
The younger me would have never acted so.
He would jump in joy and sing Uptown Funk from Bruno Mars while also dancing.
He would even come up to unfamiliar foreigners and talk to them for no reason.
The younger me had always been bold and cheerful.
But the me now no longer felt that way.
Because the me now had responsibilities and knew better to not act so immaturely.
I guessed, in some ways, I had been putting up walls and restraining myself from unnecessary communication as I grew older.
And now, all that I had left was this room. A quiet but also dark and empty room.
"..."
I sat on my bed, silently looking around the room.
Would this be how my life finally comes to? In this room, working, eating and sleeping all day and everyday?
Would I simply let my soul die like this?
"..."
No.
How could I possibly just let that happen?
If there was something about me that had not changed after all this time, it would be my unwillingness that refuse to give up without a fight.
Be it my first time getting a 3 in math or that time when I entered my first English speaking contest.
If I wanted to overcome my problem, I only needed to improve myself.
Talk more, read more, listen more, write more, and also start traveling.
I had only been living here for 6 years, but I had been cooped up in a room for my whole life.
I needed to leave in order to attain my true freedom.
That was the only answer.
"..."
I supposed I could finally get some sleep now.
But before then...
*Boing*
I stood up from my bed, making a loud noise, but I paid it no mind.
Walking to the glass door, I opened it with all my strength.
*Whooosh*
*Brvm*
*BIP* *BIP*
And as expected, the party was still going on, with all its vocals and light shows...
But unlike before, I no longer felt unhappy looking at it.
Because now, I could finally feel it, the feeling of the fresh wind.
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Sunday, March 24th, 2024
My Wind