Getting dumped
"Sorry. I have someone else now."
"Huh?"
Time suddenly stopped while her figure slowly leaves away. He just stood there petrified not knowing what just happened.
After God knows how long, he woke up from the trance and realized that it's already raining. He looked up at the sky and thought to himself how pathetic he was for causing Mami to suddenly break up with him.
With an empty feeling, he slowly left and walked away. As he remembers the good things, they have experienced in the past 30 days, tears uncontrollably fall down his cheeks.
"Where did I fuck up?"
He continued walking without care and direction but when he looked ahead, he's already at the apartment where he's staying.
He went up and went inside his unit. Still not fully comprehending the situation that happened he fell down and passed out due to exhaustion.
His apartment was small and cluttered, with clothes strewn across the bed and empty ramen cups littering the floor. The walls were painted a dull beige while the rest looks common and clean. A single glass door led out to a narrow balcony overlooking a few trees behind his home, with raindrops streaming down the glass.
There were a few personal touches that showed Kazuya's interests: a poster of his favorite anime series hung on one wall, and a pile of business textbooks sat on cabinet beside his bed. The air inside was stuffy and stale, with a faint smell of sweat and instant noodles.
After about 2 hours, he suddenly woke up from chills as he never got to change his wet clothes. He suddenly remembers what happened and went to a fetal position not knowing whether it's the cold or if it's the breakup that caused him to do so.
"Mami, what did I do wrong?"
He teared up again and he felt time slows down and his breath shortening. He tried to stand up but to no avail as his body felt heavy.
He tried again and he slowly made his way to his bathroom. He is slowly losing the feelings of his hand and his leg, but he was able to successfully turn the hot shower before he sit down just below it.
What happened to Kazuya was so devastating, he experienced his first anxiety attack. Mami was his first love. He thought they had a really good time this past month. They kissed and even named their future babies.
But he never understands why she broke up with him. Did she hate him because he kept looking at his boobs and thighs? Him being at 20 yrs old explains his horniness. They were in a relationship, and he felt that it was slowly improving, so sooner or later, they would eventually reach 2nd base.
His senses came back and felt the numbness going away. He got up and undress himself to have a proper shower this time.
After some time, he got dressed and looked at the time. Seeing that it's already 6 PM, he felt hungry and made an instant ramen.
While waiting for the noodles to soften, he looked at himself in the mirror and saw how his eyes are still a bit reddened from crying and tiredness is clearly seen within them.
He sighed and carefully walked to his small table since he is feeling a bit dizzy. He eats his ramen and uses his phone to check if Mami messaged him. None.
He checks her twitter account but saw that error message that she blocked him, tears forming in his eyes.
"Did she really have another guy? What did I do?"
Lamenting about her dumping him, he brought down his ramen and lie down on his bed to cry. He was really hurt.
Despite being hungry, he wasn't really in the mood to continue eating. He continued crying about how powerless he is in the situation and eventually he fell asleep.
He woke up the next day with both a headache and body-ache. Not only that, as he really hasn't had dinner and lunch yesterday, he's starving as well.
He grabbed his phone and order through UberEats for some porridge for his fever. He also tried applying and putting a cold cloth to his forehead.
To stop himself from thinking about yesterday, he busied himself with Youtube while waiting for his food.
The food arrived and he finished it all up in just a few minutes. Lying down back to his bed, he cannot make himself at least enjoy watching the videos that are commonly interesting to him in the past.
Subconsciously, he opened his photos app and the first thing that he saw are his photos with Mami and not realizing it, his tears are forming again, and he cried once more.
This routine has continued for 2 more days until his fever went away too. He sat up from his bed and notices the tear stains from all the crying he had this past 3 days.
He had a difficult time standing up due to being in bed most of the time and he walk to the kitchen to drink a glass of water but at this time, he noticed his figure in the mirror and went up to it.
He saw how devastated his face was and at that moment, he pitied himself.
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
With a bit of resolve, he prevented the tear that was forming in his eyes, and he tries to smile. Of course, it looked cringy but at least he is recovering somehow.
He took a shower to freshen up and used his phone to browse the web on how to move on. He knew it would be very difficult, but he would use this little resolve he gained earlier to take that very first step.
Most of what he saw first are vague and difficult to achieve in his circumstances such as seeking closure with the other party or recognizing his situation as he is still hurting. But one thing that he saw that could be useful is distraction by improving himself be it physically or through learning new skills.
As he is already studying business administration and it's hard to focus learning when someone is in this period of their life, he chose to make himself better through exercises.
He wore his tracksuit to try and jog for a while. As he is going down the stairs, his right leg suddenly felt a jolt of electric shock and stumbled on the stairs.
He tries to maintain his balance, but he couldn't. He rolled a bit and fortunately, he didn't hit any of his vital parts of the body such as his head/neck.
He ultimately managed to grab hold of the metal railings with his right hand to stop his momentum, but the sharp edge at the end wounded his palm. It made a long cut but fortunately, it is not too deep.
Despite the commotion, no one checked up on him as it seemed the neighbors are away. He immediately went inside his unit and followed the first aid method he found on Google on fixing his palm up.
After some time, he carefully went down this time to proceed with his plan. Kazuya returned after jogging for half an hour, panting and tired but a little relieved that he's doing something to better his situation.
The following day, he did his best to not use his phone and used his laptop instead. He's looking for workout guides and in addition, a local gym in case he further goes down this path.
After memorizing the key details, he did those but sweat continually pours down his body and he has to postpone this new sets he learned.
"I think, I really have to apply for a gym membership this time."
This way he can do all of those including weights. He can probably jog back and forth so this would complete his daily routine.
"Ahh.. it's so tiring" he slumped down before standing up so he can jog outside.
He looked at the mirror first and with full conviction told himself he can do this. He's not sure if it's going to solve his problem but he can feel that there is an effect somehow. He can focus on it without having to think about the breakup.
"Let's go"
Update/Notes:
1. I will be using bed instead of a futon.