25 snapped

Hello, everyone! After many months away, I decided to come back and post a couple of chapters :) I know many of you probably have lost interest in this story as I've been away for so long, but I hope someone can enjoy it! I don't know how often I'll be updating here again but I'll try to get this story finished!

Also, this chapter gets a little heavy ;) enjoy!

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Chanwoo

"Hi," Hyun-ki started, his voice coming out slightly surprised. My eyes rose to his skittishly and Minjun beamed at him from where he was stood next to me. Hyunie's eyes wandered down to Minjun's arms also carrying a couple of bags himself, causing him to raise a brow questioningly.

"Hey," Minjun responded, his deep voice warming the cool evening air around us that was seeping into the apartment more and more with every second. "You look amazing." His eyes were kind as they bore into Hyun-Ki's, causing him to flush embarrassingly and thank him for the compliment.

"I'll just go put these inside," I coughed awkwardly and slipped past them and into the kitchen. As if the night hadn't started off any more uncomfortably, I was now stuck in the kitchen. I scratched the back of my neck and didn't quite know where to go.

Either I stay cooped up in the kitchen like a coward until I hear the inevitable closing of the front door, or I go out there and add fuel to the fire while I try my best to ignore the persistent stinging deep in my chest.

Why did it feel like I should apologize to Hyun? I felt like I had intruded on something intimate that I shouldn't have seen.

While it wasn't my fault that Minjun had offered to help me carry groceries up to the apartment because he'd already been headed that way, I still felt like I'd done something wrong.

From the kitchen, I heard Minjun's annoyingly smooth voice echoing softly through the entryway, "Here you go," I heard the plastic ruffling of the grocery bags as I assumed Minjun handed them off to Hyun.

I stepped closer to the kitchen's entryway to try and hear what he was saying a bit more clearly. After a beat of silence, he elaborated, "I helped him carry these up. Kind of a weird coincidence that we were headed to the same apartment, no?"

They conversed quietly for another minute or so before I finally gathered the courage to make a break for Hyun's bedroom just across the hall.

I tried to be casual and discreet as if I wasn't phased in the slightest about the situation. After all, Hyunie had every right to go out and meet new people, date, and have fun.

Just like everyone else.

Even if he's not like 'everyone else' to me.

However, that didn't help settle the ache in my bones and the painful thud of my heart as I thought about him with other guys.

I thought I made it to the other side of the hall successfully, but before I could read the threshold of the bedroom, Hyunki's voice called out to me softly."

"Chan," he peered over at me from behind the hallway's wall, "I put the rest of the grocery bags on the counter. Could you put those away for me?"

His eyes averted after meeting mine every few seconds. He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt inside. His soft voice sounded apologetic, which made me feel even worse. He had no reason to feel sorry. I only hoped that I was better at concealing my emotions as to not worry him or make him feel any weirder about this evening.

"Of course," I managed to paste a small smile on my lips, trying my best to encourage Hyunie that everything was perfectly normal and that I wasn't battling my mind inside. "Have fun tonight, okay? Text me if you need anything."

Hyun's shoulders visibly deflated, and he looked a bit less tense. Apparently, my words managed to ease him a bit, thankfully. He smiled a teeny, tiny, barely-there grin as his doe eyes peered into mine.

"Okay, thanks." He then turned around and walked down the hall, mumbling something to Minjun that sounded a bit like 'you ready?' before the click of the front door shutting sounded throughout the apartment.

Now, I was left with my thoughts.

Of all things, I had to meet the guy that was taking Ki out. On top of that, he just had to be kind and respectful.

It's not that I didn't want Hyunie to be with someone amazing, but I mean come on- what person goes out of their way to help a stranger carry their groceries up to their apartment?

It didn't surprise me too much, though. Of the few guys that Hyunie had been with and shared about- after I teased him and begged him to tell me about them, they all seemed like pretty decent people.

It never ended up working out, but Hyun wasn't keen on elaborating too much. He just insisted that they'd done nothing wrong, it just 'wasn't right.'

At the time, I didn't know what that meant. I thought that maybe Hyunie let his lack of confidence get in the way of his budding relationships. Now, I get that feeling whenever I so much as think about being with any other person than him.

I have no right to be mad or jealous about anything. If what everyone says is true, if Hyun really does- or did, have feelings for me, my chances are probably over.

I had years to realize and question whether Hyunie really did see me as more than just his best friend. Now, it feels like there's no way he could possibly still want me after all this time.

My head span for what felt like hours. I put away the groceries in a daze. My mind was running on fumes. It seemed like nothing gave me energy anymore. Food and sleep did not affect me. The only thing that filled me back up every day was being with Hyunki.

There was only so much I could do to distract myself. I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, refusing to let my mind debilitate me further. If I got even more lost in my own thoughts, I was sure to drown in them with no way back to the surface.

The clock read half-past eight. After checking my phone all evening, I had yet to receive any messages from Hyun. Obviously, I should be the last thing on his mind while he's on a date with another man. Despite this, I couldn't push away the worried voice nagging me in the back of my conscience.

It didn't end there, though. Innocent and pure-hearted worries about Hyun's safety led my mind to wander to dark corners that I didn't want to visit. I couldn't stop the thoughts of Hyunie with other men from burning behind my eyelids.

My mind painted images of him tangled with strangers, touching him and feeling his lips in ways that nobody should be able to. It repeated over and over again, like a broken record. Their dirty lips tainted his soft, warm skin. They took his purity away, grasping and tearing at him like he was nothing but a piece of meat.

Throwing my phone down next to me on the couch with a frustrated huff, I sat up. I scrubbed over my face with my hands and groaned, losing all hope. I was going crazy, and just when I thought I finally had a grasp, my mind would run its devilish course and I would lose it all over again. If I stayed in this apartment that smelled like him in every corner and had his belongings in every crevice any longer, I was surely going to break.

I shoved my phone in the pocket of my black jeans and pulled on my hoodie strewn over the side of the couch before making my way to the front door hastily. I grabbed my wallet from the small table in the entryway, tripping over myself slightly as I hurried to slip on my sneakers.

I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I had to get out.

The burst of the cold night air that surrounded me as soon as I stepped outside and locked the door behind me managed to snap me out of my daze a bit. I took a deep breath of fresh air before making my way down the apartment's outdoor hall, heading toward the parking lot.

A familiar voice made my ears prickle, causing me to turn my head to the left where I hadn't noticed two people standing outside of a familiar sleek, black car.

The sweet, small giggle that left the shorter man's mouth made my stomach drop. I knew at that moment that I should have just turned away and kept walking.

Whatever was going on was something private and wasn't for me to witness. However, my masochistic mind trapped me there, forcing me to stay put by anchoring my feet to the concrete beneath me.

The sight made my stomach churn and my blood run cold. Hyun-ki was turned away from me, his arms wrapped loosely around Minjun's neck as their lips touched.

I was fighting an inner battle that I was losing terribly. My conscience was laughing at me in my head, while my heart quivered and crumbled further with every passing second.

I let out a struggled breath and lost my balance a bit, causing me to stumble back slightly. My sneakers scuffed on the concrete loud enough that Minjun noticed the sudden noise in the otherwise perfectly quiet night.

A voice in my head was furiously telling me to book it out of there as fast as humanly possible, but my legs were suddenly so incredibly heavy that it felt as if I was frozen to the ground. Minjun's eyes skirted over to the direction of the sound, before recognizing me and breaking his and Hyun's embrace.

Hyun-ki turned around, confusion written on his soft features as he analyzed the scene unfolding. His eyes widened when he saw me standing there, only about fifteen feet away. His cheeks flushed a dark shade of berry pink before he turned back around quickly. He mumbled something to Minjun in a haste. They were just far enough that I couldn't decipher their hushed words.

I knew I should apologize and leave immediately, but I was too overwhelmed and shocked with today's bad luck to do anything but continue to stand there like a creep, and probably what Minjun assumed as a pervert.

Minjun smiled softly, pulling Hyun-ki into a hug and looking at me with something mixed with anger and embarrassment. For the first time in what felt like forever, my eyes dropped to my feet, but the image of them was still burning hot behind my eyelids. I heard the car door open, causing me to look back up with a cold fear coursing through my veins.

Minjun got into the driver's seat and shut the door behind him before rolling the window down and flashing a sweet smile at Hyun as they conversed. Then, a cog in my mind was finally dusted off and gave me a bit of control back. My legs felt a bit lighter, letting me move again.

Before I could do anything to make the situation somehow worse, I turned around and walked down the sidewalk. If I pretended that it wasn't weird or awkward, maybe I could convince Hyunki that everything was normal and this wouldn't do any damage.

However, with every step I took away from them, I felt the ground crumbling beneath my feet. I messed up Hyunie's date twice in the same evening. Not only was I a horrible best friend, but I felt so incredibly selfish. The worst part was that there was nothing I could do to fix this.

Seconds before I was about to round the corner of the apartment complex to leave the property, I heard footsteps slapping on the concrete behind me. I turned, gulping when I saw Hyun slowing to a stop a few feet away and looking at me with too many things at once. His eyes were tired but held a vacancy that was never there before. My concern was growing more and more with every second that I observed his unusual behavior.

"Where do you think you're going?" His voice was cold, much colder than I'd ever heard it directed toward me before.

"Um," My mind was stuck, knowing I couldn't explain myself in a way he'd understand at the moment, "I don't know-"

Hyunki silenced me with his small hand before letting out a puff of air and turning around. He stalked toward the apartment complex's entrance with a newfound purpose that was unfamiliar to me.

I considered just continuing my previous journey to some undecided destination for the night but decided against it as I took in the anger that seemed to be radiating off of Hyun as he stormed back to the apartment. Also, I knew that there was no running away from what happened. Ignoring the matter at hand would be childish and would prove me to be an even worse friend than I already was at the very moment.

I followed him quickly, shoving my shaking hands into the pockets of my jeans. I cursed myself mentally the entire way, wishing that a bolt of lightning would shoot down from the sky and strike me.

After all, I knew I deserved it after screwing things up and making it awkward once again. Couldn't I catch a break?

A minute later, I warily approached Hyunki's looming, oddly quiet form opening the front door and took a deep breath before following him inside.

He kicked off his shoes in silence and dropped his coat on the kitchen table before coming to a halt in the family room. I removed my own shoes before cautiously stepping toward him, not knowing what I could say to him to make things better.

"Hyunie-" I started, before Hyun turned around, hands on his hips as his chest rose and fell shakily.

"What the hell was that?" His tone was deadly, face wearing an expression I'd never seen on him before. It was like the Yoo Hyunki I knew since childhood was replaced with someone new.

"What do you mean?" My voice shook slightly, my throat suddenly a desert void of water. My hands shook slightly as I watched my best friend fall apart before me.

"Why do you keep getting in the way?" His voice was low, as if he was any louder, he would lose his cool completely. "Twice. Twice in one night, you've managed to somehow mess things up for me." He shook his head slightly, scoffing, and beginning to pace back and forth.

It was almost like he was talking to himself; like I was a figment of his imagination and wasn't actually standing there next to him.

"Hyunie, I really didn't mean to. I had no idea you'd be out there-doing- doing that with him." As soon as the stuttered words passed through my pathetic lips, I knew I screwed up- yet again.

"Doing that? Why do you say it like I've sinned? Am I not allowed to do something as simple as kissing someone?" Hyunki looked at me incredulously from where he stood across the room. He was positively steaming, worrying me more with every passing moment.

He was like an enraged animal, and I was attempting to tame him. I had to choose my next words carefully as I knew that his anger would most likely escalate no matter what I said.

"I didn't mean it like that, Hyunie. I just meant that I didn't expect you to be doing anything like that. Just calm down, alright?" My attempt to cool him down only added fuel to the fire. The worst part was that it was as though he was venting. It was like he was getting rid of frustration he'd been holding onto forever.

"Calm down? How can I calm down when you've ruined the one shot I've had at happiness in what feels like forever?" His eyes met mine, a wild glare replacing their usually calming glow. "Why do you always have to treat me like I'm supposed to be some innocent little child? I'm just as much of an adult as you are and I deserve just as much happiness."

If what the words he was saying were true and not just said out of anger, how long had he felt this way?

My blood began to warm, and my stomach coiled tightly.

My head was beginning to ache as the situation just continued to get worse, and my irritation toward myself was beginning to explode inside me, causing me to lose my cool slightly.

"I never said you don't deserve happiness. Also, I don't treat you like a child. I know you're an adult and I respect that along with whatever decisions you choose to make. I always have." I stepped closer to Hyunki, my hands forming into fists as my previously trapped anger and jealousy flowed free against my will. "Why the hell are you so hung up on this dude? What makes him so much better than the others? He doesn't look so special to me, you can do better."

We were now stood only a few feet apart, Hyunki suddenly stopping his persistent pacing- which I knew was a nervous habit, to look at me dead in the eyes.

This new side of Hyunki was a ticking bomb, and I lit his fuse.

"Why the fuck do you even care, Chanwoo?!" Hyun's voice was louder than I'd ever heard it. His eyes were wide and glazed over with fury and a sheen of fresh, frustrated tears.

I stared at him for a moment, trying to make sense of what was going on. One thing was for sure; Hyun hated me right now, but he also looked incredibly frustrated with himself for reasons I didn't know. His fading blonde hair was almost completely grown out now. His mostly chocolate locks stood up in messy tufts from his continuous tugging at the strands, and his skin was flushed pink on his cheeks.

At that moment, I finally snapped.

We never fought like this before. There was no going back from this. No matter what I could have said at that moment, there were no words I could put together to express the many things I had been feeling since the accident.

It didn't matter anymore. Even if he kicked me out and never wanted to see me again, at least he would know how I felt in the end.

I turned my brain off, accepting things for the shit show that they'd somehow turned into. After all the time I spent holding in the way I felt, and after feeling like I was walking on eggshells, it felt like it was for nothing. There was no more protecting myself or claiming to protect Hyun. I'd already ruined things this much, how could it get worse?

"Fuck it."

In one last coherent decision, I pushed Hyun-ki back against the wall behind him. In a heated fury, everything around us blurred as I pressed my lips to his.