Determined

The next few days, I did nothing and just stayed in my pyjamas, and focus only on my paintings. I called the office, told them I had flu and need to take absence leave for a few days. However, they informed just take the rest of the week, which was something I really needed this time. 

But I was afraid I couldn't afford it, as I needed to get my paintings finished and send them to the art gallery. I wouldn't have been a good company to anyone anyways. So I made my third pot of coffee of the day and checked my phone to see if I had any messages.

So Mo Ting had not made any attempt to contact me since he left.

Hmm.

How does a person just forget about someone after being with them for four years?

A fire stirred in my blood just thinking about it as the way I saw things I had two choices, I could sit in my tiny apartment and let my life die out, or I could suck up what happened and go out into the world and live.

At last, I decided to go out and live as I was not ready to die yet as I had too many things I wanted to do. So I decided to frantically clean my apartment, which was long overdue, and I was ashamed that I let it get that way. In the end, I took a plastic bag and started to toss everything out that reminded me of him.

I was determined to throw out everything in this apartment that showed sign of him. By the time I was finished, my little home practically bare.

The pictures of me and him that usually at the bookshelves already I discarded it which make me felt the emptiness in my heart. 

After showered, I just stood in front of the bathroom mirror and wiped the steam that formed on it. I looked at myself for the first time in days.

When I look at my hazelnut eyes, it reminds me what Mo Ting used to say that it looks like chocolate nuts. However, the eyebags that formed underneath my eyes showed that I was really tired of all things that had happened lately. I just brush my long hair slowly, and then fingered mousse through it, so it dried wavy. I put on some makeup to covered up the tiredness and depression to hide the fact that I just locked up myself in the apartment for a week.

When I wear my favourite jean and surprised it was too loose that needed to put belt. I lose weight too much cause all my clothes were getting so big when I put on my body. My body getting small since the breakup. 

Once I was ready, I took in a deep breath and called the cab.

It time to get out of reality and start the new chapter of my life.