28 [27] Savannah POV

The rest of the BBQ or backyard party was more or less the same with me spending the rest of the time with Katie glaring at Jill while also trying to keep Emily from sleeping with me. That night I spent it with Katie, Emily almost fought her way into the bedroom with us but Katie kept her back while she also slipped her number into my pocket.

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Savannah POV

I woke up that morning to Malcolm asking me a stupid question while also taking the warmth away that he had, though the room temperature I am sure was over 85f (29.4c) it was still nice to cuddle him. After he left I stayed in his bed and thought about everything that has happened over these past months, I am now sure if he wasn't seeing Katie I would love him.

What am I even thinking.... it was a fact that I was in love with him just that if I even attempted to tell him then I would be like his brother Lip, with him but not able to keep him tied down. I knew not to take the words he said that drunken night to heart since he would never admit them aloud, though people did say you spoke your mind when drunk.

As I was lying there in the heat with my chest exposed someone walked in, looking up it was Fiona who was looking at me with a raised brow so I matched her staring back. "Can I help you?" I asked seeing she was staring at me as she went around the room.

She paused, "You really like him don't you?"

We both knew who she was talking about and I saw no reason to hide it, "Yeah I really do, though I don't think it will amount to anything. He has that rich girl I am sure in the end that it will be her instead of me."

With an arm full of clothes she smiled at me, "Please. That rich girl is the fling.... I am only going to say this once so listen closely cause though I may be a cool sister my love for my brother comes first." I nodded asking her to go on, "He needs you. Even if that rich girl was to ever show up here she is the passing fancy because unlike you she has had everything handed to her in life so she doesn't understand him."

"Malcolm may seem like the most mature of my brothers but he is honestly the most childish and immature. He is only holding himself back like this because he knows that if he chooses now then he has to show his true heart to one of you... look at Lip and understand why he doesn't want to do that." She said looking me over she was already sitting at the foot of the bed.

"What should I do then?" Even I couldn't believe that I was sitting here asking her for advice, over the past couple of months I have seen how her relationships have gone.

"Be honest with him, if you want him to be only yours tell him. If you want to keep acting like you are okay with him being with other girls then you are going to be heartbroken in the end." She picked up the clothes she had put down before walking to the door.

"Thanks Fiona." I said lightly but she heard every word.

"Don't mention it, I will deny this also if you tell anyone but I want you to win his heart and be with him. I don't think any other girl will suit him." Not even giving my a chance to catch my thoughts about that bomb she walked out of the room with his and Lips clothes. I had to admire the girl she might not show that she likes me but at least she knows how to take care of her family.

(The time line is the same as show soooo yeah this is early 2012, songs that I put in it won't always accurate time line wise so buzz off.)

Thinking of her words I grabbed my phone and put in my headphones, when I left here I had a long day ahead of me but I wanted to think this over before I started my day. The Kid Laroi- Selfish was playing.

I hope you know what you did to me

I'm grateful for what you did for me

You showed me that you ain't shit

And these bitches is dangerous

Now I do 'em just how you did to me

And I know you see the pain in my eyes

Every secret and lie, got a reason to cry

'Fore I sleep at night

I need my peace of mind

I see you fine

But I'm far from that, so

Now I'ma be savage

But you made it happen

And you made a habit

I get it now

I wonder what happened

I thought we would last 'til we turn into ashes

Burnin' and crashin'

Why can't I get past it?

Why can't I get past?

Damn, girl, you changed up the best way

I just feel sorry for my next one

'Cause I'ma be selfish

I'm gon' be selfish

And no one can change my mind

No one can help me

Oh, I'm gon' be selfish

I'm gon' be selfish

And no one can change my mind

No one can help me

Oh, I'm gon' be

Right when this part dropped Malcolm walked in with a smile on his face he had an air conditioner on his shoulder as he looked down at me, I was still naked except for my panties. From my workouts with him my body was more toned then from what it used to be, I was glad to see his eyes look over me like he wanted to devour me it was a nice feeling.

"Like what you see?" I said pausing the song and taking out one of the ear buds.

Instead of answering he leans over setting down the air conditioner and kisses my neck, it starts slowly until he starts to slowly suck on it no doubt trying to leave a mark. I can do nothing but moan into it he always magically knows the right place to kiss me and make me get into the mood, though after sucking my nipples for awhile he stops.

My breathing is heavy and my eyes are hooded, looking at him I want nothing more than to jump him but he already moved away and is putting the A.C in the window. "And to answer your question.... yes I like what I see." He says turning back to me and smiling down at me.

"Well then why don't you join me in bed then?" slowly moving to the end of the bed I get on to my knees and push my breast out for him to gawk at, him swallowing doesn't escape my notice either.

"I think-----" When he was going to answer he was cut off by the shout of Fiona which ruined the mood well at least for me, "MALCOLM CAN YOU COME HELP WITH THE OTHER A.C?!!!"

Ahhh sorry..... Will you be here tonight?" He asked looking down at me there is something in his eyes but he has been good at hiding his emotions so I don't know what it is.

"Can't have to make a run with my brothers but I will be back early morning so..... keep the bed warm for me yeah?" Getting up I slide on my shorts and put on the swim top I had on.

"You bet." He leans in and kisses me actually holding me against the wall for awhile, it is honestly one one the hottest things when he takes control of me like this. After a full ten minutes and when Fiona finally came in pulling him away was I able to get free from him stealing all my oxygen, not that I am complaining popping back in my earbuds I hit play.

Bad, bad, bad

Because I just can't do this again

Don't wanna feel like this again

So she has to

Now I'm up in L.A.

I'm with a bitch from the Bay

I'm tellin' her that I love her

But my feelings will fade (oh, woah, woah)

Because I'll find another

And I'll tell her the same

Knowin' that I don't mean a thing I say (say)

Now I'ma be savage

But you made it happen

And you made a habit

I get it now

I wonder what happened

I thought we would last 'til we turn into ashes

As the song repeats something in me is just tired of everything, the lyrics are suppose to be about a bad relationship and him overcoming it and becoming stronger for the next. For me though it is making my life play in my mind like a million pictures, starting from when my mother left all the way until seeing Malcolm's smile.

To others I am suppose to be the tough girl who is a drug dealer and has brothers who will kick your ass if you mess with me, but I just want to be the girl with friends and great boyfriend and have brothers who will kick your ass if you mess with me. Ever since I met Malcolm I have been thinking more and more about the future, next year is our last and thanks to him I actually have a chance to get into a college, even if not the best.

Sighing I thought this as I walked into the house, sitting on the couch Zach was sucking face with his flavor of the week, he reminded me of myself before I started messing with Malcolm. Adam I could hear over the music coming from his room, well more like I could hear whatever girl he had for the day with him in there.

"Hey Princess, how was your night?" My dad ask from the kitchen table cleaning one of his guns again.

"It was fine same old same old. How about you guys anything interesting happen while I was away?" I said taking the seat next to him and taking a drink of him whiskey, I had been lax on it the more time I spent with Malcolm.

"Nothing new but we are getting more powder and ice today so I am glad you came back in time. Is that boy treating you right? I don't want to have to send your brothers over to deal with him." This made me laugh, no offense to my brothers but they couldn't touch Malcolm. Though I felt sweet that my dad cared he knew I never showed interest in anything like this so I was glad he was actually paying attention to my relationship.

Seeing that I was hesitant to speak he nodded his head which we both stood up to and headed out to the back where there were shooting targets at, "Go ahead and tell me stop holding it in." he said messing with the sight on his pistol.

"I don't know what to say really... These past couple have months have been better than any that I have had in a long time but at the same time I feel that it will all go away." I said not bothering to hold in what I thought.

"And why is that?" he asked pausing a moment.

"Well and no offense cause I love you dad but it is because of this life we lead," that was just half of it anyway, "I don't want to bring anything like this around his family, what if something bigger happens then when me and my brothers got jumped last time and I am with his family?"

He didn't speak but was letting me get out and it made me spill my other half, "Then there are other girls, like the rich one he splits the other half of his time with. What if one day along the line he realizes she will be way better for him and goes to be with him instead of being with me?"

"So you are afraid he is like your mother?" My dad ask ignoring the comment about what we do for a living.

That made me pause and wonder though, is that what I thought? My mom left me and my family for a wealthy person am I afraid that he will do the same and leave me for Katie? the answer was like being hit by a house... Yes I was worried he would do that.

He must have seen something in my eyes because he pulled me into a hug something he rarely did unless one of us was really losing it, "Princess you have to be stronger, you are sitting here worrying about if he will choose her or you but have you even asked if he is thinking something like that? Better yet have you told him how you have felt at all?"

This made me freeze since it was true.

"Look I am not saying just go out there and ruin everything, think it over and know this is what you really want before you try and say anything to him. And about the 'job' you do don't worry about it you never needed to join me and your brothers if you want to stop then do it, I would much rather have you happy." he pulled back slightly smiling down at me.

"But dad---"

"Enough!," cutting he off his eyes told me he was serious, "Stop trying to deny that you can do better, me and your brothers both know that you are smarter than us. Even your school called to tell me that. From now on just focus on being a teenage girl and wherever you end up later I will pay for it even if it is a college out of state, if that is what you want."

Something then happened that hasn't since the day my mother left us..... I cried. It was ugly too with snot and everything this just proved to me how much my father loved me, I was free. No more deals or spending time selling drugs with the thought that I could get caught and go to jail, no I was free to do as I pleased.

My dad pulled me into a hug and squeezed tight it wasn't until I calmed down that I noticed my brothers in the hug too smiling at me, apparently they thought the same as my dad. "So what now?" I asked looking at them.

"What do you mean 'what now?' go and enjoy your youth with that guy of yours and stop being a p*ssy and tell him how you feel." Adam says smiling at me.

"Let's celebrate first!" my dad said looking at all of us.

"What about--" Zach said but got a hand to the face.

"Nope nothing tonight we will handle it tomorrow but it has been awhile and I think that I should take my family out for a dinner since we haven't done it in years. Just the family though so no girl or boyfriends, maybe next free day you can invite him." he looked down at me with a raised brow.

I nodded meekly snuggling into his arms again, I felt all the weight that I had been carrying drop off my shoulders.