Painful Secrets

A man called Life

once asked death

'why are Mortals

afraid of you

And not me?'

Death replied,

'Because you are a 

beautiful lie and 

I am a painful truth'.

She was dying, she could feel it, she could hear the beep even in her unconscious state, she could hear the shouts, the fear in their voices, their dilemma, should they save the mother or the baby she was carrying. She tried to get her mouth open, to tell them to save her unborn child and let her die.

Then she heard their frustration.

'the baby put up a protective barrier that repelled any outside force'

'how is that possible'

'the wounds are healing'

'are you sure the baby is the one doing this?'

But she was sure, the day she had felt her baby, heard the voice in her head telling her all was going to be okay, was the day, she knew without a doubt, that her child, the one she was carrying, was going to be anything but not special.

And that meant she'd always be in danger.

'she's getting stable.'

And then there was nothing but sweet relief and quiet.

Seventeen years later

I smiled sweetly at Angel Carmichael, even though I knew she knew it was forced. "I'm sorry sweetheart but I won't be available all weekday, my schedule is full, but I can recommend another tutor." I offered.

She scowled. "But I want the best."

"I know honey, but if you need me next time make sure to make an appointment."

"I'll pay you double."

I made an uncharacteristic sound.

"Triple!" She persisted.

"Sorry honey, I'm to busy, but if a space comes up I'll let you know." She stomped away, muttering under her breath about how I was going to need her help in the future and she wouldn't help me.

I turned back to my friends who were snickering after listening to the whole conversation.

It was sad, really, Angel thought she could demand anything and get it since her father was part of the council that made laws for the shifter community, but I liked proving her wrong.

"Did you see how red her face was?" Kemi asked. She was a 5'7 fire elemental and never failed to remind us that she was the rich one among us, her jet black hair was packed in a ponytail, her mouth stretched in a lazy grin, her nonwhite skin glowing a healthy hue, her outfit screaming rich. She was the epitome of gorgeous.

"I'd think you'd have accepted because of the money she was offering but babe, you're like Lukas Mayas in human form." Johnson told me, grinning at Kemi with his heart in his eyes.

I snickered secretly. Even though Johnson was a 6'3 fire elemental with huge toned muscles and a handsome face, he was a walking wet dream, but still, he insisted he was no good for Kemi, And I really had no idea how Kemi didn't see it when she called herself smart.

"I can't reschedule one person for another, if I did that I wouldn't have anyone worth it to tutor." I said. "I mean, the rich kids only need me once in a while, but the average ones need me all the time."

"I hear ya." Johnson nodded. "And one day I'm going to find out your secret."

My heartbeat accelerated.

He can't find out, he couldn't.

But the voice that had always been in my head ever since I could remember said otherwise.

He'll find out the voice whispered. One day you won't be able to hide me anymore.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up! I screamed mentally.

The voice chuckled and went quiet.

"What's wrong with you?" Kemi asked, eyes narrowed to slits, looking at me suspiciously.

"Nothing." I rolled my eyes heavenward. "Why do you always ask me everytime someone talks about secrets?"

She shrugged, "because you go stiff and your eyes become unfocused like you're having a conversation inside your head."

If only she knew how right she was.

"Yeah." Johnson agreed. "It almost looks like you're giving yourself a pep talk inside your head." 

I scratched my neck awkwardly, I needed to change the conversation.

"Hey, so when are you having your occasional power test?" I asked Kemi.

Her eyes lit up. "On Friday, that's why you gotta help me practice."

I rolled my eyes, "you say that all the time."

She pursed her lips, "it's not a crime to help your friend."

I snorted, "yeah right, why don't I just help everyone else in school."

She gasped dramatically. "You want to collect money?"

"I collect money from everyone I tutor." I said.

"Well you're not tutoring me, you're helping me." She countered.

"It's the same thing."

"No it's not." She knuckled a fake tear. "I can't believe our friendship can be bought."

I groaned. "What's that got to do with this conversation, of course our friendship isn't based on benefits, you're my best friend because of how you are and not who you are."

She sniffed, "so you don't want my money?"

"Of course I don't…" it took me a moment to know where the conversation was going.

"No wait—"

"Great." She cut me off. "Then you will tutor me without expecting anything in return."

I scowled at her, while she giggled.

I turned to glare at Johnson who was trying his hardest not to laugh.

  ★★★

I rubbed my eyes and sighed, this was one of the reasons I hated tutoring freshmens. It's as if their goal is to frustrate me.

"Commit to the fight!." I shouted, the hundredth time.

"But it's not a real fight." Jessica replied.

"You're here to attack, kill, destroy, win. Commit to having that mentality the whole time. Don't go in with the 'let's see what happens first'"

She squinted.

"that's exactly the kind of thing that makes you second guess yourself and increases your chances of losing. There's a difference between being smart and being cautious. It's ok to observe and think, but please—Commit."

"But my mind is here, I mean I'm fighting aren't I."

I groaned, rich elemental kids and their mentality to think they're always right.

I threw a punch at her face, and when I heard the satisfied crunch and her ear piercing scream I smiled mentally.

"What the heck was that—" I backhanded her in the face.

And my frustration was sated at the shocked look on her face. She went from shocked to confused and then confusion to rage.

I smirked, Revenge was a great catalyst. she lunged at me.

I didn't waste time in fighting back.

She winced with every punch I threw.

"Every punch should have a breath. This makes you faster and more powerful. Exhale sharply!"

She did just that.

"It also helps you relax and save energy while also helping you establish a rhythm."

I snarled when she tried breathing in longer.

I threw another hit.

"Keep in mind this is meant to a be a SMALL BREATH, not a loud huff and puff."

She growled in understanding.

"Breathe every time you're on the defensive so that your body can take full advantage of this "resting state". Breathe in a relaxed manner, not a panicky manner".

I exhaled when she hit me in the face.

"Good, block the pain, ignore it and focus more on landing a hit."

"Tighten your stomach don't inhale to keep it from getting hit, it will get hit." I said a matter of fact. "so you need your muscles to absorb the pain."

I said, when she inhaled to keep me from hitting her stomach.

"Don't focus on your fist, focus on driving the power to your elbow to produce a strong and painful hit."

"Good, good, good, we're getting somewhere."