6 ch 5

(Kaoru pov)

I looked at the sight of silent scenery outside the confines of my room. The subtle morning light gently touched the grass and sweet breeze left drops of dew that gleamed under the light.

....

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!? YOU DAMNED MUTT!!"

A loud piercing shout echoed out from across the halls even so far to sting my ears as it was followed by the violent sound of thundering plates crashing on the floor.

My peaceful morning was the completely perturbed as I felt a vein in my head snap under the irritation almost a headache.

I stood up from my bed to see the commotion uncaring that I was properly dressed or not even if I was still wearing my night robes and my hair wasn't even washed.

.....

Finding myself in the long and wide empty halls, I walked among the array of shoji. Some servants passed around beginning the day.

I watched people scrub the floors, some were carrying trays to wake the other clan members, I even recognized some high ranking servants out to serve father and my older brothers but everyone was disturbed by a sudden loud clash which allowed me to easily find the source.

I swiftly opened the shoji furiously wondering what all the ruckus was about only to find a familiar ragged rose haired boy yelling and quarreling with an elderly maid.

"YOU BRAT! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

The silver haired old woman shouted in anger her loud voice projecting itself out the halls.

On the floor were shattered porcelain plates those delicate things scattered sharp edges carelessly on the floor along with smushed ruined food. The scent was starting to become unpleasant.

"LIKE I'M LISTENING TO SOME UGLY OLD BIDDY LIKE YOU!!"

The boy shouted back which gave me a cold sweat as I watched the old woman's face turn raging red in anger, I could nearly see steam flowing from her face.

"WHY YOU LITTLE INSOLENT -!"

She raised her hand ready to strike in angered retaliation which I fortunately was able to stop at the last minute when she realized I was there.

The boy was still growling uncaring of what was happening around him whilst the old woman gazed at me with surprised wide eyes, mouth agape as she bowed.

I gave her an awkward smile.

"Is something the matter?"

I asked holding a sigh that was deep in my chest.

" This boy, my lady! He's causing more trouble than help! He injured two other servants!"

The old woman replied whilst groaning to herself, looking at the boy who pulled out his tongue which made her even more furious but she kept it in.

"I see....You may take your leave..."

I told her unable to shake the atmosphere as she left with a nod. I stared at the boy who was left silently.

"What happened here?"

I said, I didn't even try to keep my exasperation unobvious to anyone who sees us.

"Why do I have to take orders from you!?"

He yells as I squinted my face feeling the force of his voice pushing me.

"We agreed last night. I hope you can bear with it."

I tell him as the breath I was holding released itself.

"They started it first!"

He yells throwing a luxurious porcelain plate at me that only missed me by a second passing through as I watched it at the corner of my eye swift and sharp.

A cold sweat ran through my body, feeling the shiver in my spine as I gazed at the heaving boy swaying from exhaustion.

I felt a hitched breath in my chest realizing that if he wasn't stumbling about right at that moment I could've died from the impact.

"You and all of those dog craps are all the same!"

He yells heaving like a panting lion at the sight of prey as I froze feeling as if the slightest movement would cause him to pounce and such my death.

I couldn't say a word as I watched that violently rabid glint in his eyes.

Even if I stood still, he ran towards me pushing me harshly against the shoji

I felt my head spin at the loud force against my head like thundering crash.

Why did I even bring this beast in?....

That was my only thought as my nerves began to shake, my body turning cold and at littlest sides of my sight I saw warm crimson trickling down my skin.

"Please calm down calm down..."

I try to whisper despite my body freezing like stone still and stiff unable to move.

...

(A few days ago....)

I watched him standing still, looking far into the farring plains without saying a single word as if his breath was stuck on his throat.

I saw him stay put despite the breeze for a few moments.

The cold wind touched my skin that shivered as the hairs rose like an electric drizzle through my nerves.

" Why are you standing there? It's cold. You best find shelter soon."

I told him. I really wanted to get inside not too far from now. I think my lips are getting pale from the cold.

"That....uh.."

He stammered. For some reason he couldn't seem to find the words out of his mouth. Mind frozen at the wide expanse before him.

I watched the boy's back that stood still against the cold breeze amongst the farring scenery of the plains that made him look almost small.

A memory plays vaguely and quickly like flashing again in my mind that still hadn't recovered from grief.

....

I saw the passing city lights just outside our home when my best friend arrived as she bickered with my grandfathet about the horrible homemade cake. It wasn't that bad.I couldn't care less really myself.

The table was full of food that it almost seemed small with how cramped it was.

There was grandpa's home made donburi that's steamy scent wafted in my nose along with Hamburg steak and curry that was beautifully scrumptious under the light.

I was drooling. Grandpa continued to bicker around with my best friend as I noticed those messy hands that gave all the effort to make my favorite foods. Even though he wasn't the best cook.

I found myself unable to hide the warmth in my chest that was swarming like a summers day I couldn't replace.

....

The memory ends and I found myself looking again at the plain fields that were only miles and miles of golden grain and rice.

Almost like an empty space the goes on on forever...

Suddenly, I felt my stomach growl feeling like a tiny little beast abandoned by its caretaker.

The memory of that warmth bore a deeper hike in my chest as if it was drilling into the depths of my soul where those memories lie.

In this place there was no food that grandpa painstakingly made...

There was no sweet tune that seemed as if there's a good thing in my mediocre existence..

There wasn't any warmth as if the campfire I held dear was blown away at raging storm in this wavy coast I sat....

I felt it embrace me in the most frigid yet empty embrace that it was almost suffocating than comforting...

I was alone here....

Despite my shaking gaze I found myself looking at the shaking boy just beside me whose eyes seemed to shivering to the core as if the heavens shocked his very soul in his eyes.

With the same fear and same shaky hands, my gazed was frozen on him. I only felt the trembling in my soul but he seemed as if the mirror before me.

Maybe it was stupid but at that moment if felt as if he was no rabid beast but someone just as lost as me...

"You...."

I managed to blurt out, still my gaze was frozen at his small shaking from across the sight.

His gaze didn't flinch as if he was drowning in an empty abyss. Lost in its depths.

"Do...you have nowhere to go?"

I found myself asking when the thought came to me.

Those words almost seemed to be like a shock to his frozen body as he looked to me who was behind him. He didn't say a word for a few moments with that face whose emotions I could hardly define.

We stood foolishly like that as his sorry state resonated as if time had stopped.

Then that silence broke apart when his knees collapsed against his will.

"No... I'll just go back to the village..."

He said with eyes that seemed as if he said something that felt as if his soul would be at turmoil.

I sighed. For the first time since I've met him he felt more a stupid lonely child that wanted to be strong than a rabid beast let alone the demon king that would torment this world.

He had nowhere to go...I was almost envious truly....we were both lost in this place yet he had a freedom I could only dream of...

He wasn't in this gold gilded cage I couldn't leave here in emptiness no matter how hard I try.

"Get inside. Your wounds would worsen if you exhaust yourself any further."

I tell him whose frozen state became alive in confusion.

"What?...I said that I'll just-..."

He says but the last thought seemed like something that could make him wretch.

"Whatever that is...you don't you want to go back there do you?...."

I told him plainly as I watched the conflicting turmoil in his face.

His eyes wavered whilst he bit down his lips unable to say a word, looking away to avoid my gaze.

He looked almost pitiful with that thin body that seemed as if a hungering street mutt and ragged clothes stained by those heavy wounds in an ugly splotch of crimson.

I almost hated the fact that this gold gilded cage of mine gave something atleast to be grateful for..

"I refuse to be a slave."

He says with an expression I can't read.

"You won't be slave. You'll be a servant. I don't know what happened in that village but this place should be atleast better than nowhere. There's shelter and I can't pay you much but there's atleast something to eat."

I reply as I opened the heavy red gate and turned my back.

With these thoughts I'm probably not in my right mind but here I was standing by the door waiting for him.

Even if I say these words it was his choice that was left...

Behind me I heard footsteps that were nearing,not long then I saw him beside me.

"Do you know how to do housework?"

I ask him as we began walking inside in atmost silence.

...

My eyes returned to the present.

I..... really wasn't in my right mind with those thoughts. Either way I don't know...

Somehow I got myself out of that tantrum of his and now he was across the room sweeping the floor in irritation at the corner of my bedroom.

Suddenly I heard heavy footsteps coming towards the room. The shoji doors then opened revealing a high ranked servant, an old woman embellished in a regally ornate designed kimono with her grey hair fixed neatly.

"This head servant greets, thirteenth lady, Kaoru-sama."

She greets formally in a bow despite her frigid robotic gaze that saw me with hidden spite I could only feel deep in my nerves.

I didn't recognize her at first but I glanced at that familiar raven insignia on her kimono and recognized her identity as my hand jolted in the approaching chaos.

"W-what brings you here, Madame Suzuki?"

I managed to blurt out despite the stiffness in my nerves.

Madame Suzuki was a head maid under Shiranui-sama, the mistress of the Sengoku clan, The head's main wife from dozens of concubines.

As the daughter of a lowly concubine, I was barely able to see Shiranui-sama let alone her most faithful servant Madame Suzuki but whatever it was.....

It wasn't begetting any good...I had that thought unable to hide the trapped air in my throat as I gulped.

Shiranui-sama wasn't in favor of any of otosama's concubines let alone their children. It's been a bad omen every time she comes to any of the detached residences where otosama's concubines and their children lived.

"I hope you have been well, Kaoru-sama. Your father has sent me to have you receive bridal lessons. He believes that what you sincerely lack in appearance can be meagerly replaced by some education, he hopes."

She says with a sarcastic smile that brought a tremble under my skin but I didn't dare say a word.

"I see...."

That was all I managed to say before her entourage ran havoc across my room.

Several footsteps could be heard in the space as they began taking and bringing out my things.

"What are your doing!?"

I yelled as everything I owned was thrown into the ground as if everything I had was worth nothing. My kimonos although not as intricate as a daughter from the main house were plain but lovely in its own way was thrown into the floor, some forever ruined ,trampled on.

I heard the clanging of metal as the jewelry from my tiny wooden box was left scattered on the floor.

My relationship with okaasama has always been frigid and cold but she gave me those jewelry herself. They were meant to please otosama but they atleast have me hope that she had the warmth I'd always long for. That some deep part of her cared...

It was all nothing. I knew that but it's never not painful to accept it. It was all I had in this pretty cage.

I gazed at the old woman who smiled despite the havoc she enacted on my room continuously and worsening.

"An assurance, my lady. An assurance that you succeed in your studies. Everything I deem to be given back will be given back if you behave and show a decorum befitting the concubine of an esteemed lord."

Madame Suzuki said with a cruel grin that almost didn't seem humane as I saw my reflection kneeling sorrowfully on the ground in her eyes glinting in glee.

She gracefully kneeled in front of me that eerie grin still on her face as she reached her hand towards me, carresing my face.

"Learn you place. Shiranui-sama was just giving you an important lesson. A first lesson for a concubine. "

Suzuki says tightening her grip on my chin until it hurt as I felt my haw tremble and as if the circulation was cut.

"You are worth nothing. Everything you own is nothing. Completely give yourself to your master or just slice a blade to your stomach in suicide."

The old woman whispers in my ear like a cold breeze that would freeze the brightest of grass, her mouth on my ear and face too close ose to mine for comfort.

Just as quickly as they appeared they went away leaving me alone in the nightmare that was my bedroom.

It was a complete mess as if a storm passes by. In an odd feeling, I began to laugh. I laughed so loud I felt like I was a bit crazy.

This was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. It was so petty and it didn't make sense yet here I was.

I was completely powerless against all this nonesense. The whole thing was so stupid but I had no clue what to do. It felt almost humiliating in itself to be unable to do anything against something so sobby stupid.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the shoji door. I found myself looking behind me at a maiden whose face I remembered to be one the ones who trampled on my kimonos.

"Madame Suzuki says that your lessons shall begin after your meal, Kaoru-sama."

She says with another blank smile as she formally placed a tray with a scent I was almost sick of and left.

On the wooden tray was a bowl of herbal soup that was mostly just stupid boiled leaves. I could see my reflection on the damned thing. It was even clearer than usual and beside it was a note.

'compliments from Lord Genji.'

It read. It made me wonder just how far things could go....how bad would it go until this already frigid state starts to break apart.

No less, I still ate. Here in this place... just what choice do I even have.

...

( Maiko pov)

I gazed around the sight of the festivities pouring tea for my half brother, Senjuro, a son from the main house. This engagement with my little sister was being celebrated as the men of my clan partake in drink in honor of that obese and currently very drunk lord, Genji-sama.

Ironically, my little sister wasn't even honored enough to be invited to her own engagement party. I bowed to Senjuro-sama when his cup was full and returned to my seat along with the other concubines of guests.

The tables were arranged in a way centering otosama and Genji-sama, the most honored guests in this celebration followed by my brothers then the lords and their heirs. Came after then where consorts and main wives and lastly was us concubines and our children and behind us were daughters of the Sengoku clan as well of the other lords.

Everything was arranged in strict order that was unable to stray. That how it was from the very beginning.

I gazed at the banquet the lords enjoyed compared to the meager meal the other concubines were eating. A meal that almost symbolized powerlessness.

"Cheers to the fruituous union of our clan and the lord of the Kanto region!"

Otosama yells drunkenly echoing across the wide room. The atmosphere was turning louder as the drunken chatter flooded the banquet.

I just hope it doesn't turn into a whole brawl when they start to completely lose themselves in alcohol just like last year.

"You must be Maiko-sama! You're a concubine of Lord Zen, are you not?"

I heard another concubine from the table just beside me. She seemed to be young. Quite young. I wonder what her intentions were under her nervous smile.

Hardly any good then...

"It is a lovely banquet isn't it, Sayuri-sama!"

I replied with the brightest smile I could, even though whatever intentions she had didn't seem to be any good.

It isn't anything new. This play of masks and strict principle as rigid as stone.

I wanted to escape from this construct when I was foolish and young. How wish that I didn't even have that vain hope then maybe it wouldn't have stung so hard.

.....

I watched across the fields as my older brothers trained. I was young and unable to join them but even though I could barely hear from the other side of the wall I couldn't pass, I listened fervently.

It was there I would listen to the art of jujutsu. The craft the Sengoku clan prides in despite its mediocrity compared to other clans such as the Zenin and Gojo clan.

No less was it renowned for its technique. Truthfully it was even older than the great clans. A thousand years ago it was the strongest jujutsu clan but not too long would they know that was because they were a big fish in a tiny crowd.

When jujutsu grew and the clans that were truly blessed in power arose, the Sengoku clan completely fell.

Even to this day, this egotistical clan still yearns almost begs to be under the great sorcerer clans almost desperate for it.

Unable to match them in technique, the Sengoku clan went for a different approach.

They began teaching jujutsu regardless if you were a member of the clan or not. Desperate to find talent that could raise the clan to its former glory they say.

When I was young under that notion,I thought I found a way to escape my fate when I was in despair that I was to be married off to a crooked elderly man.

I tried to hard. I refined my technique to my atmost perfection but it was worth nothing.

.....

My head returned to the present celebration before me as servant placed a tray of food on my table.

Unlike the meager meal, the other concubines had my tray looked a bit more appetizing. I can't say learning jujutsu didn't at least save me from some trifles. But it never freed me. I ate my food with a certain bitterness.

...

The festivities then ended and perhaps I was a little drunk and before I knew it I found myself in unfamiliar halls.

I stood there stupidly unsure what to do. I felt drowsy and tired. Even if it was just a few days, I hate this house. All it had was memories of crying alone in my room unable to escape the fate they trade my very life for.

I hated every corner of this damned place. I've hated my greedy brothers. I loathed my spiteful mother who wished I was a son just as much as she hated me.

I hated it all. There was nothing good in this house.

No...

I hated it all except...

"Maiko-onesama!?"

A familiar little voice went towards me as I found myself chuckling.

My eyes then found the sight of a little girl drowsily walking in her night robes.

An adorable little girl with doe eyes and a little form.

"Kaoru... good to see you little sister!"

I cheered ignoring just how lost in alcohol I was but that just ended up with me slipping on my own two feet and crashing to the floor.

"Oneesama! Are you alright? You're dead drunk!"

Kaoru says as ran towards me then kneeling at my side. I gazed at her adorable face that shone under the bare recesses of light.

"You've grown so much little sister....."

I ended up saying as I looked at her cute and confused expression.

I still remember the day Kaoru was born. When Okaasama learned she was with child she prayed and prayed to the kami that it would be a son. A son that could raise her status and gain otosama's attention again.

She celebrated for the months she carries Kaoru but completely abandoned the child when it was a daughter.

I was jealous when Okaasama celebrated being with child desperately convincing herself it was a son. But in the end I was the only one left at the side of the abandoned infant left behind by her mother.

Okaasama cried in dismay at the other room ignoring little Kaoru's hungry cries.

The infant's cries were painfully echoing across the room as Okaasama cursed at the newborn. The room sounded completely unpleasant and my ears started to hurt.

It was honestly when Okaasama collapsed from exhaustion that it was little more hushed but the infant continue to weep.

Despite the pain in my ears, I went towards the lonely crib curious to see what Okaasama called an ugly cursed thing.

Curious to see what monster could put Okaasama in that state.

But inside I saw no monster. But a weeping little thing all alone with those big doe eyes weary from tears completely abandoned.

I didn't know what to do but my pain felt like I could see myself in this thing. That was the day I met Lord Zen. The old man otosama married me off to for a few silvers.

I was still drowned in that despair then I found a tiny light in the child. No one bothered to understand the pain I felt in this place but here in that child abandoned just like I was, I found a reflection of myself.

Tears were still flowing from my eyes and my eyes were still swollen. Tears began to storm harsher with those thoughts and my heart began to fall into the despair.

But suddenly under that darkness was a tiny hand warm yet so weak and vulnerable carresing my face, wiping my tears.

The child stopped weeping and those big eyes looked deep into mine. Those tiny lips couldn't say a word to comfort me but in my hands the child sweetly rubbed her soft chubby face.

It was silent. It didn't give me what I thought I needed but it was the only comfort in my despair. At that moment the child seemed as if a tiny campfire to I who left stranded in the storm.

That day sealed my fate but was also the day something good was finally born in this house.

In that dark empty room in the storm, little Kaoru looked so small and vulnerable. I saw myself in her, a bird just like me abandoned and caged. It was then the frigid world seemed a little lighter.

I swore to protect the tiny light almost as if fearing I would shiver alone in the cold again.

.....

I looked at Kaoru who presently was worrying and unsure what to do in my drunken state.

How cute..

Even in this darkness she stood like a tiny light amidst my dark thoughts..

Yet at this moment she seemed disheveled and weary ..

" Kaoru....."

I felt a little sting in my heart to see her tear stained face.

I'm powerless... Kaoru...but I'll protect you with everything I have....

Perhaps that was the only worth I would willingly take in this world...