Beyond The Moon

I never realized this before…

What are my feelings towards her?...

Why do I feel like betraying someone…

Uguisu-senpai? no… not her…

Who…?

"Himeya" ???

"Himeya…!" ???

There was someone calling for me…

*Twips*

"Ouch ouch ouch… it hurts" I said as I woke up to the reality.

"Finally…" 

I look at her, she was smiling.

"Took you long enough to realize" She said.

"I was just thinking about something… So, what's the reason ya called me for, Touka?" I asked her.

"We have arrived" She said.

"Oh…"

"Hiro and the others are calling for you but you're just ignoring them and stay quiet, it's like you become a zombie Hahaha" Touka said as she laughed.

"…Ugh…Let's get out from the train" I said.

"Yeah, let's…" She said.

After getting out from the train, both of us were welcomed by Uguisu-senpai.

"There you are" She said.

"Sorry for sleeping without telling, senpai…" I said.

"Hehh, you called that sleeping?" Touka said.

"Shut it.." I said to Touka.

"Fhuhu. Well, I think everyone is already on their own home. So, let's go back to ours" Senpai said.

"Senpai, you can go ahead first. I have some business to talk with him" Touka said.

"Huh…?" I was surprised to hear her said that.

"Ah, alright then. I'm leaving now, see you both" Senpai said as she walks away from the station.

After seeing her off, Touka grabs my hand, and she starts walking.

"…Touka…?"

"Just shut up and follow me…"

I keep following her until we arrive at the seashore, not far from the station.

"Sit down" She said.

"Alright…"

She keeps quiet for a moment.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"I have something to ask you" She said.

"Uh…okay?"

"What do you think of Uguisu-senpai?"

'Uguisu? Since when they have gotten this close?'

"Um, she's a nice senpai...?" I said.

"Just that?" She said.

"Y-yeah… what's wrong with you today Touka?"

"…"

"Touka?"

"I… I want to spend more time with you" She said.

"…W-what?" I said.

"I said it already, I want to be with you more" She said.

…

"Alright, let's enjoy the scenery here…" I said.

"R-really?"

"Yeah" I said as I nod.

"Himeya…"

"What is it?"

"Thank you…"

…

"You're kinda strange today haha"

"You think so…? Uhm…yeah, I also think the same as you…" She said.

The sky was painted in warm hues of orange and pink, casting a serene and magical glow over the tranquil. Her figure was covered by them.

She looks at me and then smile.

"I'll think about it…" She said.

"About what?" I said.

"Asking for your feeling" She said.

….

Huh…

"What did you said?" 

"I think you're the right person…" She said.

"…."

"Himeya, I'm transferring" She said.

"…Huh? What do you mean by transferring?"

When I heard about her about to transfer to another school, a mix of sadness and anxiety washed over me. It leaves my heart heavy with the uncertainty of what the future hold for me, even though I knew the reason behind her 'transfer'.

"I will leave this place…and go far…far away…"

"…When will you leave?" I asked.

"In two days…" She said.

"Don't leave…" I said.

"It's impossible…I have to go" She said.

"Let's have a date then, tomorrow" I said.

"Huh? Why, suddenly?"

"It's hurt not to say goodbye, and make a beautiful memory with you"

"Himeya…"

"We can ask Hiro, senpai, and the others to go. It will be fun!" I said.

"No, just you… just Himeya" Her cheek glistened with falling tears.

"Then just me is fine…"

"…hic…hic…"

"Touka…" I grab her and hug her.

…. Touka's murmuring something, I can't hear her.

"…Touka…"

As Touka was crying, time seemed to skip ahead, leaving a palpable sense of sadness in the place.

"Let's go home… do you want to have dinner at my house?" I said.

"Yeah…" She said as she nod.

After that we both go to the school and ride my bike to my house. When we arrive, we were welcome by my mother.

"Welcome home, Himeya and… Touka-chan" My mother said.

"We're home…" I said.

"Forgive me for the intrusion" She said.

"Ara, don't be so formal with me okay Touka-chan" Mother said.

"…Mom"

"Fhuhu, sorry"

We entered the house.

"Ah, welcome Meyyaaa!" Haruka said.

"The souvenir, here it is" I said as I took out the souvenir.

"Uwahh a hairpin…thank you, my dear little brother!!" She said.

Touka was kinda a nervous at first, but after seeing how Haruka's act, she acts just like she's at home.

"Heh?"

"It's true that we really are brother and sister, right mom?" Haruka said as she looks at our mother.

"About that… actually…." 

"Hey, don't make a joke about that. And you still calling yourself our mother" Haruka said.

….

"By the way Himeya, I thought that Touka-chan will have dinner with us next week, why so sudden?" Mother asked me.

"Uh…that's…"

"I'm curious about you ma'am hehe" Touka said.

"Oh, my… what a nice girl we have here" Mother smiled at Touka.

"Beautiful…." Touka said, I don't know if she said that consciously or not.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, I…" Touka was flustered.

"It's okay… Touka-chan, please take care of our Himeya" Mother said.

"M-mom!" I was surprised to hear mother said that.

"What? She's beautiful don't you think?" 

"Uwah Himeya, that's rude ya know" Haruka said.

"I don't want someone with no partner to tell me that…" I said.

"…Himeya idiot Humph" Haruka said as she pouted.

"Fhuhu, Yeah, I'll take care of Himeya" Touka said as she smiles at me, that smiles… She was teasing me.

I don't know why but, her smiles…it was not natural for me.

"I'm in your care now" I said replying to her teasing.

"Wh-" Touka was surprised too hearing me said that.

"Fhuhu, what a couple we had now" Mother said.

"…Give me a rest will ya…" I said.

After the dinner, Touka talks more with my mother. I didn't know what they are talking about.

*Ring-Ring*

A notification from my phone was heard. I took out my phone and it was a message from myself from the future.

[How did it go?]

[Not that well]

[Promise me again, you'll save Touka]

[Just tell me the reason behind that]

[Don't ever give up on her, okay?]

[Why do I ever give up on her?]

[That's good to hear]

[You're not telling me the reason]

There was no answer from him after a while.

"Sorry for making you wait, let's go" Touka said.

Both of us went outside and ride my bikes. I escort Touka to her home, no… more like an apartment.

After we arrive.

"Thank you, once again you escort me and give me some of the beautiful memories" Touka said.

"I always be with you if you need me" I said.

"…Himeya…yeah. I know that" She said as she smiles.

"Well…I have to go now…don't forget tomorrow okay" I said.

"Yeah…See ya"

"See ya" I said as I drove my bike, I went home after that.

The next day, I woke up early and send some message to Touka.

[I'm on my way to the aquarium]

There was no answer but, the message has been read.

…

"Why isn't she answering…?"

"…."

I wait on the aquarium for almost 3 hours, and I text her again.

[I'm still waiting for you]

2, 3 and 4 hours has passed since then.

I accepted that it was fate that I would never see her again.

Touka will disappear right in front of me today…That's what I always thought.

It's not tomorrow, it's happening to me today. I want to go against it to the very limit. Even if it's a fate that can't be changed… Even after noon, Touka did not appear.

I know that Touka who read the message will not necessarily show up here. Still, I bet on the possibility of meeting her today. So, I decided to wait more. Believing that she will come… 

It was around 3pm now.

The last admission to the aquarium is at 4pm, even if she came now, she wouldn't be able to take her time to look inside.

The flow of people has changed, and now more people are leaving the building heading toward the entrance.

There's still no particular message from her.

I know what Touka's intentions are… but still, All I could do now was to trust her and wait.

"We regret to inform you that the aquarium will be closing in just 5 minutes. We hope you've had a fantastic time exploring the wonders of the underwater world today!" The sound of the announcer was heard.

"She's not coming…"

I guess it was no good after all…

Strangely, I'm not angry at her.

After this, I might never see her again, all I felt was pure loneliness. 

I walk from the Aquarium to the beach shore. I just sit down there.

"Cold…" I shivered.

It's cold probably because the sun is setting. I feel like the wind is getting stronger. I can see that the sand that has been lifted up from the beach is dancing in a slight swirl.

I knew that myself from the future said that I shouldn't give up on her… but, is it just his will or is it just my pathetic desire? Or maybe it's because I don't want to regret it.

"Regret huh…" I said.

If only I had realized it sooner. I wish I had been more kind to you. If only I were more worried. If only I just put my focused on you…

Time passes.

I started walking toward the parking lot where I parked my bike.

"That was the last time huh…"

I would never think that last night would be the last time I talk to her.

Still, there was no anger toward Touka…or maybe I just don't feel it yet.

"I wonder if I'll start crying someday…"

When I realized the fact that I would never see Touka again, maybe…

"Hmm?" Suddenly, I noticed a flickering light in the direction of Enoshima Benten Bridge.

It's not a car light or a boat light.

At first glance, the flickering is irregular, yet somehow calculated.

That was….

"…Morse code…?"

I walk to my bike and drive there.

"…." I was speechless.

"…"

When I came face to face with Touka who was standing on the bridge, I couldn't speak right away.

It was the same with Touka, who just looked awkward without saying anything.

"Why did you notice it…?" She said

"Of course, I'll notice it right away" I said. 

"I was thinking of not seeing you again" She said.

"I also thought I'd never see you again" I said.

"But you came after all"

"I saw you standing since this morning" She said.

"Huh?"

"I saw you standing at the aquarium entrance since 9 o'clock" She said.

"Then, why don't you call me?" I said.

"I told you didn't I. I wasn't planning on seeing you again." She said.

"But…I didn't think you actually be waiting all day…"

"I told you; I'll wait until you arrive" I said.

"That was dumb…really…doing something like that for me…" She said.

"Himeya is so stupid…that I feel so bad for you…that's why I ended up sending you a morse code" 

"I didn't really understand what it meant though" I said while giving her a light smile.

"How long are you going to wait, Idiot" She said.

"Eh… is that what it meant?" 

"I want to give you a sentence…but it was so hard that I just use one word, Idiot…"

"That's… it's just a bad word huh…" I said.

"I thought you wouldn't notice" She said.

"Still, I thought it was okay, so I sent it…"

"Why do you even notice it, Idiot?"

"You could say it was the power of love?" I said.

"That kind of line doesn't suit you" She said.

"Yeah, I was just saying what comes first into my mind"

"Pfft…Fhuhu…Fhuhuhu" She laugh.

"Haha…haha.." 

It's been a while since I saw Touka smile. It's been a while since we were able to laugh together. Even though it was just that, I couldn't help but be happy. 

Yeah… I thought I could say it now…

I felt like I could honestly express my feelings.

"Touka"

"Hmm...?"

"I like you" I said.

"…" She doesn't say anything but, her cheek is all red.

"I was actually thinking about it a lot more… how to say it so you'd understand how I feel… and I was trying to work out the words" I said.

"I was trying to make you feel emotional…make you cry… and make you…respond to my feelings" 

"But… when I saw your face, everything went away"

"So this is all I can say…" I said.

"I love you Touka"

"…" She lowered her gaze and didn't answer anything.

"…Say something will ya?" I said.

Suddenly, Touka look at me.

"My place… wanna come?"

"Eh…"

Both of us rides my bike and drove to her apartment.

"Come in" She said.

"S-sorry to bother you…" I said while coming into her apartment.

Touka's room is bare, with almost no smell of life. It seemed like there was only the bare essentials.

No, more than anything…

"…Weren't you supposed to move…?" I said.

From the state of the room, I don't think so.

"Hmm…?"

"Oh…that's a lie" She said with a smile.

She openly confessed it. I already know that it was a lie, but… I still didn't know how to react in this situation.

"…Why?" I said.

"I said it already, didn't I? I never intended to see you again" She said.

"I wasn't planning on going to school either…so I thought it would be a good idea to just tell you I was moving" She said.

"B-but, there's a chance that you'll meet the others again in town, right?" I said.

"There's no way anyone would care about me even if I met them" She said.

"That's why you didn't plan to make friends…huh" I said.

"Correct" She said.

"There's a reason behind that right?" I asked.

"Reason…Hmm... There's something I want to do" She said.

"Reason?"

"Rather than that, just sit down first" She said.

As I sat down directly on the floor, I suddenly felt eyes on me.

When I turned around, there was a large photo of a woman. That woman looks like…

"Oh, that's my mom" She said.

"She died last year" 

"…" She also says things that are difficult to react…

"Well, she was religious right up to the time of her death, and it was hard" Touka said.

"Oh, I never tell you this didn't I?"

"Y-yeah…"

"It just between you and me, there's a part of me that's glad she's dead"

...

"I'm joking fhuhu" She said with a laugh.

That was hard to react…

"Your father?"

"Hmm… I just have one parent" She said.

"So… you've been living here alone?"

"Yep"

"For the time being, my aunt is my guardian, but she's a very random person" She said.

"Well, thanks to her, I'm free to do what I want" 

"Is that so…"

"When my mother died and I didn't know where my father is, I honestly thought there was no point in living anymore" She said.

"Hey… don't say some dumb stuff like that" I said.

"Shouldn't I?"

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't say such a thing in front of someone who just confessed to you" I said.

"Ahaha, you got a point though" She said.

"But don't worry, because I don't plan to die yet!" She said with a smile.

"Yet… I'm saying that it's a big deal" I said.

"Ah, is that so? Well then, I have no intention of dying at the moment" She said.

"That's even worse…"

"Anyway, I have something to do!"

"That's why I can't die until I do that"

"Huh…"

"You want to know? You want to know what it is right?"

Touka says that with a mischievous smile on her face. It's like a child wanting to reveal a hidden treasure.

"Well, you can tell me"

"Sure, I'll tell you. If Himeya is interested I will tell you"

After saying that, Touka opened the closet and tried to take out something.

"There's someone I'm interested in"

"When I think about that person, I can't sleep at night" She said.

"…Is that so?"

I don't know why but, it feels like she was saying that on purpose to make me jealous.

Touka then pulled out a steel box that seemed to contain sweets.

She really shows me her treasure huh?

"Jajaaan" She said.

Touka opens the lid of the box. Then what came out of it…a cutouts?

Inside the box were old newspaper cutouts, photographs and maps.

It's like some sort of scraps.

The name "Kashima Masuoka" Was written inside the cutouts.

"This is the name of the person you're interested in?" I said.

"Yeah"

"…"

"He's a killer" She said with a smile.

...…

"Um…"

I already know where this is going.

"The things that you want to do…what is it?" I asked.

"Revenge"

"Revenge?"

"Hmm. Even though Himeya already knows"

"…Huh? …what did you say?"

Did she know about my reincarnation…?

"Revenge"

"To…whom?" I said.

"You already know the answer, right? This man" Touka said as she points the newspaper cutouts to me.

The photo shows a man who appears to be in his 30s or 40s. Next to it, the words "Kashima Masuoka arrested" were there.

"You know, I'm going to get revenge on this guy… I have to" She said.

"…"

"Because of this man, my family was destroyed…my life is destroyed" She said that, then the smile from her face is disappeared.

"Listen, Himeya… this is the turning point" She said.

"…"

"If you want to hear more about it, join me"

"Join you…?"

This is what me from the future try to tell me?

"If you have doubt in your heart, leave this room right now" 

"And…don't ever show your face around me, ever again…"

"Forget about my existence and go back to your normal daily life" She said.

"You can still do that now… but, if you join me…you can't go back like you used to be" 

"…." I was speechless.

"I'm not joking nor making fun of this. I want you to seriously think about it and then make a decision" She said.

"Right now, in this place"

"I…"

A turning point where I can't save my progress… That thought came to my mind. Should I join Touka or leave this place and forget about her existence…

…

It was an easy choice. 

"I already decided" I said.

The choice came to me.

There was no hesitate nor doubt in me.

I got up from the floor and walk to-

"…" Touka was surprised.

I sat down next to Touka and gently hugged her.

"Are you sure…?" She said.

Her voice is shaking right now.

"…Of course…"

"You really won't be able to go back you know" She said.

"I know"

"Are you really, really, really sure about that?" 

"That's what I meant by 'I know' ya know"

Touka's body was trembling slightly.

I hug Touka even tighter to suppress her trembling.

"Besides, I haven't heard your answer yet" I said.

"Eh…"

"It's impossible for me to leave you before hearing the reply ya know" I said.

"Himeya…"

"I love you, Touka"

"Hmm…Me…too…" She became even more trembling.

"I love you too… I also love Himeya…!" She said.

"Touka…"

Touka quietly closes her eyes.

I knew what she meant by that.

"…Nmm…"

I gently placed my lips on Touka's.

"....."

It's moist, somehow cold, and very soft.

That was the first time I felt when my lips was touching hers.

….

We parted out lips.

"…We kissed…" She said.

"…Yeah…"

"You didn't do that when we were on Kyoto" She said.

"That time…"

"Himeya, it's a bad thing to kiss if you're not dating ya know" She said.

"I know, I know" I said.

"That kiss isn't that a quite experience?" She said.

"Well, since I already confessed…it's safe and yeah… that's quite an experience" I said.

"Fhuhu…that's not fair" 

"And well, there's no way I can stop right there ya know" I said.

"Touka also think the same right?"

"Hmm…you may be right…"

"Fhuhu, Let's continue" She said.

"…"

I don't know what kind of face I'm making right now but, I'm pretty sure that I'm red as tomato right now.

"Kiss me more…?" She said.

Once again, I put my lips on her.

…

We kissed for a longer time than before.

"…More…" she said.

For a moment, Touka's body became tensed.

We pull away our lips.

"Ha…ha…ha…"

Touka's red face was right in front of me…

"Himeya…you're so naughty…" She said.

"Shouldn't you also say that to yourself?" I said.

"Hmm…I guess so?" 

"Well… in any case both of us are naughty…" I said.

"Hmm… If that so then, it's fine" She said.

I can't help but feel excited by how comfortable it is.

I caressed her tight waist, and then moved to her back, which was a little tense.

There was no sign of rejection. Eventually… Touka puts her hand on my chest.

"Himeya…"

"Touka…"

"I want you to hug me tigher" She said.

…

"I want you to hold me tigher…" 

"Is that okay…?" I said.

"If it's Himeya, it's fine…" She said.

She took off her hoodie and climbed onto the bed and lay down on her back.

"Then… I'll leave it to you…" She said as she hugs me.

"Then…"

"…Come, Himeya…"

I climbed onto the bed as if being guided by her.

The night ended with a profound sense of tranquillity washed over us. It's essence intricately intertwined with the soft, silvery light of the moon.