111 Goodbye for now

Hey guys

Um..if it hasn't been obvious by the fact that I haven't updated for the past two years, this fic is dropped.

If that's all your here for then there it is, I'm sorry I was a pussy about taking so long to come out and say it, but that's the short of it.

I'm sorry and wish you all the best.

That's the short version, however if you would perhaps indulge me one last time I would like to give a bit of a longer tale about how this whole situation started in the first place.

First and foremost I want to apologize to all of you for that, going into writing this thing, my big goal was to just get it done after seeing how many fics on this site never end up reaching that goal post and how much it pissed me off as a reader but life had other plans.

Truth be told, the main reason why I wrote was because I didn't really have anything else to do - I was fine enough at school but was mentally in a shitty place and had basically no friends.

As time progressed I happened to get lucky, meeting some really good people and eventually I started actually hanging out with them and I began to realize how I kind of fell out of love with writing.

I realized that while there were parts of it that I still loved - the main reason that ended up keeping me going was not to disappoint my readers, there were some who would comment so often and who I would always joke around with that I would have considered nearly friends of a sort.

However, the fact remained that I just wasn't the same person as I was when I started writing the fic, and my love for the medium and vision for the story had changed entirely.

There was no straw that broke the camels back so much as there was just a moment when I was in the middle of writing a chapter when I realized I could be hanging out with my friends instead of writing this fic.

So I did.

I always flirted with the idea of coming back, yet never fully brought myself to do it, both out of shame of dropping and out of fear that I would do the same thing again.

And so there we were - stuck in a cycle where I wouldn't officially announce I dropped the book nor would I actually work on it, for a full 2 years.

So, this all begs the question, what changed, and why the fuck am I speaking out now of all times.

The answer is that something broke this cycle I spoke of above.

The account that is writing this fic is controlled by an email that belongs to my school and now that I have graduated, the account will be terminated, and so, this account will be gone with it.

I have tried to change the email the account is attached to but to no Evail as the confirmation link just won't send. The fic and all of the comments and the like will remain, but the account behind it will never be able to post or interact again

I feel as if nothing else, you guys do truly deserve at least a definite conclusion, rather than being left wondering (as if it occupies any significant space in any bodies brain)

So goodbye…for now.

I truly want to say sorry, for leaving you all and dropping, truth be told I would do it again, as ultimately the last couple of years have been some of the happiest in my life, yet still- I made a promise and I broke it, and In those years before things were truly "better" for me, some of your comments truly did make my day better.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Truly. I can't fully express just how much you all have changed my life for the better, and how much the process of writing this fic made me feel like somebody who was actually worth something and had people who cared about something I was creating.

This account will forever be closed due to eventually being signed out and never being able to reactivate.

However, I do have a few alts on this site. I feel the need to clarify before I get anybody's hopes up. I DO NOT PLAN ON POSTING ANYTIME SOON. Furthermore, if I did post, it wouldn't be a continuation of this but rather, something completely new or at bare minimum a reboot.

With all that being said, I am also on this site as @ISTILLWANTMYDINNER (original, I know)

Once again thank you all so much for giving me the gift of being able to be an incredibly small part of some of your lives at any point over the past few years, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to truly be deserving of that gift.

I truly love you all, and thank you all so much for truly making my life that much better and listening to perhaps my final rant.

Yours truly,

IWANTMYDINNER