seeking psychiatric help

('this is for allen', "this is for Victor", from now on)

[BRRRRRRR R R R R]

The bell rang, signalling the end of the final class. It was time to head home, and Allen was mentally exhausted. But he wasn't going to go home just yet. He left the class, leaving some students still glaring at him and whispering from time to time. He hastily speed-walked for his bike.

"where are you going? This isn't the way to your house." Victor exclaimed.

'hospital.'

"Huh? Why?" Victor was confused.

'I'm going to a psychiatric hospital to get rid of you.' Allen said with a poker face. For the next 40 seconds, all he could hear was Victor's egotistic, almost malliable laugh. Allen didn't know whether his laugh was sarcastic or not, he genuinely seemed like he couldn't stop.

Victor finally stopped laughing. "you're just too funny. You think an imaginary friend can make your dick hard on command?" he said while getting so hard and erect, he almost tore Allen's pants.

'fucking stop! Get down! People are looking!' Allen began tearing up again, maybe from embarrassment, maybe from the pain of his large penis pushing against his trousers.

"Could you stop crying at the smallest inconvenience? I don't know why you would be embarrassed anyway," Allen began.

"you have an 11 inch monster cock, and you don't want to show that off?"

"...well, not that it's of any use to you anyway."

Victor said while going limp, feeling empathetic for the poor boy.

"you have 0 bitches,"

'ouch.'

"0 drip,"

'stop.'

"Your legs have more hair than a gorilla has in its entire body,"

'ugh.'

"you're a porn addict,"

'....'

"and you have nonexistent social skills." he exclaimed.

".. I'll stop there, as I can see you're tearing up as usual." said Victor, as he saw Allen foolishly passing the hospital.

'Go fuck yourself, asshole. Wait, how can you even see me? You're inside my pants.'

"Don't know, I just can. You know what else I saw?"

'hm?'

"sum chicks staring at you weird while you were busy awkwardly presenting with a foot long boner. Well, at me, really."

'really? who?'

"It was one of the girls in your group. Not the one that looked at you like roadkill on a pavement."

'Anya?!'

"by the way, you passed the psychiatric hospital 3 minutes ago."

'what?! Why didn't you say anything!?' Allen said, while making a U turn.

"don't know, why do you fap to Loli infl-"

'WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT ALREADY!' Allen screamed, as he started to speed up.

They soon reached the hospital, and Allen handed a chubby nurse at the counter his ID.

'Do you have any schizophrenia medication?'

"yes. I'm sorry, you have to be at least 18 years old and diagnosed with schizophrenia to get this medication. You can cosign with a guardian if you wish." said the lady, who looked dead inside.

'what? how do I get diagnosed with something only I can see? Do I just tell you I have it?'

"you'll have to get an appointment with one of our psychologists." said the nurse, visibly annoyed. She's been in this shift for 7 hours.

"luckily, one is available right now. Please come this way."

Allen followed the chubby lady into a room on the second floor. He came out about 40 seconds later. The chubby lady hadn't even reached the first floor before he caught up to her.

'what the hell? I just told him I hear a voice and he gave me a paper. Is a phsychologist's job really that easy?' he thought. Victor was quiet for some reason. It could be because his father was a phsychologist.

"I wonder how my family's doing." he thought to himself, as Allen was handing the paper to the depressed chubby lady.

"well, you're still underage, so I can't give you this." she said in a monotone voice.

"I'm his guardian." said a voice behind Allen, in a Russian accent. Maybe a little too close behind him. He turned around, only to see this big burly looking fellow. The 6'5 man looked like he hadn't slept in 2 weeks, with an untamed beard.

Allen turned back towards the nurse. 'Yeah.. that's uhh.. my uncle. Yeah, he's my uncle. I'm an orphan.'

The chubby nurse knew that the man was actually a patient in the hospital, and ex-convict who was here to get help for his addiction to child pornogaphy. But she was far too underpaid and overworked, she really didn't care much.

"...okay, sign here please."

The burly man's signature was as burly as himself.

"here's your medication, kid." she went back to looking at twitter on her broken iPhone 6.

'thanksu. FUCK.' Due to his crippling lack of social skills, he fucked up a thank you by mixing thanks with thank you. After that interaction, he quickly headed for the exit. Before Victor could even start laughing at him, they heard the burly man's burly voice again.

"Aren't you going to thanksu me too?" he sounded like a weeb trying to sound like he had a Japanese accent. Every single person in the room, even Victor, cringed to their core at his sentence.

'Uh.. yeah, thanks.' Allen hastily left the building. As he was unlocking his bike from a pole, he felt something touch his.. Left butt-cheek. He turned around. It's the burly Russian man. It occurred to both Allen and Victor, in that moment, what the man wanted.

"RUN! HE WANTS YOUR ASS!" Victor shouted, but Allen didn't budge. Not because he was frozen in shock, but because the man was still holding his buttcheek like it was his lifeline.

"you're not going anywhere."

'...' Allen was now actually frozen in shock. He could almost not feel the man taking his(Allen's) pants down.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" the man jumped back at the sight of Victor, Allen's penis. He was frozen for a moment. A moment was all Victor needed to remind Allen of how urgent the situation is.

He kicked the Russian man's nuts with full force, and went for his bike. He rode like his sanctity depended on it, because it did. Allen could hear the Russian man's wails as he rode off.

"VICTOR SAVES THE DAY!" Victor was ecstatic at his achievement, though he hadn't lifted a finger.

Allen was awfully quiet throughout the ride home, despite Victor constantly trying to get him to say something.

As soon as he got home, ignoring his mother asking why he's so late, he pulled the pills out of his bag, and swallowed 3 at once.

"hey, what the fuck! I thought we were cool after what just happened!" Victor was unhappy with Allen's decision, but he was not worried.

'you're just in my head. Shut up.' he was convinced. The bottle says it takes effect after 5 minutes, and thus Allen waited, ignoring Victor's deafening bickering.

After a few minutes, it was quiet. The voice stopped, Allen was almost surprised that the pills worked. And he was now alone again.

'.. After all that shit, I need a good wank." he opened his laptop.