20 Sorry (17)
Uhuk! Uhuk! Uhuk!
My mouth roared in pain as it released coughs after coughs.
The sun's light shone through my window, unblocked. The sound of chirping birds could be clearly heard, coming below from Yohan's garden. While the sunlight gave me the clue of morning, it was the sound of the avians that fortified my thesis on it. It was strangely peaceful today, and the last couple of years, on the surface at least.
It was strange, surreal even, such a great morning light. I never realized how I always missed this early morning feeling due to how often I locked myself in my study, locked myself from my courtiers, from the guards, the councilors and from Falah, oh my love, Falah.
Her gentle touch and caring smile always had me for a long time. She challenged her entire family just for us to be together, and what did I give to her in return? Nothing. We barely stayed together right after I received Calenon. I wondered if she still loved me the way she did all those years ago. Even now, I coldly dismissed her.
She was panicking when my legs failed me about 6 years ago. Her eyes, which were bright and full of happiness, were shattered because of me, oh how I regret it. How I regret most things I have done in my life.
It was true, what father had said all those years ago.
We do grief when there's little left to live.
My whole entire body shivered in coldness. It was sunny outside, warm, summer, yet I'm freezing. A full blanket on top of me did little to shield me from it. The only part of me that was exposed was my head, and my arms.
Slipping the pair of limbs was something nigh impossible for me to do. I barely had any strength left to lift it, and yet I wanted more than just that. My tears came out due to the amount of stress I put on my nonexistent muscles.
They had gradually diminished over the years. my eyes weakly rolled down to look at them, there were no fat, no muscles, only bones and the surrounding nerves. How did it come to this?
My mind was suddenly invaded by a hailstorm of new thoughts. Each of them had one thing in common.
Her.
She is the source of my headache, and the pain that came to me as a demon disguised as my daughter. Her entire demeanor and presence was enough to make me vomit and clench my stomach. Her childlike body couldn't hide the inferior organs she had inside of it. Her stoic face couldn't hide the fact that she was at her core, weak and frail.
Uhuk! Uhuk! Uhuk!
Another coughing, this time, my neck cried under the voice.
Oh…how did it come to this?
Suddenly, the door swung open due to a gentle push. I couldn't turn my head to see who it was, such an action could lead to me struggling for life.
Was it Runford? No…his steps were heavy, this one…this one didn't even make a sound.
When I tried to look at the figure, I couldn't. It was simply not possible for me to look at whoever it was, when I tried to glance at their general direction, my eyes suddenly went hay-wire, blinded, yet I could still see. My body however, reacted differently, before, it craved for any source to heat, but not anymore, whoever it was, my body was being treated by it.
Suddenly, the spell was unlocked, I could feel my eyes free from its grasp, as it sat down right by my bedridden body. And when I finally saw the mysterious figure, my heart, which was calm just a moment ago, started thumping faster. My eyes went wide as my breathing began to lose control.
Elissa?
No…this is not her. Her face might have been similar to Elissa, but hers looked a lot more mature. It looked like what Elissa's face would become after she became an adult. She sat down, legs rested tight from each other, hands in front of her stomach, stacking against one another. Then, she looked at me, with a weak smile.
[It has been a while, young Elizar]
Her mouth didn't move, she spoke directly to my mind. Her eyes weren't the brightest, it looked like she had just awoken from a sleep. Her jumbled platinum hair had supported my claim to it. Still, her expression towards me was of regality, of someone that wanted absolute loyalty and obedience from someone. That made me shiver, as much as my body allowed me to anyway.
For one second, my mind went blank, empty, didn't know what to process. Somewhere inside me, I knew who she was, and what kind of power she had. Her face broke down to one that was mischievous, a grin too?
[What?] She asked me in a mocking tone. [Surprised to see me visiting you?]
Yeah…, I thought you tricked me…
16 years ago, I was a desperate man. I was worried that my legacy would end with my death. Family was never something I cared about. All I care about was to enjoy the peaceful times I had helped to create after my deeds, and live my life to the fullest. But I couldn't just let Falah cry almost every single day, because of her circumstances.
Each time I woke up beside her, I always heard a faint wept. Her face was never bright ever since she knew about it. At first, I thought we could just adopt one of our nephews, or nieces; they were present in Searis and Calren, and they could help with attending the fiefs of Calenon. But, none of them had the magic capability to continue my work, to continue studying the arcane arts. And it was at that point where
I realized how important it was to have a child.
After countless years of pursuing research, I was left with nothing. None, not from Alaria, not from the dwarves, the trolls, the centaurs, not even the ancient demons had any method of curing Falah's inability. And so, I summoned her for guidance.
[And I did guide you, my favorite mage]
She tricked me to summon an unworthy heir, someone who wasn't magically talented. A brute brained idiot bearing resemblance to one of my brothers.
[And yet, you still believe in her, correct?]
….
[I know you do]
….
[The fact that you still haven't proclaim Runford as your heir, makes it painfully obvious, my dear subject]
….
[Do not block your thoughts, I hate it when you do that]
Yes… a small part of me still believed she had a chance. Falah believed in her, that alone was the only thing that made her worthy in my eyes.
[Then you should love your daughter too, doesn't she resemble you so much? Her speech, demeanor, not just that, both of you even make the same expression when hiding something]
If you wanted me to love her, then you should've granted me my wish! I asked for an heir far more powerful than any mage! And what did you give me? A cripple! Someone who is not talented in magic at all. I sacrificed my entire life for her, and that is how you repay me?!
Her face frowned, then it worsened to full scowl. My weak body wasn't able to block her menacing aura. It was a miracle she wanted to keep me alive this long. If it weren't for her, I would've died at this very moment.
I screamed internally, as she stood up from her chair and, with a simple gesture of her hand, rose my body from the bed.
The pain….oh…the pain…
It felt like my body was moving on its own, only stopping in front of an angry goddess face.
[ELIZAR SIL ELIZARON, CHOSEN GREAT MAGE OF THE ALLIANCE]
Her voice ringed like thunder inside my ears, quickly overwhelming me to the point of becoming senile.
[HOW DARE YOU INSULTED MY AVATAR]
An Avatar? Impossible….
[DID YOU THINK BECAUSE SOMEONE IS NOT ADEPT IN MAGIC, THEN THEY CAN NOT BE DESTINED FOR GREATNESS? OH HOW I DISASTROUSLY OVERS ESTIMATE YOUR INTELLIGENCE]
At this point, her aura was menacing enough to the point of me seeing her true form. An object too exotic for me to even comprehend. The sight alone left all of senses deft, and blind.
[WHAT I HAD GIVEN TO YOU, IN FORM OF THAT CHILD WOULD BE THIS WORLD'S CHOSEN GUARDIAN, AND HERE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT HER AS IF YOU HAD PICKED UP A BAD QUALITY HERB]
Please…. forgive me…
[I PROMISED TO YOU SOMEONE WHO IS ABLE TO SURPASS EVEN THE GREATEST MAGE WHILE NOT BEING A MAGE HERSELF AND YOU THINK OF THAT AS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS?!]
My soul was on the verge of being torn away from my body. I screech internally as the pain of souls being ripped apart was far greater than any physical or magical damage I had experienced my entire life.
She finally calmed herself down. She limp back to her chair, exhausted.
"I had spent every single bit of my power to summon such an avatar because I had foreseen a terrible catastrophe in the future. I've only woken up yesterday and learned about your mistreatment of her not a moment sooner."
She spoke to me with her mouth now. Her voice, it was an older version than that of Elissa.
"I am very disappointed in you, Elizar sil Elizaron"
I closed my eyes for a moment. Thinking back, I noticed how I treated my one and only daughter. She came to this world because of me, innocent , pure and I hurt her for it. Is that why Falah never bothered to sleep in the castle anymore? Because she noticed how I reacted to her love of life? Is that why she secluded herself in her own palace? Was that why she was estranged from me?
Thinking back, my treatment of my own daughter was no different than how my father used to treat me. He used every brutal method he could, blocking my access from inheritance, trying to divide my brothers behind my back. Wasn't that the reason I left? Because I hate him so much? And yet, I became the person I always hated.
[It is time to go, Elizar. Your deeds for the entire Alliance of Gods are not forgotten, you deserve a place in Elysium, and yet, you carried a heavy sin with you there]
In a flick of her finger, I could feel my consciousness slipping away from me. It wasn't pain I felt, it was nothing, as if you had fallen into a deep sleep. My muscles were in the process of shutting down, the chirping birds could no longer be heard. When it was time to close my eyes, I noticed Serena had disappeared, and another figure had entered my room.
Was it her? Was it Elissa?! I couldn't see, it was blurry. And yet, despite that, if it was her then I wanted to say my final words.
"Elissa….-
I am sorry
