ZEN [12]

Regressor's Instruction Manual Episode 933

Zen (12)

"Are you alright?Lee Kiyoung-nim. Lee Kiyoung-nim..."

'How could I possibly be alright?'

"Just a moment... Please wait a moment."

'If you were like me, would you be alright? And what are you waiting for? If you wait, what are you going to do? Should I perhaps give you some treatment?'

"Damn It... Why..."

'What's "why" about it? This was already a preordained fate-like story. The ending of this fairy tale wasn't a happy ending, it was a bad ending. Did you really think such a dream-like story would unfold?'

Even with a weak and feeble body, the Honorary Cardinal. This misfortune that has befallen him was already a predetermined story.

Though he lived as usual... wouldn't he not be entirely unaffected? Even his frail body was in a worse state after the Resurrection Day, and his condition deteriorated further to the point that even daily life became challenging.

He was merely pretending to be okay. The Honorary Cardinal of the nation, the Saint of the continent, was individual like that.

He was someone who disliked others worrying about him.

He was someone who didn't want anyone to be hurt because of him. He wished for the continent not to be harmed, and he wished for those around him not to be harmed.

More than anything, he wished that Zen in front of him wouldn't be suffering because of him.

With a body like that, the Honorary Cardinal wanted to find freedom. Despite knowing that his body couldn't endure... he wanted to capture the beauty of the continent with his own eyes, even though he knew his body wouldn't hold up... perhaps that's why he held Zen's hand.

But for a Saint of Light like this...

'You fed me stinky food'

"Damn it...Damn it!"

'Then you crammed me into this damp space of about 5 square feet'

"I didn't know anything..."

'Yeah, you didn't know a single thing.'

"What on earth did I do..."

'If I make tears come from my eyes, bloody tears will come from your eyes.'

The body of the Honorary Cardinal was in an extreme state like a leaf that could fall at any moment.

Sun Hee-young of the Blue Guild, Elena, and the priests of the nation were taking care of the Saint of Light, who could collapse at any time.

Things like ham beer meat or stinky tofu were practically poison. He spent a long time peeling off leather, carrying the heavy leather on rainy days, and traveling for a long time.

It's strange that nothing hurts. Even the smallest things could be extremely harmful.

Plus, he stayed up until night. And yet, even though he was a pitiful noble, he stayed up all night with the intention of giving him a warm meal, so the food wouldn't get cold.

Even an average person would be bedridden when ill. What about the delicate Saint of Light?

What could he do? He endured until his limits, but he couldn't endure any longer.

"Why did my divine power..."

It's not an issue of divine power. And you're not a priest either.

It seems you think having divine power means having healing abilities like Sun Hee-young or Elena.

"....."

"Haah... Haah..."

He was limited in what he could choose. No, there was nothing he could do.

It might be best to return to the Holy See. Or so it might seem, as he seemed to be biting his lips tightly.

At this very moment, running through the pouring rain that felt like a waterfall, he held the Saint of Light, and he was running around frantically.

It's like an extreme situation that could fit into a scene from a drama, and it's a timing that wouldn't be odd even if sad music were to play. No, it feels like I can already hear it.

'Where should I go?'

This guy probably doesn't know.

He probably doesn't know where he's going, where he should go. He's lost.

"Zen-nim..."

Whispering is only natural.

The surprised fellow immediately continues speaking.

"Are....Are you awake?"

"Yes... Zen...."

"Please bear with it a little longer. If you wait a moment, rest and wake up... everything will be over."

"Are we heading to the..... to the Republic?"

"..."

"Right now, are we finally going to the Republic we've been waiting for?"

"....."

"Now... can we start a new life? Attain a new status... and start anew...?"

"...."

"Can we look at different skies every day...?"

I almost shed tears because I was concentrating so much. My emotional line is deeply intense.

"You can directly go to the places Zen mentioned. Truly... start a new life..."

The guy doesn't say anything. I don't know what he's thinking...but perhaps he's prioritizing the direction of submission.

The Saint of Light's condition seems critical. He might feel that without that method, the current state can't be resolved.

"...."

"Yes... on our way... to the Republic..."

"That, that's right."

A well-intentioned lie.

A lie that seems to pierce through even gold.

"Now, if you just hold on a little longer... you will soon be able to enjoy the life you desire."

"...."

The place you're running to isn't the Republic. Why are you running in the opposite direction and saying that?

"Just a little... if you wait a bit more... you can soon... enjoy the life you desire."

His voice trembles. It feels like he's holding back tears by force.

"You will be able to enjoy the life you desire, the free life, to your heart's content."

"...."

"New skies, new experiences... you will be able to see new things... Travel around and constantly meet new people. You will do things you want to help many people and enjoy life like that. Without pain, you won't experience such painful things anymore. Laugh every day..."

"Lies...."

"...."

"Haah... Haah... Lies..."

Where are you trying to deceive the Saint of Light? This guy.

"You're lying right now..."

You thought I didn't know you were trying to submit yourself?

"you... know that"

"...."

"When Zen... Haah... every time you lie, your voice trembles a bit. You look anxious too... I can't see you now, but... you definitely... definitely look uneasy. Your tone rises a bit too... it's all revealed through your actions."

"...."

"A kind person."

Criminal scum.

"...."

"A warm person."

This nauseating guy.

"I... collapsed... Did I collapse again?"

My mind is hazy. I can't properly distinguish my current state, so lost in confusion.

It feels like my head has turned into a burning ember. My insides are churning, and my eyes are painfully throbbing.

The sensation that my whole body is dying. Could it be like this? As if entering a dream, the Saint of Light continues to speak.

My mind isn't clear, but what I want is certain. Nothing else matters. I can't see anything else with my eyes.

"Please... take me to the Republic..."

"...."

"I want to go to the Republic. Go there... and have new adventures with Zen..."

"I'm sorry, Lee Kiyoung."

"Don't go back to the Holy See, please."

"I... I'm sorry."

"Please... I beg you. I dislike the Holy Land. Now... not anymore..."

"I'm sorry, Lee Kiyoung. I..."

"I won't be happy... I won't be."

"...."

"Even if I go back, even if I can walk properly again, I won't be happy. I'll surely... be unhappy. If I go back like this, I'll end up resenting Zen."

"...."

"Even if I wake up in the hospital bed again, I'll surely... regret it. I'd rather... end it like this. Even if I die, even if my end gets a bit closer, a bit more human, a bit more free... I want to close my eyes while doing what I want."

An abrupt setting of a deadline.

But beneath this waterfall of emotions, there's no discomfort.

Consistency isn't an issue either.

The words I utter are true.

"You can definitely do it. It's just... right now is not the time."

"..."

"No. There won't.... be another chance.... For sure."

"Haah... Haah..."

"...."

"Don't go back....It's my final request."

He tightly closes his eyes. As if refusing to acknowledge it, he hides his face with one arm.

Is it because of the pouring rain? Or is it because of tears that come out without me noticing?

The sound of his sobbing is buried in the rain, just a bit faster than the sound of his steps as he ran recklessly.

Why was this adult born with such a fate? Why can't the Saint of Light enjoy the things he rightfully deserves?

Why is the world so cruel only to him? Why does Benigore inflict such harsh trials on this saint?

"Benigore..."

A voice is heard. It's not a voice spat out for Benigore's sake; it sounds more like a voice of resentment and cursing towards her.

"Don't resent Him."

"...."

"It's not His fault."

Struggling with my body that's hard to move, I awkwardly hand the rosary to the guy.

Is it because he realized the fact that he doesn't have the rosary around his neck? Startled, he trembles for a moment, but then tightly grips the rosary.

"But at least... I want to live while doing the things I want... at the very end."

"...."

"Want to capture all the skies of the continent... in my eyes."

"..."

"With Zen... I want to enjoy adventures."

He stops abruptly.

"Ugh... at least..."

He stops moving like a stone statue.

"Even for a moment... I want to live while doing ordinary things."

"Certainly..."

I shed tears to an extent where it's surprising. My immersion is at a level that can astonish.

"Ugh... Ugh... in the end..."

There's no way forward anymore. The words I couldn't say to anyone, the voice the Saint of Light couldn't express all this time, how could I abruptly head to the Holy See?

Even though I can't see his face, his torment is transmitted. Not knowing what to do, he's agonizing and accepting conflicts of various values, and so on.

"Never again... do I want to go back into the cage..."

Of course, I want to go back into the cage quickly. Even for just one day, I want to quickly enter the comfortable, warm cage, start the day with a cup of coffee, and end it with a glass of wine.

I want to enjoy a cold drink while taking a half-body bath. But the thought arises that I want to squeeze a bit more juice from this guy's eyes.

I want to see him in agony, in pain, and I want to see him hesitating between these choices. It's refreshing to see that inner conflict.

There's no need to hurry back right now... maybe I can stay a bit longer, like three days or so.

"Please... please, I'm begging you."

- Commander. [Or General I don't know.]

-.....

- Come save me.

-....

- We're heading towards the Republic now, I heard about a new project. If you help this time, I'll allocate a bigger budget for you.

-.....

- Bring a lot of troops too. It's quite a risky situation. I've been kidnapped now, you know? I'm in a really tough condition.

-.....

- I'll be waiting. Got it? Just so you know, this isn't a favor. It's connected to the Commander's project. Do your best with dedication. Understand?

Seeing this guy in such agony, it felt like my sense of justice would be satisfied.

- Damn it. Lee Kiyoung, you bastard. Damn it! Damn it!!! Damn it!!!! You nauseating piece of shit!!

-----

LOL.

But really, I really think that Lee Kiyoung is starting to care for Templar Zen.