0 days without tears

Some things change your life irreversibly. No matter how you try, you can't go back to how things were before. Before the thing.

The funny thing is... others notice, but they don't understand. "Why are you still worried about that?" and "Just move on". Of course, they mean no harm... yet they still hurt. Their words hurt, their looks hurt, their touch hurts. And that's why it's lonely... lonely to live in the world of "After".

Jon never thought of these things before. There was nothing that could shake him. He was bright, harsh, innocent. He was just like any other guy in his class.

He would play games, study and fight. And he would fear, lie and tease. He would do million little things with his friends, not caring for anything else.

On the graduation day, after sharing tears and farewells with his friends, he went home. On the way, when he was passing through an alleyway, he heard a loud-

"CRASH"

"Ahahaha! I knew you had it in you!"

"CRACK"

"I knew you were a-"

When Jon looked at what happaned...

"BAM"

He saw his classmate...

"BAM"

...with blood on his hands...

"BAM!"

...beating someone to death.

Breathless, motionless body lied underneath the assaulter. Its eyes, so clear, were staring directly at Jon. They were smiling.

Jon didn't scream.

...

The culprit, Sakamoto Ryuu, got arrested.

The victim, ████ Rei, was forgotten by most.

The witness, Jon Evryman, never quite moved on.

...

Death comes for everyone. And when She does, people usually see their life flash before their eyes. Jon saw only someone else's dead eyes.

Struggling for air, drowning on his birthday... And his old friends, who had been desperate to make Jon finally live at fullest again, were oblivious to their friend dying not even 10 meters away.

"How funny," said the dead eyes.

And then the curtains fell. Everything turned black.

...

Everything hurt.

It was so painful.

Why was he in pain?

Dead shouldn't feel pain, right? Then why was he hurting?

Is existence nothing but agony?

Please, stop this.

Please.

Please!

And then the curtains opened once more.

...

It was bright.

Jon jolted awake, catching his breath.

"What just happened?"

The memory of his tragic death was still fresh in his mind. The birthday, the beach, his friends-

Oh, no...

His school friends never left his side since the Thing. Even after he shut himself off, they still found ways to reach out to him. That day was supposed to be their reunion and a way to cheer on Jon.

"I'm so sorry," and tears fell. Not for himself, but for those who had to live after his death.

"I didn't want to die, I'm sorry," it was an accident, as many things are.

"I really wanted to be with you guys, I'm sorry..." sorry for not saying anything, sorry for leaving, sorry for not answering.

"Sorry for not eating the melons with you..." his favorite. They had been preparing this party for weeks. These idiots weren't subtle about it at all...

He smiled, slightly, at the thought. He was really lucky to have friends like this, wasn't he?

After minutes of mourning, Jon looked around.

It was his bedroom. But not the cheap apartment, that he had been living in more the last few years. No, it was his parent's house from when he was still a student. He can tell by clean wallpaper and open curtains.

What is this, an after life?

"Jon! Wake up or you'll be late!" someone shouted from the floor underneath.

Mom?

"Jon!"

"I-I'm awake!"

"Dress up and come eat!"

Without thinking too hard, Jon put on the clothes and rushed down the stares to the kitchen. There, he saw his mom. Younger than he last seen her.

"What are you doing there? Sit and eat," but still as fierce as always.

Jon sat down, and only then he noticed his father sitting nearby. He was drinking his coffee and reading a newspaper, just like he used to do.

"Nervous about the first day?" he said, lowering the newspaper to look at his son.

"The first day of what?"

"School," he answered, a little confused by the question.

"What-"

"Jon, you still aren't eating? Do you want to be late?" mother hurried him.

"Sorry!"

After breakfast, he hugged his mother goodbye and went to school.

The day was warm, the sky was cloudless. Walking down the same path that he used to walk for years made him feel a bit nostalgic. Through the block of houses, turn to the right, walk straight until traffic lights, turn left.

A fifteen minute walk never felt shorter. Maybe it was due to the nostalgia, maybe something else.

The school gates welcomed him back. Others students were slipping into the building, some were chatting with friends, catching up.

Holding his breath, Jon made the first step. It was going to be a very long day.