Chapter 12: Trying To Make Peace With My Daughter
"I will deal with the Cordan Chase later. There should be enough time to talk. I still need to ask you something, Count Avor. " The duke exclaimed ending his business affair with the Count who has been working under him for almost 35 years. He's as old as the duke but the duke is still older than him by 5 years.
He manages the special crime expedition of the Ducal Estate since his family has once learned swordsmanship from the duke's father. They had become a trustworthy comrade of the duke and helped him with other ducal affairs that aren't part of the empire which is why Byrne's ducal estate has been independent on their own accord not in traitorous ways.
"It's been very long since our days had passed, if I recall, you always scold me for the foolish thing I did but you are the most loyal partner that had been with my side. You had a daughter right? How is she? " Count Avor nodded in relief but also laugh at the intention of knowing that the duke finally remember some old times before he become a duke.
Ever since he become a duke, the responsibility he had to learn from a young age, made him rush his thinkings and guts to fulfill his duty. He became more flexible at work, he never thought that with becoming a workaholic, he forgets many things like when he almost drown himself in a river filled with rocky stones.
He did think to survive, he had to rush many things. Eventually, despite everything, he had to grow maturity in order to manage the estate affair more flexibly.
"My daughter had grown so much, milord. She's already 10 years old, she is a bright daughter so my daughter is in a wonderful state. " Count Avor said, while his lips hide the fact that he was happy, made the duke face flattened to pallid.
When the count was attempting to continue, he had noticed the atmosphere behind them change as well as the duke's expression. He was staring at the count, ready to punch his face as if the count told something to make him go wild.
The count was taken aback by the thoughts of having his life threatened on the line. He stood and he bow in front of the duke to calm him from doing anything unnecessary because of just a small topic. This is the reason, no other than the count can have a small talk with the duke because of his serious face that can't seem to change unless being mad at something.
"I apologize, milord, if the topic is not in your favor, should anything and other that may involve business instead? "
'I beg you, please calm down milord. '
The duke, Byrne's Duke - Lord Shahel, is Lady Kiana's father's name. However, on official occasions, names are only part of the empire's etiquette. Every duke must be refrain to be called their names unless it's for formal occasional greetings nor introductions.
That is why, despite having a name, the duke will be called 'milord' by his people inside the ducal estate but different outside the estate. He will be officially called 'Duke Byrne or Duke Shahel' depends on the situation.
The duke who had seen his loyal subordinate bowing had him numb and he was back from dozing over his thoughts of the things that the count had told him. He didn't realize that he will pace from talking to him.
He was thinking about his daughter and the things she told before she turn away from him. The guilt is building inside his heart and whispers of regret seem to have affected his daily dreams at night. While he will dose at the middle of a day just because he remembers something that is connected to his daughter.
"I deeply apologize for scaring you, Count Avor. I was not in proper mind lately, I am unable to relax nor sleep tight these past days, I think I'm tired enough but still, I need to talk to you. " The count nodded while the misunderstanding had clear upon his mind and he rested back down.
"Count, is there a way to make up with a child who's very upset with you? I think Kiana has been avoiding me lately. " Twice he blinks, the count left speechless, it has been a while since he cared about his daughter who had not been talking to her because the duke seems to be... neglects the lady... at some point...
"I understand, milord. You should spend more time with her more, you might need to take time to pursue her forgiveness. I recommend the duke that you must clear up your duties for 2 days, and try to pursue your daughter within those gaps of time. "
"I--- I see. Thank you for your recommendation, Count Avor. For now, you'll be busy. " The count nodded and he bid goodbye to the duke and left the office.
-----♣️-----
The day after the duke had spoken to Count Avor, he spend his time clearing up his messed up papers and desk as well as assign the new secretary to manage the remaining works for 2 days before he declare his 2 days off to the whole estate and thus he assigned his personal secretary as his temporary stand.
When he had his hands emptied, the 1st thing that the duke did that morning was to order the maids to cook a proper breakfast and pastry desserts. He then immediately ask the gardener to clear up a path beside a tree on the right spot where the former duchess usually sees the view of the whole terrain.
Now the atmosphere had felt so awkward after the longing silence. Both Kiana and he had not talked since the beginning of the breakfast. The only thing he can do is look at her in every inch he could capture but the moment he intended to speak, he will hesitantly grip his tongue.
'Dammit, Shahel talk! You need to talk or else you'll lose your opportunity to make up with your daughter...'
The shutters of sound only evolve by their movements while they didn't talk to each other. The utensils clang and their breath is the only sound in the dining room.
"Ki--"
"Pardon me, Your Grace... " He was stopped but he didn't mind and he looked at his daughter.
"G-go ahead, what is it? " Kiana was sure that there's something wrong with his father consider the things he did like announcing his 2 days off which he never had done before and the interference of the garden as well as the newly made dish for breakfast.
She couldn't tell what was happening but she was sure that something is strange around her father lately.
"Why did you take a leave? Your working too much, yet you decide to take 2 days off? Why? " Her confusing look was written all over but he couldn't do anything regardless of that matter since Kiana had already ask.
He only smile at her and he nodded. "I decided that I should rest, perhaps because of my body lately. I need rest at this moment that is why I decided to take 2 days off. "
"Your Grace? --"
"I wanted to make up with you, daughter... Please forgive me for everything I have done that made you suffer, I know I'm the worst father in this world but I did love you and never did I blame you for your mother's death but this... I will atone for everything, just let me make up with you. "
The words that the duke has told made Kiana's heartthrob fast as if it normally can. She didn't expect him to care nor even make his time more relax just to have time with her. This time mix emotion is currently bribing her entire mind.
'What if he's only doing this because of pity? Or neither less, why would a father who had neglected his daughter since the day she was born is talking such about things it didn't matter to him. '
She was scared to believe and then to be thrown out again. She couldn't shrug the feeling that lingers on her mind when her fork fell off her grasp the second time she blinks in shock.
"W-why? "
There's no reason for him to do this because he still lounged for her dead mother. He's doing such confusing things and she didn't want to amend that is why she decided to stand in an attempt of leaving.
"You don't need to forgive me this time, I'm not in a hurry but at least let me atone for the time I didn't spend for you. I WANTED TO BECOME A GOOD FATHER. Because I never did such a thing that it guilts me to see myself in a situation of lounging for someone who already died, and I didn't realize sooner that I still have a daughter who is well and alive. "
Hot liquid suddenly brushed off the young lady's face. She is about to lose her calm and reluctant personality. Her face had washed by sad tears like a river of the souls pouring unto her heart, melting the door she build to forgive his father.
She once again remembers the time she spent her days alone inside her room only to see her father twice in 1 week. She remembers the pain she endure the same day it was her birthday that her father only sent gifts and luxurious items yet never had come to greet her in person.
All of those days made her remember the time she couldn't see her father and she was reminded of that lonely child. That is maybe she was fooled by a swayed word and died believing that love is not intentional.