1 Black Angel

It was raining so hard almost an hour. I was standing at the bus stop trying to see on my wristwatch what time is it. There was no light around me. Total darkness and rain. My shoes were wet, so were my feet and clothes, all soaked wet. It was cold and I wrap my hands around me trying to warm a little. My bus was already gone and I had the feeling that will happen when I was heading this way.

It was a stupid idea to go on a trip to the capital city at this hour, but my friend Yun Rea needed me. Her mother recently died and she was lonely. Earlier that evening she called me crying, begging me to come there and to stay with her. I felt sorry and said "yes". It was my sudden decision but I had no regrets. I packed some clothes and told my mom about it. She was drunk as usual and didn't care for me at all. I left a sigh and looked around the house again. Nothing much to see. Old furniture, empty bottles of soju everywhere, walls with peeling paint, and one mirror with a big crack in the corner. My mom had one of her countless episodes throwing the bottle on it, so the poor mirror was left like that for a while.

I left the house closing the door and felt like I closed the worst chapter in my book of life. Last month I turned eighteen but it was more like I turned fifty. Feeling tired of all, my always drunk mother, kids from school who laughed at my old clothes and shoes, and most of all my "bastard" status. I lived in a small town, where everybody knows everybody and it was a well-known story about my mother and a famous actor who once came here on a holiday. They met and my mother fell in love, but he was a classical rich playboy. He had fun with my mom and after two weeks he left leaving her without saying goodbye. After three months my mom finds out that she was pregnant. That was a shame for her family and they kicked her from the house. She came here in her late grandmother's house and stayed here. To be able to live she had to work in a local bar, spending countless hours there, doing all kinds of work they gave to her. When the owner finds out that she was pregnant he wanted to fire her but she gets on her knees begging to let her stay, crying and pleading, swearing at her unborn child that she will do anything for him. The owner lets her stay and in the end, he even sends some woman to help her deliver the baby when was the time. So that is how I came to this world.

I was the fruit of a sin mine unknown father and my naive mother. I could say that street, neighbors, and sea taught me what is life. Street because that was my second home. I wandered around alone so many times, no matter if was winter or summer and that was usually when my mom was in one of her moods. After I was born she started to drink, and she never was able to look into my eyes saying that I have my father's eyes and I resemble him too much. She had that habit to throw me outside only letting me in when was dark and she couldn't see my face. When she was not at home I used to watch myself in that cracked mirror looking at every part, trying to see my father's face on my own, but that didn't help because I never saw his picture and I had no idea how he looks. The only thing I knew was his name and that he was from Europe. That is why I had blue almost purple eyes, but the rest of my features were Asian. The strange mixture which I hate it. I always thought of myself as ugly. It must've been true because my own mother couldn't look at my face. Neighbors always called me a stranger in a bad connotation like I was an alien or something.

All those words were poison on my pure innocent soul. That made me become more of a loner than a person who will search for other companies. That is why I said the sea was my third important part of my education. How can sea educate a young girl? From the sea, people can learn many useful things. Watching how it behaves and being able to shape even hardest stones the way it desires. Attacking seashore by tides and retreating after, pulling stones and garbage with it. I had a collection of glass pieces shaped with seawater and I treasured them as evidence that everything is possible to achieve if you are persistent enough. Just like seawater turn pieces of glass in those shapes, mountains into rocks, luxury ships into wrecks, and place for fishes. I smiled at that thought standing there soaking wet on a bus stop with a small bag in my hand with all my belongings. I will become like a sea. When it's sunny I will be a cheerful and joyful person but when it rains I will become a smart and ruthless enemy to those who stand in my way.

I was determined this time and when Yun Rea called me, this plan came to my mind. I will go to the capital and be there for my friend because she was the only person I loved in this whole world but also to change my life and try to make something from it.

Finally, the bus came and I enter inside. Being all wet I thought about how to sit so I pulled out from my bag a white knitted scarf and sit on it. I didn't want that seat to get wet because of me. Once again I looked at my wristwatch thinking that I had enough time to catch my train.

It was around 10 PM when I entered the train taking my seat. Luckily inside was warm and my frozen body could get some warmth. Wrapping arms around me I stayed like that hoping that shivers all over my body are not a sign that I caught a cold.

When the train left the station I looked around in curiosity. It was not many people around me. Some couple near the entrance, few older people, and one guy all in black wearing snapback on his head tucked almost on his eyes. But that was not what caught my attention. He had a band on his arm sign that he is coming from a funeral. I felt sorry for him being alone like that. It must've been hard and even tho I didn't know whom he lost I knew that must've been painful. Without realizing I was staring at him in one moment he turned his head looking towards me. Didn't saw his face because of the snapback but I knew he saw mine, so I quickly looked away feeling how my cheeks are burning. It was suddenly so hot and I leaned my forehead on the cold window glass. After a while I felt very weak and touching my face I realize that probably I had a temperature. My body was shaking so I took my sweater and put it on me along with my white knitted scarf. Eyes become heavy but I kept fighting not to fall asleep but I guess I slept after all of that was from the fever but all seemed so unreal. Somebody was shaking me, calling to open my eyes but I barely could move. My lips were dry and the whole body was shaking. I felt something cold on my forehead and that felt so good so I fell asleep again. In one moment I opened my eyes and I was lying in somebody's arms. Through my lashes, I saw it was that boy in black who was holding me but it was too dark and I couldn't see his face. He was stroking my hair and leaned his head closer and his lips touched mine for a moment. I closed my eyes feeling his soft lips but after that, I lost my consciousness.

The next time I opened my eyes I was in the hospital Nurse told me that someone brought me here but she didn't know who that was. I smiled lightly - I have my guardian angel now! Although he was all in black and faceless I felt grateful to him. Somehow I knew that the one who saved me and brought me here was that boy from the train- my black angel. He gave me my first kiss and I hoped that was not a dream.

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