(Gate Of) Death

Josh was laying around his house and watching the last episode of the naruto series again, he was sad his one and only favorite anime was ended, but that didn't let him get down. He went out of the house finally after a few weeks because he was binge-watching naruto again, he had watched a few episodes of what he calls 'Trash' that people named Boruto.

Since he hadn't been outside for a few weeks, he decided to get fresh air and mow the lawn, yes he was a otaku, but he was a extrovert somewhat, he had friends who shared interests with some anime, but were like him.

He mowed the lawn and put it back, he got a lawn chair out of the garage and sat in the lawn on the chair. He drank a cold beer as thats what men do.

He saw a few kids playing football in a yard about 2 houses down, he decides to watch the little game as he had nothing else to do.

A hour or 2 later the game ended, but the kid touch-downed to hard and the ball flew into the street, so i picked it up as it wasn't to far and threw it back. I put up my lawn chair and cold beer bottles and went inside.

I was walking towards the kitchen when suddenly, i tripped on a banana peel, i hit my head on the floor and was groaning in pain, i picked up the banana peel and put it in the trash.

I walked towards the fridge and grabbed some CHEESE, yes i liked cheese, so i put it on some crackers and went to watch T.V.

The Next day i woke up and dusted the crumbs off of my shirt as i had fell asleep while watching T.V.

I go outside and i see a car rushing down the street, there wasn't anyone outside so i thought nothing of it, i walked towards my mail box and opened it, checked but no mail, the car flew right by me, inches away from hitting, i was a little shocked and my heartbeat sped up, but i calmed down after awhile and went inside.

I then decided to go on my laptop and check my mail there, i got a message from some random guy, i read it and it said, "WHY HAVN'T YOU DIED YET?!", i thought that it was a dumb message for someone else. I got off the laptop and went towards the kitchen, then a knife flew passed me, turns out, a theif was in the home and stealing stuff, i pulled the knife out of the wall, and dashed at him with a calm expression, i then sliced his body into minced meat, you can guess what job i had as a kid... a dark one, a road filled with murders and death, but anywho i sliced his body up and put it into bags and tossed it into the dump a few houses down.

As i was walking back i sensed something coming towards my head, i turned around and saw nothing, i thought it was weird until i couldnt see anything.

Turns out, i died by a baseball hitting my forhead at just the right amount of force to make me not feel anything. Such a embarrassing death...