1: I'm Dead, fuck you for letting me...wait what did just say?
There are three big no no's when you die, or rather three ways you don't want to go out. Number one is dying on the shitter, Number two is dying during sex, and we all have our own Number three we don't like to discuss very much. Now me? I died with number three. But imagine my surprise when I someone who was a pretty old gods religion guy, specifically Norse Mythology or Shinto Pantheon being my thing found myself Before Shenron and all the other good Dragons of Dragon Ball, Arceus, Rayquaza, Mew, Yoda, Divine Justina, The Father, The Daughter, Raava, Roku, Kyoshi, and Vaatu, The Son, Hagoromo and Hamura Otsutsuki, Ajuka Beelzebub, Shemhazai and Baraqiel...
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'Congratulations on dying in such an embarrassing way, the Omni God King of Jump, Bio, and Ava Worlds has declared that your soul may Reincarnate to one of our Realms.' Declared Super Shenron.
''I choose The Last Airbender.'' I say.
''As a parting gift you may choose Four Wishes.'' Says Vaatu.
''I wish to Reincarnate as a Firebender, trained by Jeong Jeong, Piandao and General Iroh. I Declare.
''Wish Granted, pick three more.'' Says Raava.
''I wish to have White Fire, like it burns hot like Thermite and Ionized Plasma. '' I Declare.
''Wish Granted. Pick two more.''
"My Third Wish is to have an absolutely irresistible charm when it comes to speaking with either Sex, doesn't matter if they have different ideologies, or if they're brainwashed, Insane, or if they're Spirits, my charm enables an irresistible persuasiveness that nothing short of you two together could resist. Now let me be clear, I don't want the resultant effect to be a slavishly devoted sex slave, rather the women will be naturally attracted to me through my speech and find anything I say highly believable if not probable. And as for men, they will fumble and stutter to refute me." I Say, just imagining how easily I could Charm my way into the pants of Ty Lee, Katara, Toph, Korra, Asami Sato, Kya, and Jinora. What? I'm a Pervert so fucking what? Sue me for all I care!
''Wish Granted. Pick One More.'' Says The Old sack of evil.
''I wish to have a Body that is a perfect vessel for Vaatu as an Avatar Spirit with an Immortal Body and Soul that each reincarnation gains in some form or another. However when I pass on I wish to Reincarnate as one of my Descendants so as to manifest as the next Avatar and receive all my memories upon becoming a fully realized Avatar. That being said I wish to become The Avatar that does what must be done, and the Avatar who does what the Light Avatar cannot, but I must be in control at all times.'' I say, making sure to be extra specific in what I want accomplished by the wish.
"That can constitute as more than one wish, but in the interest of hurrying things along I'll grant it but I'll be placing it under certain limitations." Says The incorporeal Sack of morality.
"Fine fine, just do me the favor of not making them too big of a pain in the ass to achieve nor control." I say dismissively as I am enveloped in a flash of light that came from The Old Windbag and her boy toy.
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(Fire Nation Royal Palace, Sozin City, Fire Nation Capital City, Fire Nation Heartland, Fire Nation, World of Avatar)
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Within the Fire Nation Royal Palace, The Imperial Firebenders trained relentlessly many of them were diehard loyalists, but the I was not one of otherwise I would obviously stand out, I was an orphaned boy called Kulon. Despite my handsome looks, and powerful Firebending, I was pretty unremarkable, and this suited me just fine. I had no noble title, but I had been selected as a student of both the Disgraced Jeong Jeong, Legendary Swordsman Piandao, and the fat, jolly, and legendary Dragon of The West General Iroh.
My end goal in this lifetime was to marry Ty Lee and form my Own Black Lotus Order. In my next Life I planned on getting into the wet silken folds of Korra and Asami, as well as Kya and Jinora. As for why Jinora? I blame Anaxus!
But in the here and now I needed a reputation. I had a few offers on the table to join various units, bring the Student of The Fire Nations Big Three Legends had that effect. But frankly.....it was far more fun to be a rebel. I'd automatically be on good terms with Katara, and it would not be too hard to gain access to Ty Lee. Though first I needed a Mask, something like Zuko's but more in line with Kiya ''Lothor'' Watanabe's Dark Ninja Master Mask, the one he wore after returning from the intergalactic banishment his brother, future Sister-in-law, Dad, and time-traveling future nephew sentenced his crazy fucking ass to.
But this was Avatar not Power Rangers, so a Dark Spirit Mask ideally. Wearing a Spirits Mask would add an air of mysticism to his job of causing problems for the Fire Nation. And spare Iroh certain shame in the eyes of the military he didn't end publicly known. Plus it was holding a certain appeal to it.
Before he could do anything though he needed to find Vaatu, then he could return as soon as Aang has awoken, and become the Dark Avatar. He would have to look for disciples to form his Black Lotus, and he could think of....Three Candidates off the top of his head: June, Hama, and Jet. The three each came with their own set of issues, but Kulon asked for Absolute Persuasion after all.
Having the Inventor of Bloodbending, First Radical, and Best Bounty Hunter would prove invaluable even though he was going to be the first to admit that as valuable as they were, they just as troublesome in their Personality as they were in usefulness. He could probably seduce June easily enough, but he'd balk at Hama, Really the only granny he'd bang would be an elderly Katara alongside her daughter Kya. That'd be worth any trade-Off unless the trade-off was an STD of course.
In any event it was high time to depart and leave a lasting mark on the World of Man and on the World of Spirits....as befits a true Avatar of Darkness.....
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Well, welcome to the Reborn into the Last Airbender with Four Wishes Story. Didn't have an awful lot to do so I decided that I'd hit this before Broly's rewrite. Got about 500 words for Broly already so no worries on that front.
See you guys later, I've got a dentist appointment in five minutes.