2 Chapter 2: The Birds, the Bees, and Time Warpies

As Emily hugged me tightly, I had this urge to mess with her. I enjoyed asking questions that a two-year-old shouldn't know. I found it hilarious and my parents thought it meant I was some kind of super genius. "Ms. Emily, where's your balls?' I asked her, putting on the facade of fake curiosity. I'll be honest, I could hardly keep a straight face.

"Wh- wh- what!?" Emily stammered, reeling back and looking at my face with quivering eyes, her face still redder than a strawberry. It took everything inside of me not to burst into laughter. "Your weewee and balls are gone, Ms. Emily." I reiterated, causing her to stutter even more.

"I- I think that's a question for Mommy and Daddy," she said with nervous laughter. I was going to let her off the hook eventually, but not quite yet. 

"Oh, okay. I'll tell Mommy and Daddy that Ms. Emily wasn't wearing undies and showed me that her balls were gone," I asked with childlike innocence, turning her face even more crimson as those words left my lips. Of course, wording it like that made the whole situation sound completely different.

"N-no! No, please don't do that!" Emily placed her hands over her face and started shaking her head in embarrassment. "I'll get in big trouble if you say it that way..."

"Well... Can you just tell me? I promise to keep it secret. Pinky promise." I held my pinky to her, causing her to laugh while wrapping hers around mine. "I can't believe I'm doing this..." she muttered to herself before looking into my eyes and giving me an explanation.

"Girls don't have weewees or balls, Ky. Well, some do, but I'm not one of those girls." Emily answered, smiling sweetly as if this was the end of it. "Oh..." I acted as if I had just heard a revelation before asking the next question. "But, how do girls pee then?" I asked her.

Emily blushed, turning her head to the side nervously. "Well... we have a different hole," she laughed nervously, looking around to make sure no one heard that. "A hole?" I asked. "What kind of hole?"

"You sure do ask a lot of questions," Emily said with nervous laughter. "I think that's enough questions."

Part of me wanted to keep it going, but I don't think I could've kept going without bursting into laughter. "Okay! Thank you, Ms. Emily!" I told her in my sweet innocent voice before skipping away from the kitchen as if nothing ever happened. Honestly, nearly getting my face melted off scared me straight; by that I mean my peeping days were over. It was fun while it lasted...

Eventually, I found myself in my room, lying on my stomach as I hovered over the password function on my iPad.

For months, my parents limited me to Cocomelon, Masha and the Bear, and whatever other brain-rot garbage kids these days watched glued to their tablets. I tried guessing the password, but I had no luck. I couldn't simply try every combination because the iPad would lock me out. Because of their parental controls, I had literally no knowledge of the world I was in. All I knew was that everyone looked like comic books still, disproving my theory that babies saw the world that way.

With my new power, however, I'd be able to guess the password as many times as I want, removing the parental controls, and allowing myself to surf the internet as I please. So, I started with the most common passwords. Birthdays, repeating sequences, four twenty-and-sixty-nine jokes, I really thought I had Bryan figured out with that one. Unfortunately, there was nothing. 'Welp...' I thought to myself, cracking my fingers over my iPad. 'Time to try every single combination imaginable.'

And so, I started with 0000, going up by one before reversing time to erase the fact that I tried entering a password. Because of my power, the iPad had no clue I was putting in combination after combination. 'I'm a fucking genius!' my inner voice exclaimed, knowing that with this power...

'I AM UNSTOPPABLE!'

Or so I thought.

Once I got to 0060, my time reversal ability stopped. 'Uh... What gives?' I thought to myself, trying with all of my might to once again reverse time. If I tried any harder, I would have shit myself.

'Damn...' I thought. 'This power of mine must be weak since I just awakened it. Or maybe it's because I'm a stupid useless toddler or maybe both. Perhaps if I train this ability... Maybe it will grow stronger.'

I figured it could possibly be It's sort of like how if you do pushups every day, you could push yourself to do one more each day until you reach your goal. Of course, you'll hit a ceiling since you can't do a million pushups in a single go, but I assumed my time-warping was similar.

So, my plan was to practice warping time every time I could feel my power was ready to be used again, entering password after password until my iPad was finally free from the shackles of YouTube Kids and Fruit Ninja.