Chapter 7: The Turtle demon
28, SEPTEMBER, AM 7:15
Ōnoki P.O.V
It has been some time ever since Sparda was in Iwa and in that single day time period knocked half my forces out of commission, insulted my daughter, caused million ryo worth of property damage, and most likely annoyed the entirety of Iwa and to make things worse he dropped a device that in a very loud volume leaked out this strange God damn music that destroyed ALL of the windows in iwa and annoyed a lot of the population even more in the process we managed to destroy it a few days later and after close research on the device we found complicated seals all over it which confirmed my worst fear the damned yellow flash had a son a chaotic one at that and probably had the Uzumaki as his wife seeing the fact that he managed to make a device that requires complicated mastery in Fuinjutsu. Speaking of the device Kurotsuchi's hatred for Konoha grew exponentially to the point where in her free time used the boy's bingo book picture as a dart board and at another point tried to leave Iwa to kill him and even after a long time our ears are still bleeding. And just for that, I placed a 5 million ryo bounty on him as an S rank missing nin mainly because Kurotsuchi won't stop sneaking away from Iwa till I do so and he managed to beat my elite ANBU forces with ease and he does not seem to give a care about so why not. Tsuchikage sama today is the chunin exams! What? I said not exactly hearing what my assistant is saying. I said- what! The Chunin- What?! Sir- WHAT?!!
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Protagonist P.O.V
And that's how you annoy the hell out of a great village and become an S rank missing nin with one move in one day I said watching from the screen of the Tsuchikage and assistant going on and out on one another like a married couple except with the argument part. Now my dude that's pretty cool, but isn't that kinda cruel? Killer Bee asked while rapping. If you thought that was bad you should have seen what I did to a certain pervert he got the worst of it.
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somewhere in Konoha
ACHO!!! Jiraya sneezed. Huh, why do I want to tear someone apart right now? HONK! HONK! IT THAT PERVERT AGAIN GET HIM!!! OH SHI-
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I can't fucking believe it Shukaku said while sitting on Gaara's lap. You're saying that a tailed beast can't destroy the weakest great village in the elemental nations without a sand-manipulating bastard stopping me but an Orange haired brat annoyed and temporarily crippled a village stronger than Suna and got away with it. To be fair you did cause more permanent damage in Suna and might have wiped half of its population I countered with Shukaku shrugging before falling asleep. So brat which of our missing kin are you going to brand next Son Goku asked while eating a banana. Well... I dragged on while summoning a list and showing it to Goku which he took note of it. I was planning on going to Kiri as at the moment from what I can get from my sources Yagura Isobu's Jinchuriki has against all odds survived and was turned back to normal by someone breaking a genjutsu that is cast on him and from what I can I hear was being done by Madara Uchiha. I said with all of the people in the room tensing up at the name not that I can blame them. Relax... this guy is a fake I said though they are still tensed up. And how do you know that? Han asked suspiciously. No shinobi even him can live this long and even then such a way to not die has its curses I answered and from what Kurama told me when he controlled him he did not have long hair and this prick is too damn prideful to even cut it I said with them finally calming down. If that is so then what now we can't just let him run free Yugito said. We will let him show that everything is going as he planned and then when he least expects it we give the prick what has been coming to him I promise you that I said. Well would you look at that the Chunin exams are starting I suggest you place your bets mine is Konoha now if you need me I have a turtle to find I said before leaving. ... Kumo! Iwa! KUMO!!! IWA!!! Suna ... KUMO!!! IWA!!!
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28, SEPTEMBER, AM 10:32
Yagura P.O.V
Alright, Mizukage sama if you need anything please call me the nurse said before leaving my room it has been a while since I can think clearly since Madara cast a genjutsu on me I have been doing heinous acts on the village which I have been guilty on, however, Thanks to Mei Terumi and Ao they managed to free my from the illusion and she has taken over Kiri ever since while I was incapacitated in all honesty I think I should retire seeing the fact that she has everything under control and besides I get to get away from paperwork oh the cursed being. While I would enjoy making a joke about how turtles can get up from their back I don't think that's appropriate at the moment I looked around and right next to me was a strange man with orange hair and with matching orange outfit eating what looks to be flattened bread. HEL- *Mmph* Woah calm down I'm not here to kill you. The stranger said before letting go of my mouth. Who are you? I asked. My name is Ethan Sparda S rank missing nin from Konoha and holder of the nine tails I said while looking down at his face. Why are you here then? I asked suspiciously. Well, remember the masked douchebag who manipulated you with genjutsu bullshit? Guess what the ghost buster gang rip-offs called the Akatsuki are after all of our heads specifically our tailed beasts and that guy who jacked you was with them Ethan said though I was confused about his accent. And I came here to brand you with this he said grabbing my arm and moments later a seal appeared in it. That seal there will allow you to communicate with me along with your fellow kin I would bring you to them but...
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in haven
??, ???, ?? ??:??
GO! GO! BEAT THEIR ASS!!! Yugito screamed while wearing a white hat and T-shirt with the words KUMO on it. Come on remember your damn training! Roshi said while wearing a red hat and T-shirt with the words Iwa on it. Calm down ya fools shouting is against the rules! Bee said worried about both of them along with Han agreeing before Roshi and Yugito looked at them with death in their eyes scaring the former before turning back to the TV. DON'T MAKE ME PUT YOU ALL IN HELL LATER ON!!! DON'T YOU DARE FAIL ON ME!!!
WHY IS EVERYONE SCREAMING?!! I AM TRYING TO SLEEP HERE DAMNIT!!!
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Protagonist P.O.V
they are at edge at the moment I said while sweating with Yagura nodding while confused. So I you need me or when the situation in Safe haven yes I named the place is cooled down let's say give it a few hours close your eyes or when your sleeping give me a howl I said but just as I was about to leave a door is slammed open revealing a few familiar folks. Mizukage sama we just... Aloha! I said while waving with them suddenly going into their battle stances with me being amused. Wait! Stop! Brat is that you?!! Zabuza pushed through them along with Haku being right next to him. Ahh, Zabuza long time no see partner you see I'm a jinchuriki and- WHAT IN THE NAME OF KAMI?!! we turned around and saw Yagura holding a giant spiky hammer with a hole on the back of it. Ethan what is- suddenly we saw the weapon's back suddenly spout out bubbles and it hit me Yagura activated his devil arm. OH SHIT! I screamed before using the Hirashin jutsu and disappeared before the hammer hit the ground and when I appeared right outside of the village the hospital suddenly burst with waves of water coming out of the entrance and exits flooding Kiri along with taking the rest of the many towns folk and shinobi in the updrafts I can briefly see a giant butcher knife and a hammer flowing by before I started whistling and ran for my life.
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Hours later at safe haven
Hey guys I'm back I did not just flood a great village I said as I saw Han and Bee hiding in the corner. and at the couch were Yugito and Roshi sitting there no noise was uttered from both of them uh... what happened I asked before pointing at the screen showing as I expected the same final matches in canon except me being replaced with Sai before suddenly Gaara appeared showing a smug look and I started to back away towards Gaara before Yugito and Roshi stared at us with the death stare before they pounced on us RUN!!!