This is gonna be a harsh review as this fiction has potential. Let's just start by saying, the author only has determination and a cool idea going for him currently. The writing quality is non existent. Huge blocks of text with non capitalized "I"s, but the worst part is that it reads like a stale cracker, dry. The author tells you what is happening with no context, emotions or humanity. Stability of updates I have no complaints with. Story development is way too fast paced. The characters have no time to develop. Which brings us to Character design. It's simply non existent. World background is not explained mentioned or touched upon. Overall a waste of time currently but with hopes of improvement. To the author: read a novel then write a novel. Don't watch a movie and try to type one down. Assume the reader knows nothing and try to bring them into your world. Good luck.
I know this is not the popular opinion but I really don't want this to be a harem. I don't mind multiple girls liking MC, but if the MC decided to go out with multiple girls, it would break the immersion for me. 1. This world has a culture close to the real world and was set in the US. For me, it wouldn't make sense for a polygamous relationship to work while at the same time showing a deeper level of affection the MC should have towards his partner(s). 2. For me, the MC going out with multiple girls would just make the MC a shallow person. (Even if he got the girl(s) blessings to be with another girl, how would the conversation go? Girl 1: I don't mind, I know you're not someone who can be tied down by just one woman. MC: Thank you, I love you so much. Even if the MC say something along this line, at that point, it was established that the MC didn't and wouldn't love the girl as much as she does him. It would be like knowing your MC is not and will not be strong enough to commit the rest of his life to a single woman. For me as a reader it would be equivalent to finding out the MC has reached his limit in power going forward.) But hey, in the end that's just me, I know a lot of readers would prefer harem ending, and truthfully I too like it when multiple women fall in love with MC (as long as it's not just love at first sight for ALL of them.). But in the context of this novel, that might be the limit of my personal tolerance, can't fathom the logic of MC being in a relationship with multiple women (with or without their blessings). I'm sorry if I'm ranting, but this novel had great potential, character and story development wise, so I'm just doing my best in wishing that the MC wouldn't "go out" with multiple women.
This is an update after my last review. Given your response I went back into it and just read the rest of the story and I’ll keep my criticisms and positives ******. On the one hand, characterization is still a big issue. Some characters are just given a block of choppy words that settles as a description while some others aren’t mentioned at all. The plot has slightly improved along the way with some obvious efforts to make it more impactful, though I will keep this spoiler free. Some of the changes are enjoyable and make sense. There are a few characters that act very unlike themselves, though this can be explained away with alternate universe shenanigans so it didn’t impact much. However the story continues on with a lot of characters being two dimensional and literally every female that sees the MC falling head over heels for his body. Besides One. There are some issues with pacing, blocks of plot seemingly cut off abruptly with the scene shifting elsewhere. Though it is good for worldbhilsing and developing a readers knowledge on the perspective of other characters the transitions between could use work. There is still an issue with the MC making blind leaps in knowledge for no real reason and being correct, even though it was established at the start he was not super intelligent and never seemingly gained super intelligence. There’s a lack of minor consequences for a fair amount of actions, namely actions that would affect the MC’s relationship with other characters being ignored and never brought up again beyond some few exceptions. The writing definitely needs some work, pacing is all over the place with minor errors or confusing shifts in dialogue. In the future please refrain from having quotation marks separating two sentences said by the character One after the other unless you intend to put descriptive text between. That’s about all I can come up with off the top of my head so on to the other hand. There is a marked improvement in effort regarding the plot and it’s direction. There is also obvious efforts towards character interactions beyond ‘Im the coolest guy ever’ ‘yes you are we’ll do what you say.’ The design choices for characters are at least thought out and use good references for designs so I have no issues there beyond maybe describing them a little more beyond ‘this costume from this version of the character.’ Sorry that there’s a fair bit more criticism, I’m not really good at pointing out positives. Anyway, that’s my review for where I’m up to, chapter 41, and I guess I’ll keep reading it. I’ll do a new review should you stick with it up to chapter 80.
Hey for his mutant power could be the ability to copy other people’s abilities and modify the abilities he gets including the ability to combine them but their is a downside so he is not to overpowered and that is they are weaker then those he copyed from and depending on either on how strong his body or mind or soul or all together he can have a certain number of abilites and if is at the limit he has to lose one of choice and he can replace it and good luck with novel it is great 👍 and their are my small ideas.
you did a good job with introducing the new character and the scenario looks pretty good so far I don't know what you have in store for the goblin serum but I expect something great like making it complete to make him stronger and I like the way your story uses the knowledge the mc has instead of doing nothing when he can help people but still make the story progress the way it was supposed to one word of advice try to maintain your upload rate with a normal schedule.