Despised

She pulled her hand and took a step away from him. The warmth of his touch lingered slightly like a notification of what she what she just escaped.

She put her hand under the running water again but this time her focus was the part he touched as she focused on using the coldness of the water to erase those lies, she missed the slight furrow of his brow and darkening of his eyes.

"Why are you cooking?" he asked her.

"I am cooking to eat," she replied as she bent to pick up the spoon.

"I employed a professional cook to handle that," he reminded her.

"I am a professional cook," she replied considering the two decades she spent cooking for him and their twins and the months she spent diligently in a culinary course to acquire good cooking proficiency.

"Of course, you are and your food tastes the best," he told her as he moved away from her and sat down on a stool at the island.

She wanted to ask why he still went out to eat if her food tasted the best but when she thought of how he could have said that to either mock her or be sarcastic, she pressed her lips together as she continued cooking.

"I will eat what you cook," he said when he got no response from her over what his compliment.

"I prepared one portion," she replied although it was a lie. She had become so used to preparing dinner for two although she always ate dinner alone. The thought that he might come and have nothing to eat always had her preparing something for him along with hers.

"I don't care," his voice was cold as he told her. "I will eat what you just prepared," he told her with a detached voice as though he was not so worried and careful with her earlier.

She smiled painfully as she turned to look at his departing back. It was more like it, his momentary change scared her as even just a couple of seconds could make her so used to it, could make her addicted and detaching from that few seconds of warmth was so painful but it was her reality.

She saved the meat and vegetable dishes on the dining table and began eating without waiting for him as she did not expect him to come to eat with her.

His cold was cold when he returned downstairs and saw her eating. She felt his intent gaze on her but she continued eating enjoying the spicy taste of her soup. He pulled back a chair and sat down.

She did not wait for him to ask for rice before she went to the kitchen quietly and returned with a bowl of rice and soup for him.

He said nothing with his usual detachment as he reached for the bowl and began eating. He stopped when he tasted the soup and looked at her. Feeling his gaze, she ignored his despite how difficult it was until she heard him say, "This is really the best."

It did not sound like a compliment with his calm expressionlessness but she could not understand why she got many compliments from him in just one night. If this continues, she feared that she might forget about her plan to divorce him and she would lose in the end.

Leaning back, she placed her cutleries down and said, "I don't want anything. I won't take a penny from you, I won't take anything from your house, just sign the papers, okay?"

She avoided his gaze but she could feel the anger as the temperature in the room dropped and the silence that followed her words was so heavy weighing on her shoulders.

She had never seen him act out of his usual cool self in the past but she half expected his overturn the table and she could not stop herself from trembling slightly.

When that did not happen, she raised her head when she gathered enough courage to so and he was reached to take a spoon of soup calmly as though she had said nothing to him, surprisingly, she felt no hostility from him.

"Could you please . . ." she began but when he raised his head and met her gaze and there was no atom of warmth in his grey eyes. She could almost swear that he was step away from what she had imagined earlier.

She pressed her lips together and looked down at his half bowl of rice. He took a spoonful and continued eating. She wished she could persuade him to let her go but with his silence was deafening, she wanted so badly to escape.

They ate in silence and she could not connect the man sitting less than a meter with the man who had been so worried about a small spill of hot soup on her hand when she had many more injuries in her past life but he never spared her a glance.

She took care of the dishes after dinner but he was still sitting at the table when she came out of the kitchen. She walked towards the stairway feeling her legs moving faster than she wanted it to as she tried to be as calm as she could.

"Sleep in the master's bedroom," his voice called from behind her.

His voice was not loud but she could not pretend to have not heard with the quietness of the house at the moment. She tried to ignore and keep walking but she was forced by the shock of his words to stop with her hand resting on the handrail to keep her steady.

"I would not want to be an inconvenience," she told him with her voice slightly shaky. Without giving him the chance to respond, she hurried up the stairs without wasting a second.

She locked the door of her room and took a shower before going to bed. She shook her head firmly as the memories of her first night with him in her past night tried to surface, it was a nightmare she did not want to relieve, however, then, she was so glad she would have gone to the rooftop to announce it if she had the chance to.

He had gotten himself drunk with wine after telling her he wanted them to consummate their marriage, something that should have been done a decade ago. She was shocked and asked him why suddenly and he told her he needed a heir.

She was so glad that he wanted her to be the mother of his children, she was glad that day. He had taken care of her but as she remembered, she could still remember the look of difficulty he wore, it must have taken him a lot determination to touch her.

It hurt thinking of it as of present, to think that her husband could despise her to such extent that he could not comfortably be with her however, then, she was glad that she was going to be granted the grace of bearing the child of the man she loved.