Naruto - Part 8
"Genin Uzumaki, you have been called before this council, because we wish to ask you some questions pertaining to the abilities you revealed during the Chunin exam preliminaries." Elder Mitokado Homura spoke, opening up the special council session that had been called for that very reason.
Sarutobi could only sigh with resignation. He had known that the council would give him headaches over Naruto's fight in the preliminaries and he had been right. Had it been just about anyone else, this council session wouldn't have happened, but since it was Naruto they stuck their noses into everything, just because he was the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. The blond's surly attitude towards people had made them even more paranoid and they felt justified in calling a full council session to interrogate a Genin just because he had turned out to be surprisingly capable. He couldn't even fault Naruto for having no patience for the people of Konoha, considering the way they acted.
The elder council, Danzo included, along with all of the clan heads were in attendance. Even the three civilian representatives had managed to get themselves included, using some loophole about how this issue concerned the civilian population as well to join in on what was technically a shinobi only issue.
The civilian representatives weren't liked much by the clan heads, though the elder council found them useful sometimes. The reason for the dislike was that unlike the clan heads who were all active shinobi, with the exception of Hyuuga Hiashi who had retired to focus fully on his clan, the civilian councilors were professional politicians. In other words, they were a pain in the ass to deal with.
Councilor Akiyama was the oldest of the three, an older man in his late fiftees, his black hair going silver at the sides of his head with a meticulously groomed goatee, giving him a distinguished look. The man was always asessing the council proceedings with sharp, dark eyes, speaking up whenever he thought he could influence something to go the way that he wanted it to.
Councilor Ishida was over a decade younger, brown haired and brown eyed. The kind of man that you would overlook reflexively because he was so unassuming. He was however as manipulative as any politician and used his unassuming appearance like a tool.
Councilor Kimura was the only woman on the civilian council and the youngest of the three, being in her early thirtees. She retained a youthful appearance with shiny black hair and green eyes. She had always been a beautiful woman and wasn't above using her looks to get what she wanted.
The three of them knew that they needed to present a united front if they wanted to achieve anything in a shinobi village, so they did so in spite of their no doubt conflicting interests. They went to great effort to present a cool, collected and trustworthy image, always dressed in high quality clothing and looking almost obsessively tidy.
In a hidden village, the word of the Kage was law, they only reason that they were even on the council was because the Sandaime thought it would improve the workings of the village. Most of the civilians had been devastated at the loss of the Yondaime, but these three were secretly pleased, as the young Hokage had been intending to disband the civilian council.
The shinobi on the council trusted them less than they would trust the Tsuchikage and never took anything they said at face value.
"Yeah, what about them?" Naruto asked disinterestedly, picking his ear and flicking some ear wax towards the civilians. The neutral but pleasant expressions on their faces froze and all of the shinobi were easily able to pick up on the fact that the civilian councilors were quite annoyed by the display of disrespect even if their faces didn't show it.
"You made use of a technique that you called an Uzumaki secret art, as well as a self healing ability that you claimed used your own chakra and displayed considerable aptitude with Fuinjutsu. We wish to know if you have any other abilities that you have kept hidden." Utatane Koharu stated, picking up from where her old teammate left off.
"You want to know if I have any other abilities and if they are possibly a bloodline?" Naruto asked neutrally.
"Yes." Koharu confirmed.
"Sure, I'll tell you everything." Naruto said pleasantly, making Koharu and Homura, along with the civilian council, smile at how cooperative the village Jinchuuriki was being. Sarutobi was surprised and the clan heads were confused, as this was rather out of character for Naruto according to what they knew or had heard of the blond from their children.
Hiashi took a drink of water, contemplating what game the Uzumaki was playing, as he could clearly see that he was up to something.
"I'll tell you everything, if you get naked, down on your knees and lick my ass, bitch!" He had been dying to say that to someone who thought themselves way too important and the look on the old hags face made it all worth it.
Koharu's eyes went wide and her pupils shrank in shock, her jaw hanging and mind blanked out with incomphrehension. That was the single most disrespectful and crass statement that had ever been thrown her way in her life, simultaneusly insulting her, making a demeaning proposition and demanding that she abase herself if she wanted anything from him. She had gotten used to the respect that her position as a village elder gave her and she had no idea how to deal with this development.
Hiashi spat out the water in his mouth in shock, soaking the front of his white robes, leaving him choking on the water that he had accidentally inhaled. The head of the Hyuuga had never before looked more undignified.
After the moment of shock had passed, Inuzuka Tsume started howling with uncontrolable laughter at the look on the elders faces, not to mention the choking Hiashi and gaping civilians, even the Hokage was looking stunned. As far as she was concerned, this was the best council meeting ever.
The Ino-Shika-Cho trio had their shoulders shaking in supressed laughter, doing their best to control themselves, but unable to keep from cracking up at the poleaxed looks everyone was sporting.
Aburame Shibi was doing the best out of everyone, but even his shoulders were shaking slightly and his insects were buzzing noticeably louder.
None of the clan heads were particularly fond of the elders, who had at one point or another tried to get all of them to reveal all of their secret clan techniques 'for the good of the village'. Nor were they particularly pleased at being called in to this meeting just because the elders felt that they were entitled to knowing everything about Naruto. Mostly they had all just intended to stay quiet and hope that the whole thing passed quickly, but it was proving to be unexpectedly amusing.
Even Sarutobi couldn't help from chuckling once he got over the shock. Naruto was fully within his rights as the Uzumaki clan head to refuse such a request and the elders couldn't do anything about it, though the way he had done it was a bit much. Had Naruto been younger, then they could have claimed he was too young to take leadership of the clan, as was the situation with Uchiha Sasuke, but Naruto had been old enough to take leadership of the clan when he had turned 16 and since he was the only known Uzumaki still alive, he was clan head by default. Kakashi had informed him that Naruto had learned about his heritage on his own years ago. That the blond had not revealed so much as a whisper of it grieved Sarutobi, as it meant that he could have been the one to tell Naruto and perhaps finally establish some kind of relationship with him. Instead the blond had figured it all out himself somehow and no doubt resented him all the more for keeping it from him for so long.
Danzo only gave a small frown, though he was in fact quite angry. If Sarutobi had allowed him to take the boy and train him to be a weapon, then the Jinchuuriki wouldn't be this rebellious. As far as he was concerned, Uzumaki Naruto was property of the village and had no business refusing them anything. After decades of being the only one of the five great hidden villages without a tailed beast in their arsenal, they finally obtain the strongest of them and then the soft hearted Sandaime just lets it run wild.
"How dare you talk to the council this way you disrespectful brat?! Who do you think you are?!" Councilor Kimura ranted, finally losing her cool, ignoring the warning glances from her two counterparts. She had enough presence of mind not to make any mention of the Kyuubi or demon related insults, which had been the reason that her predecessor had 'mysteriously' vanished, due to the Sandaime's law.
All three of the civilian councilors had an axe to grind with the blond, having lost both family and business during the Kyuubi attack. Akiyama had been the only one on the civilian council at the time and he had assisted the other two in getting council positions specifically because of their hatred for him. All of them had worked subtly and sometimes not so subtly to make Uzumaki's life miserable, though in the last few years the blond had proven strangely untouchable. They had tried to end his life when he had been younger, but all of their attempts had failed and it had gotten progressively harder the older he got and now they couldn't do anything anymore. They had pushed for joining this session in the hope of being able to do something again.
"I think I'm the clan head of the Uzumaki, the son of Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage and that the old fossils over there were trying to pry clan secrets out of me." Naruto answered her coolly, immediately silencing the room as people tried to process that little revelation. He wasn't thrilled about revealing that piece of information, but as long as it was hidden, the damned council would keep sticking their noses into his business and he wasn't feeling like dealing with their shit.
"Hokage-sama is that true?" Ishida asked urgently, hoping desperately that it wasn't. If it was true then that meant that they had long since made an enemy out of someone who was eventually going to wield a lot of influence in the village.
"Yes, it's true. His heritage and clan status was kept hidden for his safety." Sarutobi said simply. He realized why Naruto had revealed that information even if he didn't like it. He had hoped that Naruto would be stronger by the time it was revealed. At the very least, the blond was far from a pushover even if he was a fresh Genin and would hopefully continue to grow stronger, especially as Jiraiya was now in the village to take him as an apprentice.
"Please forgive my outburst Namikaze-sama." Kimura said with a smile that she tried really hard to make as pleasant as possible, hoping to play on the blonds, by now, well known appreciation for women to smooth things over. There was also the fact that she could practically feel the stares from her two older counterparts, silently telling her to fix the damage her earlier outburst might have caused.
"Who the hell are you calling 'Namikaze'?" Naruto asked her coldly, making the woman break out into nervous sweat. "I was born an Uzumaki and I'll stay an Uzumaki."
"Ah, of course Uzumaki-sama, please accept my apologi..." The woman spoke, off balanced by his hostility, as well as his refusal of his fathers name and scrambling to offer an apology that would pacify him.
"If you try to suck my dick now that you know who my parents were, I'm going to make you choke on it." Naruto interrupted, having no interest in her groveling.
Tsume started howling again, infinitely amused by the obvious anger and humiliation that the council woman was feeling, but well aware that she was already on thin ice and not daring to respond. The Ino-Shika-Cho trio were similarly amused, though less obvious about it. Shibi was being stoic as usual and Hiashi was frowning with disapproval at the circus that the Uzumaki had turned the council into.
The two elders were silent, having already known this, while Danzo was frowning again. Now that his status as a clan head had been revealed, any chance, however slim, of getting the Jinchuuriki placed under his control was lost, but perhaps there was another way to control him.
"I suggest that we place Uzumaki Naruto under the Clan Restoration Act so that he may restart the Uzumaki clan in Konoha." Danzo spoke once Tsume had stopped laughing, plunging the room into silence once again.
"The hell is the Clan Restoration Act?" Naruto asked, having never heard of it.
"It's an old law that was passed by the Nidaime. Basically, Konoha would be obligated to construct a clan compound for you and you would be required to marry several women and begin repopulating the clan as soon as possible." Sarutobi explained. He wasn't too fond of the idea of forcing Naruto to get married to multiple women and make him start popping out babies, especially since he suspected that Danzo would try to arrange for women through which he could exert some kind of control over Naruto. If push came to shove, he would do his best to make sure Danzo didn't get a say in the women that were selected.
"Yeah...that's not gonna happen." Naruto said after he got over his incredulity at hearing the specifics of that particular law.
"As the last male member of a powerful clan, you cannot refuse." Danzo stated firmly.
"Well, I hate to burst your bubble bandages," Naruto began, making Danzo scowl slightly at the insult." But even if I pretended to care about what you say I can or cannot refuse, none of the women would be getting pregnant."
"What do you mean?" Inoichi asked curiously.
"I've placed a seal on my nuts that renders me sterile until I remove it. It will only deactivate if I pulse my chakra into it in a specific pattern. And in case anyone gets any ideas about cutting my nuts of in case I die, it also functions as a powerful explosive note if it's ever fully separated from my chakra network." Naruto explained, causing widespread horror among the males in the room.
"Are you telling me, that you placed what is essentially a high powered explosive seal on your testicles on the off chance that someone cut them off?" Inoichi asked incredulously.
"Yep."
After hearing this, Inoichi was absolutely certain that he never wanted to go into the mind of Uzumaki Naruto and it wasn't because of the Kyuubi. The blond looked sane and spoke like a sane man, but he was clearly not altogether sane. As a master of psychology and an expert on the human mind, Inoichi could only call him 'alternatively' sane.
Danzo supressed the urge to scowl furiously. The damned blond brat had effectively sterilized himself and booby trapped his testicles, making any kind of motion to place him under the CRA completely pointless.
"Now if you're done wasting my time, I've got better things to do." Naruto said and started walking out of the room without waiting for a response.
"Hokage-sama has not dismissed you Genin." Koharu snapped at him, putting particular venom in the way she said his rank, still angry over what he had said to her earlier.
"He rolls over for everyone else, including you, so I don't see why he wouldn't do the same for me." Naruto snapped back without turning to face her and slammed the doors open, patience thoroughly strained from dealing with the idiocy of the council. He would definitely have them executed if he was Hokage.
Koharu and Homura looked as if they were a hairsbreadth away from calling ANBU to drag blond back into the council chamber when the Sandaime spoke.
"Let him go, we're finished here anyway." Sarutobi said tiredly, wondering to himself if perhaps Naruto had no respect for him because he was so lenient with the council.
It was likely too late for him to be building any bridges with Naruto, but he would still help the boy as much as he could. He would inform Kakashi to send Naruto over to the hot springs where Jiraiya was no doubt going to be doing his peeping tomorrow.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jiraiya was doing one of his favorite things in the world. Research!
Technically, Sarutobi-sensei had asked him to come to Konoha due to Orochimaru's presence and because Naruto had finally made Genin. It had taken the brat quite a few years longer than Jiraiya had expected, but what mattered was that he had made it. The toad sage wasn't really upset over the fact that Naruto seemed to be rather talentless, as his father had been the same. Despite everyone saying that Minato was a genius, he had in fact been dumb as a post, he just worked so damn hard that everyone thought he was a genius.
Except for his bizzare talent with Fuinjutsu. Jiraiya had no idea how someone could be such a dunce at most of the shinobi arts and yet be a genius at the hardest of them. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Kushina had been a seal mistress? The crazy blond seemed to get almost supernaturally competent at everything whenever that equally crazy redhead of his was involved.
Ah, but it was no time for such thoughts now, there were more important matter afoot, such as the goings on in the female side of the hot spring.
There were four very lovely ladies currently in the hot spring and he was furiously scribbling down notes while the women chatted between themselves obliviously.
Their conversation turned to something that instantly caught his attention and he began to eavesdrop shamelessly.
"...been so long since he visited." A woman that looked to be in her late twenties said with a cute pout. She was, in Jiraiya's expert opinion, a work of art, with a full, curvaceus figure and sparkling brown eyes and a curtain of luxurious brown hair.
Then again, every pretty woman was a work of art in Jiraiya's opinion.
"You have no right to complain, it's been even longer since he's come to play with me." Said another demurely, this one a black haired and dark eyed beauty of similar age to the first speaker. If Jiraiya had to choose he would say that this one was definitely his favorite. She wasn't quite as curvy as the previous one, but there was a mysterious and alluring beauty about her and the way that she spoke about this unknown lucky bastard coming to play with her was setting off his pervert senses.
Clearly these four were good friends, judging by the topic of conversation.
"Maybe you scared him off with your perverted antics Keiko." A woman that looked to be a few years younger teased, this one with short black hair and deep blue eyes. Not quite as full bodied as the other two, but still very beautiful.
Jiraiya was deeply intrigued by the information that the dark beauty was a pervert. He didn't allow his imagination to run too wild, as he knew that what women called a pervert wouldn't even rate a raised eyebrow from most men.
"Naruto-sama is not the type to be frightened off by anything Aiko, least of all by my perverted antics as you call them, you should well know this." The now named Keiko said archly, before giggling demurely behind her hand.
"Didn't he ask you not to call him Naruto-sama?" The last of the four girls spoke with amusement in her tone, this one having long dark brown hair and light amber eyes. She was the most petite of the four, making it somewhat hard to determine her age, but Jiraiya's experienced eye placed her as being of a similar age as the previously named Aiko.
Naruto-sama? They can't possibly be talking about my godson can they? I know that he's 17 by now and women have no doubt become interesting to him already, but they wouldn't be calling him Naruto-sama, it's gotta be some other Naruto.
"I've never quite managed to figure out whether Keiko calls him that out of true respect or because she knows that he doesn't like it." The as of yet unnamed first speaker said.
"Why Tsuki, Kasumi, you wound me with your words. Naruto-sama knows that I cannot adress him in any other way after the way he handled me. Ufufufufufu." Keiko replied teasingly, placing extra emphasis on her last two words, finishing with a perverted little chuckle that almost made Jiraiya give a out a perverted chuckle of his own, kind of like a wolf howl being answered by another wolf howl.
"SO, what would a PERVERT be doing with his FACE PRESSED AGAINST THE WALL TO THE FEMALE SIDE OF THE HOT SPRING?" Came a sudden and shockingly loud voice from right behind the toad sage.
Jiraiya had been so caught up in eavesdropping, hoping to hear and see some more juicy tidbits, that he hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings at all.
Jiraiya heard the expected, outraged female exclamations and prepared himself for the inevitable beating. He had learned long ago that it was simply no use trying to run away from furious females hellbent on extracting their pound of flesh. A pervert would have more success running away from the death god.
The four women were on him like a pack of wolves savaging a wounded deer, leaving the mighty toad sage in a haze of pain. Through the feet kicking the life out of him, he dimly saw the amused and whiskered face of a long haired blond that was for some reason going around wearing a black coat with nothing under it.
When the beating was over, the women turned towards the other man, fully prepared to beat the tar out of him too, but upon noticing who he was, immediately became very friendly.
"Naruto-sama! It was you who saved us from this old perverts' depredations! You must allow me to repay this service." Keiko said suggestively.
"Perhaps he would like to join us in the female side of the hot spring once we dispose of this creepy old man." The one that Jiraiya had pegged as Kasumi said, equally suggestively.
"As much as it pains me to refuse such lovely women, I actually have business with the creepy old man, sparing you from his lechery was merely a happy coincidence." Naruto responded.
A huge mane of white hair, faded green clothes with a red haori over it, complete with wooden geta sandals. Red lines running down from his eyes and a forehead protector with the kanji for 'oil' on it. The toad sage couldn't have been more distinctive if he'd tried. Naruto had of course recognised Jiraiya for who he was, as the man was rather recognisable, but there was just something morbidly amusing about seeing an S-rank shinobi getting beaten up by civilian women.
"But it's been so long since you've visited." Aiko said with a pout.
All four women were by now pressing themselves up against the newcomer and to Jiraiya's infinite shock, he recognised the man as his godson.
"I've been very busy lately, but I'll see if I can make some time for you girls. " All four women started looking excited, prompting Naruto to continue. "Now remember that I'm not making any promises and I've told you not to wait for me and find yourselves a more stable relationship instead."
"Alas Naruto, I fear that you've ruined us for other men." The petite Tsuki said dramatically, with her hand on her forehead, pretending to swoon, making Naruto catch her.
The woman surged upwards and smashed her lips onto Naruto's as soon as he caught her. As soon as the kiss ended, Kasumi clamped her lips onto him and then Aiko.
The blond turned towards Keiko, who had a gleam in her eyes that he recognised all too well. With an internal sigh at her strange appetites, Naruto went towards her, making sure to grab her arms and restrain them behind her back in such a way that it was just a bit painful, before he pulled her close and kissed her.
"Naruto-sama, a pleasure as always." Keiko said with a pleasant shudder running through her body.
"Well girls, you should probably head home now, or else this old creep here might be tempted to peep on you again." Naruto said, giving Kasumi and Keiko a light slap acoss the butt.
All four girls laughed and started walking towards the room where their clothes were. "You're such a perv, do try to make some time for us ok? We've missed you." Kasumi said fondly.
All of this was happening right in front of the eyes of the toad Sannin, who could make no sense of the things happening right in front of him.
His eyes had to be deceiving him, because there was no way that his godson had just been invited to join the women in their bathing and quite possibly something more than that.
How could he, Jiraiya of the Sannin, a legendary shinobi whose skill and power was known worldwide be beaten and scorned by women everywhere he went, while his wet behind the ears godson got invited to a public orgy when he accidentally ran into a group of sexy babes? It made no sense and yet it had happened.
Why did he, a living legend, get the daylights beaten out of him when women called him a pervert, while they said it to his godson as if it was a compliment?
In that moment, Jiraiya realised that his godson had already surpassed him in everything that truly mattered in life, leaving him only one thing to do.
"I submit myself to your teachings, oh great master!"
Naruto looked at the white haired Sannin kneeling in front of him in dogeza position with a sweatdrop forming on the back of his head and couldn't help muttering to himself incredulously.
"This idiot taught my father?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jiraiya took a long look at his godson now that they had moved to a more private area and had to say that he was impressed.
Well, he was mostly impressed by how good the blond seemed to be with women, but from a purely shinobi standpoint, he wasn't anything to scoff at for someone who had only been a Genin for a few months.
And he was big too, not quite as big as him, but considering that he wasn't done growing yet, he might well end up being bigger.
Sarutobi-sensei had briefed him on Naruto's known abilities and there was definitely a lot to work with. He could teach him how to refine the use of his hair in combat and sparring would improve his Taijutsu. His massive chakra reserves easily lended themselves to summoning and even learning Senjutsu later on, but that was quite a ways in the future.
But before they got to any kind of training, there were several other things that needed to be taken care of, things that could go really badly.
"So, I hear that you've already found out about your parents." Jiraiya started awkwardly.
"Despite Sarutobi's best efforts. He's not really as good at keeping secrets as he thinks he is." Naruto answered without much inflection in his voice.
Jiraiya took note of the lack of respect in the way that the blond said his old sensei's name and figured that the old man must have really screwed the pooch as far as Naruto was concerned. It made him nervous about revealing his status as Naruto's godfather, but he remembered what his sensei had told him on this issue.
"No matter how ugly or painful, Naruto will always preffer to be told the truth. He will not appreciate having things hidden from him, no matter the reason."
There had been regret in the his tone when the old man had said that and Jiraiya guessed that Naruto had never allowed Sarutobi close again once he'd caught him in a lie.
"Well then I guess I should tell you that I'm your godfather." The toad sage revealed, hiding his nervousness.
Naruto raised a surprised eyebrow at the white haired man. "Interesting. So where have you been the past 17 years?"
"Minding my spy network mostly. Sarutobi always told me that you were well taken care of so I didn't really feel the need to come back to Konoha."
"The old geezer has a strange definition of 'well taken care of', but it turned out for the best in the end."
The words gave Jiraiya the bad feeling that Naruto had to suffer through a lot of the crap that he had seen Jinchuuriki going through before and suddenly understood with perfect clarity why the blond didn't like Sarutobi. He wasn't feeling too fond of him right now either. On the up side, it didn't seem like Naruto resented his absence in his life.
"So you're not upset that I wasn't there for you all this time?"
"Not too much. After all, if you had been there for me, I might have ended up like you, getting my ass kicked by women all the time." There was also no telling how he would have responded to Xanna if some ignorant outsider had been filling his head with stories about the 'evil demon fox'.
The toad sage felt his pride take a critical hit at those words, but it also brought back his desire to learn what the blond's secret was.
"About that...What's your secret?" Jiraiya asked, and that was not desperation in his voice.
"Tell you what, I'll set you up with for a date with one of the women who taught me a lot of what I know, if you train me as hard as you can for the next month."
"Ooooh, what does she look like?" Jiraiya asked eagerly, wiggling his fingers in an extremely perverted manner.
Naruto ignored his disturbing behaviour and continued. "You've already seen her actually. You remember Keiko? The one with the black hair and black eyes?"
Oh yes, Jiraiya remembered her alright and he had very much liked what he'd seen, but there was a problem.
"But won't she still be pissed at me for peeping on her?"
"Not if I put in a good word. Aside from that, the woman is the biggest pervert I've ever met, so she probably wasn't even as upset as she seemed."
"Well, you've met a bigger pervert than her now, because I am a SUPER PERVERT!" Jiraiya exclaimed. He couldn't help himself from announcing that...it was a point of pride for him.
"Well so is she, but you two can work out who the bigger pervert is on your date."
Naruto wasn't going to mention that Jiraiya was probably going to be spending most of that date chained to a wall somewhere while the woman in question whipped him or did whatever else struck her as fun at the time. He was in fact going to tell Keiko to be extra hard on the white haired Sannin. He might not be particularly upset about Jiraiya's absence in his life, but Naruto still had a propensity for sometimes cruel and unusual pranks.
The Sannin was already deep in his imaginary fantasy land of all the wonderful things that two super perverts could do together and was all fired up to start teaching his godson.
"Well then, no time to lose! Lets get to the training."
"Before we start, I'd like to ask if you know the Rasengan?" Naruto interrupted. He had been trying to figure out the technique for years and this old pervert might actually know it.
"Of course I know it, I'm the great Jiraiya after all!" The toad sage exclaimed and formed a rasengan in his hand.
"Good, now let me explain to you my idea of serious training."
The following explanation of using hordes of shadow clones and separating them into smaller groups, each of which would be with a Jiraiya shadow clone, working on separate things, left the toad sage with the distinct impression that his godson was taking his training just a wee bit too far. The promise of a date with a female super pervert kept him from protesting too much though.
Apparently Naruto had inherited the attitude of his parents as far as training went, along with their talent for Fuinjutsu, though neither Minato nor Kushina had ever trained with this kind of nearly obsessive drive.
Summoning turned out to be remarkably easy for Naruto, whose monstrous chakra reserves easily allowed him to summon Gamabunta. The giant toad was pissed off at first and refused to help the blond in battle until he proved himself by hanging on to him for a full day.
Naruto just cheated and chained himself to the toad boss, making him physically unable to fall off. Gamabunta grumbled, but gave up trying to dislodge him after an hour, seeing that it was pointless. He mellowed considerably when Naruto agreed to share a drink with him though.
Jiraiya had been much impressed that Naruto had been able to recreate his mothers chakra chains, but left it alone, as it wasn't really something that he could help with.
Training with the rasengan had been another interesting experience.
"This is my Rasenyari, I sort of created it by accident when I was trying to recreate the Rasengan." Naruto explained, showing the drill like chakra formation around his arm.
Jiraiya peered at it and immediately noticed several things that needed commneting on.
"That technique is wasting chakra like crazy and you can't adjust it to be non-lethal. All in all, the Rasengan is superior in pretty much every way."
"Well then teach me the Rasengan sensei." Jiraiya felt a swell of pride at being called sensei by his godson and formed the blue chakra sphere.
"Normally, I'd demonstrate how to form this technique by using water balloons and rubber balls, but we can do that tomorrow. For now, I'll just say that you need to swirl your chakra in many directions." Jiraiya explained.
Naruto got a look of concentration on his face as he held his hand out and tried to do what Jiraiya said. After a few tries, Naruto suddenly looked as if he'd had a revelation and easily formed the sphere.
Jiraiya could only stare with stunned shock as his godson figured out the first stage almost right off the bat.
"How the hell did you figure that out so fast? it took me months to do that!"
"Well, I've apparently been using something similar to the first stage as a tool to stimulate female erogenous zones, it's extremely effective." Naruto explained, somewhat surprised himself.
The toad sage could only stand there, his eye twitching as he suddenly recalled an old memory of when Minato had first begun teaching him this technique.
"That's why that cheeky blond bastard was smirking at me like that when he taught this to me! He knew that he was teaching me something that would really please the ladies, AND HE DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT!" Jiraiya raged to himself, looking utterly steamed. "I've had a technique that would really impress the ladies with my prowess in the bedroom AND I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT!"
Now he understood why Kushina kept smirking in that self satisfied manner whenever the rasengan was mentioned and why Minato had open amusement in his eyes when he was teaching it to him. The rotten little bastard had pranked him! And the prank had kept on being funny, because he had never figured it out!
At least his godson had some decency and told him about it. He was even setting him up on a date with an extremely beautiful and perverted woman who he could use it on. Despite being completely shown up as a ladies man by his much younger godson, the kid was a really decent guy.
Naruto figured out why Jiraiya looked so pissed from context and felt a rare moment of kinship with his dead father. Apparently tormenting the toad sage for amusement ran in the family.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
3 weeks before the finals.
"Hey there little sister, how are you feeling?" Naruto asked as he entered Hinata's hospital room.
"I'm ok nii-san, the doctors tell me that I'll be able to get out of here in two weeks." Hinata replied, happy that he had come to visit. Aside from her team and little sister, nobody had come to visit her. Even then, Hanabi had been escorted by a branch house member instead of her father.
She was glad that at least she had managed to stay close to her sister, despite their father apparently doing everything he could to pit them against each other. Hanabi remembered who had comforted her and taken care of her when she'd been scared, and it hadn't been their father. She was still close to her father and respected him, but she didn't allow herself to become disdainful of Hinata like him.
"That's good, you'll be able to see me beat the crap out of your cousin." Naruto chuckled.
"You think you can beat him?" Hinata asked curiously. She knew that Naruto was strong, but Neji wasn't called a genius for nothing.
"I could have beaten him a month ago and I'm learning lots of new things. I didn't show everything that I could do during my fight with Lee either." The blond answered her.
"But why would you hold back against Lee? You nearly lost." She wondered in shock.
"I wanted to see how good my Taijutsu was. I hadn't expected Lee to be capable of something as crazy as the eight gates, otherwise I might have reconsidered handicapping myself." Naruto said wryly.
Hinata was silent for a while before she asked him another question.
"You said you would help with my training nii-san, are you still going to do that?" She asked with a blush.
She was pleased with herself that she had stopped stuttering around Naruto now that she knew what a great guy he was, but she was still embarrassed about asking something like that. It had taken her some time to get used to the fact that he never wore a shirt, but as long as she didn't think about it too much, she could prevent herself from blushing at the sight of his bare chest.
"Of course I am, and I've got just the thing for you." Naruto said with a grin before continuing. "You remember my resistance seals?"
At her nod he continued. "Well, how would you like me to put them on you too? They'll make any training you do a lot more effective."
Hinata couldn't prevent a wide smile from forming on her face. It was very rare for a shinobi to share techniques or training methods with anyone except his own students, which meant that Naruto was putting a lot of trust in her. "I'd like that nii-san."
"Alright, but errr...you'll have to be naked for me to paint the seals on your body." Naruto told her with a rare moment of embarrassment. Nobody would ever accusse the blond of being shy about nudity, but telling a 13 year old girl to strip so he could doodle on her with a calligraphy brush was another matter entirely.
"Eep!" Hinata's blush was nearly hot enough to set the bed on fire, but began to cool down quickly. The reason for this was because she had fainted.
"I guess I'll talk to her about this later then." Naruto said to himself with a sweatdrop and left the hospital.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Naruto was currently in his appartment, fiddling with the Reaper Death Seal, trying to figure out how it worked.
His clones were still training with Jiraiya even at this very moment, but he really wanted to figure out this seal, which was why he wasn't there personally today.
"What are you doing?" Xanna's voice suddenly asked from behind him, making him jump a bit in surprise. He hadn't expected her to just show up right behind his back like that.
"I'm messing with this seal, trying to figure out how it works."
"Oh? Dare I ask why?"
Xanna had a momentary thought that he was trying to find out how to reseal her inside of himself before she dismissed the thought. She couldn't help but instinctively think that, even though she knew he wasn't like that.
Humanity as a whole had left a very bad impression on her.
"I'm actually hoping that I'll have a chance to look at Gaara's seal and see what's wrong with it and maybe use what I learn from my seal to fix his." Naruto explained.
"Gaara? I assume That is the name of the human that has Shukaku sealed inside of him?" Xanna questioned, her nine tails out for a change and stroking his bare back.
"Yeah, but he's acting really strange. I know you said that he would be unstable, but I think that's mostly because the seal is so weak that he can't even sleep. He also calls Shukaku 'mother' for some reason." The blond answered, still messing around with the seal.
Xanna raised a crimson eyebrow. That was strange even for Shukaku. It was also incredibly strange for anyone with the Ichibi sealed in them to be as stable as Naruto was making it sound.
"An interesting project, but why would..." Xanna trailed off and suddenly developed a look of concentration on her face.
"Xanna?"
"Interesting...whatever you just did, it has blocked the mental link between us, I can no longer hear your thoughts." The demoness answered.
She wasn't upset about not being able to read his mind at will anymore. She hadn't done it much anyway.
"Interesting, I wonder what else I can do with this?" Naruto muttered to himself and continued messing with the seal. He hadn't been bothered about her ability to read his mind, he didn't keep any secrets from her anyway, so it was more of a minor curiosity that he was able to do that.
Xanna was fairly interested herself, so she stayed around and tried to see if she could sense what kind of changes he was making to the seal. She'd thought that he was in one of his deeply focused moods and would keep working for a while, but she could see him getting distracted after a few minutes.
"Hey Xanna, how would you like to go on a date with me?" He was actually somewhat nervous about asking this question, as he got the distinct feeling that dating was not something that demons did. He had stopped fiddling with the seal and was now petting her tails instead.
She didn't manifest her tails too often, but it felt nice to let them out sometimes. She especially liked it when he petted them. They were quite sensitive and having them gently petted by someone she could trust was was something that had only happened a couple of times in her entire life.
"A date? That silly human ritual where a man attempts to impress a woman enough that she will spread her legs for him?" Xanna asked with a note of incredulity in her tone. She had no idea why he was asking her to go on a date with him. He had become an impressive man, both in personality and appearance and she had actually come to enjoy his company more than that of anyone she had ever met before. If he desired her body, then there was no need to spend several hours trying to impress her enough for her to be willing to go to bed with him.
"You've got a real gift for killing all the romance in something." Naruto couldn't help but chuckle. "A date is about more than just trying to get between a womans' legs. It's also about getting to know each other and doing something together besides having sex." The blond explained.
The red haired demoness was still looking terribly sceptical.
"Just humour me then. You might find yourself enjoying it."
She still looked dubious, but was considering it. He had never asked her to do something like this before and had no idea what brought this on. The blond had said that he loved her and done his best to understand her. He had never tried to apply human morality to her, but had instead done his best to see things from her point of view.
She knew that it had been difficult for him to do as she said and find other women to sleep with, but she considered this important enough to push him to do it. Humans were notorious for denying their own nature and it never led to anything good in her opinion.
What most people seemed unable to understand, was that empathy too was human nature. Naruto had grasped this almost instinctively. She had never breathed a word of it to him, but a respect for the lives of others was practically built into him, which meant that he would never become the kind of monster that many shinobi tend to become. These ninja so eagerly threw away their feelings, thinking that it made them weak. The barest look at their own history would tell them that the most emotional shinobi had also become the most powerful, because they had embraced who they were. Some of those had ended up being monsters, but they had been powerful before whatever it was had corrupted them.
No matter how much he thought that loving someone meant never touching another woman, it was entirely impossible for him not to be attracted to a beautiful woman when he saw one. If he was constantly pushing down his own nature then he would remain weak and conflicted.
He had given his heart to her, so it didn't matter to her how many women he stuck his other body parts into, not to mention that all of that practice had done wonders for his ability to please her. Aside from that, she could also appreciate the beauty of the female form herself, it was why she had created a female body for herself after all.
The incident in Wave country had been a gamble, but it had also been inevitable and it had turned out for the best...at least for her, Tsunami would probably have disagreed if she knew of everything that was going on.
It was a new sensation for Xanna, to be loved. It made her...happy. Her existence had been long and she had felt content with it for the most part. There had been long stretches of boredom to be sure, but being happy was new. Love had always eluded her understanding and it fascinated her to see how it drove Naruto. It also both intrigued and scared her to realise just how it affected her to see how he adored her. On one hand, she wanted more of this feeling, but on the other she dreaded the day that he would die and it would all be gone.
Was this what humans called love? She didn't know, but she knew that the thought of having it suddenly taken from her was something that displeased her greatly.
Keeping all that in mind, it would be no great sacrifice on her part to go along with his idea of going on a date.
"Alright, I'll go on a date with you, but only after this Chunin exam of yours is finished."
"Great. That even gives me time to get something appropriate to wear." Naruto said enthusiastically. He had only just now thought of it and hadn't really accounted for the fact that he didn't really have anything appropriate to wear for a date.
"Appropriate to wear?" Xanna asked curiously. What did it matter what kind of clothing they wore on a date?
"Well, usually people wear something more fancy or formal when they go on a date." Naruto explained.
"I see." The demoness said consideringly. She didn't see the point, but if she was going along with this, then she might as well go all the way. "I will wear something 'appropriate' too then."
Naruto couldn't contain his happy grin, as far as he was concerned, the Chunin exam couldn't be over fast enough.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Two weeks until the finals.
Naruto was currently in a training field with Rock Lee, who had been released from the care of the medic-nins and Maito Gai, asking the eccentric Jounin-sensei to teach him how to use the eight gates. Lee was currently running laps, with boulders tied to his back.
The two green beasts clearly didn't know it, but the gates actually flooded the body with raw Yang chakra. He had come to this conclusion after giving some serious thought to it and getting an explanation from Jiraiya. The gates unlocked the bodies potential and then increased it to superhuman levels by forcibly converting physical energy into Yang chakra and pumping it through the body.
The process was crude and uncontroled, which is what led to the damage suffered by the body. Humans had probably manifested the gates as limiters when chakra was first given, or more accurately, stolen by humanity.
The blond was thinking that if he could find a way to control the output of Yang chakra, or failing that, seal some of it, that he could find some means by which he could reach Xanna's power level.
"Naruto, as much as I am impressed by the burning flames of your youth, I cannot teach you that. It is a Kinjutsu for a reason." Maito Gai said with uncommon seriousness.
"Please? I'll trade you a really great way to train your youth in return." Naruto cajoled.
Gai knew that he shouldn't be tempted, but he was. Naruto had more than proved that he could come up with some very impressive ways to train.
"I am not agreeing, but just out of curiosity, what is this training method?"
"I've learned how to make seals that increase the gravity in a predetermined area. All you have to do is mark out the area where you'd like to have the gravity increased, and I'll place the proper seals. Then you will be able to train so hard that your youth will overflow and explode like a geyser. I'll even teach you how to adjust the gravity and how to supply the seal with enough chakra to keep it active."
Naruto struggled to keep his face from twisting in disgust at the thought of the two green beasts 'exploding with youth'. The two of them threw out so many gay sexual innuendos that it was ridiculous. He knew they weren't really gay, but seriously, who the hell goes around wearing skintight green spandex and talking about 'exploding with youth'? He REALLY wanted to learn about the eight gates though and was willing to speak in gay sexual innuendo if it got Gai to teach it to him.
Not that he had anything against homosexuals, but he preffered females.
Maito Gai felt his resolve weakening severely at the offer. To be capable of training in a high gravity enviroment would be a dream come true.
"I'm not even intending to use the gates in combat, I'm more interested in them as part of my Fuinjutsu research."
Gai's resolve crumbled. If Naruto wasn't intending to open the gates in combat, then surely it was alright to teach it to him. Right?
"Alright Naruto, I will teach you how to open the gates, but you must promise me to never use them unless something precious to you is in danger." Gai said firmly. It was something that he would demand of anyone that wished to learn such a dangerous technique.
"I promise." Naruto agreed easily. His marriage to Xanna was in danger...sort of, that counted as far as he was concerned.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
One week until the finals.
Kurenai couldn't sleep.
She was not an insomniac, nor was she often plagued by nightmares. The bed was warm and comfortable, perfect for lulling her to sleep. She wasn't thirsty or hungry or in any kind of discomfort at all. In short, everything was perfect for sleeping.
Except for the screaming coming from Anko's room.
The two of them had lived together for some years now and had never seen a need for one of them to move out. Over the years, each had brought people over before. Sometimes they ended up sleeping with them and sometimes they didn't.
Anko was more prone to bringing people home than her, both men and women since the purple haired woman was bisexual, though not anywhere near as many as her general behaviour and mode of dress would make you think. Usually when this happened, Kurenai would have no trouble sleeping, because Anko wouldn't be screaming loud enough to wake the dead.
The previous day however, she had chanced upon Uzumaki Naruto and things had rapidly escalated until the two of them had ended up in Anko's bedroom.
At the time, Kurenai had been only mildly upset over the fact that Anko was going to sleep with a man that she had gotten interested in. It's not like the snake summoner was stealing him away from her, considering the fact that nothing had really happened between them.
After hearing Anko scream and moan in exctasy for several hours already though, she was getting pretty cranky.
She was tired, but she couldn't get to sleep because of the noise and the heat burning in her loins was just as hot as her envy over the fact that Anko was obviously having such a great time. She might want a serious relationship, but damnit all, she had needs too and listening to her best friend having what was apparently earth shatteringly great sex was making her regret that she hadn't slept with the blond when she had the chance.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kurenai walked towards the bathroom with bleary eyes, dressed only in an oversized shirt and panties. She had only gotten a couple of hours of sleep and could barely keep her eyes open.
The shower was running, but the red eyed Jounin paid no heed to it. Anko and Kurenai weren't shy around each other and it was perfectly normal for one of them to walk into the bathroom while the other was showering.
She opened the door just as the shower stopped running and walked in.
Naruto stepped out of the shower, completely naked, his equipment hanging out in the open in a semi-erect state. Kurenai stared at him without comphrehension for several long seconds, before her eyes naturally gravitated downwards.
No wonder Anko was screaming so loud.
As soon as the thought passed through her head, Kurenai bolted out of the bathroom with her face on fire. As she was leaning against the door to the bathroom, trying to get her breath back, she could hear Naruto chuckling to himself in the bathroom.
This was not standard procedure for Anko, at all. Every other time that she had brought someone home and slept with him or her, they were gone long before morning came around. She had no idea what this meant, but she was going to find out.
As soon as her face stopped glowing.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Anko, Kurenai and Naruto were sitting around a table, having just finished breakfast.
Kurenai was still wearing the same oversized shirt that she had slept in, but had put on a pair of casual sweatpants.
Naruto and Anko were wearing considerably less. Naruto was dressed in nothing but his underwear, while Anko didn't even bother with that, though she had put on a bathrobe that she was wearing in the same style that she wore her overcoat. That was, opened and barely covering anything.
"So..." Kurenai began awkwardly, unsure of how to start a conversation with two mostly naked people.
"You're wondering what blondie is still doing here right?" Anko helpfully interjected.
"Kind of yeah."
"Well, he caught sight of my cursed seal sometime between my first and second orgasm and asked if he could study it. He seems pretty confident that he'll be able to do something about it." Anko explained, making Kurenai blush slightly at the reminder.
"Well from what I've seen of Sasuke's seal, Orochimaru is pretty sloppy with his Fuinjutsu. I'm actually surprised that people actually survive having that seal placed on them." Naruto added.
"It has a 1 in 10 chance of survival." Anko said dryly.
"Ah, nevermind then." The blond said with a sweatdrop. "Anyway, it's because of the bad seal work that I think I might be able to modify it and make it harmless at least, maybe even outright remove it."
"Well, if you can manage to get this disgusting thing off me, then I'd be really grateful." Anko said suggestively.
"Can you two please not start anything in front of me?" Kurenai grumbled, hiding her jealousy behind irritation.
"Looks like Nai-chan is a bit stressed, maybe she'd like a home video that shows her how we relax Naruto?" Anko suggested, sidling he chair up to Kurenai and pressing against her right side.
"That's a cute nickname Anko, but if we're making presentations, then you know that nothing beats a live performance. Isn't that right Nai-chan?" Naruto suggested back, sidling up to the Genjutsu mistress on her left side.
Trapped between the two nearly naked perverts, Kurenai could do nothing but blush, unable to come up with any words to say. Just one of them was bad enough, but apparently they were exponentially worse when they were together.
"Nai-chan is looking pretty tense, she probably hasn't been sleeping well." Naruto commented, using Anko's nickname for her.
Of course I haven't slept well with you two making so much noise in the next room. The red eyed Jounin though to herself in irritation.
"Yeah, you're right, but what could we do about it?" Anko asked, keeping up the game.
"Well, I've been told that I give a killer massage." The blond said, looking at Kurenai with a clear question in his face and voice.
Kurenai bit her lip with indecision. She was most definitely not comfortable with the way the two of them were pressing up against her. But a massage sounded really nice right about now, especially if Naruto was the one giving it.
Making a decision and hoping desperately that she wasn't going to end up doing something that she would regret later, she turned towards the blond. "Alright, I'll take you up on that massage."
"You won't be disappointed." He grinned at her.
A few minutes later, Kurenai was laying face down on her bed, still dressed in her shirt and pants and Naruto straddled her hips, still in his underwear. She tried really hard not to think about that. Anko had stayed in the living room to give them some privacy.
He put his hands on her back and began to knead the muscles gently, but firmly. Ninja in general went through life with a great deal of stress, so when Kurenai felt Naruto's powerful chakra penetrating her skin and swirling through her body, loosening up her tense muscles, she had to be careful so that she didn't let out any pleased groans.
Some minutes later, he asked a question and she had to ask him to repeat it because she hadn't been paying attention.
"I was asking whether this shirt had any emotional value for you." The blond told her, amusement coloring his voice.
"Hmm, no, it's just some random shirt I wear to bed." She replied, enjoying herself too much to bother thinking about why he was asking that.
When he suddenly grabbed her shirt in both hands and ripped it apart, leaving her bare back exposed, she let out a surprised yelp. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Don't worry, I just needed to get the shirt out of the way. I'll get you a new one if you want." Naruto said, completely unrepentant over the fact that he had just ripped her clothes off.
He resumed massaging her before she could say anything more and she had to admit that it was much better. Feeling his large hands on her bare back made the whole experience twice as good and she became uncomfortably aware of the heat pooling between her legs again. The fact that his groin was pressing against her rear end was not helping matters.
"I'm going to start on your legs, do you want me to take your pants off?" He questioned after he had completely worked over her back.
Kurenai buried her face in a pillow and nodded, too embarrassed to look at him and tell him just how much she wanted him to take her pants off.
He slid them off and she lifted her hips to help him do it, leaving her wearing nothing but a red thong.
He was tempted to comment on the choice of underwear, but restrained himself and started massaging her feet instead.
Kurenai did groan with pleasure this time as she felt the wonderfully soothing sensation of having her feet massaged with both hands and chakra. After he finished with both feet, he slowly made his way up her left leg, stopping just before her butt and moving on to the other. When he was finished with both legs he placed his hands on her naked butt cheeks slowly, giving her plenty of time to protest.
But she didn't and he continued the massage there. Her underwear quickly started getting soaked from her arousal.
"Take me." She whispered with her eyes closed, not able to stand it any longer. Even if he didn't want a serious relationship, she at least wanted him to take care of the need she was feeling right now.
He leaned over her, chest just barely pressing into her back, making her arousal all the stronger and asked close to her ear. "What did you say? I didn't quite hear."
"Take me." She repeated a bit louder.
He pressed further into her and whispered into her ear. "You know that I can't give you a relationship." Kurenai was a damned sexy woman and he was perfectly willing to sleep with her, but he didn't want her regretting anything later. She was a good person and had even become something of a friend during the two months that they had worked together and he didn't want any awkwardness between them.
Kurenai groaned into the pillow as her nether regions throbbed with even more arousal. Why did he have to be so damned considerate?
Deciding to just dive into it and worry about the consequences later, she turned around so that she was on her back, flinging the remains of her ripped shirt away in the same motion, revealing her breasts. He had backed up a bit to give her room to turn around, but she reached behind his head and pulled him down into a kiss, the rest of his body pressing into her. She could feel that he was just as aroused as her, the same monster she had seen earlier when he had stepped from the shower now throbbed against her sopping wet underwear.
One of his hands reached for her thong and ripped it off with an impatient growl, which only fueled her desire even more, knowing that he must have been keeping a tight lid on his own arousal during the whole massage. She reached down to his underwear and tugged it off, using her feet to get it the rest of the way down his legs.
He pressed into her, his throbbing member pulsing against her opening, making her gasp and cling to his back even tighter in anticipation.
"Last chance." Was growled into her ear, fangs pressing lightly against her ear.
Intead of answering she reached between them with her hand and took hold of him. Angling the throbbing and hard thing in her hand towards her slick opening, she inserted just the head inside, reveling in the groan that rumbled out of his chest
"Take me." She said again, but this time with a seductive purr. She had taken this too far to be backing out now, not that she wanted to.
Not needing anymore invitation, he pushed inside her and she barely kept her scream locked behind her teeth as she felt herself being split open. She had never been with any man this big before and could barely believe how deep inside of her he'd gone.
He stayed still for several long seconds to allow her to adjust before he began to thrust into her with a slow but forceful rhytm, keeping his teeth lightly scraping over her neck.
It had been while since Kurenai had been with a man and she had been very aroused before they'd started, so it didn't take her long at all before she felt the buildup of pressure that signified an approaching orgasm.
"I'm almost there." She gasped out.
"Me too." The words were barely recognisable over the growl in his voice.
"In me, together!" She moaned out the words and felt her body shudder with pleasure immediately afterwards, followed by a rush of warmth.
Naruto had, much to her embarrassment at the time told her of the seal he'd placed on his testicles and right now, she was glad, because it allowed her to enjoy being filled up like this without worry about pregnancy.
She sighed contently, running her hands over his back absently. She might not be getting a relationship out of it, but it had definitely been worth it.
Naruto raised himself up so that he could look her in the eye.
"Ready for round two?" he asked with a grin.
"Don't you need some time to recover?" She asked in shock. As far as she knew, that was not how it worked for men.
"A healing factor is a great thing to have isn't it?" He asked rhetorically.
"But you've already been at it all night with Anko!" She said in protest, there was just no way that he had that kind of stamina.
"I can keep going as long as I've got chakra and I make it a point to never disappoint a beautiful woman."
"You certainly didn't disappoint." She sad dryly.
"And I'm going to keep 'not disappointing' you for several more hours." The grin was back and he thrust himself back inside her before she could say anymore, turning whatever she was going to say into a loud groan.
Just outside the door to Kurenai's room, Anko was eavesdropping and had heard everything.
Grinning to herself as she rubbed her thighs together, the snake mistress was making plans to crash that party.
Kurenai was a beautiful woman and Anko was bisexual. The chance to get both her and Naruto at the same time was just too tempting. She had been hoping to convert Kurenai into an equal opportunity lover ever since she had drunkenly made out with her one day and this was definitely a good opportunity for it.
Kurenai might also be pissed at her for it, but it would hardly be the only time that she had done something that the Genjutsu mistress hadn't liked, so it probably wouldn't be too bad...probably.
Maybe being impaled on Naruto's giant joystick would keep her too busy to be upset. A girl could only hope.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
OMAKE: Jiraiya's date.
Jiraiya woke up feeling very uncomfortable. He immediately realised that his hands were bound to the ceiling with chains, his feet similarly bound to the floor, he was also gagged and stripped down to his underwear. His last memory was of walking to Keiko's house with the lovely lady in question on his arm. As soon as they had entered, he had felt a prick on his arm and consciousness slipped away.
Yanking on the chains revealed only the disheartening information that the chains were too strong to break or rip out of the ceiling. Squinting at them revealed that there were small seals inscribed on them, likely reinforcing them.
His ears caught the sound of high heeled boots clicking on the floor and a door opened behind him.
"Ah, I see that the worm has awoken." Came the voice of Keiko, but instead of the warm and teasing tone that he had come to expect from her, it was cold and vicious.
She walked in front of him and Jiraiya's eyes nearly popped out of his skull in appreciation. Knee high heeled boots, a tight leather top that pushed up her breasts and pressed tightly at her crotch, complete with a metal studded choker around her neck. She was every bit an erection inducing sight.
In her hands however, was a worrisome object.
A whip.
Oh sure, Jiraiya could see that it wasn't meant to strip the flesh from bone, but it would still sting like a bitch.
"Naruto-sama has told me of you worm." Keiko continued, still in the same cold and vicious tone. "He tells me that you are a pitiful excuse of a man that peeps on women because you derive pleasure from the beatings they give you."
Jiraiya frantically shook his head in denial. What in the name of Shukaku's dusty balls had his godson been telling this woman?
"He tells me that you feel guilty for using them in such a way for your own pleasure and so he sent you to me. I will gladly satisfy your perverted desires so that innocent women may be spared from your leering eyes."
"Now scream for me worm!" She commanded and began swinging the whip, cracking it against his chest.
Jiraiya tried everthing he could to escape but the woman would not stop. Whether he screamed or stayed stubbornly silent, she just kept swinging. Occasionally she changed to a different tool, such as paddles and cattle prods, but she gave him no respite.
Whats worse, the toad sage could see the signs of her arousal leaking down her legs from under the tight leather strip covering her crotch. He even saw her shuddering from obvious orgasms several times.
With a whimper that was very real, Jiraiya realised that he wasn't going to be going anywhere until this sadistic pervert released him and he wouldn't even be able to retaliate, because the gallant Jiraiya never hit a woman.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
OMAKE 2: a drink with Gamabunta.
Hinata was sleeping soundly in her bed, until a sudden shaking of the earth shook the Hyuuga compound , accompanied by a loud crashing sound.
Running outside in her sleeping gown, she joined the rest of her clan in gawking at the spectacle before them.
Uzumaki Naruto and Gamabunta had crash landed onto the private Hyuuga training ground that was just behind the compound. Both were clearly dead stinking drunk and singing a very off key drinking song.
"When I get really drunk, I think that I'm a ninja!" Gamabunta bellowed at ear splitting volume.
"I am ninja, he ish ninja!" Naruto sang at the top of his lungs, pointing at himself and the toad boss.
"You can find me in my old pajamash stuck up in a tree!" Bunta swung his giant tanto in the vague direction of a tree when he sang this, nearly taking the roof off one of the nearby buildings.
"She is ninja too!" Naruto sang and suddenly pointed at Hinata, making the girl give out an 'eep' and blush.
"Shee that'sh the thing, for every ninja that you find!" Gamabunta gesticulated wildly, still bellowing.
"I am ninja, we are ninja!"
"There's a thoushand wannabesh!" The toad boss gestured in the general direction of the gathered Hyuuga.
"And I believe you are ninja too!" With this final line, Naruto suddenly grabbed Hinata and pressed her face into his naked chest.
"Hey Bunta, check out my cute little shishster!" The blond yelled up at the toad boss drunkenly.
"She'sh a cute one alright, but I didn't know you were a Huuyga...no wait that ain't the word...Hyuuga, thatsh it!." Bunta said in the tone of someone who had discovered a great secret of existence.
"I'm not you giant wart on the assh of the world, but she definitely looks like a little shishter!" Naruto refuted...drunkenly.
Hiashi was thinking fast about what he could do to defuse this situation. Sadly, it wasn't the first time that a drunken Gamabunta had crashed into a clan training ground.
The Aburame had never quite forgiven the Yondaime.
Either way, the Hyuuga didn't have any techniques that would allow them to fight a gigantic boss summon, never mind the fact that he wasn't a hostile. They couldn't attack Uzumaki either, since that would end up being called an assault against the head of another clan.
"Let go of my nee-chan!" Came the voice of an angry Hanabi, who was worried about what this perverted flasher was doing with her sister and had pushed her way to the front.
"Oh look, it'sh another cute little shishter!" Naruto exclaimed and grabbed her too, making her give a squeal. She would have used the Juuken, but that was pretty hard to do with your arms mashed together and your face in someone elses chest.
Jumping up on Gamabunta's head with his two little sisters before anyone could react, he only barely heard one of the long haired guys below yelling something.
"Release my daughters Uzumaki!"
"Who ish thish girly looking bashtard?"
"I dunno, but I think it'sh time for thish ship to shet shail!"
"Bunta AWAY!"
With that, Gamabunta jumped in a random direction that he hoped had nothing important in it, blond summoner and his two cute, squealing little sisters in tow.
Before they started chasing after the giant toad in an effort to recover the clan heads daughters, they heard one last below from the giant toad.
"Fifteen men on a dead man'sh chesht!"